brokenmentality
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2004 1 April :: 8.24am
so its been a couple days.... im suffereing from lack of woohu.
the other day i was talking to my mom.. and my sister comes in saying "the kitty got a mouse" and we looked at her to tell her to be quiet and right there IN her hands, was none other then *gasps* a mouse. it was all half dead and twitching... *shudders* it was scary.
i got my report card. 3.945
oh yesh..... go me.
spring back will consist of nothing.. and its going to be "AWESOME" meh heh.... sometimes you just cant refrain from making fun of people.
oh yeah.. i had lunch yesterday. yup.
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brokenmentality
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2004 30 March :: 2.07pm
*laughs*
its just so darn pathetic. i find it funny when people who have meteoker lives try and make it dramatic just to call attention to themselves.
*eeeeks* so hott, so so so so hott.
its nice to feel that way again. to actually see someone and have that feeling in your stomach jump, or try and tell your friends that "oh my gosh" he looked at me.. but you cant stop smiling and giggling, or when you can feel your face turn red when he walks by. i havent had that for awhile.. and even though i know it would never happen, im ok with that. because im content with just being in the giddy stage................
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brokenmentality
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2004 29 March :: 3.41pm
now im all confused. i think im going to prom, i think he thinks im going with him, but i dont know for sure. and now im confused as to how i could be going with someone and not even know myself that im going. hmmm.. i dont know.
i love otis....... he is my wonderfull little man.. and i shall love him forever. *admires
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munkysaurus
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2004 28 March :: 5.38pm
:: Music: Incubus - Southern Girl
The sonic material brain manifestations of those of the numb, come...
Yo' yo' check it, check it. Let me break it down to you.
I set a date
lost a mate
gained a new found
sense of hate
The worl' is stuck
in the 18th century
I lost
another thing dear to me
Now, I can't bust the beats
I can't rap, I can't rhyme
Why the fuck am I wastin'
my fuckin' time.
My job, yeah, she's a
bitch
All the people do is
snitch
Nag, and rag,
what a fuckin drag!
Cough*
I miss Jessica
I miss not doing anything in art class
I miss talking about sex in Anatomy
I miss the ability to have passion towards drawing and writing
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brokenmentality
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2004 28 March :: 4.35pm
im at brandi's. Matt's party last night was fun. that was the best orgy i've ever had. te he. *winks
so you know the purse i might have "mentioned" before in my journal? With the funny little man? Well i got it today, and i named him Otis. i love Otis. Otis rocks my socks. but in other news....
so im gonna learn bass i suppose, and then im going join me a band schee. and then we're gonna play at battle of the bands schee. and im gonna stop saying schee.. cuz its gay. annnnywhore. really though. it should be fun. fun people they are. (the schutters)
brandi and i went for a walk. it was "exhilerating."
ok, im gone.
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brokenmentality
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2004 27 March :: 1.06pm
im at work with my mom right now. i dont think im supposed to be on the internet... i guess i'll just take that chance. i feel alot better. im glad that maybe she's starting to understand. i love you, you know i do.
im getting my hair highlighted in about 20 minutes. *screams. im scared.
i went to out to coffee with jake yesterday, that was nice, havent seen him for awhile.
my mom went out last night. i was really happy she did cuz she hasnt in a long time. i was praying and i was like... "thank you that my mom is out having a good time, she deserves it." then i stopped and was thinking, wait, im praising god that my mom is out at a bar?! Lol..... ah well. i love her so much.
*OH MY GOSH*
good things to happen to semi- good people. *breathes in* Brandi, you know yesterday after school.. the thing that stopped me from breathing?!!!!! YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH. wow. i must control myself. but wow. so hott.... gah. *faints*
i typed up my story, its 16 pages, im sure i made a zillion mechanical errors, but it was good to write a story like that. it's called.... "Coffee, Ignorance, and Redemption" im actually semi - proud.
i had mini muffins today... they're just too cute for their own good.
ok, i've gotta go chemically damage my hair..... *thinks back to previous spasm*
Good lord he's hott.
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brokenmentality
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2004 26 March :: 2.09pm
im so depressed. im losing everything. my best friend, my patience, everything.
its nice to know that im self centered and blow everything out of proportion.
im gonna go home and try to not think about anything at all. everytime i do... i hate myself. and im sick of hating myself.
i hope you're happy, you're tearing me apart... im begining to hate you for it.
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brokenmentality
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2004 25 March :: 12.09pm
im still angry... it only gets worse. maybe i should just "remove" myself from the source of anger. i dont know if thats even possible.
im just tired of feeling sick to my stomach everytime im in your presence.
youth group tonight.
highlighting hair saturday.
matts party.
pathetically small schedual. oh well. i wanna go to cafe ala mode with becky and ryan, it was closed last time we wanted to go. i just want to find a nice, quite coffee shop or book store where i can just go and read and talk casually with nobody in particular. that'd be nice.
note to self: (i've got nothing.)
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brokenmentality
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2004 24 March :: 12.14pm
well now its wendnesday, and thanks to stacy i now know that it is wendnesday because yesterday was tuesday. you are so smart.. i envy your erm.. smartness.
so brandi.... i wath at your houth yethterday... i jutht love it there. Ethpethially when we lithen to muthic. ithh great. you're tho thilly, i juth love you!
*te he ~nervous laugh, changes subject.
im getting my hair highlighted this weekend.
woot woot.
you make me sick.
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brokenmentality
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2004 23 March :: 1.42pm
its only tuesday...... why is it only tuesday.
a couple of months ago someone called me manic depresive.
hmm.. i wonder if its true.
sometimes life sucks.
other times it doesnt.
so in a way isnt everyone manic depresive sometimes? When they have things in their life they have no control over, and it gets so frustrating that you have no idea what to do about it. so if that is considered manic depresive, then everyone can be like that at times. its the people who have more circumstances like that, that are considered manic depressive.
good observation. yep...
yesterday after my mom got home we went and looked at some "houses" cough cough... and it was so much fun. we were just being crazy. i love when i can be like that with her. alot of times it doesnt seem like shes my mom, but like shes my best friend. which she is... but i mean really. shes so much fun....
*tear.. i love my mom. lol
if school was a group of people at a flea market, i'd drive my car through them.
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brokenmentality
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2004 22 March :: 8.30am
*cries
secret window.... two johnnys..... TWO of them...... the world is perfect now.
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brokenmentality
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2004 19 March :: 12.13pm
so thats nice to find out.....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!!!!! *yells and waves*
on a darker note, seems how people keep using that phrase, when will this ever end. oh wait, i know that answer. in a couple months tops. mmmmm.... people are just silly. *im gonna start to overuse corny words, just for the heck of it.*
so i think im gonna see secret window this weekend... not for sure. but hopefully. im suffering from johnny withdrawl. i know for sure brandi wants to go... so if anyone else wants to go let me know. we can set up a "group gathering" oh yes..... and we shall call it a "group gathering." ok... end of subject.
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brokenmentality
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2004 18 March :: 12.14pm
why do i let it get to me.... i know what i am, so why should i let people make me feel like i'm less. maybe it'll all work out one day.. i dont think it will though.
so i got this email.... and it was kind of a suprise, but it was nice. its nice to feel wanted again. or maybe not wanted, but attracted to.... havent had that in awhile.
i've decided that im gonna stop swearing... REALLY try and stop. why do i swear anyway... most likely i'll fail miserably... but theres not harm in giving it a shot.
i really hate how some people talk to you only until somebody else comes along, or ignores you mid sentence. i also love how my opinions dont matter and my problems are comparable to hers. i wish i knew what went through her head on a day to day basis.
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brokenmentality
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2004 16 March :: 2.18pm
im so behind on homework, i didnt come to school yesterday because i was too tired. and no im not a panzy, but really..... i was tired!
no more play, it really is sad...... what am i going to do with my time now? i guess i'll volunteer, not like its a bad thing, i just dont want to get the tb test. something about being stabbed with 4 little needles and waiting for my skin to bubble up doesnt appeal to me.
i should jump on the bandwagan and make one of those quizes people keep sending me..... hmm, pry not. ya'll just cheat anyways. and what a fun word... ya'll. i love those southeners... just love em.
i havent seen the secret window yet, its sad, it really is. i've been to busy. but now im all free.. so if anyone wants to see it, WITH me and becky of course, give me a call. movies are always more fun in groups. ah well.
i love my new friends! and my old ones! and just.... erm... i dont know. life is ok now... not great. but ok. and im content with ok.
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brokenmentality
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2004 14 March :: 2.54am
im at jessies right now.... decided to check my email since i havent since YESTERDAY.. gasp.
it still bothers me, and it bothers me that it bothers me. mm hmm, that made sence, i know it did.....
the play kicked ass all three nights, im sad its over, relieved and sad.
i suppose i have nothing to say except i have a shit load of homework to do tomorrow. damn that homework.
well they're watching pirates, i am SO in for a little depp action.
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