The world will finally know my name.
I'm getting published by Guildhall Press...

...

Whoa.

Read more..

Did I mention I got a puppy? His name is Jedi and today he is 35 days old. I don't know what breed he is, I bought him from a street vendor that didn't speak English. There were three puppies and a mother in a cage the size of a backpack, and this puppy became mine. Next week we're taking him to get his vaccinations and his first medical cleaning. He might have some tick/flea problems, but he is healthy looking and happy looking and that's all that matters to me.

Edit: Oh yeah, and I started writing again.

I had the best laid plans this side of America...

From now on, please think of me as the girl who broke away.

5

Is this what it feels like to be stuck? Like birds who have their wings clipped? Cats with cones so they can't scratch their own ears. Little girls with henna in their clenched fists, wrapped in a cloth, who can't touch or hold anything. Amputees. A paralyzed man who can't get his legs to move no matter how hard he tries. Infertile couples who can't have a baby no matter how hard they try.

This is what it must feel like to have all the money in the world and be stuck on a desert island. To have an electric coffee maker and no where to plug it. To paint a masterpiece in your head and not have any paper to put it down on. This is what mute singers must feel like.

I'm a photographer without a camera. A camera without film. Or film without a camera. A roll of film that will never ever be developed.

A developed roll of film that will never see an enlarger or be seen in a photograph.

Yes, I think that was it. A developed roll of film that will never be seen in a photograph.

Because you came to me
with all I dreamed could be
I can live again
with no regrets for dreams that died
before you came

Because I loved you more
than words could ever say
I can touch those stars
that seemed so very far away
before you came

(chorus)
There's a world for us to find
far beyong the rainbow's (light/line?)
with new horizons everyday
and love to guide us all the way
eternally
eternally

15
Make poop, not war.

Attention Lorenzo Van Tango and Dr. Osev!

We, the young Fillon couple, cordially invite you to join us in the Phililppines over the summer. Jay has agreed to be our tour guide, and has kindly suggested I invite my "Joes" (which is pinoy slang for "Americans" apparently).

I know it's kinda out there, but I'd love for you guys to come. Jay is going to be pretty busy with the band, and I'll be working as the photographer only during the actual concerts. I'd love for you guys to be with me during my first visit there. It would mean a lot. Obviously, I understand that you all have plans for the summer, and Danielle is a working stiff now and Laurence has a lot on his plate with graduation and surgery. But know that the invitation is open. *goofy grin*

I chase you. You chase rain.

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Note to self: Empty.

The next line in the song is, "Running on bravado." It's kinda emo at first, but then it goes on and well what do you know, it's about the Bush administration.

This is an English band, but that's just a speck of dust on the beach compared to the gazillion American bands that have had something to say against Bush in the last five years or so. Yes, the American public seems to have come to the general consensus that the world hates Bush, and that he is an idiot with poor speaking skills, atrocious grammar and a political agenda that would drive me to the crazy house.

But who voted for him in the first place?

And who though it wasn't in the least bit tasteless to make a movie about assasinating him?

So wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully pretty...

We watched a video today in one of the artistic forms of expression classes. I wasn't in the class, but I knew there was going to be something interesting going on there, so I went. Then we watched a fifteen minute video of a guy's hands. Just two hands, someone's pair of hands. The right hand made a fist, then the left hand pointed a finger. Then the guy proceeded to put his finger in and out of the little hole made by his fist. This was a fifteen minute long video. He altered speed, force, camera angles, but the gist remained the same throughout.

And someone called this "art".

And that motherfucking makes me sick.

Dear Hero,

I found a picture of you accidentally on my computer today, and spent the majority of my computer graphics class making an illustration of you. It was fitting that soon after, we were asked to think of a poem and I thought of one of yours. We had a small typography assignment where we used text to visually represent a poem. You know how it is, practice your spacing, your apple tools and your colour coordination. Use the hierarchy. This is training for commercialization, how to make something show something even though all you have are words.

I thought it was very contradictory, Hero. How can they expect us to NOT be expressive with words? Aren't words the fundamental forms of expression? In our critical viewing of even images, our responses are always in words. Aren't words just that important?

So I decided to make my photography final about something to do with words. I made contact sheets of myself writing backwards on a pane of glass and used a long shutter speed so that you could see the motion. I wrote things like "Hello" and "Bloop" and "Fajer", then I wiped it all off and wrote Shakespeare quotes. "I am a man more sinn'd against than sinning." "To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow." "What a piece of work is man! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?"

So you see, Hero, you live on through your words, and your words are beautiful, and my words are going to grow up to be just as beautiful someday. Until then, I need images to help me along.