formula 1, coming your way in bahrain! (hehehehe i said come)
i just got home from a night out with my dad. i had so much fun! we went to marina mall and studied the formula one car outside virgin. i learned so much from him, it's incredible. for instance, the car is made of carbon and titanium, the cheapest hting on it is the one of the front tires (which costs 600$) and that if you flip the wings over and shift the car to 3rd gear, it will actually fly. kick ass huh? even the bolts cost more than 600$ each, they're made of 100% solid pure titanium. then we went to virgin's thatres and started analyzing their sounds systems (which are trash by the by) while relaxing on the couches. fun. we had dinner and he dropped me home, and i had such a great time. i feel good. and then...

kill bill
nice movie, so empowering. i liked Gogo best... ok that's done. and then (fredubine, you got me saying that too much!) i made a saint anger cover for my fone! i'm so proud of it, i spent all morning making it. mazen left htis morning, and i feel so responsible, i called his cab, i gave the directions, i packed and checked his tickets and passport. yay me! and then, shaimah spent the whole day with me, it was so much fun! i (heart) that girl i swear! oooh i was writting after lunch today, i was ON A ROLL. i haven't been this inspired in a long ass time, and i let it all out! the story's turning out great, choppy but great. i'm jsut working on events right now, but i wanna emphasize emotional response more than visual imagery. instead of using words like "red" i'm using words like "bright" and instead of calling something "stern" i'm calling it "intimidating" and i feel so blessed. so far i got 2 chapters down, and i'm already halfway through the 3rd one. i like my character, i think that's the best part. she's so earthy, and i never thought in a million years i'd be able to write a romance! I AM WRITTING A ROMANCE! wow.... and it's turning out real nicely, too. i'm so proud! nothing this good has come out of my head since MARK. although i came close to writting a romance with DOWN TO EARTH, but that was more obsessive desire than romance really... it was child's love. this is the real thing. i'm pouring all i learned from scottie in this, and it's different writting about love now that i know what it's like to BE in love. one of hte many things i thank scottie for. yesterday, dan was talking to me, and he started saying all this wonderful stuff about me that i can't eve nremember, but i remember how much it reminded me of scottie, and how i came so close to actually calling him that several times. poor guy, i've done that enough times already God knows. it was nice though, and i felt at peace. it was like scottie wasn't gone at all, but he was there in all these people i knew and all these words i wrote, and i didn't miss him in that achey helpless way i usually do. so i have dan to thank for that. he let me wake up for a morning without that desperate compulsive need to cry out his name. so today's been a good day for me. unfortunately i can't say the same for zach. apparently his best friend passed away and i jsut feel so bad. he called a while ago to ask about a girl his friend was dating, and i was mad because he never calls unless he wants something, and fara7 just told me his friend died and i feel so bad... i wanted to yell at him because he wanted me to tell him if some girl was good looking or not and i told him i didn't know. ok, i'm gonna stop blogging cuz this is just too long... and then...

double-headed coin
stakes are high in our global casino
place your bets for the gamble of life
child's games are of utter importance
if someone must lose so that someone can win
dirt cheap tricks will make you gold
sneak a peak at the forbidden
the only way you'll make your living
is if it's not right, if it's a cheat, if it's a sin
i could be like you, and make me rich
bet on the constant win
i'll be as rich, as powerful
as sinful as the rest of you if only i willed
but even when you flip your double-headed coin i'll call tails
i win

the bar's dead...
and the rocket's rain is keeping you wet in your deathbed... i think thats the most beautiful line ever written by the deftones. hmm.... and then i bought st. anger! yay! and then i bought wuthering heights! again yay! i had so much fun today. i went to barney's for a while, and we hung out and talked and played with my NEW FONE *so happy* then andy came over and we were stupid for a while. i took a picture of her boobs! boobies! hahahaha! ok the moment's passed. and then, we went to marina mall with YOUR MOTHER. andy was upset because she couldn't find her apocalyptica dvd but then barney bought her a guitar thong and she felt better. and then, we went to THE ONE and had some food, before saleem got there to pick us up and started yelling at us for making him wait. andy kissed me before i got out of the car! she's never done that before! i (heart) you andy! yay! and then... yeah YOUR MOTHER picked me up and took me n mazen out to dinner at RITZ, which was fun. i didn't really eat anything, but it was still nice to go someplace classy for a change. and now i'm home, blogging about all this. and then..... there's no more and thens.... OH i'm gonna get barney to buy me that bra i wanted for my birthday because i'm way too cheap to buy it on my own! and andy, get me the matching underwear! oooo i love her red cords. got to get me some of that. God bless Sears! woohu! and then....

I'M HOME!
i'm home i'm home i'm home! yaaaaay! and OH. MY. GOD. can i gasp for breath? i had fun. not because of familia (as if), not because of shopping, but because i met the most beautiful woman in the world, (next to liv tyler ofcourse) and wow... the whole ten days were like magic. i met her thursday and we danced the whole wedding through, and she held my hand and we GRINDED LIKE FUCK and she had the cutest habbit of bitting the side of her lower lip when she really got into the dance which made me go wild but nevermind that... it was incredible, after the wedding she took me to this place called the (get this) 49ers club and steakhouse. 49ers are my team. coincidence? totally not. we met up again at the next party, and danced our asses off there too, and times when we'd get real close so it was nice and sticky, in all our wedding skimpy outfits n gear. at the second party, we hooked up at the kitchens and started making out. wow... seriously, no other word to describe it. wow.... we started taking pictures of one another on her fone, and then took some of us to gether. i told her to temail them to me so *crosses fingers* i'm expecting to hear from her. at the third and final party, yesterday on thursday, we went all out. we danced until we couldn't move our legs, then hooked up again in the bathrooms, and we started talking, and when they passed around the wedding cake, we fed one another whipped cream off our fingers. it was one of the best nights of my life. i spent the night at her hotel room, and when it was morning and i ahd to go, i felt like my heart was being broken. i miss her already, and i've only been gone a couple hours. she's got the most beautiful lips, the rosiest cheeks, the smoothest stomach, the roundest hips... she was literally drop dead sexy gorgeous. i'm glad to be home with my friends and my brother and my cat, but i still miss her like hell and a big part of me wishes i were still with her. i can't stop thinking about her, i just can't, her body, her face, her style, she just makes me wanna claw my way through a million walls to get at her. she's like magic.. i'll stop rambling about the second most beautiful woman in the world now...

victorious!
YES! VICTORY! I GOT ONLINE! I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT! YES YES YES YES! now that i got THAT out of my system i have to say OH MY GOD andy i met the "don't be nervous" guy! i call, and i tell him the internet's a right whore, and it's always busy, and he goes "ok don't be nervous with me, not my broblem the telefoon is bizzy bizzy all the time!" i started laughing right there and then, with him sitll on the fone, and in the end i just had to go "you're useless" and hang up. ok that story's done...

exams are over! WOOHU! i don't care how i did altho conway told me i got a 92% on my production book so YES! all i care about is i'm done for a semester thank God for small favors.

shaimah's back! big big BIG WOOHU for her because i ahven't seen her since fuckin summer and i missed her so baaaad and she just called out of no where and i was like "oh my God" over n over again for like an hour. hanging out with her was great, just like old times.

i'm leaving tomorrow which is NOT good thing, because i never got to see shaimah again before i elft and i didn't see andy or fredubine and i never got that last kiss and i'm just sooo not ready to go yet but my stupid lesbian cousin is getting married on thursday and since it's past midnight it's like wednesday already so yeah i'm leaving TODAY, bah... i get to come back on the 2nd though so that kicks ass (hehehe i said come).

and then, i wasted my entire morning running from hospital to hospital. i had to get a blood test, and my responsiveness to the iron was not good enough which is why my heart's been all fucked up lately, and my "rapid wieght loss" *proceeds to roll eyes* made them put me back on the multi-vitamin tablets. i feel like i'm right back where i started from, which i didn't like when i started and i don't like now. bah

and this digicam is such a cheap piece of shyt. seriously, all my pictures are out of focus and dark. bah. guch mayness. and then... i odn't know... ok i think i'm out of things to say...

oh no i'm not! my husband said he was oging to look for "Wide Seragasso Sea" for me hwile he was in London, which means he's gonna be htinking baout me while he's gone, and then he touched me! he put his arm around me and said i should have a great holiday! yay! i'm so happy! i'm so in love! i'm so pathetic...

NOW i'm out of things to say...

MUSE MADE A COVER OF THIS SONG! IN YOUR FACE A7MAD!
ok, i'm over yesterday, and i'm hungry as fuck. barney n i just ordered hotdogs and chicken wings from NEW YORK FRIES, i'm such a yankee. i'm gonna have by the end of my freshmen year at college, an arab, brittish, french new yorker accent. i will become IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND! sounds like fun... i want saturday to come (i said cum hahahaha) and the exams to be over iwth and i wanna let off all this steam! BAAHHHHHH! and then...

this. is. no. ordinary love. no ordinary love...
my shoulder burns. i just purged for fifteen minutes straight and no one at barney's noticed. i think i might start starving myself again. i'm not right in the head this weekend, it's been a hard night for me and my head hurts. i wanna go binge and purge, it's the only thing that'll make this easier for me. i'm sorry, but i have to do this. i'm sorry i'm not as strong as i'm supposed to be, i'm sorry i'm not as hapy as i should be. i feel sick right here...

who?
i'm at barney's! YAY! i'm gonna spend the night here and YAY! and we're tiny *rolls eyes* YAY! EXAMS! BAH! must rest, must eat and sleep, because oh my God they hate us and are trying to punish us! this is judgement i swear! but we're halfway done s othat's good.. i kinda wish we could just finish em tomorrow and get it over with, but weekend so yeah... i dont wanna leave on the 24th for the stupid family wedding and strap myself into a shoulderless, strapless, tube dress and high heels! so annoying! i wanna stay here with barney and andy and blag! i wanna stay here and dress like normal people! i wanna go with barney to khairan! stupid family, goes n gets married... so yeah, and then school is "so paranoid they're right" there is no privacy there i swear! it's like they know and they occupy the auditorium on purpose now! ok i'm done for now. and then, i feel like chinese...

happy birthday mr. president...
the last time i had a birthday party i was 6. the last time i even got a cake (also the last time my parents remembered my birthday) was when i was 9. and now suddenly i have blag promising to give me a sweet sixteen! i don't think i can remember what to do on a birthday if i tried. that and, compared to last year, any birthday would be amazing (any birthday where i don't spend it in jail would be amazing i should say). so yay i'm getting a real birthday, first real one in ten years! i feel so old saying that... woohu!