Quotes from the last Marking Period
3/23
“Man I didn’t name him, I just said ‘he’s dead.’” – Norm Cole

“The male reproductive system.” – Mr. Reed
“That’s my favorite system.” – Kate

3/24
“You’re kinda lucky I wore pants today.” – Mitch Armstrong

“People are too happy these days.” – Stacy Cain

“Your butt smells nice, Neilee.” – Courtney Rae

3/25
“I bought a video game you had in your crotch.” – Phil Maas (Himself)

“You’ve gotta draw the line between creepy and romantic.” – Stephanie Lewis

3/26
“I’d kill myself before I let you kill me.” – Gus Dahl

3/27
“Get your racial slangs right, ya dirty Jew.” – Mitch Armstrong

“I’ll straddle your face.” – Mitch

“I get your cooter, Matt gets your mouth, so if I make you scream, you’ll bite his off.” – James Golden

3/29
“I think we should have ‘Bring a Knife to School Day’ and ‘Fake a Race Day.’” – Stacy Cain

“Whoever’s throwing jellybeans needs to stop. It’s very immature.” – Kim Carter
“I think it’d be more immature if we were throwing babies.” – Emily Rowe

“It pains me to listen to her talk.” – Kate

“Wrinkled Old Testicle…” – Brad Blair
“What are you doing?” – Kate
“ROTC!” – Brad
“Wrinkled doesn’t start with an R.” – Jay Ruster
“..oh yeah.” – Brad

3/30
“You don’t have child-bearing hips.” – Courtney Rae
“What’s that?” – Brittany Mathews
“Hips.. for bearing children..” – Emily Rowe

“Be a patriot, kill a priest.” – Kate

“Homolicker.” – Kaylen Merlington

“Every time I draw two circles next to eachother, you guys automatically think testicles.” – Fournier

“I’ve got the richest bum in this place.” – Stephanie Lewis

“Mr. Carr’s watching me stroke my nipple, thanks.” – Stephanie Lewis

3/31
“Damn those pissin’ pink bunnies on the fuckin’ ceiling.” – Kate

“Procrastination and masturbation are both fun, until you realize you’re only fucking yourself.” – Stephanie Lewis

“Seriously, he goes from his normal red, to dark red, to dark dark purple. If I was him, I’d paint my room red, and.. hide in it.” – Tyler Metzger

4/4
“I like to open my mouth for a lotta meat.” – James Golden

“Man, I gonna cut you so bad man.. that, you, you gon wish I didn’t cut you so bad, man.” – James Golden

4/12
“What would everyone say if I had a restaurant called The Big Dick? They’d say, ‘The bratwurst there is great’ and ‘I go there for the sausage!’ We’d serve pickles and sausage with bananas on the side. And guys in speedos will serve.” – Mrs. Olsen

4/15
“It’d be really cool if I were a chair.” – Tim Rafferty

“If I was a chair, I’d be a toilet.” – Emily Rowe

4/18
“I should die. I really want to.” – Becky Visser

4/20
“Hopefully you guys get this, otherwise my life is useless.” – Mrs. Olsen

4/21
“Josh doesn’t feel it.” – Kaylen Merlington
“Yeah, because you’ve always got your hand up his butt.” – Neilee Metzger

“Everybody loves me; I’m beautiful, I’m vibrant, I’m absolutely gorgeous!” – Jake Shain

“So I smoke pot, what are you gonna do about it?” – Heather Fitzgerald

“I had a straw in my mouth and CJ put the other end in his mouth and took it out, and when he did, I got some of his spit in my mouth.” – Stephanie Lewis

“Suddenly, I feel like taking my pants off.” – Jeremy W.

4/22
“I’ve got a tub of organs on me so I can’t move.” – Kaylen Merlington

“Saying ‘ow, my spleen!’ is so much cooler than saying ‘ow, my small intestine.’” – Bill Korb

“Hey we found the first penis of the day!” – Fournier

“Life is too short to be nice.” – Jay Ruster

“I hope she bursts into flames.” – Dustin Cain

“There are 3 Kims. 2 are blonde barbies, and I’m the dark-haired cow. Of course I was the smartest, but where’d that get me? With you.” – Mrs. (Kim) Olsen

4/23
“We instigated a retard fight last hour.” – Jay Ruster

“Hellfuckinshitassyeah.” – Brad Blair

“I would literally shit my pants if one retard jacked another in the face.” – Jay Ruster

“King Kong aint got shit on Godzilla.” – Jay Ruster

“Look, it’s a gathering of fat bitches.” – James Remiro

“Sperm lip gloss.” – Brad Blair

“Go do something you’re good at, like killing Jews.” – Kevin Cuppett

“You know how much spit I’ve wasted talking to you? *pretends to spit *That much.” – Brittany Toft

4/26
“You gotta be there for your friends, even when they start barfin’, you gotta be there for ‘em.” – Jeff Warner

“Folks, I’m about to lay down the smack.” – Fournier

“I’m stressed to the max; I have a German in my house.” – Josh Farrel

“I think Jessica just licked Marissa’s nipple.” – Emily Rowe

“You should quote me saying nipple.” – Emily Rowe

“Nipple.” – Emily Rowe

“If you guys are gonna talk, I’m gonna rip out your tongues.” – Mrs. Olsen
“Is that a threat?” – Zach Ebenstein
“It’s a promise.” – Mrs. Olsen

“I play ‘What’s In My Mouth’ in math.” – Stacy Cain

“I told him he got hit by the ugly stick twice.” – Stacy Cain

4/27
“Gee wiz, meat.” – Tim Rafferty

“Look at that old man, do you think he gets any?” – Kaylen (Jennifer) Merlington

“She doesn’t like me anymore because I don’t believe that she has a demon vampire imaginary friend.” – Tim Rafferty

“I’m gonna write erotic porn when I get older.” – Kate

“Stop screwin’ Kate!” – Jacqui DeFouw

“Ahhhhhh! It got in my cut! Your deodorant got in my cut!” – Stacy Cain
“Suck on it!” – Matt Whetzel
“It tastes like… EWW!” – Stacy

“Do you want some sandwich with your condiments?” – Stephanie Lewis

4/29
“It’s like a sex sandwich.” – Will Tobashka

“Who’re you going out with?” – Amanda Bigney
“Yeah, what’s his name Zach?” – Tim Rafferty
“Dick.” – Zach Ebenstein

“They should kill all the fat ugly people, except me.” – Tim Rafferty
“You’re not fat.” – Kate

“This is like the breakfast club.” – Neilee Metzger
“You should put lipstick on with your boobs.” – Ron Wheaton

4/30
“I have half a cat in Mr. McDonald’s room. I can go get it.” – Emily Rowe

5/2
“There’s Cyclopes, let’s trip her.” – Matt Whetzel

5/3
“I’ll touch your leg all I want.” – Kate
“Then I’ll play with your pants all I want.” – Brandon Haney

“I thought you said, ‘I’ve got too much cum in my dick.’” – Brad Blair

“I thought you said something about a holy dick.” – Stephanie Lewis

“I betcha Hazel’s an anal guy.” – Jay Ruster

“You should totally stab her in the face with a soldering iron.” – Jay Ruster

“Suck my balls, smoke my pole, lick my dirty butt hole.” – Brad Blair

“If I find a bug, can I keep it?” – Logan

“Whatever lights your fire.” – Mr. McDonald

“I’m such a non-conformist, I’m not gonna drive on the road.” – Matt Whetzel

“You’re constipating.” – Stacy Cain

“You little dyke-bombin’ son of a bitch.” – Matt Whetzel

“Stacy, if I wanted any comeback from you, I’d wipe it off your cheek.” – Matt Whetzel

“Can you imagine a giant douche bag just running around?” – Stacy Cain

“You son of a bitch, you’re never touching my tampon again.” – Matt Whetzel

5/4
“I can’t wait for the Vietnam War.” – Gus Dahl

“Stop trying to unbutton my pants.” – Kate

“Well, ya see, when you leave a bicycle pump out in the rain, overnight, well.. you know.” – Tom Maynard

5/5
“You get outta bed, you get on the pot. Yep, that’s how it was back in our day. You got on that cold pot whether you hadta go or not.” – Neilee’s G-Ma

“I’m dumbass-intolerant.” – Kate

“I remember tasting you, and you were very bland.” – Mitch Armstrong

“I love things in my shirt.” – Kaylen Merlington
“I love the things in your shirt too.” – Tim Rafferty

“Take off your pants.” – Tim Rafferty
“You horny little devil.” – Courtney Rae
“That’s sexual harassment, don’t say that.” – Mrs. Crowley

“All I heard was ‘a prostitute, a monkey, and a fish.’” – Mrs. Crowley

“If you watch TV a lot, you get big boobs.” – Mrs. Olsen

5/7
“Not everyone wants to have sex with Becky, even though she begs.” – Erika Childs

“Come to us, Cancer Lump.” – Matt Whetzel

“I’m excited because I’m fat and I like doughnuts.” – Emily Rowe

“He’s a man-whore with a small penis.” – Courtney Rae

“I gotta tinkle like a homo in labor.” – Stephanie Lewis

“Does the gortex really help against the burritos?” – Mitch Armstrong

5/10
“I talked to a squirrel! I swear to my gosh!” – Erika Childs

“We don’t want to hear about your big poop.” – Mitch Armstrong
“But it was huuuuge! Like a loaf of garlic bread and 3 pretzels worth.” – Kevin Cuppett

“Yeah, I do that all the time, I make peoples’ nipples dance.” – Neilee Metzger

“There was this lady and she weighed like 700 pounds. She had this burning sensation in her arm, so she went to the doctor. He pulled up one of her flabs of fat and there was a twinkie in there, molding. It was turning into a mold that was burning her skin.” – Alyssa Cole

I had a dream about your mom’s hot naked body last night.” – Stephanie Lewis

“I squeezed his butt and it started flowing through my hands.” – Stephanie

“That’d be full of ball-licking goodness.” – Jay Ruster

“I look like a cow. I look like the centerpiece that everyone sits around at dinner.” – Michelle Hawley

“What, did I impregnate a woman?” – Erika Childs

“She called me a hefty dodo.” – Becky Visser

“We talked about the special place between ladies’ legs.” – Mrs. Olsen

“She’s got this new fantasy where she comes out wearing my clothes.” – Mrs. Olsen

5/13
“Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.” – Brandon Haney

“My dog gives me a boner.” – Jay Ruster

“All bodily fluids go on the kleenex.” – Bus Driver

“One day she walked into me and she’s like, ‘hello, I’m walking here,’ and I’m like, ‘hello, you’re fat.’” – Tyler Metzger

“Wanna chew my shirt?” – Amanda Bigney

5/14
“Hey, let’s see who can imitate a tire!” – Kate

“Save a tree, eat a beaver.” – Brandon Haney

“Will you pull my pants down?” – Kate

“Hey look, you’re spinning negro humor all over.” – James Golden

“This sounds like worms smashing up against smushy stuff.” – Stacy Cain

“Hey everybody! I got hit in the face!” – Stacy Cain

“I’d go up to someone and be like ‘I play the piccolo’ and they’d be like ‘you should’ve picked the cello’ then I’d be like ‘I didn’t pick the piccolo’ and pull out a cello.” – Stacy Cain

“I hope both of you die.” – Dustin Cain

“I had a dream today about ponies playing flutes.” – Stacy Cain

“He’s not the pokemon master, he’s the pokemon god.” – Dustin Cain

“Do I need to give you The Talk?” – Kate
“Yes, then we can watch it on video.” – Stacy Cain

“The carpet smells like peaches. Moldy ones.” – Stacy Cain

“Let’s all be dramatic because we’re just so good at it.” – Stacy Cain

“When we get older, we’ll get an apartment together.” – Kate
“And we can make gingerbread men.” – Stacy

5/16
“Hey Kate?” – Stacy
“What?” – Kate
“You’re fugly.” – Stacy

5/17
“Hey yo, honky honk.” – Courtney Rae

“Why does she make us eat this stuff?” – Ashley
“Because it’s poison and she likes to do us in our sleep.” – Neilee Metzger

“I wanna have sex with this room it smells so good.” – Courtney Rae

“I feel like I’m eating fetal pigs.” – Alyssa Cole

“Why do you wear your blingbling?” – Fournier
“To attract boys.” – David Cook

“Nasty girls don’t have boyfriends.” – Fournier

“He’s always yelling at me for humping Tony.” – Brad Blair

“I think it’s my God-given right to hump other men.” – Jay Ruster

5/18
“I wish I had a plunger to play with.” – Kate

“I’m not a pansyass little fucktart.” – Tom Maynard

“I’m gonna stick this down my dog’s throat and wrap his intestines around the spoon. People’ll be like, ‘woo, look, intestines on a spoon!’” – Stacy Cain

“I enjoy talking to myself, I’m the only who listens.” – Emily Shneider

5/20
“You were choking her with your nipple.” – James Golden

“I try to be as homosexual as possible when I give these quizzes.” – Fournier

“So yesterday I told my mom I wanted a PHD in Mexican Porn School. She told me to shut up.” – Stephanie Lewis

“I wish hairy balls were here. I could go for a nut lickin’ right now.” – Jay Ruster

“I love to squirm while I’m makin’ bacon.” – Kate

“What color are your nipples?” – Emily Rowe
“He’s a pinky.” – Brad Blair

5/21
“The ugliest wins.” – Mrs. Crowley
“I wanna play.” – Emily Rowe

“We’re all dying dogs on the inside.” – Kate

“What if my pants just disintegrated?” – Neilee Metzger

“He’s an assbutt.” – Brad Blair
“Is that the same thing as a penisdick?” – Michelle (Mishy) Fraser

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” – Kate
“Your mom.” – Stacy Cain

5/24
“So Penny and I were playing Snugglebugs last night and she fuckin’ threw up all over my floor.” –Jay Ruster

“My hands are stickier than an erect horse penis.” – Jay Ruster

“See, I told you I was a faggot.” – Stacy Cain

“I’m so fascinated with my mouth. I love putting things in it.” – Stacy

“It’s been in my mouth, but what hasn’t?” – Phil-Himself

5/25
“I flap my back skin on his face.” – Stephanie Lewis

“Don’t you hate when you forget what you’re wearing?” – Brandon Haney

“How come I’m last?” – Brandon Haney
“You’re first in backwards land.” – Alyssa Cole

“Holy shit, you’ve got projectile semen.” – Stephanie Lewis

“You think Kate’s mom is hot. We were on the phone and you told me all the nasty little secrets of what you want to do to every crevice of her hot, oily body.” – Stephanie Lewis

“Does your grandma wear diapers?” – Kate
“No, but I wish she would. She pees all over the place like a dog.” – Neilee Metzger

5/26
“What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? *pause * ..How do we find the egg in all this crap?” – Neilee Metzger

5/27
“It was orgasm good.” – Stephanie Lewis

“I don’t know if it’s a good thing, or if it’s a bad thing, but it’s a thing.” – Reyburn

“I never read the newspaper.” – Neilee Metzger
“It’s too small of print.” – Ronnie-Jonnie Wheaton

“We can steal my grandma’s wheelchair and go ridin’.” – Neilee Metzger

“I like to shock people, but they never get shocked. I think they all think I’m a horrible person.” – Lorrie Shelton (Kate’s mom)

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” – Kate
“The penguin outside. He says he doesn’t like you.” – Stacy Cain

“I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out, I’m cracking out.. etc” – Stacy Cain

5/29
“I think guys should have to squirt shit out of their penises for a week.” – Mishy

“I’m not tearing open my vagina, I’ll adopt.” – Mishy

“What did you think was gonna happen; your spine was gonna jump out and say, ‘Hi, I’m a spine!’” – Stacy Cain

6/1
“Don’t call me hot with my pants off.” – Erika Childs

“Shut up, Stupid. I hate you, why don’t you understand that? I don’t like you!” – Erika Childs

“My mom found these old Halloween horns and put them on her head and she was like ‘Hey Ronnie, I’m horny.’” – Ron Wheaton

“It’d be funny if people had windows on their body.” – Rohnny-Johnny Wheaton

“He’s got himself convinced that his penis is huge because he’s always looking at it through a magnifying glass.” – Matt Whetzel

6/3
"You're a Gangsta-Jew." - Jake Stanton

"It doesn't say my name on that penis." - Stephanie Lewis

"Crystal SkankBurger's got a camera." - Stephanie Lewis

"I'll put my pants on later." - Stacy Cain


And now.. I dub this the best quote from last 9 weeks, said on May 27th:

"It's a big scary monster wrapped in plastic waiting to attack you with its wicked white cream." - Stacy Cain

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