I found some of my old writings... o.o;;
Constructive criticism, please?

Fear
As I look into your eyes, all I see is pain,
A chill of forsaken fear races down my spine,
Why am I scared of you? It's such a shame,
Am I scared of what might be going through your mind?

I stand- silent
The distant sound of rain,
I could stay here forever- violent
But all I'd feel was pain...

And all these things I'm feeling
Have all balled up inside
Some wounds are beyond healing,
I feel so alone... I'm barely alive.

I can't hold back these tears
That have gathered up all these years...
And I don't want you to see
The pain it is to be me

Diseased
This feeling can only be described,
As the shadow of something inside of me;
A sillhouette of something that died.
And I've been here before, too many times.

I feel it coursing through me-
This poison in my veins.
I should be used to it by now,
But it's driving me insane.

Now I may be young,
And I might not know much.
But I know what it feels like,
When words hurts more than any punch.

I know there's got to be something more,
But I'm through with searching for the answers.
Because I'm sick of this feeling
That is spreading through me like a cancer.
[Not finished.]

Torn
Go ahead- Rip me open.
Fill the wounds with salt.
Watch me stand here- choking,
Knowing it's all your fault.

Go ahead- Make me bleed to death.
Mangle me; pick me apart.
And before my one last breath,
Visciously lacerate my heart.
[Not finished.]

Resurrected
It's just an urge you can't resist
When you place the blade against your wrist
The realease it brings is just sweet bliss
But the scars you see, they cannot miss...

Close your eyes; dissappear.
Your thoughts are filled with hate and fear
You scream out loud, but no one can hear.
Down your cheek rolls a silent tear.

This pain is so difficult to fight
It's getting hard to sleep at night
You feel like nothing you do is right,
So just close your eyes, close them tight...

You're safe from all of that here...
Here in my arms, dear.


Meh. Not my best work... But... Bleh. I donno.
Comment?

1 Sweet Scent | Smell the Pretty Flowers