language lab
yup hello...am in the vernon hills high school language lab...tis a joy to be looking up shit on norse mythology. o well...i like latin! yup. and spanish....jackei and i have to get together to finish that...::sigh:: at least am done with lit and history. um...i have loads of math to do but i left it in the room! arg...i took jens hmwk to the office cuz her knee hurts...um...last night...katherine if you want me to un-post this tell me. but yesterday charlie and i went out to find a present for katherine so that he could ask her out. yup twas adorable. so we ended up at build-a-bear and got her a bear wiht a pink shirt that we wrote "k, go out w/ me?" on the front and "::heart:: charlie" on the back...yup...and we drove to her house cuz he didnt want to go alone...and gave it to her! yup...then an hour followed of nervous, con-fuse-ed-ness...yes'm! but they solved it, cuz katherine only thought of him as a friend and obviously charlie didnt think of her that way...so yup! um...tmro is thanksgiving! woo...then saturday is my mums party so after school ama take jen some caribou coffee and then ama go shopping with my dad for party supplies...we already bought her a tv to screw with her brain and we are going to be like "we wish you'd let us have a party! we really wanted to but we didnt want to piss you off!" yup...twill work...wont suspect a thing. yup. la la la. i dont like the lady in here.. although shes okie right now...







la la la am not doing anything...i shud go...do norsey stuff...byedy

BRRRR!!!
so this morning i woke everyone up by jumping around saying "its snowing its snowing its snowing!" that was the first thing i checked and it made my day...then it only got better wehn i walked outside of the hotel to hear the town bells, which ive always wanted to hear church bells in the morning, so it was beautiful to me. yea, too bad we dont have church bells around here. yup, i was in peoria for the IDEA confrence. it was loads of fun. i relaly liked the speakers and running around wiht sandy and jen was fun, and thankies sandy for our talk. yup... two of the speakers i really liked, one of which i thought was awesome, or amazing in sandys words. he made me cry because so much of it came so close to home that it was in the room next door. yup. and then on top of it, you know so many people who you can say have been effected by one of the things he said, and you can tell the person next to you, and they could relate...but he had nearly everyone, save about twenty people standing, saying that they knew soemone who had been affected by alcohol in that way. then there was this other guy, and he gave straight facts...and pictures...his speech was long but informative. yes...i liked them...the other lady was...eh...yea...

but i come home, and again my dad starts talking about my mums fucking party. i havent written much in here about it, but i hear about it every night. granted, hes excited and its getting close, but theres only so many times you can discuss the same thing, so i told him so and he wasnt happy about that...o well, ::tear tear:: then my mum came home...from elaines. "oo lets talk and cuddle and be best friends, something i normally cant tear myself away from my tv or anything else for" she tells me to tell her about it. so i do...well if you all know my mum, she is the epitome of an advocate for what idea was against... just in case youre clueless, idea stands for Illinois Drug Education Alliance. yup...so...i start telling her, and i go in order. well i start telling her abot uthe factual guy, and telling her info...well in the middle of it she gets up and walks away...in a very sullen, pissed off voice "i have to go make dinner" o joy...you arent pissed off atme at all...she replies im not i have to make dinner so wahteer....then dad comes up.."whatd you do to piss her off now?" i told him just what i told you, that she asked and i told. and hes like you know im no saint either and we all do things we shouldnt like my skydiving. am like whats your point? that its dangerous and could klll me...am like so? he was trying to tell me that his skydiving and go cart racing and shit is just as dangerous as drinking. i dont even knwo why he started this, its not like i was lecturing him or anything...and am like, no it isnt cuz you dont hurt me wehn you go skydiving. i dont want to hear his bullshit...am supposed to listen to him trying to reason the things that they dont want me to do? arrrrrrgggg it doesnt make sense to me...they dont understand my side of it. but oh well right...ill be gone in a few years, and my mumll most likely die before she gets a chance to see my kids at an age where they can realise who she is and miss her wehn she dies. it sounds mean, but its so true. am supposed to write my paper now...but i dont wnat to...i want to sleep its relaly cold in here. my fingertips are numb. sorry sandy and jen for annoying you guys on the bus...i wanted to talk so bad...i was hyper and wanted to do stuff and everyone wanted to sleep...ama go read...::sigh:: g'night.

yay sand!
sandy asked matt !!!! woo!...we are planning to go see cat and the hat tnt...but am going shopping for bday ness wiht dad for mum and then tmro ama go to idea...wiht sand and ill meet jen and jessica there woo! am not happy about my rooming...but oh well, sand and i'll party together, and jen and jessica too if they are in the same hotel. dads taking a shower now...but yea. um...ama drive....i drove loads today the stores are super packed..first we went to the bank which i am afraid of the same as parking spaces cuz i dont wanna hurt my car or curbs or any other cars....and then to best buy, where we returned this thing for comp and exchanged my cd player and bought speakers for my comP! woo! so now i can hear! and um...then we went to blockbuster to return movies and then to jo-ann to return stuff from my dress and get elastic for neils boxers for xmas...and then to walmart!
i got hats guys!

a white one
a gray one
a black one

well am leaving now! woo!

survies!

Which person comes to mind
best-friend:	two people relaly...
enemy:	dont have one...just people in disagreements
love interest:	you have to ask...neil
person you talk to when you're down:	loads of people.....mainly jen, trix or sand
person you try to avoid:	bonnie! that crazy druggie freshman!
person you haven't spoken to in a long time:	cathy :(
person that makes you made:	um...lisa.
someone you think is stupid:	stupid intellegence wise...jacqui wadler...otherwise..i dont know
a celebrity you wish u could meet:	brandon boyd, not only cuz hes hot...
person that cheers u up:	jen sometimes....i cant think of anyone else...
person who hates u:	thats an endless list
teacher that pisses u off:	MERTZ! LEARN TO TEACH!
person that pisses u off the most:	lol...loads of people...
person u wish u could spend more time with:	trix.

People brought to you by BZOINK!

survies!

People have you loved?:	none
People have you kissed?:	three
Commandments have you broken?:	probably half... the obeying parents and god in vain yea.. those
Places have you lived in (for over 3 months)?:	three
Countries have you been to?:	canada and mexico and caymen, which is britian territory
Languages can you speak fluently?:	engilsh, am learing spanish (am getting better) and latin
People are you talking to right now?:	trix
Times have you been in a car today?:	twice
Different kinds of meat have you eaten?:	all kinds even alligator!
Different kinds of liquor have you tasted?:	just vodka wine and beer.....i dont like alcohol...its bad.
Jobs you have held?:	babysitting and production services...
Years of school have you attended?:	thirteen, wiht kindergarten and preschool
Shows have you been to this month?:	um...nov...am going to one acts tnt...and i saw brother bear last week
Friends would you call "close"?:	two (you know who you are)

How Many.... brought to you by BZOINK!

survies!

What's a weird fear you have that no one else probably does?:	garbage disposal!
Is not Jon Stewart great?:	i dont know...dont watch tv
What song are you listening to?:	"poor unfortanate souls"
Best face wash/acne fighting product?:	um...dont need it...? apricot scrub, st. ives
How loud do you sneeze?:	like a little girl.
Do you like your handwriting?:	yes, its not girly.
Ugliest color you've ever seen?:	ooo theres this putrid brownish green...
Does having matching socks matter to you?:	sometimes, if the cuffs go up different lengths yea.
If you were in band, what would you call it?:	um...something with food.
Last time you were on a plane?:	i think last year @ xmas
Have a digital camera?:	a very bad stupid one that doesnt work
How big is your TV?:	big? 64" i think?
Have you ever heard of Mystery Science Theater 3000?:	no.
How many pillows do you sleep with?:	um..two...but loads on my bed
sXe.. good or bad?:	um..either i dont know what it is or i wouldnt know....lol
Most annoying commercail ever?:	that one on q101 thas the guy and gril for that one store
Lamest pick-up line ever?:	i cant think of one...although guys use them on me..stupid neil/hul/fritz.
Dumbest song ever?:	that one wiht the bad lyrics...lol
Worst way to die?:	at the hands of someone else.
Who's the funniest comedian?:	i like ellen degeneres...i dont care waht everyone else says.
Ever been in a car accident?:	yup...
Ever had braces?:	nope
Do you know HTML?:	mostly...cept pictures
What's the most useless class in school?:	government. most people arent involved and dont vote, or vote on stupid reasons...
Best Jones Soda flavor?:	um...havent had any lately...although i had this blue one once...
Something you collect?:	reciepts lol...no movie tickets
Something you're allergic to?:	everything...mostly cats and rabbits tho..
Something you wish would die?:	um...bad people.

[randomosity] brought to you by BZOINK!

survies!

Three things that scare me:
1:	garbage disposal
2:	bad drivers
3:	the dark (::shakes head:: am such a child)
Three people who make me laugh:
1:	jennifer
2:	trix
3:	charlie stone (o god)
Three Things I love:
1:	DOGGIES! (any animals)
2:	stuffed animals and blankies
3:	quotes and moralish stories
Three Things I hate:
1:	people who act all sad and tell you its nothing
2:	the ignorant and arrogant
3:	those who constantly put themselves down...no pride at all...
Three things I don't understand:
1:	depression, but i try so hard...
2:	music
3:	nearly everything...
Three things on my desk:
1:	nail polish
2:	candy wrappers
3:	stuffed doggie who smells really good
Three things I'm doing right now:
1:	typing
2:	itching (my head!)
3:	listening to disney
Three things I want to do before I die:
1:	skydive
2:	travel to see a good portion of the world
3:	become successful
Three things I can do:
1:	sleep
2:	get along wiht people (am okie...)
3:	i can sorta draw
Three ways to describe my personality:
1:	strange
2:	??
3:	um...
Three things I can't do:
1:	sports
2:	understand some stuff
3:	play basketball (for anything ask jen!)

Three Things brought to you by BZOINK!

funny story
yes...i have a funny story. i was going thru my mail and i had three that were newsletter shit...so i put them in a folder to unsubscribe and labeled it "shit" so then after i emptied it, it put up a message, "There are no messages in your shit folder." o gosh i laughed.

we can be heros...just for one day!
hello all. "you learn something new everyday" people hate the truth, the truth and change. yea...i dont think i have much more to say. but to listen to all those around you, because the second you do, they tell you more, and thye may be things that you need to know or that will help you in your future.

lit project
yea...i shud probably start on my lit project...jen am sorry i was not at art...i realised i had nothing to do. so i came to the library. yea...projects due on friday...need a poster, a paper, and a presentation! sandy you are complaining about gerber! ahh! so anyway...um...yes...sorry to all i was pissy to last night...including neil even tho he doesnt read this. yea...um....yea...just last night i was irritated...lisa finally dropped off my purse and i kinda yelled at myself...she takes everything the wrong way...i told her that if she wouldnt clean up she couldnt come back...so she dropped the purse at the door and left and i feel kinda bad. but at the same time what else am supposed to tell her...i told her like three times that i didnt hate her that wasnt the reason for writing the letter...well anyway...and then am tryign to get grades up...eh...too lazy but am trying. my grama yells at me...well not yell persay, more like LECTURE UNTIL AM ALL SMACKED UP OVER THE PHONE...but thats okie too. my mums something else just nagging at me. cuz its like she wants to be around me and be my best friend and la de da de da...which is all peachi, cept shes constantly around me and she wants me to tell her everything but she tells me nothing. i hate it. i dont like pouring my heart and soul out to anyone who doesnt respond to me. and the other way around am not fond of, but not so much a bother. i kinda wish my mum would get her own friends or a job or something of the sort...cuz i am going to get as sick of her as i am of neil. i dont even know if am sick of him in that hes always there...or if its something else... i dont know...but ill figure it out. thats why i havent solved it for you know who...its going to sit there until it is resolved...but until then there is no point in being a bitch to him; that would only confuse the hell out of him. yea...melissas sitting next to me answering the questions i posted a couple days ago...scroll down...they are all prettyful colours...hard to miss! woo! lata

the opposite of relaxing walk
as if i already wasnt pissed off enough, only wanting to walk in the rain for a tad bit of tranquility...my mother decides "im going to go with you" i told her only if she could walk far back from me...i didnt want her to talk..i wanted a quiet walk to think about anything...no..."look theres a hul" "its a goose" "jorie lets go home" fuck! arg...all jorie could think about is "you have your cigerettes to calm your nerves...or your drink...dad has his motorcycle and i have fuck all..." granted its ten thirty, but arrrrrrggggggg jorie cant go out, she cant take care of herself, but when mums drunk and angry...o shur go out.....same wiht dad....doesnt matter....if you die, so be it. jorie why didnt you tell me where you were going for a half hour?? you got me worried! well mother, now you know how i feel when you walk out fo the house drunk, prepared to drive angrily. gee...you could die and i wouldnt know til midnight or so. how nice. i am more anxious then i was when i left. fuck sleeping.

themes
hey guys...i found some pretty aim themes if you wanna look...some of them fit some of you guys

jen~ Click Here for My Blue Roses AIM Expression, Click Here for My Waterfall AIM Expression

yasamin~ Click Here for My Waterfall AIM Expression, Click Here for My Space AIM Expression

jill?~ Click Here for My oasis dream 3 AIM Expression, Click Here for My Pirates Jack Sparrow AIM Expression

trix~Click Here for My ive gone bananas AIM Expression

Click Here for My waterfall AIM Expression

Click Here for My Disney AIM Expression

Click Here for My Water AIM Expression

why are you hiding from the scars of your own reality
hi...so um...the story about babysitting..(jennifer skip this section) um...first when i got there, morgan and mackenzie were argueing and i told them to stop about ten times, then i told them they were going to not play that anymore if they kept fighting about it...and then they did again so i tld them to pakc it up and morgan started crying and threw herself into a pillow "i dont wanna talk" well hten you cant play either....lol whatever it was funny. then later on time for bed, megan was laying on the ground and i took the other girls to bed...she wouldnt get up so i just left her; little girls are scared of being alone. so then i went upstairs and the other girls were getting pajamas on and teeth brushed and i went downstairs...megan was laying on the stairs!.....???....shes like i wanna sleep on the stairs....am like...um...you have to brush your teeth and pajamas on first. shes like okie..then mackenzie and megan were still getting ready and morgan was done so i started tickling her and playing around. then the other two wanted to play so we did...then it was nine am like time for bed. so then they all got into bed save megan who went and layed on the stairs...am like...okie fifteen minutes. so i left her....five minutes later, morgan comes down "megans laying on the stairs" yes i know "how am i going to get up the stairs?" how idd you get down them? "well i went to the side and i was afaid i was going to step on her hair because i couldnt see her" go up the way you came dwon lol...o ::sigh:: then i went to put meghan into bed, and i heard voices and footsteps. so i went and am like morgan and mackenzie get into bed! then i went back downstairs....at nine thirty, i go up cuz i hear voices, and am standing at the door trying to figure out who it was....and mackenzie opens the door...am like hi...what are you doing out of bed? "megan has the radio on" megan why do you have the radio on? "cuz i like it.....and they like it too" girls do you want the radio on? ::both shake heads:: megan they dont want it on... ::she turns it down:: girls go to sleep!!! finally they shut up. i told thier mummy...she was pissed. ::sigh:: okie um...next story


yesterday I came home from jennifers and was like trix, wanna do something? And shes like yea (she was onlyn) but I have to wait for my parents to come home….am like okie….so I went to take a bath (mmm) it was warm and relaxing…..yes…..um. then katherine called once trix and I had decided that we were going to the library via her mum…katherine pickd me up and there were too many fines on trixs card so we couldn’t go to the library so then we watched ya-ya sisterhood after laughing at people in the yearbook. It almost made me cry! ::sigh:: then katherine had to leave and jackie called asking if we wanted to go see brother bear…I wasn’t too excited at first, I didn’t feel like doing much. But it was awesome I liked it loads! Go see it everyone! Then we got in the car and went to quiznos where lisa met us, and jessica came with her two sisters, but they were pissed cuz she claims jackie said shed sleep over, but jackie said she didn’t…so wahtever. Um…then we came to my house and lisa was looking through my journal (book) and it has nothing important so its on the floor you know? Like everything else. And I was meh ::shrugs:: then she opened up my binder of stuff from this year….cards drawings letters…..and I don’t care that she wsa reading the cards….but the letters I had just put in yesterday, that’s why it was still out. And hse read every one of them. This is the thing. People write about her….sometimes….but not a lot…so that’s like ….hmm no…and then they write stuff that she isnt supposed to know…shes pretty nosy, she wants to know everyting that’s going on…and that would be fine if she didn’t repeat to everyone else! Arg it drives me nuts…but I think that’s what she wants…like it stands out…then people are like lisa told everyone! Then she moved and I was like ahh…the light…you moved…..shes like you should get a shade…I had one but it broke…o you shud put…..the popcorn bag over it….am like…um…no…she did it anyway. ::sigh:: popcorn kernals…floor….oil….lightbulb…..smell….mess……aarrrrrrg…..i asked her to clean it up and she wouldn’t! but it isnt the first time! She leaves messes here all the time! I hate it…cuz okie my room is a mess….but candy wrappers arent smelling up the room because theyre burning on the light bulb and nothing is ruining my carpet! Arrg…she just left it. So I wrote her a note sayign that she wouldn’t be invited back if she keeps doing it. And she takes every thing as if people hate her…she loooks for stuff! So am like….i don’t hate you, never have , most likely never will…don’t think that…..its just that it bugs me. I don’t know about you, but I feel bad leaving my mess in other peoples houses…she doesn’t do it at her house tho! Everything is…clean up guys…I don’t want my mum to have to do it.. so yea….that’s my rant. :) um…then trix was sleeping over….and neil came over at midnight..what the hell??? So I was like okieeee….but then he left…..::Sigh:: I need to spend time away from him…I don’t even treasure him anymore. :( ::Sihg:: yea…um…so trix left and I finished neils boxers for his christmas present…um…yea…..um…christmas list is in process….:-D am excited for snowwwwwww! Yay! Okie bye bye….ama go read oliver twist. :)

the bath song
filling up the water the water the water filling up the water all the way it'll go...foaming up the bubbles the bubbles the bubbles foaming up the bubbles til it over flows...smelling up the bathroom the bathroom the bathroom smelling up the bathroom oh it smells so good (to tune of "following the leader") ummm

story!

so last night i was babysitting, more on that later...but heres a short story that i couldnt not laugh..lol

um...the three girls wanted to do soemthing so i was suggesting stuff ~is me * is morgan, the youngest, 6 and ^is mackenzie, the middle, 7

~what about barbies?
*no i dont like barbies at all.
~do you like polly pockets?
*yea i like them
^whats the difference?
* this is the difference
::moment of silence::
^what is it?
*im telling you! its because one has rubber clothes
~oh you like rubber clothes
*yea! i wish i had rubber clothes!!
following this was a discussion about how uncomfortable rubber clothes would be o god....::sigh:: twas funny

later, tho, megan, the oldest, 10 was running around gettin things then going back in the play room...
morgan asks "megan?"
she replies "what?! im trying to invent something!"

lol children are funny!

woooooooooo!
sooo i woke up at nine thirty or so...am at jennifers i never went home last night... i just went from babysitting...um...it smells like bubblegum! she just got out of her shower, which is the whole reason am on here in the first place...ummm....
la la la she said um...o god... i for-that i talk in my sleep! hehe trix knows that one well "picking grass". i coloured a sign for mr. carl sam plant, who by the way, is a girl! la la la! am sort of hyper...ooo last night, i was asking jen questions from the big book of IF and here ill write some...then ill tell you a story! ooo entry full of entertainment!...

if the genitals of the entire opposite sex were have the aroma of one food item, what would you pick?

if you could gain back all the hours you've spent in your life doing a certain thing, what would it be?

if you could remove one marking from your skin, which would it be?

if you had to eliminate one form of weather, which would it be?

if you were to name the greatest sexual advantage women have over men, what would it be?

if you could have a stranger come up to you and whisper anthing into your ear, what would it be?

if you had to choose the single most charming person you have ever met, who would win?

if someone you [go to school] with could have x-ray vision on you, who would you most hate it to be?

if you could have any view from your home, what would it be of?

if you could have anyone's eyes in the world, whose eyes would you choose?

okie thas all for now...jennifer is leaving so i have to go home :( i like it here. okie bye bye everyone!

swishy pants
lol sorry...someone just walked past with swishy pants lol twas funny. um...yup...in library. with melissa. yup. fun. no food. i want food. oo she gave me goldfish. hm. fun. i like chickens. the sun is out! it looks warm and pretty outside... but we all know the secrets of our vision...nerves and brain cells are two differnt things...okie so that didnt totally make sense...but its like 'your eyes are bigger than your stomach' :) for the remainder of thish entry, i will be ushing the cat from get fuzzy'sh lishp. tish entertaining and thish library (liberry for shome people) ish boring. yesh. i should talk like thish all the time. tish fun! ooo old guy! lol...omg theresh thish blue truck outshide. lol...ahh tish conroy! lol i am laughing shhooo hard right now! she shold shea shellsh by the shea shore...lol!!!!!!!!!!omg am shhooo done...melissha ish trying to figure out what am laughing at shooo hard...lol adioshhh!!!!!!!!

quick entry
um hi, this is going to be a quick update cuz i have to pee and i want to go play sims for a bit and i honestly dont want neil over (guys...i never want him over anymore, maybe cuz he's here too much...no one tell him that okie? you know who you are. yup) um...i just got an ikea magazine! woo! jill and trix and jennifer and sandy, my mum and i went to get patterns and look at fabric...there were ducks..and spongebob, and loads of cute fabric! um...okie i just got in a fight with my dad which is super stupid like...i dont know...ill put the letter that i just wrote to him and um...for background, he asked me if it was my time of the month; last night he got in an arguement with my mum about the movies and he got pissed cuz he didnt think she was going to take them back so he stormed in my room and asked me (i was laying down cuz i was tired) if i was going to watch the movie. i said id like to but not at the moment, and he replied in the morning? yes most likely...."well you wont be up" ::slams door::...how nice...yea...and then this...um...*caution* not kind fights :-D but no worries...am stronger :)

Dad,
The conversation started out as me asking you, “are you the one who washes the dishes like this” you replied “no”. Granted that is how you responded, I asked you, not knowing for sure, nor wanting to put the blame on anyone, to please be more thorough. That was the extent of the conversation. Then mum came in and asked what the bitching was about (yes I am using this language to repeat correctly what was said), and you replied, “she’s bitching at me for not cleaning”. That is not what I said and you know that clearly. But when I rebutted your response, you told me that I had not spoken nicely to you. When you walked away I asked you to please come back. You rammed you body against mine, obviously an unfair action. I pushed you back and you fell, probably cause of your alcohol consumption. When you got up, you began swearing at me and attempted to hit me, which mum didn’t want to stand for and told you so, when you hit her, I refused to let you get away with bringing her in for protecting me. I picked you up to stop you. You have no right to do that to her. I don’t care if you hit me, but you were drunk and you are not fair at all when you are so. You know that was entirely wrong. You ended up throwing the French fries at her and something else at me. You kept bringing up the fact that mum and I were fighting earlier. This is why that was different:

1. we did NOT throw anything at each other
2. we did NOT hit each other
3. we only exchanged words and eventually solved it

With you, there is no solving, because you change your story. If you are upset, you need to learn to calm yourself down, rather than hurt people and break things. Maybe put some time into an anger-control program. I understand you have your stress at work and you come home and want to relax, and family doesn’t always allow that. Sometimes, when I’ve had the roughest days at school, which is all I want as well. But the fighting still goes on.
Some nights, you come down after you have laid down to go to sleep, when mum and I are arguing, saying that you would like to sleep. You expect all to come to a halt because you need to sleep so that you may make money. Granted, but I need to sleep so that I may get grades so that I may graduate into college and eventually make money for myself. When I ask you guys to stop fighting, you always tell me (again with the language thing, but these are your words) “fuck off”, “fuck you”, and “shut the fuck up”. So if you’d, please review this letter and think about your actions before you do so again. It is very hard to keep a temper if you are being yelled at. I am the only one who can soberly remember this load, and I hope to continue to do so throughout my years, because I will not allow myself to be influenced by yours and mum’s crystal clear incapacity.

huh?
hey...just got home from babysitting...yup...thats ti....i watched the movie version of les mis....i was pissed....no eponine....um....yea.....


Your element is Earth. I hate to say it but you are
down to earth. Stubborn and loyal. You tend to
want to nurture others and you are the one
person friends always come to for awnsers.
Without people like you others would be flying
over the edge because, whether you know it or
not you keep a steady beat to your life and
will end up where you want to in the end. There
is a sureness about you that is hard to match
that draws people to you. No matter what
happens the Earth keeps turning.


What's your element
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