bathtub gin

:: 2005 10 January :: 10.42pm

I'm really a lot happier right now than I have been in a while.

Today wasn't the best, in fact it was pretty bad and I cried oodles of bunches, but I resolved a lot of issues that have kept me really sad/upset for over a month.

I think the best parts of the day were the ones when I realized just how much I love Nick: right after we resolved everything and talked and when we were singing in his car on the way home.

I usually don't sing in front of people.

I don't remember the last time I felt so calm. All my problems right now don't seem so important or huge anymore. I've put it all down.

All thanks to Nick and love.

I'm such a dork.

I'll save the rest for later this week because I'm going to be very mushy in the next couple of days.

I love you all.

goose

:: 2005 10 January :: 2.44pm

Somebodys eyes are watching...

(Footloose) LOL

So Theatre Fest has come and gone and now i have to worry about band finals, normal finals, and getting my butt into college...wich is most likely not going to happen.

so the one college that will accept me i can not afford...and i am not elgible for ang scolarships since i have a low gpa and a lower than low act score. I should have auditioned this weekend, i wish i knew about it earlier...

:: 2005 9 January :: 3.43pm
:: Mood: contemplative

Everything I do and say has a point and a reason, even if you don't see it at first.
Bedshaped by Keane

Read more..

:: 2005 9 January :: 1.21am

Today I went over to Nick's and had linner/dunch with him and his mom's side of the family.

It was nice. They're all really cool people.

Then we went over to Ben's and hung out there for a while.

While Nick was taking me home, he got pulled over because his taillight was out. I'm really starting to dislike cops. The cop just asked that same stupid question that they always ask.

Today could have been better but that's only because I didn't make it so. I've been really blah and stressed out lately.

I truthfully think that I have the same problem as my mom. I'm always really depressed a week before Fred comes around. I know it's just my hormones being of balance but it gets to the point where I really don't want to do anything and it's just...bleh. My mom has that problem and she has some drugs or something she's on. I'm hoping that it's just because I'm a teenager. I really don't like taking medicine for anything.

I hope everyone's okay.

I love you all.

6 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2005 8 January :: 12.22am

Guns can't kill what soldiers can't see.

(The only thing you keep changing is your name.)

Find a house you don't have to rebuild.

:: 2005 7 January :: 2.59pm

Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same.

Angel_Bob

:: 2005 6 January :: 12.50pm

In the Backseat by The Arcade Fire

Read more..

:: 2005 6 January :: 6.07am

Snow and a snow day!

I'm so excited, I don't think I'll be able to fall back asleep.

:: 2005 4 January :: 7.45pm

I'll admit it, I'm in love.

And I'm terribly selfish and stupid about it.

:: 2005 3 January :: 5.26pm
:: Music: Fils de... by Jacques Brel

My parents are leaving on Wednesday morning of next week and won't be back until Sunday night.

I'll probably be freaking out about my brother and sister while they're gone.

I was thinking no pillows for my birthday. I have so many on my bed right now that I'm having trouble sleeping and waking up with a sore neck and back.

My life is one huge ball of irony.

Story at 11.

I love you all.

6 three drinks behind | martini?

Angel_Bob

:: 2005 1 January :: 1.00pm

Last year was pretty cool so I won't mind if this year is like that. Except that last year was just like the year before and I didn't really like the year before.

What I mean is, I hope this year is better than last year but I really won't mind if it is like last year because last year was a pretty okay year. Maybe if I had the happiness of the year before last with the maturity of the end of last year, that'd be nice.

I know this year is and is going to be awesome. It'll be way better than all the years past. ~~I graduate in a short while~~ We graduate in May and then ~~I'm~~ we're off to college in the fall.

This year will rock because I will make it so.

I love you all.

:: 2005 1 January :: 4.35am

Just got home.

I don't want to go to bed.

~~The world~~
Laws make me sad

:: 2004 30 December :: 10.21am

4 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2004 30 December :: 12.06am

An entry full of...something...
Something about sorry for coming across as angry in comments earlier.

Something about how I really meant to say I just want us all to get along without any drama.

Something about not meaning to sound so harsh and/or rude.

Something about the internet not conveying tone very well.

Something about wanting to talk like that robot in KOTOR 2.

Something about it sounds like a good idea to either leave your drama at home or don't be in the same room with the fellow dramaee.

Something about something.

Something about thanking Jackie for giving us her house to party in.

Something about have fun.

Something about buying Crimson Skies.

Something about getting a lower score on my ACT the second time and thinking about re-re-taking it.

Something about love.

22 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2004 28 December :: 11.30pm

No one reads big long entries so:
NEW YEAR'S EVE PLANS! Everyone read this please!

Alright. I don't know what people want to do or plan on doing on Friday night.

I was thinking we could all get together, the whole group, and play video games and watch movies.

I don't know where you guys would like to go to do this, whose house we could all hang out at all night, but it'd be nice to hang out with everyone and just...hang out.

We could have video games in one room and movies in the other. And tons of food.

What are your thoughts? Can we use your house? What do you want to do? Can you come along?

Does this sound like a good idea?

Angel_Bob

:: 2004 28 December :: 10.32pm
:: Mood: nostalgic

My siblings and I were debating over nuclear power earlier while watching The Simpsons and eating the puppy chow that I made.

We are weird people.

I said it was a horrible idea, my brother insisted it was safe and not that bad, my sister agreed with me but actually had the facts right.

I apologize for not responding to people on the messenger earlier. I left the computer on when I went to make popcorn and got distracted for a long time.

I received The Snowman for Christmas. It's an excellent (short and British animated) movie based on a very cute book. Both of which I loved when I was little and have looked for forever.

Anyway, I watched it today/tonight. I cried a lot. I don't know why. Yeah, it's bittersweet and yes, I cry about everything. I cried because I was watching my favorite movie from when I was little. I cried because I remembered the words of the only song with words. I cried because I remembered the motorcycle, the freezer in the garage and Santa wearing an apron. I cried because of the end.

I cried a lot, even for me.

This is getting a lot more personal and touchy feely than I meant it to be.

I love you all.

6 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2004 28 December :: 1.15pm

It's that time of the year again...

Katie's birthday is on January the 22nd!!!

Forget it and face the wrath of something! It'll be the big ONE EIGHT for her so get her two hugs instead of one.

My birthday is in exactly a month!

I will also be turning the big ONE EIGHT and I at least expect a pillow.

Seaofsorrow's birthday is on the third!

Just because someone doesn't update often doesn't mean they don't deserve birthday love!

Brooke's birthday is on the ninth!

She's cool beans and also doesn't update that much!

Brianna's birthday is on the 24 of the Jan of the uary!

She's pretty and nice and sweet and cool! And deserves every bit of love you can give her!

!!~~ THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE DON'T FORGET YOUR FRIENDS' BIRTHDAYS POLICE (MAKING SURE YOU DON'T FORGET SINCE 1943) ~~!!

sweetyas

:: 2004 29 December :: 1.02am
:: Mood: Amazingly chipper
:: Music: silence

My grandma's will ~~i know doesnt make sense with my mood
My grandma and i were working on her will yesterday cuz she was going to go on hajj. i must say i made the experiance much better, we had fun. When she read it to me the first time i started to cry, i mean i love i cant imagine not living with out her. i mean i met her in 2001 i havent really had enough time with her, adn she went ot iraq for wat 2 years of the time ive known her its weird. i dunno i told her to put a house in my name but she sorta wouldnt. but she did write in her will that if people were unhappy with teh descisions then i could change them. i was entertaining.

i worked on biology labs over break. omg thats a first for me. but i almost finished the first one and it only took about 3.5 hours. yea im screwed and i have five of these. it saddens me.

love y'all

yasamin

:: 2004 27 December :: 10.39am

Eisley sounds different.

Makes me sad.

They're still very cool.

sandatthebeach

:: 2004 27 December :: 1.28am

I hate not being able to do anything...other than sit here and wait. I'm being pretty vague. Basically in this journal, I write whenever I wanna post something that I don't want to in my Xanga mainly because that's more public than this one. I figured people (referring to the general public) has given up on reading this one because I hardly update it as opposed to my Xanga which is updated almost daily (for the most part).

It kind of sucks when you want to do something but you can't. Because it's not right. As much as it sucks for me, there's one thing for sure....I will always respect the existence of someone's boy/girlfriend. Basically, I will never try to rip apart one's relationship because of my own selfish desires. I'm really quite hopeless...and I feel too stupid to tell anyone what it is that I'm thinking.

As time passes, I find myself keeping my mouth shut about how I feel about my personal issues. I mean, I love it when people talk to me about what's going on in their heads...I'm more grateful that they trust me. It's just, I feel like such a dumbass because I don't know what to say back without trying to relate to myself. And that's why I'm such a bad conversationalist. I don't know what to say. In response, I usually start with "well, with me..." 'shut the hell up, Sandy. The situation's not about you so stop trying to make the conversation revolve around you', I tell myself.

But at the same time, I wanna tell someone how I feel or what I'm thinking because I've reviewed it so many times in my head and it just sounds stupid and immature......and desperate. I have these questions that I want to ask but I don't because I don't want to sound conceited or selfish.

I don't want to go back to school. I feel like such a failure right now and I'm so worried I'm not going to get into college and stuff (which, by the way, is the only thing I ever talk about now to people).

I need to shut up and get some sleep. My throat is gradually becoming worse and me staying up isn't doing it much good.

I'll take the day off tomorrow....I was gonna do some homework, clean my room, study for finals......I'm gonna just sleep and bake cookies with the cookie dough that Pa-Trice got me :-) Holy mother and a crapcake....she and her mommy gave me a huge ass tub of cookie dough. When Pa-Trice told me that she going to give me cookie dough, I thought it was going to be in one of the Ziploc baggies....enough to make like 5 cookies. Nope....I can make like a billion now. So cookie baking party at my house....Anyone...Anyone???

Always, Sandy

sweetyas

:: 2004 27 December :: 10.29pm

Random

YASAMIN
Y	is for	Yummy
A	is for	Articulate
S	is for	Snarky
A	is for	Animated
M	is for	Musical
I	is for	Insane
N	is for	Nervy

What Does Your Name Mean?

toki

:: 2004 25 December :: 4.43pm

I don't want to work right now.......:-(

I just want to be lazy.

I already worked a 13 hour day this weeeeek.

Why me?

Why christ-a-mas??

:-(

Sad.

I'll tell more about yesterday and today later. Despite impending doom of work, it's been a good two days. ;-)

-Patrice

5 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2004 24 December :: 11.08pm

For the first time in nine years, my family didn't go to church today.

Christmas Eve is the only day we ever go to church.

And this year, today, no one felt like going.

I feel horrible.

14 three drinks behind | martini?

:: 2004 23 December :: 12.24pm

Kelly, I owe you moneys.

What're we going to do for New Year's Eve?

I love you all.

:: 2004 23 December :: 11.09am

It's the day before Christmas Eve! It's that awesome day that almost feels double awesome!

We have icing snow on the ground. Like a cake. I love snow. I hope we get tons and tons on Christmas Eve.

I'm going to try to get out to Nick's today, if only for a little bit. I don't know if that will happen.

I need to get my father's present then I'm done.

I still don't have all my friends' presents but I don't see you all for another whole week anyway.

I love you all.

toki

:: 2004 23 December :: 9.15am
:: Mood: awake

This break I've been kind of hidden from the world. It's not bad entirely. The only people I've seen are Ryan and Sandy. I was supposed to see Jorie and folk last night, but they asked me to stay until close. They promised me New Year's off if I did, so why not? I wantot have fun on New Years. Yeah. It was a 13 hour shift. ::dies:: But I had fun. We're having a white elephant gift exchange with the people working on Christmas. It's Ryan, Brian, Mark, and Roger. Who are closing I think. And Ken. Celia's leaving at 6. Poo on her. But yeah, Ryan and Brian...I'm excited about working with that. Fun times.

Originally they put me out in box last night (after I opened box), but then Ken moved me to concessions because Ryan was there alone. Mwahaha. Yeah, Ryan said that he understands why we aren't scheduled in the same place. And other then the talking while we were supposed to be cleaning, it wasn't bad. I don't know. We showed you, Barker. Ha. I accidently called Justin Ryan though. Because they were both standing there and I was thinking "ryan" and looking at ryan, but talking to Justin. Yeah, then Ryan and I went to Mcdonald's and sat in the parking lot until 2ish. Nothing bad happened. We just talked. We were in the middle of a parking lot with people, for christ sake. So yeah, I snuck in at 2:04am and went to sleep.

The rest of my break hasn't been bad, actually. The first couple days almost killed me. But yeah. I finally saw Finding Neverland!!! Oh man. Remind me never to see a sad movie with Sandy. It felt good though, to cry at a movie. I think it feels good. But that's just me. Then we went and got peppermint hot chocolate and a huge ass cookie and ate and talked. Your basic Sandy and Patrice date scenario.

Tuesday with Psuedo-Christmas with Ryan. That was fun. We just hung out. We were planning on eating somewhere niceish, but we went to Portillo's instead. It's funny, the past two days I've had a total of two meals. Both of which were cheeseburgers. Yeah, working 13 hours on an empty stomach, ow. But yeah. I got Ryan a ferrat calender and a farside book. He's a hard boy to shop for. But he was better. He got me a charm bracelet and a Koala bear from build-a-bear with a Kerasotes name tag and a bow tie. Gabbie calls him "Charlie the Kerasotes Koala". Good times.

This past weekend was alot of shit. Have you ever seen a guy cry? Yeah. It's scary. Yeah, I learned I can't trust everyone on everything they say. Things are still rather confusing, I don't know what to say or do. But yeah. Hopefully they'll work out?

Now it's time to go to Caribou. If Jill remembers. If not, then I don't know. No book for me? ::shrugs:: Ryan was talking about maybe getting some food before he works today, so I'll do that instead. Then maybe a movie with Sandy and lots of cookie making. Yes. Yum cookies.

Oh! My mom got that awesome Juice stuff. Yuuum. :-D Makes me happpy.

Christmas is soon. I'm actually getting excited. Which could be bad. Christmas usually disappoints in this house. Not in terms of gifts, but family stuff. You know? Oh well. We shall see. If all else fails, I have my work chicitos to hang out with. Even though they're all guys, I think I can stand a few hours of dirty jokes. Hm. Maybe. ::shrugs::

Call me if you get bored or need to talk or what not. I'm here. Really. Except when I'm working. But I still answer my phone. ^.~ (That's a wink.)

-Patrice

sweetyas

:: 2004 23 December :: 11.19pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Old Navy Comercial

My life
So i dont think im one of those people taht just hates others, i really dont hate anyone, i mean i sometimes dislike someone but i dont hate people. I absolutely hate this girl i work w/ i mean hate her i cant stand workign with her. She is just so freaking lazy. Ok big deal you can type on the computer, i can too, but that doesnt mean u can ignore the phone and the customers you shud ring up some customers. GRR.

OMG, dont go through the drive thru. Im serious man. you are torturing the people who work where ever. At the pharmacy we get these people who use the drive thru (their right) but its torture. It's freezing and we're (the ppl who work @ the store) arent wearing jackets adn its cold. yea another rant

I saw beauty and the beast yesterday. The set was amazing. it like entertained me the whole show, i had to be like stop focus on show. it was so pretty and the stage goes up and down and things come down from the ceiling. i was like omg. the actors were good too. they had amazing voices but i didnt like the girl they picked for belle so the show was all ruined for me. belle was supposed to be pretty (thats why she was named belle) and htey had a chubby girl playing her i just didn't like it. And the costumes were amazing. they had the gold dresss adn it was big and fluffy i liked it.

i still i have to give jorie and patrice their xmas present so they (hint hint) should give me a call so that we can hang out and i can give it to them.

This break has been ok so far. i have to start my bio h/w cuz im screwed so far. Well adios

Yasamin

:: 2004 22 December :: 8.36pm
:: Music: There is No There by The Books

So I was playing Fable and listening to my Indie music and I noticed the lyrics of this song. It's actually a sound clip of Einstein commenting on Ghandi.

"I believe that Gandhi's views were the most enlightened of all the political men in our time. We should strive to do things in his spirit: not to use violence in fighting for our cause, but by non-participation in anything you believe is evil."

This is all there is...