I really wonder what would have happened if i answered my phone the night before thanksgiving. I wonder if everything would be different. no..not different, but i wonder if i would have seen him. I wonder if i would have actually given up everything i said that i wouldnt do, just to see him, for a few hours,just bring back what was never really there. Just the times that i thought i was in love, the times that i thought i actually had someone who cared about me. Sometimes i wonder what was going threw my head when i did crazy things like i did. But where to different now, things will never be the same. I just wish that i ment more to him. I really wonder whats wrong with me, and why i think about him so much...i mean hes gone..hes never coming back..get the fuck over it and move on with your life.....

am i a complete idiot for thinking that i would have ever had a good relationship with someone who fucking hurt me so many times.
god dammit..please tell me to stop talking about him, i mean its long gone now. I think i just need a new relationship...no1 from this town there...there all the same. Like they all have one fucking brain or something. I dunno why but i could never go out with someone from natick..i mean ive tried it..its just weird..different in a weird sence i cant really explain.



-meg

[.sad.]

Have you ever cried so hard,
that you couldn't breathe?


Have you ever had someone stab you in the back,
and laugh as they watch you bleed?


Have you ever loved someone so much,
but they never understood?


Have you ever been abused for being bad,
when you were trying so hard to be good?


Have yo ever cried a billion tears,
asking God "why?"
And do you know how it feels to fall asleep at night,
wishing you would die?


Have you ever had a man take your innocence,
and throw it out the door?
And you live each day in fear,
wondering if he'll come back for more?


Have you ever had a girl threaten to take your life,
and you try not to show your fear,
but it hurts too bad to hide?



Have you ever thought you could trust someone,
but they just throw you around?
And you try so hard to hold back the tears,
as you hit the ground.




Have you ever overdosed on drugs,
because you just couldn't take anymore?


Do you really know what it feels like,
to have your heart get broken?


Have you ever left your house,
unsure if you'll return?


Have you ever looked to the stars at night,
and prayed for the pain to end?
Begging "please just take it away,"
and the next day you feel it again?


Have you ever been so far away,
from the only one you ever loved?
But he tells you just hold on,
and you love him too much,
you just can't give up?


Have you ever told yourself to hold on,
please don't fall apart?


Have you ever really listened,
to a young girl's broken heart?


Do you know how hard it is,
for me to face another day?
If you don't then tell me why,
you treat me this way?


Have you ever felt the pain i have,
do you know how i feel?


Have you ever thought about your past,
and just wished it wasn't real?




Have you ever screamed for help,
wishing someone would hear?
But no one hears your cries,
no one sees your tears.


Have you ever been through,
all the things i've been through?
If you haven't then tell me why,
you treat me like you do.

MerRy ChRiStmaS!
It doesnt seem like christmas so much, it came and went so fast. But it was good. I love christmas..and i love vacation, i cant wait to shop lol...eh i have to work tomorrow..i really really really R E A L L Y dont want to.:(

tonights our one year <|3..
i wonder if you even remember...

Write later
-meg

o0o la la
The difference between men and woman..

Woman:
A man pulls up to a woman walking on a sidewalk in a limo, he rolls down his window and says " do you have the time?" She gives him the time and he says " Would you like to come back to my penthouse with me?"
..now how many woman do you think would go back?

Man:
A woman pulls up to a man walking on the sidewalk in her broken down little car, she rolls down her window and says " do you have the time?" He gives her the time and she says " Would you like to come back to my shitty little house with me?"
..Now how many men do you think would go back?
(i think just about everyman in the world would)

drivin that train high on cocain..
Hey ho let's go
I'm gonna start a riot
You don't wanna fight it
One two fuck you
Don't tell me what to do
I don't wanna be like you
Can't you see it's killing me
I'm my own worst enemy
Knock me down I'll keep on moving
It's the art of losing


..* my room is finally done :) i love it so much lol *..

Well its almost christmas..eh im exited in a way, so more school..no more people who piss me off...ick..sometimes i just wanna scream at *certain people*..i mean seriously..were not in 1st grade anymore..dont have to call me names..lol it just makes me laugh to hear from one of my friends that you were talking shit about me to them..i mean oviously there gunna tell me. If you still wanna be immature..the least you can do is say it to my face <>. ick..i hate when people do that..just makes me wanan kill them even more :)..makes it even worce when i have to look at their face everyday..even tho i try not to...its kinda hard when they sit so fuckin close to me...anyway..on a happier note..well actually..there is no happier note today..today just fuckin sucked...Xcept for the fact that it snowed :) i <3 snow so much lol its so pretty..even tho it was soooo cold..it still made me happy to look at the pretty snow outside :)

Well im gunna go make some hot chocolate <3
Write lata..