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2004 18 February :: 5.19 pm
:: Mood: contemplative
ya know, i'm hardly ever NOT contemplative...
Cookie4Nat: hey
Auto response from Horseeyoregal: bored...and lonesome...pauvre moi. je voudrais un petit ami!! waahhhh!!!
Cookie4Nat: awww ur bored and loenly? poor u? u want a bf??????
Cookie4Nat: hehe how cute
Cookie4Nat: i hope im reding french corretly
Cookie4Nat: haha
Cookie4Nat signed off at 1:49:04 PM.
right...cute... just like when he told me about his dream last night where his girlfriend turned lesbian and was dating none other than ME. and then he went on to say how cute it was and how much it turned him on...and the he wouldn't really MIND if his girlfriend was bi and dating me at the same time. WOAH THERE.
(and that is how i get in trouble for posting things that i shouldn't in my journal. i find this really hilarious.)
so. i've been thinking. (as i always seem to be.) and i've realized...i miss it. i REALLY miss it. i miss EVERYTHING that had to do with it. and i want it back. NOW. but...that's not something that i alone can make happen. and it won't happen. so i'll just sigh now. *sigh* but ummmm...yeah. i just really, really miss it. i can't say anything like 'i never really realized how much i cared about it until it was gone' because that's not true. i DID realize how much i cared for it during it all. am i a dependent person? i didn't think i was. maybe i am...but for some reason i doubt that. i think i just VALUE dependence. i enjoy it more than i realize. and as much as i'm always bitching about not having enough independence, maybe if i got what i wanted...i wouldn't be so happy.
but enough of confusing ramblings.
now on to BIG NEWS. (well, in fact, it's not really all that NEW. because i thought about it yesterday. but yeah.)
so. here's my SUPER DUPER COOL PLAN!! are you excited? you should be. really, you should. so, i go to this camp every summer, right? camp unique. (and no, sara, it's not for mentally disabled people, it just has a funky name. lol!) this will be my second summer in a leadership role, as a CILT (Camper In Leadership Training.) once a teen is chosen to be a CILT, (the camp directors choose, it's not an application thing, you just are one or you aren't) s/he is given leadership...ummm...things to do. (besides a nice 10% discount from camp...hehe) among these are helping with the sports classes, running the snack bar, and generally getting to know the campers so that if there is a problem, it can be brought up with the staff at staff meetings. once one becomes older, (like, junior/senior) it is imperative to start to specialize in one of the activities (like, ali, for example, co-taught a dancce class last year, and nicole would probably teach a drama class) and eventually, (hopefully) become a councilor and take over the activity fully. my thought: what would i teach? dance, ehhh, i'm no alison. drama? ehhh, it's really more nicole's thing, and i hardly do shows anymore anyway. horseback riding? i would if i could, but it's all run at springdown. and i'm certainly content to be the best rider out there and get to ride in the jumping classes with the regular students. so....thinking of myself, what do i do? MUSIC!! that's what i do. and specifically what? singing and band. what kind of band? MARCHING BAND!! (i haven't really explored the singing idea yet...but a camp unique chorus?? could be painful.) so, with LOTS of parental support, i have decided to bring it up to the camp councilors/directors this year. what, exactly, am i proposing??
A MARCHING BAND CLASS, THAT'S WHAT!!! now, i have actually seriously considered this. the MAIN problem: no one will want to do it. but hey, little kids sign up for yoga every year, why not band?? besides, band is GREAT! another obvious problem: skill level on their instrument.
but wait...this is no concert band. this is MARCHING BAND. which is an activity that...when given one or two weeks and a group of 7-11 year olds, may take a while to learn in itself, even if i just taught basics. but think about it, how cute would that be? and i'm so completely obsessed with the idea that i'm sure the kids would just LOVE it. i mean, if i was 7-11, i would want to do it! i could find videos of really good bands, get them all excited....i mean, it's a cool thing, when you think about it! a lot of people working together to make pictures on a field while making music! if there was interest and i was seriously given permission, i'd put SO much work into it. i'd find really, REALLY simple songs to work on, give the better instrumentalists solos or something, and we'd play a little standstill show. then we could do a drilldown. the parents would get a kick out of it!! and they'd all be so excited and proud of themselves!!
it would be very cool. VERY cool.
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::
2004 18 February :: 10.27 am
:: Mood: contemplative
GUSTY!!
let's all just take a moment to think about what i was doing approximately a year ago at this time... okay, done thinking about that. moving on.
went to the optometrist yesterday. got a new perscription. fun stuff. except i had to wake up at 9. yeah, that's EARLY. but now i can see better.
ummmmmmmmmmm. had a blast downtown at the coffee shop with nicole and molly. lots of gossiping about broken box. (since it's like the one thing, well one of the things, keeping nicole from transfering to lahs.) yummy food. then we walked to starbucks and nicole and i got hot chocolates. mmmmm... and then we publically embarassed ourselves. well, nicole did. and i watched. lol. she reinacted the time when she posed randomly as cars went by. we had to keep stopping though, because the GUSTY wind (gusty is my new word, btw) kept...well...gusting.
then i had to go cuz of my hbriding lesson...ugh. but yeah. good times!!
i still have SOOOOO much bio to do!! it's not fair!! and math...and french... ugh. not cool.
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2004 17 February :: 10.13 pm
quiz!
Ballet shoes- beautiful, graceful, and creative,
you enjoy dancing, writing, and music. You are
often very poetic and sometimes dramatic. You
keep to yourself aside from a few close friends
that you can relate to. [please vote! thank
you! :)]
What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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2004 16 February :: 5.11 pm
:: Mood: surprised
OMG!!!
GUESS WHO I JUST SAW AT THE END OF MY VOICE LESSON??!?!? NONE OTHER THAN CARLY!! YEAH!! HOW COOL/RANDOM IS THAT?!?! (okay, so only concert choir people have the faintest idea who i'm talking about, but STILL!!) THE carly. the one who sang the soprano solo's with ms. hebel's son in the kyrie of the mass of the children at the memorial service!! SHE WAS LIKE RIGHT THERE!! LIKE RIGHT THERE!! it was so cool! so i'm finishing up my voice lesson with a lesson in the vacai book (a practical method of italian singing) when someone comes in. i'm all focused (italian is HARD!! well, this stuff is) so i didn't turn around or anything. paige is all like 'is it okay if we finish this up, carly? you're a little bit early, right?' and she's like 'sure.' but still, i didn't turn around. i DID think something like 'oh cool, a girl named carly,' though. haha.
so i turn around and IT'S CARLY! THE CARLY!! so here's the best part. i look at her and am like 'WOW!! HI!!' and leave. HAHAHHA. she must've been like 'okkayyy, who's the random girl who got strangely excited when she saw me?' well, carly, for your information, you DO know me. when i was in fourth grade, you drove me around after school and stuff.
right. well. anyway, that was weird. oh and molly, i TOTALLY was going to mention something about you being a SOPRANO, but i couldn't bring myself to do it. sorry!!
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2004 15 February :: 4.27 pm
:: Mood: contemplative
"so really, nothing's going to change"
what i've learned: don't ever believe that. whenever someone says that, it's just becuase they don't want to flat out say that everything's going to change.
just watched freaky friday with my 'family.' very cute. why do like 75% of the films out there (and the percentage rises for 'family films') have something to do with divorce/remarriage? it DOES get kind of awkward when every single movie i watch either with my mom and brian or my dad has something to do with family problems. i mean seriously! the first thing i did with my dad after he moved into his new apartment was go to the movies and see 'catch me if you can'. and WHY does leonardo dicaprio run away from home and become a con person? becuase his parents were getting divorced! sheesh.
but yeah. relating the phrase mentioned above to other aspects of my life, the same is true. when someone (or even yourself) thinks that 'nothing is going to change', it's only becuase they (or you) are saving themselves (yourself) from the harsh reality that it all really will.
and those are melissa's words of wisdom for today.
in other news, i bought the coolest pants yesterday! they're from charlotte russe. awesome store! i'd never been in there before but nicole and i agree that it is SO CUTE! haha.
got my eyebrows waxed yesterday. (owwwweee!) why was i born with blonde hair and super sensitive skin, but dark brown eyebrows?!? it's not fair, i tell you!
still sick. *coughs* see? slept in through church today. didn't get out of bed until 12:30. *yawn*
had my clarinet lesson. and now i have to go *cough* sing with my church *cough* choir. with my *HUGECOUGH* alto minions. (my two 6th grade alto trainee's who neither sing nor CAN sing...it's just a TAD frustrating...)
right. so i'm...umm...definitely looking forward to that NOT. just like at the mall yesterday. lol. me: should i just pay with my fifty and act like some 15 year old rich kid and be like 'oh, there's MUCH more where that came from NOT'?
P.S. it's really sad when the last 2 e-mails you've gotten (aside from woohu notices that tell me that someone replied to my journal...which i haven't been getting much of these days EITHER *hinthint*) are from teachers/band trip coordinators. (which i shouldnt've gotten anyway becuase i'm not going on the london trip!)
well, i've got to go *cough* sing. hope you all had a nice valentine's day!
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2004 13 February :: 11.54 pm
yeah
Horseeyoregal: nice journal entry lol
LbBabe127: haha thanks
LbBabe127: i think it's sexy
Horseeyoregal: oh definitely
LbBabe127: especially molly
Horseeyoregal: haha
LbBabe127: who told me to say that
LbBabe127: but don't tell her i told you
LbBabe127: even though she's staring at the computer as i write this
Horseeyoregal: okay
Horseeyoregal: i'll keep it a secret then
LbBabe127: thank you
LbBabe127: i wouldn't want her to find out
Horseeyoregal: yeah
Horseeyoregal: don't worry
Horseeyoregal: it's just between you and me
Horseeyoregal: you can trust me on that
LbBabe127: you're a real pal, mel
Horseeyoregal: she'll never know
Horseeyoregal: i know, aren't i?
LbBabe127: yeah
LbBabe127: gee whiz, you're swell
LbBabe127: hi melissa -molly
Horseeyoregal: hi!
Horseeyoregal: i have a secret that i can't tell you
Horseeyoregal: :-D
LbBabe127: she wants to know what it could possibly be
Horseeyoregal: i'm sorry, it's just between me and nicole
Horseeyoregal: i just can't tell you that
LbBabe127: she says she understands
LbBabe127: but i don't think she does
LbBabe127: because she's hitting me
Horseeyoregal: no, that's definitely a sign of misunderstanding
Horseeyoregal: it's still on the down low, nicole, don't worry ;-)
LbBabe127: i thought maybe
LbBabe127: oh good
and later
Horseeyoregal: thanks
LbBabe127: anytime
LbBabe127: I LOVE YOU MELISSA!
LbBabe127: molly says she loves you more
LbBabe127: but i don't believe her...
Horseeyoregal: i don't know who to believe
Horseeyoregal: but i love you both
LbBabe127: well thank you
LbBabe127: (she's not looking, just say you love me more)
Horseeyoregal: i love you more
LbBabe127: thanks
LbBabe127: she'll never know
Horseeyoregal: haha
Horseeyoregal: don't ever tell her
LbBabe127: awwwwwwww -molly
Horseeyoregal: it's between you and me, k?
LbBabe127: of course
Horseeyoregal: nooo!
LbBabe127: not that that aw was because of that or anything
Horseeyoregal: haha
haha. yeah, i'm not really sure why i'm staying online when i KNOW i'd be happier falling asleep. i think it's because i want this person to IM me, but i want them to do it without me hinting at it. but yeah, i guess i've decided that i don't care, i'm going to hint anyway cuz i just really miss talking to this person.
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2004 13 February :: 11.15 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: into the woods-no more
omg how great is this?
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2004 13 February :: 10.37 pm
:: Music: it doesn't matter, it has to do with love
valentine's day is tomorrow...
i started a really long entry about what love is, and how i've felt over past valentine's days about love. i then got into what it takes to say 'i love you' and how we use it so many different ways, almost misusing and diluting the meaning of it. well, it got delted somehow. the strange thing is, i don't care. it felt good just to write it all down. i'm not going to try to recreate it, becuase once an entry is deleted, i've already given up all hope of being able to recreate it.
i look around and see couples holding hands, girls walking around with roses and stuffed animals... i've always had somewhat of a vision of what the 'perfect' valentine's day event would be (always something completely unreasonable and impossible) and, well, none of them have actually happened yet. not even close. but really, that's okay with me. i've gotten on fine without any of it, and i know that that isn't going to change. i can't say that that fact prevents me from being jealous of all of the people with dates, though.
i was talking with molly today about stuff. she said something alone the lines of 'well, you've actually sort of had relationships. you've just experienced it before. she's never done anything like that.' hm. i guess i have done stuff. i'd say i've done pretty much nothing physical (considering all there is to do) but i've been through some emotional stuff that goes on during a relationship. i guess i'm not completely clueless as to what it's all about. but i really don't know...there's an infinite amount of unsolved mystery still out there...
i'm not really sure how much of it i want to solve. well, at least not right now. there's definitely always a part of me wanting desperately to explore more, though.
but the weird thing is, at least right now, (and this could very well change by valentine's day) i'm pretty content where i am. there's ALWAYS a nagging at the back of my mind that tempts me with the false assumption that if i figure more out about love, i'll be happier. i'm not sure if that's always true, but sometimes it certainly seems like it. i don't know, i kind of want a relationship, but i don't NEED it. it's not like i'll feel like less of a person without it, it'd just be nice, you know? to have that one extra friend. to have someone who gets you excited when they talk to you. to be in love.
well, happy valentine's day! (in 1 hr and 4 mins)
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2004 13 February :: 4.12 pm
:: Mood: accomplished
a few random things
*valentine's day is tomorrow. i realized this as i put on a blue shirt, and then remembered that i had planned to wear my 'do me' shirt and my red sweater today. good thing i remembered...lol. it's crazy how many people compliment me on this shirt!! it's not THAT great, seriously... so, even without preparing to give/recieve anything valentine's related, i ended up getting 2 valentines, and candy from 5 different people. pretty good, huh? i AM loved! lol. but not by any guys at the moment. *melodramatic sigh* haha. well, none that i know of...i have a feeling this guy in my P.E. class might be too shy to ask me out, though...he stares at me a lot and has said 'hi' to me really cutely (shut up, NOW it's a word!) in the halls. he seems sweet. i dunno, just like REALLY shy. it's cute. and apparently it's 'very likely' that devin will eventually ask me out, seeing as i apparently 'madly flirt' with him all through math. now, you must know: there is a distinct difference between flirting and "making conversation". THERE IS! it's just that there's a very fine line between the two when it comes to me talking to boys. i tend to...errr...mix the two quite easily. hehe. poor guy, might need surgery for his knee. he's still out for like 4 weeks of baseball season anyway. :0(
* the RWW is OVER!! YESSS!! i'm sooo glad it's finally done. mr. smith freestyled for like 15 minutes at the end of class about different teachers...it got to be R/X rated VERRRRY quickly. yeah. not appropriate for our virgin ears. i mean, some of it was just disgusting! *shakes head* i dunno about mr. smith anymore...
*we had the posessed sub in math. i swear, he is the devil reincarnate. he's not like really mean or anything, but he has this satanic evil presense about him. and when he smiles and laughs...creeeeeepy. and his eyes... but anyway, we got to talk all period becuase ms. olsen was in a car accident. (quite possibly becuase she was 'trying to have a kid' while driving...LOL!!! we all think that her 'procedures' have been for artifical insemination because she's always talking about how she doesn't have children and wants one. funny stuff.) but anyway, we didn't have our quiz. HALLELUJAH!! seriously, 9.3 was hard. ugh. well, i have a week to figure it out!
*woohoo!! it's ski week!! :0p to all you paly/gunn/pinewood/MA people who only have monday and tuesday off. wednesday is the one year anniversary of something. sooo weird to think about that...but yeah. things have changed since last year (like brian living with us) so the event cannot possibly ever be repeated. interesting, though, how i remember what day of the week it was and all. whatever, moving on...
*m youatt really likes me for some reason. i've been getting A's (like not even A-'s, straight A's) on like every quiz and stuff this quarter, so she was like 'melissa, you'd better get an A this semester. i'm not sure how you ended up with a B+ last semester. your grammar and accent is great, keep it up.' hmm. cool. m youatt likes me. as do like, ALL of my other teachers. and this brings me to another thing.
*i am NEVER going to forgive the thing that ummm...happened. i REALLY value that i have a good rep with teachers and church and stuff, and it really bothers me that a certain school official now knows me as one to...idk, cause minor problems. that does not make me happy at all. i wish that could all be erased. or never have happened at all. becuase really, it wasn't MY fault that it ended up that way at all. grrrrrr....
*am i being totally rediculous, or does m youatt SORT of have style? i mean, she doesn't wear like..."cute" things, but i like a lot of her sweaters. and she's really good with putting together an ensemble. like, she looks like everything she puts on is part of that outfit. and it's not like dorky matching, like those velour matching sweats/sweater things. maybe it's becuase she's french...they value fashion more, don't they?
*OMG I MIGHT DO ALICE!! omg LOL that sounds like i'm a horny lesbian. i'm not. not that that really matters anyway. oh! and san francisco just started giving marriage lisenses to same sex couples!! that makes me sooo happy!! yay for people not being stupid and arguing that marriage is only sacred for a man and a woman!! seriously, if they can't understand the importance of love, their marriages are worthless. it's just SO stupid to deny two people in love the right to be legally married. i'm glad that people are finally able to, at least for now, in san francisco. yay for the mayor! but ANYWAY, that's not what i meant to say. i meant that i'm probably going to try out for LAYT's Alice. (like alice in wonderland, but a little different. sort of like the difference between the wizard of oz and the wiz, i guess.) but anyway, nicole and molly might do it, so that would be SOO fun!! gosh, i miss acting SOOOOO much!! i'm excited! yay! (but i'm not positive i'm going to do it yet. but just the possibility is exciting!)
*ummm...i think that's it for now. oh, i found sort of a valentine's-ish quote in our planner. made me think of stuff. haha louise, made me think of :0(
"Happiness in life isn't about you OR me. It's about you AND me."
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY (TOMORROW) EVERYONE!!
(hope all you couples have a good time!!)
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2004 12 February :: 7.02 pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Lion King stuff
Lion King and other recent events
well, i know it's been a whole *gasp* 3 (or is it 4?) days since i've updated. i'm sorry for the delay. (because i KNOW you all just sit there refreshing the screen of my journal all day in hopes that i've written something new...lol)
went to San Francisco with the performing arts dept yesterday. the bus ride was great...well, i'd been waiting to be on a bus with school people for SOOOO long. (ever since marching band season ended.) sat next to marcella, and on the same bus as rachel, louise, molly, and alexandra. fun stuff. the only bad thing was that it made me think of...*sigh*. (;-) that's your cue to be like 'aww...poor mel.')
went to the cheescake factory (yeah baby!) for lunch with ali, marcella, louise, molly, rachel, and alexandra. it was very cool eating at the cheescake factory in san fran with friends. i LOVE that restaraunt! the only problem was that i was checking my watch involuntarily every 3 minutes and freaking out becuase our food took a while to be made. we were all so worked up (well, at least marcella and i) that we ate in about 10 minutes. we really didn't have much more than 15 once the food arrived, but oh well. it was still fun.
it turned out that even though we all got tickets from mr. shaull in order, there were like only 2-3 seats together and then it would go to a completely random spot of the theatre, far, far away, with another 2-3 seats together. so i ended up sitting next to louise, with ali and rachel and alexandra in front of us. molly and marcella were in row X WAY far away from us. :-( it was still a great show, even though i had already seen it, but i definitely think that the broadway cast in new york was A LOT better overall. i really didn't think much of young simba's voice (the little kid in ny was AMAZING) and adult simba and nala really weren't that great. :-/ still, it was really cool just to be there.
the ride back was spent talking in VERY LOUD voices between me, molly, louise, marcella, and rachel. everyone else was tired or something, so they were mostly quiet. we were like laughing and speaking in really loud voices. it was fun. it was during the car ride back, i believe, that mr. ferrucci made the 'louise, i never knew you had a voice' comment. ha. and this was AFTER we'd had the 'these are the classes i'm taking next year:' discussion and mr. ferrucci asked if louise was taking band next year and was 'very hurt' by her response. ha. it turns out that when she was walking home afterwards, mr. ferrucci drove by her in his car and yelled something about 'symphonic band' to her through the window. he's a weird, obsessive, musical, stressed man.
great week to have 3 concert choir rehersals, right when i get sick. fun stuff.
well, my RWW is due tomorrow, and i have a math quiz and a bio test. ugh. better go study/do hw/finish up the project.
oh, btw, WHO'S GIVING ME ALL THESE HUGS?? (i'm not angry, but seriously, i've only given myself like...5 hugs tops, and that was just so it wouldn't say '0'!)
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2004 9 February :: 8.13 pm
HUG ME!!
come on guys, show the love! you can do it!
*HUGS* TOTAL!
give musicalbabe more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
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2004 9 February :: 12.07 am
:: Mood: bored/sleepy
survey
reeeeeeeally long survey
1) Using band(or singer names, spell out your first name:
gosh i don't know!!
2) Have you ever had a song written about you?
now THAT would be sexy...
3) What song makes you cry?
"Bring Him Home"
4) What song makes you happy?
"Schadenfreude"
5) What do you like to listen to before bed?
my oboe CD or josh groban
6) Name a song by Coal Chamber:
who?
7) Who was/were your idols when you were younger?
taylor white (okay, maybe i just thought he was hot...)
8) First album you ever bought?
spice girls...yeah i know...ick
9) Name a song that reminds you of someone and why:
"Sit Down You're Rockin' The Boat" and "Boy For Sale" -Kyle. becuause he sang them. and becuase WHEN he sang them, i was completely obsessed with him.
HEIGHT: 5'7"
HAIR COLOR: blonde
SKIN COLOR: too darn pale (white)
PIERCINGS: none
r i g h t n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: black (and black shoes..and a black shirt...and a black sweatshirt...) i'm not being goth though...i'm just reporting for top secret duty tonight...hehehe
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: "No More Sad Songs" Clay Aiken
WHAT IS THE TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH?: well, the last thing i ate was ice cream at youth group...
WHATS THE WEATHER LIKE?: it's dark. and cold.
HOW ARE YOU? sleepy. mad at valentine's day.
d o y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: haven't yet. i get A LITTLE carsick sometimes, and apparently i might get seasick, but my mom always has me take medecine that would counter the affect before i ever go on a boat
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: sure
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: well...usually i'm fine with my mom...don't really know my dad very well anymore...am frequently annoyed with brian
LIKE TO DRIVE?: i'm not really eager to learn...
f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: american idol...or the o.c.
CONDITIONER: garnier fructis
BOOK: i've read quite a few good books
MAGAZINE: alloy...okay, it's a catalogue...but whatever
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: water. yummmmy
ALCOHOLIC DRINK: fuzzy navels (orange flavored wine coolers)
BAND OR GROUP: ummm...i don't really keep track with bands and groups and such
l o v e
BOYFRIEND: *sigh* nope
GIRLFRIEND: no
SEXUALITY: straight.
CHILDREN: none.
CURRENT CRUSH: well if i told you that...
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: i've only 'been out' once in my entire life. so no. HA.
r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: no
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: either ragazzi or les mis
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: hugs, singing, marching band, boys (usually), good grades, being finished with homework, friends, hot guys...
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST: depends on the situation
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: maybe rent...or wicked...or once upon a mattress
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: alison, nicole, molly, louise, sarah, sara, rachel, marcella etc.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: sing, play clarinet, talk on the phone, get text messages, act, dance, horseback ride, listen to music, discuss interesting issues, read
w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?: yesterday at the memorial service
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: for my birthday from my grandpa
YOU GOT EMAIL? just got the class council one...a whole 5 minutes ago
THING YOU PURCHASED: soap/bracelet/bath bomb for emily
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: survivor
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: win a date with tad hamilton
can't do the last part. i don't know enough songs! (well i do, but i'm indecisive)
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2004 8 February :: 3.09 pm
i don't want to take bio notes!
i like the gentle and best friend part, but 'i love your lips'?!?! that's a little too materialistic for my taste. ugh. besides, i'm not much of a kisser. (well, i mean, i haven't really kissed very many people...it's not like my lips are famous for anything....lol)
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2004 8 February :: 12.33 pm
Good morning, Melissa, welcome to hell.
that was what i heard as i walked into sunday school this morning. we were having a discussion about hell. it was very interesting. andrew is one of the smartest guys i know, if not THE smartest. (he's a junior at gunn. the son of the really good tenor soloist who sang the pie jesu solo's at the memorial service.) it was a very, very good discussion.
ya know, i don't think i've spent enough time at church this weekend. 11-3:30 yesterday, 9-12 today, and then 6-8 tonight. sheesh.
as i share with my peers about the "more important" events of friday, i am being forced to explore a new side to the whole thing. freedom of expression. was my freedom of expression limited by the events? was it fair that i had to do what i did? was it right that i be punished for expressing myself? at the time, i didn't think of it that way. (but then again, i was also horrified that my close to perfect reputation with all of my teachers was being slowly diminished by what seems like an unimportant event.) besides, should it have been handled by the school? just as a general cry of rebellion: since when is it the SCHOOL'S duty to deal with the students' personal problems? i mean, if this is now the case, are people going to be sent to the office if a boy comes in, devastated, and says 'so-and-so doesn't like me! PLEASE, YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE HER LIKE ME!' this doesn't seem reasonable AT ALL.
i'm really sorry to hear that alison is going to basically discontinue her journal, as louise did last year, because of MY unfortunate events caused by the content of my entries. but really, are journalists punished for writing what they feel about politicians? newspapers are public, aren't they?
as a final note, i think it's funny how bias makes people really bitchy and ignorant.
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2004 7 February :: 5.07 pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: the Requiem
the memorial service for virginia hebel was so beautiful. i felt so priveleged to have been able to sing for her. she really was a special person. her grandchildren were the cutest things on earth. everyone who sang solos sounded really good. all of the speakers were amazing. i was on the verge of tears for most of the service, especially when mr. shaull was speaking. (i think we can all relate to that. it was so hard to listen to mr. shaull get all choked up and have to stand in silence and compose himself in the middle of his speech. she really meant a lot to him.)
well, i'm off to a party. i had to get a gift in downtown palo alto in my concert choir dress. i felt really funny. i was just A TAD overdressed.
i almost feel kind of bad going off to a party and being all happy now. i feel like it would be more respectful and right to just sit at home and think about what a wonderful woman virginia was...
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