wow....weird night...
really, really weird evening. whole day, actually. i much prefered yesterday. but then again, i got to see jeff yesterday. haha. anyway...

yesterday i went to see jesus christ superstar in the city. it was SOOO incredibly good. i love how it's all rock-ish and still completely religious. i was a little shocked at the bare-nakedness of jesus in the last scene...i mean, honestly, it was basically a white diaper with 2 TINY flaps in the front. but the guy who was jesus was AMAZING!! and the lady who was mary is one of those actresses with tons of credits to her name and her own website. so, needless to say, she was VERY good as well. really cute chorus boy too. high tenor. nice teeth. curly hair. ha. speaking of curley. it's quite a tenor-oriented show except for the main priest guy. almost ALL of them have played curley in Oaklahoma. sweet....nice role. ;0) umm..but yeah. really nice day in the city, too. clear.

then went over to jeff's house for a sectual. conveniently missed the sectional part. but that's okay. not as much of a party as the other one because there were only 5 of us there for the majority of the time, but it was still fun. jeff's mom knows my name now. heehee. idk, seems like that's a good thing, since i'm going to homecoming with him. sorry, just can't drop that. too exciting!!

got up early-ish to go to church this morning. skipped our sunday school lesson to watch a video about SoulForce, an organization against spiritual violence. they define spiritual violence as the act of persecuting people because they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered. since it's a topic that i care about, it was...sort of interesting. but not really. the video was basically a promo. had more fun just discussing the issue with the group later.

sung in church. mom said she could hear the alto line ONCE. God. i'm up against a senior who's in the highest group at PALY (totally bright, forward sound) and courtney, in pinewood singers...just a good singer. plus the 4 other soprano's. and who's in my alto section? two sixth graders. both of whom have never read satb music and one of whom is completely tone deaf. the other one never talks much less sings. is this fair? and then lets consider my voice. annoyingly airy most of the time, breaking at odd moments, and not showing signs of changing anytime soon. lets just say ummmm no. its frustrating. i went from singing solos every time we sang because the 2-5th grade group wouldn't sing to not being heard at all because i don't have a freaking section!!

nice sermon about inclusiveness.

then ate downtown and drove to david's house. then drove to the flying lesson place. helped them figure out the weight/balance thing, and then waited while they did all the pre-flight prep stuff. then we went flying. VERY COOL. my first time in a small plane. especially cool because my friend was flying. the instructor did nothing but help him land becuase it was so windy. we didn't really go see much of anything because it was really cloudy, but that doesn't matter. it was AWESOME!! i definately want to go again.

then straight to my clarinet lesson. got through my stuff extra quickly. HA. i didn't even practice. got another lecture on how 'he know's i'm really good, just wants to make sure i have all of the basics. and that the book WILL get harder.' ha. right. whatever. its better than having to practice and have ANOTHER angry music teacher on my case.

then straight to choir. another WONDERFUL frustrating hour long session. at least it's not like my alto section last year. it was the 'yeah, we want to sing alto' group that belted out the soprano line. *makes angry face* i mean, i'm not even an alto. so why can't some other people just sing with me???

youth group. office-electing time. i really REALLY wanted to be a part of it. and i'm usually like really popular and stuff at church. my mom says it's because i'm just a freshman (ha. just a freshman. another thing that pisses me off. and another thing. the whole 'why the hell would ANYONE older want to go with you to anything?' ridicule. i guess now that it's my second upperclassman relationship, they're just all fired up.) but i wasn't elected as anything. ran for vp/secretary and treasurer. was in the runoff for vp/secretary, but lost to annie, a junior. eh, she deserves the office anyway, but i just really want to help. i guess i'll be doing enough taking over christina's job next year, but still... it's just dissapointing. i always like being so involved. :-(

got in trouble for spanking chris today. this was not in a sexual way. but i guess you wouldn't really understand unless you've seen me and chris together. we've known each other since we were in diapers. its not like that. but whatever. i'm sure i'll just get fucked up replies saying that i'm a whoreable from that remark. and ya know what else? CHRIS CALLED ME WHOREABLE TODAY!! that just wasn't peachy. i mean, he drew out whore for soo long i could have slapped him.

oh well. things must get better. marching band tomorrow. that's always a good thing. o! and discussion about concert choir!! yes! things will get better! i'm determined that they'll get better.

oh, and i got into CPG. (community performing group) and apprently some people didn't get in, so that's an accomplishment.

today was okay. not great, not horrible. i sure felt horrible for a bit today, though. just one of those moody teenager moments, i guess.

got asked to homecoming by jeff. accepted. duh. but it has a stupid twist to the whole thing. so it's kind of poopy. eh, idk. we'll see...

nothing much else happened today. oh, i scored my first goal in field hockey in p.e. wohoo. *insert sarcasm here* i should be studying. i'll get to that.

homecoming woes...HE WILL ASK ME!
WHY DOES EVERYONE DOUBT THAT HE'LL ASK ME?? GIVE ME A LIL FAITH!! HONESTLY!! IT'S DEGRADING!

okay, so. i almost got asked AGAIN today!! i was at the 'interact' meeting, watching a touching video about people with polio and other diseases that have lost their mobility and their only hope is a wheelchair. we're fundraising for wheelchairs. so yeah. jeff comes up to my group of friends who eat in the 500 wing with me and asks where i am. he's alone with terrance. they say i am at a club. they leave. FUCK!! i really would rather have ditched the meeting to be asked to homecoming. really! and i might end up having to if we do fundraising a lot...i just don't have the time!! if gay/strait alliance is less of a commitment i'll just go to that instead.

got a WORKING cell phone today!! i have unlimited incoming text messaging, unlimited night/weekend minutes, and 100 outgoing text messages. idk how many minutes i have...but i won't use them all anyway. my number is:

*******(650) 823-1137*******

so call me tomorrow, k? it needs to charge overnight... ;-) i'm so excited!!


ummmm french test tomorrow. bio/world studies test friday. should be fun fun fun. essay due thursday, lit. paragraph due next monday. mhmmm, sounds like a party.

again, anyone want to organize a biology study party??

life
saw 42nd street today at the golden gate theatre. okay theatre, BAD part of town. possibly the first time i've seen ppl rolling up joints and selling drugs right in front of me and known it. it was pretty scary. a real eye-opener. as for 42nd street, it was okay. not great. i think i've already been singing with mr. shaull too long...it was probably character singing, but some of the chorus girls were SOO bright and flat it was disgusting. after the show, my dad and i went to mel's drive in. yay...fat, greasy food... i've already gained back 3 pounds...hopefully in muscle...(probably...) but all this crap doesn't help any.

during dinner, i weasled my dad into buying me a cell phone. he flips out his cell and i'm like 'so when are you buying me one of those?' and he dials my mom and calls her to ask if he can buy me one. no joke! so now i have a cell phone. i'll see how it is for like 3-6 months and then we'll change my plan or buy a diff. phone or something. but damn...that was easy!

thanks to heather, i am now listening to the 2000 field show, cirque du soleil. it's fucking awesome. very very very neat. funky.

ummm...i still miss jeff. a lot.

omg! i saw a hayman real estate building today!! didn't help the jeff-missing, but still...

o and i know about homecoming stuff. (jeff doesn't read this anyway, so it doesn't matter...right?) thanks, ********. :0D

anyone have solo clarinet music that i can learn in an evening? claudia?? jeff (if you do indeed read this)??? i need something to audition with for the community performing arts group... i'd WAAAY rather sing and dance, but i have neither a song nor a dance prepared. damn these short-notice auditions!! oh well, whatever.

WHY IS IT MSS CAMP WEEKEND?? NOT FAIR NOT FAIR!! I'M GOING CRAZY WITHOUT MY FUTURE HOMECOMING DATE!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

o and everyone, amanda now has a journal. props to ali for publicising the trend.

haha...okay, because i said i like ponies, music, 'yeah' to sex, and 'yeah, so?' to getting in trouble, my inner child is... even with all the pony answers?!?! whatever. i'm definately not 1, 5, 10, or 45.

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

ahoy! arrrrr!!
TODAY WAS TALK/DRESS LIKE A PIRATE DAY!! woohoo!! there were only like 10 ppl in the entire school dressed up, but i was one of them!! heehee!

what happened today? well...i have a B in math, a B- in history, and that sucks. simple as that. haha. they will both definately come up, and i'm actually pleased with my history grade...(i sort of went into 'fuck you, mr. freeman' mode and started failing quizzes...) the B in math is only because of another failed quiz, which almost everone got 60% or less...but still...it was stupid. i think everything else is okay. i know i have an A in biology...A in marching band probably and A in girls' ensemble...A in english i'm almost certain....french II idk, but madame youatt likes me, so i think i'm okay...

umm...yahya came today. it was umm..interesting. i had all this dark eyeshadow under my eyes ('stolen' from kylie after p.e.) and was the only one in the entire class (not uncommonly today, as NO ONE dressed up) who was wearing pirate garb. so uhhh...yeah. got my hug. not too exciting. could have been better, but whatever.

now for the BIG news: HE IS GOING TO ASK ME....HE JUST HASN'T YET. but there's a 'yes, but' aspect to it. terrance says he'll make a deal with me...and he's gone all weekend at main street camp (probably THE ONLY conflict that i would have accepted) so i won't know till monday. HE HAD HIS CHANCE TODAY, THOUGH!! he was totally walking around 'aimlessly' and alone and i went up to him ALONE!! we got to talking about jeanette leaving, and he ended up NOT ASKING ME! arg. so frustrating! but he WILL ask me, just not necessarily till next week. i'm gonna try to weasle it out of terrance though...i think...

i'm going to see 42nd street avec mon pere tomorrow. should be fun. apparently there's some really good tap in it...(great, another reason to get back into dance...) but yeah, it should be fun. matinee show and then dinner in the city. sunday is church, choir, and youth group, as usual. it'll probably be 'venting about jeff' time, too. or 'bragging about jeff' time. :0D i luv my youth group...heehee.

okay so i'll update more on this once i ACTUALLY HAVE A DEFINATE HOMECOMING DATE...but homecoming dress?? hmmm?? $$? nonexistant, especially because of the recently purchased 3 musical theatre tickets... anyone have a beautiful dress that a sexy (but not entirely thin) blonde could wear to homecoming?

marching band music
i just downloaded the marching band music, 'colours' by roger cichy. it's fucking awesome. need i say more? i'm sooo excited for everything!! the oboe and the bassoon really add color to it, though...haha color. i didn't even mean it to be a pun! okay well anyway it's just great. i luv how burgundy encorporates everything and gets all jazzy for the part of blue sapphire...soo awesome. ohhh man. yeah. i'm happy. :0D o and about homecoming, i'm thinking i'll wait it out and see what happens. its still WAY early, and i could be asked by any number of guys between now and the dance... i'll just sit tight and wait for whatever comes.

i have a dilemma
so...there's like still 3 weeks till homecoming, right? my dilemma: not WHO to ask (i figure i'll have to do some asking to get who i want) but WHEN to ask. why is this an issue? i don't want to dissapoint anybody. i'm starting to get seriously afraid that if i don't ask sooner rather than later, i'll be asked. what to do? WHAT TO DO??

i feel like crap
wow. today was crap. like really really REALLY crap. nothing much happened that was bad except for maybe...marching band! ya think?

so yeah. since i've relived it about 3 times now, i'll make this as short as possible:

laurel fell today in marching band. she popped out her knee. i saw it happen. she was basically in shock. (as were the rest of us) we inwardly panicked while florendo called 911 and tried to reach her parents. we broke into sections and practiced horn manuals for amber until the paramedics came and took her away on a stretcher. then we tried to resume practice.

all of us were affected, especially christiana and i. it was just...scary. really really socking and scary. i still feel physically sick, as well as mentally awful and confused. as if we don't have enough stress in our lives...

a few good things that happened today:
-i sort of played match maker (and it worked!)
-mr. smith sang for us in girls' ensemble today...nice...
-we learned tai-chi and laughed about repulsing monkeys and stroking manes...and the football players joined the mockery...(hey, tai-chi is great, really relaxing, but repulse the monkey??!?! it took a lot to stay mature after the intensity of the day)
-the world studies test was generally easy

ok i'm done. still feel like crap. need a hug. need a boyfriend. hmm...i know exactly who i need too....ya know who? i think sarah does...haha lmao sarah. ;-)