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m&ms487

:: 2006 22 September :: 9.53am
:: Mood: contemplative

I went out to breakfast with my parents today. It was very, strange. I felt like I didn't belong to them anymore, however, that's not a bad thing. I think it startled them when I followed the waitres to the table, instead of following them following the waitress (I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but with my family the actions and unspoken moves you make are very important). I could see in their eyes that I had changed.
They are getting old. I could see it in their eyes. It feels so good not to live at home that I'm almost dreading the summer when I'll move back in.
They are on their way up to Beaver Island for a vacation.

I'm leaving today after my english class at noon. I'm going home, and they aren't going to be there, and it's going to be like old times.

I'm very excited for this weekend.

michelle

1 orgiastical | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 21 September :: 4.16pm

So i WAS going to the writing center to get someone intelligent to proofread my paper, however, they are closed at the moment. It's only four in the afternoon. How can they be closed?

Eh. My paper is too good for them anyway.

Right.

Michelle

1 orgiastical | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 20 September :: 10.11pm

I finally got done with my english paper. Who doesn't love Transcendentalism? Seriously.

michelle

4 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 20 September :: 2.28pm

I'm so tired. I feel like my head is so...confused. Perhaps it's just been from lack of sleep, although I've been getting eight hours a night. I really need to take a nap, but I can't for some reason.

It's horrible.

michelle

7 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 19 September :: 7.56pm

I am going to kill the piccolo player that sits next to me in U band.

I know how to play my fucking flute.

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 19 September :: 2.24pm

I can feel the wind cut through my sweater. That same sweater that seemed like last night, but so many nights ago, you gave me, to keep me warm. I recollect this moment not as a moment of passion, or love, or even burning desire, but of one of friendship, of caring, of compassion. The three of us went swimming together that night. I was so scared of the cold water. I'm not sure exactly why. My body was cold, but so was my soul. And underneath those stars, that night, my body was renewed in that water, with both of you, and I felt whole. I felt as if all the world was content. I was content. I was shivering from the cold midnight breeze, and I felt childish with the sand between my toes, but I was content. I was happy. That was how summers should be. That's how summer was.

michelle

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 18 September :: 1.29pm

When I grow up I'm going to be a teacher.

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 17 September :: 7.24pm

Do you remember when we went camping and made criss cross potatoes in the Wok?

Do you remember when we learned how to play Mau?

Do you remember how it was?

It was wonderful, wasn't it?

-michelle

2 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 15 September :: 6.50pm
:: Mood: crappy

I miss my music terribly.
I'm in University band, of course, but it's not enough.
I feel so empty without it.
I don't think you could ever understand what I mean.

michelle

1 orgiastical | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 15 September :: 6.36pm
:: Mood: contemplative

Friday. Music to my ears.

I only had one class today, but eh...I stil had to get up for it. I'm feeling a little under the weather. I hope I'm not getting too sick.

I'm coming home next weekend. Since everyone loves me so much, I'm sure my schedule is going to be jam packed. Right.

If you want to hang out, leave me a comment and I'll make some time for you inbetween eating my parent's food and watching T.V from the couch.

michelle

7 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 13 September :: 11.33pm

Sitting here in a computer lab that won't accept my flash drive because it's too new, and the printers don't have any toner so I can't print my Speech.

Lovely.

I'm going to get a job. Yay for me.

I'm going to bed now. To sleep. I like sleep. I love lamp. And the Romantics, they, well, they love nature.

2 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 12 September :: 5.26pm
:: Mood: crazy

I just got done eating dinner. They have some really good clam chowder here!

I've resigned myself to the fact, that yes, I actually do have to get a job-and soon.

It's so foggy out right now. I couldn't even see the towers from the library, and it's only like a quarter of a mile away.

We had some roommate bonding time last night. We sat in a circle in the bedroom with Korn blasting drinking out of some red solo cups.

I was just going to write something, and then I got distracted by the Macs in the corner, and now I can't remember what it was. But to be sure, it was an ingenious, witty observation.

My memory is starting to get the best of me.

Stop smokin'?

What do you think?

michelle

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 11 September :: 10.42am

I MADE A LINK!

you have no idea how fricken excited I am.

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 11 September :: 10.36am



Tell Me What You Think Of Me

2 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 11 September :: 9.54am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: She's Got Freckles

Wheatland
Wheatland was amazing. There were so many people having a good time. I even saw my CPS 100 professor there. It was Krazy.


I loved all the music. I loved all of the people. I loved being so mellow.

I especially loved the Greek pizza.
And I loved it not being the salt, too.

Everything will be okay now. I really needed that time. I'll be okay, and you'll be okay.

I can't wait until Red Flannel!

-michelle

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 7 September :: 7.29pm

Ah, I'm done with school for the week. I'm leaving early tomorrow morning to go to Wheatland with Rueben and his family. I'm not sure exactly how that's all going to be.

I'm doing my laundry right now, a much needed task, since I haven't done in the two weeks since I've been here.

michelle

2 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 6 September :: 9.55am

I hate receiveable accounting. They are stupid. They are mean. I hate them.

They suck.

They are stupid, stupid, stupid.

:(

They charged me for not paying my tuition, which, I did, on Friday.

They suck.

3 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 5 September :: 2.33pm

I just realized that I've had my journal here for four and a half years. That's crazy. I grew up here, with woohu. I could never thank Gunny enough for giving me this journal, as I'm sure many of you feel the same.

From eighth grade to Central, I've changed so much, just as the rest of us have.

I just thought I'd take a moment to reflect on that, since so much has happened these past four and half years that make me really amazed that I can go back and remember who and how I use to be.

I'm glad I'm here with all of you. I'm glad I'm still here, and you're here, and we all still can stay caught up.

Thank you Gunny!

michelle

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 5 September :: 2.28pm

I want to know everything in the entire world.
I want to meet everyone in the entire world.
Most of all, I want to feel everything I am able to feel.

Step out of the darkness,
And into the light.
The brightness may blind you,
But the chance is worthwhile.

michelle

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 4 September :: 8.33pm
:: Mood: calm

happy labor day.

mine was/is.

except they closed the cafeteria this weekend.

jackasses.

:)

the moths are fliting around the light-so close to a death that they cannot resist.

1 orgiastical | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 1 September :: 1.01pm

So, last night my roommates came home drunk, again. They opened the fridge and all of their beers crashed on the floor, making a loud noise. Then the RA's came in and looked around, and needless to say, although i wasn't drinking, i got my name taken.

This is my roommates' second offense in a week. They got an illegal drug violation the first night they were here. My other roommate is moving out due to finances, so i figure I'll be living alone here in a couple weeks. You get three violations and you are done at CMU. heh.

Anyway, told the parents so if they got a call they would know what's going on. It's all good. Hopefully. The worst thing that is going to happen is that I'll get a 150 dollar fine, which I'm not going to pay for because I didn't do anything. Whatever.

michelle

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 31 August :: 1.07pm
:: Mood: contemplative

So pretty much just chillin here in the library for a while. My next class is at three (my biology lecture). I really love this library. It's pretty neat.


When I woke up this morning, there was a guy sleeping on my living room floor. It was one of my roommates friends, but they had already left for class, Hollie and I just locked him in when we left.

Whatever.

The two of them (my two roommates) polished off eight beers last night. I showed them how to open them (they were glass bottles) on the edge of the desk.

I wonder what their livers are going to look like in twenty years.
it's pretty cool, i guess.

-michelle

6 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 30 August :: 3.25pm
:: Mood: pensive

We Wear the Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!


-Paul Dunbar

1 orgiastical | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 30 August :: 2.58pm

Okay, I have all my financial shit figured out. Right now I owe about two hundred dollars-which I can totally deal with. Whew!

Well, I believe I'm going to be in my hall government, so next year i can be a RA and get free room and board.

Lovely.

Michelle

[edit] And I only had to wait for an hour and fourty minutes in line!

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 30 August :: 10.38am
:: Mood: aggravated

Ugh.

i have to figure out all of this financial shit today.

The financial aid office is stupid, stupid, stupid.

They need to actually apply my financial aid to my account so i can take classes. Hmm, that's a new idea right there.

But, I have to go over and talk to them before my english class at noon.

Blah.

michelle

don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 28 August :: 10.16am

Plan B is now available without a prescription.


How did that ever happen with a Republican President? To tell you the truth, I don't care. I'm just glad it's happened.

3 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 28 August :: 10.03am
:: Mood: envious

I just had my first class- computers and society. It's a huge lecture class with about 250 people in it.

I feel so sheltered here sometimes. In the library the book shelves move along a track so they can be squished together or moved, to allow for more books in less space. I just found it so cool, considering the cedar library is about the size of my dorm room. Just little things like that make me feel like I was cheated out of some things growing up in cedar.

I'm getting along a little better with everyone. It is known in the towers that my floor is the party floor. As soon as the elevator doors open you can feel the bass. You can't really hear the bass (it's too loud), but you can defineately feel it. Our RA is cool too. He pretty much told us that he doesn't care what we do, as long as we don't drink in the dorm. A bunch of us were in the hallway Saturday night, defineatly not sober, talking to him. I made a sign and put it on his door that says,

" I want to be the little man who turns the light on and off in the fridge."

I do good work.

Next, I have my English class at noon. I'm actually excited about that, and hopefully everything goes well, considering English is most likely going to be my major.

When I was reading Jane Eyre in the study room yesterday, I met a really nice guy who lives down the hall. There are some cool people here at Central.

-Michelle

5 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 25 August :: 12.04pm
:: Mood: impressed

So, here at CMU now. Good fun. I'm in the library with Jackie.

I'm going to have to get use to all of this, I'm so tired from all the walking I've done already today.

I miss everyone already!

I have an ensemble audition on Tuesday! Classes start monday. I've gotten all of my books and things like that. It's quite exciting.

More to come, though, not as frequent as i might have hoped: until classes start i have to walk all the way to the library to update. I'm starting to hate moving. :)

michelle

2 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 23 August :: 3.47pm
:: Mood: intimidated
:: Music: I'll follow you into the dark - death cab

I'm leaving for Central tomorrow after my dentist appointment.

We went to IHOP last night, and then to Meijer, and then to the cemetery. Creepy shit.

Summer is over.
No more drunken nights of should be regrets, no more nights getting the shit scared out of us at the cemetery, no more lake parties, no more camping, no more going to work with a hang over.

Well, the last one, maybe...or not.

We'll see. I'm not quite sure what to make of this whole 'college' thing yet.

For some, an institution of higher education, for many others, well, what can I say? It's a party school after all.

3 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson


m&ms487

:: 2006 20 August :: 8.29am
:: Mood: exhausted

This is my last week here for a long time.

I called in sick today for work because, lucky me, I have a bad ass cold.

I'm leaving Thursday sometime. If you want to hang out, or give me kisses, or give me flowers, or give me presents, or write long nonsensical poems, or just want to have general relations with me, give me a ring before then.

Jessie, I know which one you want to do :).

Tomorrow is my last day of work, and fittingly I'm working until the desk closes.

Who knew!

Where are we going? We're going to a party, a birthday party, you're birthday party! Happy birthday darling, we love you

very
very
very
very
much.

Good morning everyone! Have a wonderful day.

2 orgiasticals | don't question bruce dickenson

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