skife
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2008 13 November :: 2.59am
I figured out the whole issue of "us" tonight.
we're two different people outside of privacy.
It just doesn't work that way.
9 comments |
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acidtears
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2008 12 November :: 11.14pm
:: Mood: amused
I HAVE MOVED!
I am now located at my new journal so my bff Samm d'Massacre can blog it up, Cedar style.
Give her a warm welcome, everyone!
Yeah, I'm done. Over and out, my dear.
So drive yourself insane tonight.
It's not that far away, and I
just filled up your tank earlier today.
[edit :: 3:46am]
Yeah I'm back, and I'm stronger than ever.
I love who I love.
I spend my time doing things I enjoy.
I 'waste my gas' driving around the places I like.
I laugh at things I find funny, offensive to you or not.
I hurt your feelings because I'm honest and I don't believe in sugarcoating anything.
Yes, sometimes I antagonize and push. I have my moods. So do you.
But! UNLIKE YOU, I'm carrying out my life in the aftermath of the decisions I made, not anyone else. My morals were chiseled in me from tried-and-learned experiences in my actual life, not handed down to me from my grandparents' bible.
Fuck you for almost making me believe I was less of a person for it.
Does it really matter what kind of vodka I drink - or that I drink at all? No. And yeah, I smoke, so fucking what? At least I can sleep in the bed I've made for myself, wake up every morning and be content with the life that greets me.
My parents don't love me based on what I choose to show them and what I keep hidden away under my bed so's not to 'disappoint.' No, my dad knows about my (gasp!) premarital sex and pregnancies. My mom can come sit on the porch with me and talk about our days over a cigarette. My grandparents have seen every tattoo on my body, and my little sisters aren't surprised at anything I say.
I don't keep secrets and my honest thoughts are the first in my mouth and through my barely-parted lips.
My family and (true) friends love me not because I'm perfect, but because I'm real.
At first I was going to abstain from all social websites, but decided to keep my woohu and facebook. However, MySpace, Trig, ModelMayhem, etc - are all dead and ground into the dust.
So the bitches with the drama can get a new hobby, because I'm perfectly content to manage my life without he-said-she-said.
Thanks.
* ps, I apologize if this lacks my usual prowess with words and prose. I'm better but STILL (a bit) bitter and so am ranting with my fingertips. Who the hell am I kidding? You guys understand ;]
5 comments |
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skife
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2008 12 November :: 2.51am
I guess this is the time of year for drama.
3 people i know with relationship issues right now.
1 person possibly going to jail.
and a whole slew of other problems.
6 comments |
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spud
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2008 11 November :: 1.14am
:: Music: Coldplay
ATTENTION!
Yo Internet Peeps:
My radio show is currently up and running. It has been for several weeks.
I'm sick of not having any listeners. The show sucks, because I don't try, because nobody listens, because I didn't advertise very well. Or at all.
So, I will be attempting to change this.
The show is currently: MONDAYS @ 4PM LISTEN HERE!
I'm thinking about doing a couple of themed shows. Maybe one entirely off of youtube, or one entirely of "red hot jazz" (think 1920s).
If you can't listen at that time, I totally understand. Which is why when I reschedule next semester, I will be asking for your input as far as what times on what days are good times to have my show, so I will hopefully have more listeners. Because I want to do something that everyone will enjoy, at a time that is convenient for them.
So, hopefully you can listen at that time for the next couple of months.
More updates will come later.
Peace,
Chris
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phil-himself
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2008 10 November :: 3.46pm
Lawls my insurance company gave me a PT Loser to drive while my chevy is getting fixed.
This has been a fun afternoon of abusing someone else's car.
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m&ms487
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2008 10 November :: 2.58pm
I haven't updated in a while. I haven't had time. No. That's incorrect. I haven't had the motivation.
Something is wrong. I'm sleeping all of the time and always tired. It's not depression. I went to the doctor's and they told me I had a viral infection and anemia. A week later, it should be better, but I slept for over twelve hours last night and I've been laying down every chance I get.
I went home on Sunday for a family reunion and the only things people said to me is that I look like a poster child for anorexia and I look tired. I've lost almost eighty pounds. I'm trying to stay stable at 130.
Although my test came back negative for mono, I still think I probably have it. Why else would I be so tired all of the time? Everything is suffering because of it: my grades, my attitude, my dealings with my friends and brothers.
I just want to wake up and be okay.
1 comment |
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skife
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2008 10 November :: 2.10am
:: Music: hank williams tear in my beer
1:
Theres a tear in my beer
cause Im cryin for you,
Dear you are on my lonely mind.
Into these last nine beers
I have shed a million tears.
You are on my lonely mind
Im gonna keep on sittin here
Until Im petriified.
And then maybe these tears
Will leave my eyes.
Theres a tear in my beer
cause Im crying for you, dear
You are on my lonely mind.
2:
Last night I walked the floor
And the night before
You are on my lonely mind.
It seems my life is through
And Im so doggone blue
You are on my lonely mind.
Im gonna keep on sittin here
Till I cant move a toe
And then maybe my heart
Wont hurt me so.
Theres a tear in my beer
cause Im cryin for you, dear.
You are on my lonely mind.
3
Lord, Ive tried and Ive tried
But my tears I cant hide
You are (were? ) on my lonely mind.
All these blues that Ive found
Have really got me down
You are on my lonely mind
Im gonna keep on drinkin till I cant even think
Cause in the last week I aint slept a wink
Theres a tear in my beer
Cause Im crying for you dear
You are on my lonely mind.
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phil-himself
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2008 9 November :: 12.27am
More bullshit, a fucking car wreck. Fucking Hell just what I needed tonight.
I would really like to be able to talk to a certain someone right now.
5 comments |
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skife
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2008 8 November :: 1.41am
I've no idea where I stand right now.
7 comments |
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skife
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2008 5 November :: 11.59pm
i thought the pornstar's husband was going to rat everyone out.
FUCKING CLASSIC!!!
2 comments |
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skife
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2008 31 October :: 1.17am
FYI: my turds are tapered.
also, i bowled a 163, 149, and 169 tonight.
my average is 147
3 comments |
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skife
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2008 30 October :: 4.18pm
You have confirmed your interview schedule on 11/6/2008 at 4:00 PM. Please report to the HR office at Sears Auto Center. For more information, please call 6162857721.
4 comments |
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spud
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2008 29 October :: 1.26am
:: Mood: contemplative
recollections
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i feel like i've lost a lot of my pizzazz. (or maybe you spell it pissass. depending on how many laxatives i took that day.) you know? i feel like i used to have more vitality, more everything. not that i was a driven, self-motivated type of person. not that i was spastic or rambunctious. i just feel like i had an undercurrent of motion that just isn't there anymore.
nowadays i let the simplest things prevent me from getting anything done, and i really don't feel the need to try and innovate, or make new things happen. i'm content to attempt, and fail, to merely recreate those which have come before. nothing outstanding. nothing superb. i just settle for okay.
but that really doesn't seem right. i don't want just an okay life. i don't want just okay friends. okay coworkers. okay family. that's not how it works for me. i feel like everything about my life up to this point has been outrageous. and now it's just mellowing out. i guess it's my job to keep it outrageous. but i have a lot of fucking jobs right now, which i guess is what's bogging me down. so, adding the job of unbogging myself to the pile doesn't really work. it'll just exacerbate the problem.
so, i just need to get a few things out of the way, one at a time, so that i have a bit more freedom to have some of that guilt-free, sporadic, funtime. where my energy is put to its most effectively pragmatic use. because clearly i don't get shit done when it comes to actual work. but give me something fun to do, and i'll forget to eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom, i'm so diligent.
and faking myself out to think that the "work" stuff is actually "fun" stuff doesn't cut it. believe me, i've tried. although, i have discovered that some of the "fun" stuff is actually "work". but since it falls under "fun" in my classifications, i can still do that, at least.
i guess we'll make it happen eventually. and until then, i'll just have to tough it out. but i want to be fun and exciting again. none of this boring, grumpy, old man nonsense. that suits me at times. but i don't think this should be one of those times.
i'll get there, and i'll enjoy it. but i'm not there yet. and there's no sense in rushing it.
1 comment |
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skife
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2008 27 October :: 11.37am
the sun came out today.
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