:: 2006 20 March :: 8.24 pm

.........
and..........
what about?.........

yar

"p.s. I love you, forever and today"

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:: 2006 16 March :: 9.17 pm

You guys don't even know the half of it. I get my heart crushed by the one I love during our relationship, over and over again. I didn't ever want to confront that it wasn't going in the right direction. Once I did and realized how bad of a situation I was in, to the point of tears in front of her face and her not helping me out, I thought that everything she ever convinced me of it not working out was true. So I do, I get out of it. You all call me a hypocrite, and I don't know what to say. Yes, I was really angry when I first found out that she had already moved on within the first week. Then I got to thinking that maybe she was right, maybe she was right all along. So, I simply agreed with her and tried to move on myself. So you're angry with me for agreeing with you. You ever stop to think why I didn't say anything? I was so hurt by the news of her moving on fast, that I wanted to give her time until I could tell her and feel safe about it. I wanted you to all know at the same time, not it be some big secret behind her back. So, I simply kept it to myself. All of you are so angry with me that it's hard to explain when you don't even see where I'm coming from. But hey, according to you all I fucked up, and did big time. You've called me worse than allan, a bitch, and everything else under the sun. With as much of a friend as you were trying to pose for me to tell you things, you've all slit my throat pretty fast. I'm serious, I am absolutely ripped to shreds here. I don't even know what to do or where to start. Funny thing is that I NEVER invalidated any of you like you are to me right now, and as much as I am hurting, I don't intend to either. So fine, you can play your fucking game of killing me, but your prize sure seems set on who can do it the fastest.

So all of you are hurt, because I didn't tell you something and kept it on the inside in order to keep problems from happening, and you can't see my thoughts behind that. Makes me wonder what you have kept from me, what you have done to me in order to get so upset with me in the first place. I surely wouldn't treat any of you like this if I found out you had a secret, but simply be a friend.

sights set on kill,
Jeremiah

thanks for killing me, every last bit. I can't even feel any feelings anymore. And I can't believe how happy all of you are at such a wonderful job of destroying me.......


p.s. I don't hate any of you. I don't have any ill feelings what so ever. As much as this hurts, I never will.

4 Whats | up

:: 2006 15 March :: 10.53 pm

I just want to slit my throat and bleed life away.....
In trying to handle things the best I could, the whole world blows up in my fucking face! I guess that means that I'm just a horrible person then, huh?

Sorry to all of you, I wish you could just stab me so i could satisfyingly bleed the tears out...

Fuck...
Jeremiah

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:: 2006 14 March :: 8.53 pm

I don't think I'll ever stop getting disappointed. Maybe I'll just have to stop expecting things, then it'll be impossible to do. Maybe......

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:: 2006 13 March :: 12.37 am

When the omnipotent god asks me how I want to die, the first thought that runs through my mind is "fighting for her". Fighting for anything else would be a waste of a body and an entire lifetime.

love, Jeremiah

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:: 2006 10 March :: 8.35 pm

I took the age quizzy thing....
and I came out 14......
haha....hehe....good times good times.

1 What | up

:: 2006 9 March :: 11.37 pm

This is all part of our......


Storybook Romance

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:: 2006 8 March :: 9.03 pm

Why do I have a ridiculous obsession with love?

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:: 2006 7 March :: 11.17 pm

"Love is a many, spendid thing, love, lift us up where we belong,all you need is love"

1 What | up

:: 2006 6 March :: 7.51 am
:: Mood: ticked off

Okay, I think I've behaved myself pretty well. But I'm sick of being looked at as a bad person, or an evil man or whatever. I didn't do anything wrong, okay? I didn't just fucking "fall in love". God. I spilled my entire heart, and now I'm hated for loving. That's just fricked up. I'm done.

sin afinidad,
Jeremiah

3 Whats | up

:: 2006 5 March :: 8.24 am

I eat cookies in bed along with chocolate milk, stay up past my bedtime, watch too much tv, sleep in my clothes at times, straighten my hair, sleep in too long, wear baby blue pajamas, put on girl pants to wear around town along with a hoodie....
and these are all qualities of me "growing up".....? Hmm, growing up isn't so bad when you just have fun with it.

I think I'm gonna be able to go to the Fall Out Boy concert at the Tacoma dome! I think the All American Rejects are gonna be there too! It's gonna be fucking tight.

"Where is your boy tonight, I hope he is a gentlemen. Maybe he won't find out what I know, you were the last good thing about this part of town"

Missing the infatuation of my bleeding heart,
Jeremiah

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:: 2006 1 March :: 11.25 pm
:: Mood: frusterated
:: Music: The Music or the Misery, Fall Out Boy

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:: 2006 23 February :: 7.41 am
:: Mood: sad....

"The Music Or The Misery"

I got my stitches stitched, I got my fixes fixed,
In my aching head, I got my kisses slit.
Our gossip lips stuttered every word I said, I said,
I got your love letters, corrected the grammar and sent them back.
It's true romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head.

And if you wanna go down in history then I'm your prince,
Because they've got me in a band where I've never seen a heart I couldn't break.
It was never about the songs, it was competition.
Make the biggest scene, make the biggest...

Which came first, the music or the misery?
We're high-fashion, we're last chances.
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We're high-fashion, we're last chances.

I'm casualty-obsessed and I've forgiven death,
I am indifferent, yet (I am a total wreck)
I'm every cliche, but I simply do it best.

And if you wanna go down in history then I'm your prince,
Because they've got me in a band where I've never seen a heart I couldn't break.
It was never about the songs, it was competition,
Make the biggest scene, make the biggest...

Which came first, the music or the misery?
We're high-fashion, we're last chances.
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We're high-fashion, we're last chances.

(Go!)

I went to sleep a poet, and I woke up a fraud,
To calm your nerves I'm feeling for my clothes and the door.

Which came first, the music or the misery?
We're high-fashion, we're last chances.

Which came first, the music or the misery?
We're high-fashion, we're last chances.
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We're high-fashion, we're last chances.


"I would still give up my life, just to have it work out......"

2 Whats | up

:: 2006 20 February :: 7.25 am
:: Mood: cold!
:: Music: Papa Roach- Scars

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:: 2006 19 February :: 5.37 pm

I've been thinking a lot lately. A lot. And I think for the first time, I'm actually okay with things working out the way they are. I'm gonna be okay with the priorities over-ruling me. For the first time I'm actually at peace with myself and don't have any abberation on the thought of love. I think I can survive and not go into the abyss of depression and sorrow. Be on my own two legs, and let everybody else be on theirs. Just grant beingness, that's all I have to do.


Thank you for teaching me how to love

2 Whats | up