Emology

Emology

:: 2005 24 December :: 10.44 am

This world is really starting to make me not happy. My mom is still a total psycho drug taking bitch. God she's a whore. My brother is doing better, but still a dick. Even my dad is acting different...... I'm starting to feel the effects of being alone. I know that she is here, but that's different than her actually being around me and hanging out and stuff. It sucks not knowing how long I'm gonna be stuck in seattle before I can come back home and visit. However I am excited to move into a new place, a place of my own. I just......I don't know how this relationship is going to fare against time and distance. I hope that it all works out though. My heart just seems to grow heavier with every moment that passes by. I love her......

"So am I, still waiting, for this world to stop hating?"

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:: 2005 20 December :: 2.54 pm

I miss my babykins.....

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:: 2005 17 December :: 10.43 am

Boy did I sleep shittily last night. I guess you could say like crap. Up till bout two in the morning till I got to sleep, room mate woke me up at four cause he was cleaning before he left at five, then when he did leave, I couldn't sleep for like and hour and a half. I wanted to get a good sleep too. Sad :( . Ah well, hopefully I can do that tonight. All I need to do is safely get back to Spokane. It looks like it's gonna happen too, so I'm happy. Weather is okay, hopefully it could be better tomorrow though.

I'm a little worried about moving to Seattle. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to go, it's only the relationship part I'm worried about. I might be tied up even more up there, or at least for a while, until I can visit my pookins again. I don't know how it's all going to work out, but I sure hope it does. We'll just have to talk about it.

"My face sheds another tear"

:: 2005 17 December :: 12.20 am

Porque nunca me llamaste?

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:: 2005 12 December :: 6.35 pm

Star above me I can see
Far away as can be
Don't know why aren't together
Won't accept this fate forever

Strings from my heart for you to pull
Wings on the sides, and completely full
Of happiness and butterflies
Love that soars across the skies

Carries me all the way
Buries behind it my dismay
I want to tell you how I feel
Shy my breath it's here to steal

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:: 2005 12 December :: 6.34 pm

Been thinking of you
Don't know what to do
So I sigh
Almost cry
Look around
You're nowhere to be found
A hug is all I need
My heart starts to bleed
With your absence here
My face sheds a tear
Don't want to be alone
Affection is all you've shown
Stay up till dawn
Wondering where you've gone
With you on my mind
Wanting life to rewind
To prove myself to you
Give that which is due
Lie here in bed
Tears are shed
Sleep alone tonight
Hug my pillow tight
Check next to me
Nothing to see
Don't know what to do
Been thinking of you......

:: 2005 12 December :: 2.34 pm

Happy one year one month honey

"When I look at the stars!"

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:: 2005 11 December :: 10.14 pm

I'm such a dissappointment....there is so much shit I need to just write and get out right now. But, I'll just suck it up like always I suppose.....

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:: 2005 11 December :: 1.38 pm
:: Mood: frustrated

Gah. Stupid game, stupid computer, stupid bed, stupid tv, stupid body, stupid internet, stupid belly, stupid room, stupid people, stupid dreams, stupid other guys, stupid town, stupid relegion, stupid hair, stupid contacts, stupid time, stupid everything....

:: 2005 10 December :: 10.36 am

First name?: Jeremiah
Middle name?: Antonio
Like your name?: Henderson
Named after anyone?: No, just a song
Any nicknames?: JerkyJoe,Jemiah,Timothy,Jman,J-rod,Jerry
Age?: 18
Birthdate?: May 17th, 1987
Birthplace?: Portland, Oregon
Time you were born?: No idea
Current location?: Psh, Rexburg Idaho
Height?: 5'8"
Like your height?: It's okay, could be taller
Eye color?: brown/green
Contacts/glasses?: Contacts
Hair color?: Black
Natural hair color?: Black
Dye your hair often?: No, did, might again sometime
Righty or lefty?: Righty
Your favorite...
Type of music?: Alternitave Rock
Band or singer?: Sum 41
TV show?: Comedy Central/ Who's Line Is It Anyway?
Movie?: Moulin Rouge
TV channel?: Comedy Central
Radio station?: none
Place to be?: In my lover's arms
Thing to do?: Cuddle up in a blanket with her and watch "scary" movies
Food?: Pizza/Hamburgers/Curry
Non alcoholic drink?: Root Beer
Alcoholic drink?: Not possible to say
Animal?: Tiger
Holiday?: Christmas(in the old days)
Season?: Summer
Sport?: Baseball
Place to shop?: The mall
Clothing brand?: Under Armour(teehee)
Scent?: Chocolate
Restaurant?: Chili's
Fruit?: Grapes?(too many good ones to choose from!)
Vegetable?: Carrots
Fast food restaurant?: Taco Bell
Pizza topping?: Pepperoni and Sausage
Ice cream flavor?: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Magazine?: PSM
City?: Spokane
Color?: Red
Number?: 1
This or that...
Chocolate or vanilla?: Chocolate
Pepsi or coke?: Pepsi
Hot or cold?: Hot
Black or white?: gah.....both
Dog or cat?: Cat
French toast or pancakes?: Mmm.....French Toast(unless they are banana pancakes)
French fries or onion rings?: French Fries
Hamburger or hot dog?: Hamburger
Pepperoni or sausage?: Pepperoni
Britney or Christina?: Christina
McDonalds or Burger King?: Burger King
50 Cent or Eminem?: neither
Canada or Mexico?: Mexico baby!
Hug or kiss?: Kiss
Movies or TV?: uh, movies
Truth or dare?: Truth
Do you...
Shower daily?: Not everyday, no
Sing in the shower?: Sometimes
Like to sing?: uh, when I sound okayish I guess
Like to dance?: no, not good at it
Smoke?: No way
Drink?: only non-alcoholic beverages!
Cuss?: Yes, favorite is Son of a Bitch!
Talk to yourself?: at times
Believe in yourself?: Yep
Play an instrument?: No
Go to school?: Sorta
Go to college?: Halfies
Have a job?: Not yet
Like your job?: Don't know, don't have one
Want to get married?: Fuck yeah
Want to have kids?: Shit yeah
Get along with your parents?: In a weird sort of way I guess
Get along with your siblings?: Not really, he's a dick
Drive?: Yes
Random...
Do you think you're trustworthy?: Yes
Think your funny?: Yes
Ever toilet papered someones house?: No
Gone garbage can tipping?: No(why would you do that?)
What are your parents names?: Herb and Rulene
Siblings names?: Ryan
Do you wash your hands frequently?: Not really, no
How many time a day do you brush your teeth?: Once or twice
Collect anything?: martial art everything
Ever been in love?: Yeah baby!
In love right now?: Of course!
What color pants are you wearing right now?: Blue
How does your hair look?: Bed head
Ever had your heartbroken?: I couldn't say yes
Ever broken the law?: Speeding I guess
Been arrested?: No
Been out of the country?: You mean, this isn't mexico?!
Can you stick your fist in your mouth?: Haha, no
When was the last time you got drunk?: A lifetime ago
Do you do drugs?: Nope
When was the last time you were high on anything?: A few lifetimes ago
Do you prefer the lights on or off?: for what?
Would you ever get plastic surgery?: Only on my butt, jkjk
Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: How about boxer-briefs?
Do you like to laugh?: I do
Ever had a bloody nose?: Yep, plenty of times
Have you ever caught a fish?: Of course
What was the last thing you ate?: Pizza I think
What time do you go to bed?: Whenever I want
What's your favorite color?: Red(wasn't that asked?)
Do you like to give or recieve?: Uh, give, but I like to recieve too!
Are you obsessed with anything/anyone?: Martial arts, my girl
Do you live alone?: No, I wish(I hate these people!)
Do you own a blender?: No sir
Do you like the snow?: Not really
Ever been up a mountain?: I don't remember, so maybe
Ever been rootin'?: What the hell is that?
Do you like surprises?: Yep(why would I hate them?)

P.S. Hope you've found peace skyler.

:: 2005 6 December :: 10.31 pm

Wow, I REALLY do not want to go back. I could even leave my shit there and I almost wouldn't give a shit. And the drive is going to suck so much ass too. Thanks for having fun with me while I was here everybody. Good times at the mall with Brooke, hanging with Christina and Zuzu, doing stuff with Kellen, and most of all, loving my Amelia. Take care while I'm away, and I'll see you in a little bit. Wish me look on my drive.

Love, Jeremiah

"It's not a square, it's a quadrangle"

:: 2005 27 November :: 11.00 pm

I'm sorry honey. Just really stressed right now. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you babe.

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:: 2005 25 November :: 7.34 pm

Wow. I had a ton of fun today. Amelia, Brooke, and I all went to the mall. We ate pizza, walked around a ton until we found some girl pants to try on. They weren't for Amelia or Brooke either, they were for me. So we found a really nice pair that we all liked, then got me a pair of boxor-briefs. That was a long, akward search in itself too. After we went to the sport store and I got a black long-sleeved under armour shirt. It is awesome! Then we found a bathroom where I could change into my new outfit. It was really akward wearing girl pants and just a tight under armour shirt at first, but both Amelia and Brooke made me feel comfortable, and I really like my outfit. Then Amelia had to go to work (sad *tear*) and I got to meet her boss (weird guy) and see her co-workers. She didn't look very happy on the job(who would be?), but it was nice to see her working. Oh man, on my ride home there was this crotchity old man that was staring at me, then he made the "retarted" sign with his finger and head, so I stared at him. I stared till he looked back and saw me staring, and I kept looking at him and he shook his head. It was really quite sad, just how people can just judge you from your front cover like that. I feel like I "know" what it is like to be emo now though, and the flexibility you yourself actually have. People will look at you and judge, so you can actually do whatever the hell you want back at them. I felt like acting even more "gay" at him just to piss him off more. But I didn't, I might in the future though....... I found that I feel so comfortable when I am around Amelia and Brooke, they know me for me, and like me for me. It's the best feeling in the world. I know why I like them so much *smile*. Zuzu even liked my pants, which made me feel good. Thanks Bazuzu! Oh yeah! That Jessica stalker chick totally found out I have a girlfriend somehow, which is kinda good because I'm getting really sick of her. The funny thing is that she said that she wasn't going to "give up". Yeah......so I talked with Brooke about it, and I'm going to totally tell her off with all of the love and dedication I have to Amelia. I love you baby! Overall GREAT DAY!

"Jeremiah.......you look gay......heehee"

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:: 2005 18 November :: 8.34 pm

.............*sigh*.............

:: 2005 17 November :: 8.55 pm

Questions:
Why am I such a "ladies man"?
Why is my brother suck a dick?
Why has my mom started to act nice?
Why has Allan totally turned into a wierdo?
What am I going to eat right now?
When are they coming for clean check?
When do I go in to change my tires tomorrow?

Yeah, I'm pretty tired.

"Do you trust me?"

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