Jaganshi
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2006 28 April :: 6.16pm
New GM Struggles with Existing Paradigms!
Read more..
Introsane?
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Jaganshi
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2006 28 April :: 6.12pm
An update some few of you will be able to understand.
I just had an odd request from a high school speech friend of mine. I said hi and the first thing he did was ask me for the whereabouts of Caleb. Now, I realize that in high school I was the only one who knew half the time where the boy was or why. I realize that I stuck by him for nearly two years even though that junkie wasn't exactly the best thing to have in my life. He didn't have anyone else, because no one else would have been able to handle being with him. No one else deserved it, so I stayed instead and everyone knew it.
But two years after the fact... apparently people still expect it to be true. Joe seemed... sad that he hadn't spoken to Caleb in two years, and that he'd never probably see him again. I told Joe that I cut ties with him after graduation. This was largely due to certain actions on Caleb's part after graduation that really don't need to be hashed over again.
It's just strange to have that reminder again. Even weirder is that it comes after a very.... odd dream that I had last night. Something about Caleb and a non-descript friend of his waiting for me in a men's room to rape me. Then I tried to get a cop to go with me and he asked me if it could wait because he was taking a break. Odd behavior for a policeman.
Maybe I'll try to think more about what that dream means, especially when you factor in the introduction of the topic into a totally unrelated conversation. I'm either superstitious, fatalistic, or simply don't believe in coincedence. However you want to see it, this is strange to me.
If nothing else, it reminds me of how much better off I am now than I was in high school. I don't regret anything that I did. I don't regret the (arguably undeserved) devotion to someone like Caleb. I forget who explained it to me this way, but she was right when she told me, "You're the most important person in his life. I just don't think that you're the most important thing." For a while that was enough. It never will be enough again, though. I had never been with anyone who told me I was beautiful without the obvious motive of squirming his way into my pants, or anyone who sincerely told me that he loved me. Most of the boys I've known have loved me the way a smoker loves nicotine gum. A pale substitute for what they really want, but for now it's better than what they've lost.
I won't say that they didn't have their reasons. Caleb's first love died of a drug overdose. He watched her die. Link...well, there was Tara. I shouldn't have to explain it that much further. I can't blame them, but I can say that I'll never sacrifice myself to people like them again.
Introsane?
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aerii
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2006 19 April :: 6.36am
I'm gonna make damn sure that you can't ever leave
No, you won't ever get too far from me
You won't ever get too far from me
Introsane?
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aerii
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2006 18 April :: 6.04pm
i dont know what to say....
1 Comment |
Introsane?
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aerii
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2006 16 April :: 5.09pm
you are everything I want
cause you are everything I'm not
1 Comment |
Introsane?
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aerii
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2006 14 April :: 5.54am
hehe
<3
2 Comments |
Introsane?
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aerii
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2006 9 April :: 1.07pm
i really do not want to do more wasl testing.
oh lauren, did you know it was me and ori that pulled up next to you and ryan the other night, cause it totally was. we followed you all the way up the hill.
p.s. i am hungry-ish
1 Comment |
Introsane?
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xxblazexx
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2006 6 April :: 10.44pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: American Baby//Dave Matthews Band
Spring Break
Yeah, it has been pretty lax around here.
Dad and I did some driving--I'm practicing in a stick.
Drive classes are this summer and he's already
making me speed down the highway.
x_X
I have to study up for the Accuplacer so I can qualify
for Running Start. I'm trying to be productive.
It's working...kind-of.
♥
1 Comment |
Introsane?
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NNY
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2006 6 April :: 8.08pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: Speed over Beethoven... IT WON'T GET OUT OF MY MIND!!!!
It's been too long, old friend...
Well, It's been awhile, hasn't it? I swear, MYSPACE IS EVIL!!! IT TAKES OVER YOUR LIFE!!!! DON'T GIVE INTO IT'S NAZI WAYS!!!!! BLARCK!!!!! >.<
OK, so, anyway... SPRING BREAK IS COMING UP! WOO HOO! Lynne invited me to go to Florida with her. This is gonna be one hell of an adventure, lemme tell you. Us. In a car together. For two days. 0.0 I do so pity her family. Well, I'm excited. I'll grab me some SCUBA gear, go out in the middle of the ocean, fire up grill, and roast me some shark! Woo... Never mind. I went and saw our school musical Beauty and the Beast the other night. It was cute... Except Michael Daughterman AKA Jesus was the Beast... Damn you! He's in everything... EVERYTHING. 0.0 It's kinda frightening... Like elbows only worse. Well, it happened. All these little chitlins dressed up and danced in the isles, and the little girl behind me was afraid of the beast so she began to cry... But yeah. It was good. Woo hoo Anderson! Beat that, Turpin swine!
GUESS WHAT? MY FATHER BOUGHT ME THE MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA DVD!!!!! YAY!!!!! ^.^ I was so happy!!!! He was with his woman, NP (my sister and I call her NP because when we first met her she had absolutely no personality, but since than I've grown to kinda like her, so it's all good. She bought me a little toy bunny! ^_^), and he was all "KRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTYYYYYY.... ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got you a present!" At first I wasn't too excited because no offense, but usually my Dad gets me really crappy gifts. YOU DON'T BUY A GIRL A DVD PLAYER ON HER 13TH BIRTHDAY WHEN THERE ARE ALREADY DVD PLAYERS IN EVERY ROOM!!!!! So, I was just kinda... Meh... But then he whips out this beautiful DVD! I laughed, I cried, I made a milkshake... OK, so I didn't make a milkshake... Or cry... Or laugh really... But I was really really happy! YAY! It was a great relief after my TV decided to break on the night they aired the last FMA episode. I WAS SO PISSED! I MISSED SALLY GETTING SHOT IN THE FACE BY ROBO-ARCHER, AND ENVY TURN INTO A DRAGON (Apparently)! But, that DVD made me happy again. I guess I'll just have to wait until they show that episode again. *Sigh*
So. We have to swim in gym. It blows. Sarita, John and I carry on, though. But let me tell you, those damn sharks are getting to vicious. Blast them. THE RAINBOW DEATH BALL POPPED TODAY!!!! It was so sad! Many emo tears were cried... MANY. :( I also got stabbed in the head with a chair. It wasn't to pleasant. In fact, it hurt quite a bit. It still does hurt. Stupid chair! I thought it was my friend... Asshole. Katie and I battled today. I called her a stereotypical angry teen and she got all pissed and started yelling about how much I sucked as she kicked me. I thought it was pretty funny, but she was really pissed. Oh well, what else is new?
Also, yesterday the Holocaust survivor Gerda Weissmann Klein came and talked to her today, AND I LOVE HER. 0.0 She was the cutest little old lady ever! ^.^ She told us all about her experiences, what she went through (like the death march, the work camp, and how her best friend died in her arms), and how proud we should be to live in America. She basically told us things every child should here. This may sound dumb, but she really did make me feel like I could do anything I wanted to do. She encouraged me in a way that my family sometimes doesn't, and she makes me feel like there are actually good caring people in the world that believe in me. FOR ALL YOU EMO KIDS: Be happy you're alive. She brought up a good point, about how even when all her family and friends had died around her, and she was in a living Hell, she still wanted to live and survive. She wanted to breathe, and live for those that she lost. Be lucky your life will never get that bad (hopefully) and open your eyes. Wider. Wider. So wide they almost fall out of your head. There! See it? All the people that love and support you? Your home, your friends, your family... Be thankful it's yours. Hold onto your good memories and think of those instead of all the bad things and life will be much greater. She reassured me of that. On top of that, she signed my book and hugged me. I truly am honored and grateful. Thank you, Gerda, I'll never forget your lesson.
OH! ANOTHER THING! OK, people, if you have one of those spiffy little shaky flashlights where all you have to do is shake it and it will turn on, NEVER EVER EVER LET IT NEAR YOUR COMPUTER. IT WILL EAT IT'S SOUL. 0.0 I'm dead serious. I was playing around with mine in front of the computer, and I noticed that when I moved it, the screen moved cool! I was mystified, so I placed the flashlight on the screen in the bottom left hand corner and it turned pretty colors! It made me very happy, but then those colors kind of, um, stayed. Now they won't go away. It kind of blows, that little section of the screen is all green and it changes the color of the webpage in that section. *Sigh* Oh well, just don't do it.
We got a superior rating at our chorus contest! Yay!
I didn't get to see the episode of EMOgelion where Asuka goes all crazy. Boo.
Well... I think that's it. For now. I know you didn't just read all of that, but if you did, I salute you!
QUIZ TIME!!!!!!!
I made this! Isn't it pretty?
I made this too. I've been in an EMOgelion mood, lately...
Butterfly
Spry, cheeky and flirtatious! You love Asian pop culture and thrive on Pocky and candy colours. You enjoy attention lavished upon your pretty self. You want a partner who knows how to have fun. No wallflowers for you! What's your DDR theme?
 | You scored as Posh. Like Victoria, aka Posh Spice, you have a taste for the finer things in life. It's important to you to look stylish and classy, but there is more to you than just that. You love your family and are well-suited to domestic life... and the servants that come with it, of course.
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What Spice Girl are you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
| You scored as Maes Hughes. You are Maes Hughes, you won't shut up about the things you love. You are very friendly and people enjoy being with you. Good job, you got my favorite dude!
Maes Hughes | | 83% | Edward Elric | | 67% | Winry Rockbell | | 50% | Alex Luis Armstrong | | 50% | Roy Mustang | | 17% | Alphonse Elric | | 17% |
Which Full Metal Alchemist Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
I'M SPENT!!!!!
Introsane?
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