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I would give up forever to touch you.

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:: 2005 21 April :: 6.12 am
:: Mood: loving

I'm so scared that
The way that I feel
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room
I wanna find a hiding place
We used to laugh
We used to hug
The way that old friends do
But now a smile and
A touch of your hand
Just makes me come unglued
It's such a contradiction
Do I lie or tell the truth?
Is it fact or fiction
The way I feel for you?

It's so complicated
I'm so frustrated
I wanna hold you close
I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go
I wanna make you stay
Should I say it
Should I tell you
How I feel?
Oh, I want you to know
But then again I don't
It's so complicated.

Just when I think
I'm under control
I think I finally got a grip
Another friend tells me that
My name is always
On your lips
They say I'm more
Than just a friend
They say I must be blind
Well I admit that
I've seen you watch me
From the corner of your eye
Oh it's so confusing
I wish you'd just confess
But think of what I'd be losing
If your answer wasn't yes

It's so complicated
I'm so frustrated
I wanna hold you close
I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go
I wanna make you stay
Should I say it
Should I tell you
How I feel?
Oh, I want you to know
But then again I don't
It's so complicated.

I hate it 'cause
I've waited so long
For someone like you
Should I say it
Should I tell you
How I feel?
Oh I want you to know
But then again I don't
It's so complicated


1 do. | Love.


:: 2005 20 April :: 9.28 pm
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: Vindicated :: Spiderman 2

Trace the moment for forever.
I leave for state competition tomorrow morning at 6:50 am. God [or the subaudible] help me.

Let me slip away.

My hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption...

I gave Nick a rough sketch today, it was good for only being half done and taking 10 minutes. He gets the next painting, along with Kate.

I am so scared to go to competition. I am shaking. I have to pack, but I don't want to start yet. I should be studying right now, but I am not.

I am certain that I'm vindicated.

Love.


:: 2005 20 April :: 4.18 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: Almost :: Bowling for Soup

I almost wish you would have loved me too.

Beauty is seen, regardless of shape, size, religion, race, and wealth... by the person who loves you.

I almost wrote a song about you today but I tore it all up and then I THREW IT AWAY!

And I am glad you never loved me too.

Then I threw a couple of punches at my purple wall and almost broke my stupid Maryln Monroe.
Then when that was done I screamed.
Than I cried, and wished I could take myself back.

I want to take myself back.

Love.


:: 2005 19 April :: 6.45 pm
:: Mood: loving

I looked away, then I looked back at you.
You tried to say, things that you can't undo.
If I had my way, I'd never get over you.
Today's the day, I pray that we make it through.

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

And I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation, I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it, 'cause I'm in love with you.

You're the only one, I'd be with till the end.
When I come undone, you bring me back again.

Back under the stars
Back into your arms

And I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation, I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it, 'cause I'm in love with you.

Wanna know who you are.
Wanna know where to start.
I wanna know what this means.

Wanna know how you feel.
Wanna know what is real.
I wanna know everything...everything.

And I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation, I just wanna cry in front of you.
And I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation, I just wanna cry in front of you.
And I don't wanna talk about it, 'cause I'm in love with you...I'm in love with you

4 do. | Love.

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