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2005 19 April :: 5.58 pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Kiss the Girl :: The Little Mermaid
Flushed.
Have you ever been excited and can't exactly place where that excitement is coming from? My Dad just came home and we talked about compeition and I was bummed about it but now I don't know. My dad makes me just feel better. I know thats corny. We talked about college too and I am just so... eager to go now. He has so much faith in me and now I see why he critisizes me, because I am his only hope.
I am just so... I don't know. Right now I am filled with this feeling that everything if going to turn out alright. Everything. Guys, school, jobs, competition, writing, drawing... just everything!
I just feel so refreshed and so happy. I feel like... well like ME! I feel so creative and so inspired and so intelligent and so... able. You know? I don't know. I am really really happy. Maybe its a mixture of what happenned today. I got the greatest phone call... of all time! It made me cry! I don't know. I just have so much faith in life now. I don't know. I love it. How many times have I said 'I don't know'? Probably a lot. Not even Wilkins could bring me down right now. I don't know.
Its so wonderful when somebody does something for you that is.... beyond words and tells you all this amazing things. I feel like the Little Mermaid! I don't know! lol. Gosh I can't stop smiling!
I hearby forgive everyone out there that has ever done anything wrong to me, and I now say that I hope we can start fresh.
I know its corny but I also want to tell Kate thanks. She is like my mom. I know how gay that sounds but she is. She is my best friend and my mom rolled into one and I don't know what I would do without you! I am actually making you something special for a special day and I hope you will like it!
Oh well.... anything else?
I LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love. |
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2005 18 April :: 6.23 pm
:: Mood: pessimistic
Melissa A. Gelesky is a stupid cocksucking whore.
2 do. |
Love. |
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2005 17 April :: 9.02 pm
:: Mood: drained
Into the twilight sky these dark eyes do see,
hopes and prayers wished upon in the night's dream,
they are the only part of me which are truely free.
They cast faint light into this world of darkness and fools,
Broken hearts shuffle across this empty dance floor.
I twirl around avoiding my reflection in the ocean's pools,
repeating what was once done before.
The swirling betrayals of my dance partner stings,
but these tears in my eyes block the reality I wish not to see.
The broken promise lies tightening around my hand in the form of a ring,
Pulling us tighter and tighter together, urging me not to flee.
I fall faster into your arms losing my resistance,
love brought me here and you don't know why you stay,
I close my eyes and beg for your assistance.
You tighten your grip around my arm and I softly pray.
But you let me go,
and I awake still feeling something that was never there.
4 do. |
Love. |
::
2005 17 April :: 7.14 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: I'm already taken :: Steve Wariner
I rip my heart open.
I am not even going to write about this weekend because I don't have the time and yeah. lol.
Today I went shopping and bought an outfit to wear for competiton from Gap. Go me. Its pretty cute [or at least I think so]. I still need to buy some shoes [Kate do you want to go with me? Let me know later.]
My mom is moving out of Richard's house today and tomorrow. Poor her [please note my sarcasm].
I rip my heart open.
I can't explain what happenned. Somewhere between where I wanted to be and where I am, I got lost. Everything caved in on me, and I went to the bottle. I am so stupid. I just want to forget everything, drink myself to sleep.
I still love you more than anything in the world, love your baby girl.
Love. |
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