Paint on me.
I created my a piece of clothing for the first time, a skirt. I think its beautiful, but hey, thats just me!

I leave for competition either Wednesday night or Thurseday morning. [Stomach trembles]. lol.

Kate and I were half an hour late to class, with McDonalds in our hands and she was just like sit down. lol. She didn't care, lol. So that was cool.

Um... hmm... I don't know what else to talk about. I am going out tomorrow. Yeah!

I am cooking dinner right now :). Oh well..... Hmmm

Well I am doing laundry than I have to start studying more. Oh well.

Oh and I got my report card and I did awesome! :)

I will gather myself around my faith.
I will get down on my knees.

Kate said she liked my "Emilie" poems in the entry before, thank you.

I decided that if nobody else is going to take a stand and help someone when help is needed I will. I know what its like when nobody cares enough to try and help. I won't let that happen to someone else, especially when its at this sort of level.

And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear.

Don't you worry, I am going to be ok.
Just give me time my lovely,
these tears will disappear from my face.
But don't you worry,
I'm not worth that much anyways.

I see a boy.
'Cause I look at him and I see a boy,
An' I see trouble and I see joy.
See innocence and headstrong,
And a heart full of dreams.
An' I look at him and I'm so amazed
I look at him and I see me,
Breakin' down one day,
As he packs up all his things,
To move away.

I had some fun with Katherine today.
Almost got Walter towed :(

I see a boy.

Dear sweet Emilie,
won't you come out from behind those books?
Little Emilie come here and let me take a look.
Emilie what is this I see my dear?
What is this around your middle? Don't you know that it jiggles when you giggle?
You will never get a boy with that my sweet, you need to stay away from those treats.
Dear sweet Emilie why don't you wear any make up at all?
A good girl knows how to look like a young lady, don't you recall?
Emilie, my child, stand up straight and take those awful glasses of your face.
Its better not to see that blackboard than to block your little face.
Emilie come sit down, cross your legs, don't look at the ground.
Emilie you must present yourself like a lady, stop worrying about your school books and start worrying about going steady.
Dear Emilie that boy Daniel is such a nice fellow,
his father is rich and is mother is quite mellow, don't you want to marry a boy like Daniel?
He was accepted to college for that arm of his, he has a gift, he will become a real man real quick.
Dear Emilie don't talk such foolishness, girls need only to worry about looking pleasing and how to use a Hoover.
Emilie try out for cheer squad, don't you know that will help you go far?
Little Emilie take your hair down, we will have to dye it blonde and your smile isn't white enough at all.
Dear Emilie what am I to do? Your head is full of ideas when it should be full of society rules.
Emilie why aren't you friends with that lovely Ashley? She knows what she needs to get ahead in this world.
Emilie you need not worry about Shakespear, how to be a respectable wife is the only education you need to hear.
Emilie now go and brush away those tears, reaply your makeup, and throw away that heavy meal.
Stop being so stubborn and start to be perfect my dear.

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What do you say?
How do you feel?
You must be mistaken.
You can't be for real.
You can't honestly believe I could feel the same.
You can't possibly be that insane.
Emilie look in the mirror.
Do you see the girl I see from here?
Your just not acceptable I am afraid to say.
You have to many ideas,
your just not the same.
Emilie you can't be serious.
I can't possibly love a girl who isn't gorgeous.
Now Emilie why don't you look down.
Do you see what I see under your gown?
Your much to heavy to have a chance.
Maybe if you stopped eating I would ask you to dance.
Now Emilie look at your face.
You see what I see, a female disgrace?
Your much to quiet, you don't speak aloud,
and those questions you answer, well thats not sexy at all.
My mom says your not a lady,
your attitude and your intelligence is not appropriate to go steady.
How could I honestly love you if you look at her?
See how she sparkles?
See how she twirls?
You don't compare little Emilie,
and I am not trying to be unfriendly.
What you are is a stone,
and what I need is a gem.
So you see Emilie, I don't love you, not at all,
Your nothing to me, can't you see?
the fact is your nothing sweet Emilie.

There is always hope.
People say that in times of stess, the true person you are surfaces. There are two types of people when it comes to a stressful situation, those who are strong and hold n to hope, and those who fall.

Life is about hope. If everytime we fell we stayed on the round, crying over our skinned knees, there would be no success. There would be no gain. But truely think about it, if there was no hate would there be love? If there was no sorrow would there be true joy? If there was no death would there really be an appreciation for life?

Life can be cruel. It can slap you in the face and it will kick you when you're down and take away everyting you have. Thats just the way it is. Sometimes you have to let things go, you have to face the fact that you have failed and that you will never succeed at somethings. But there are things that you can never give up, things that mean too much to you to give up. Things that are worth getting kicked in the spine for, things that are worth dying for.

You have to make a distinction. You have to seperate what is worth fighting for and what isn't fighting for. And once you realize what is worth fighting for, you can never lose faith, you can never fall. You have to cling onto hope and rise again with a smile on your face and hopefully, with your new experience of every fall, you learn how to stand for a little bit longer.

People say that the things that were meant to be should happen on their own. They say you shouldn't have to fight for it. But nothing that is worth anything is free. It takes work, committment, faith, and a lot of heartbreak.

Than there are those people who are too afraid to go for what they want. There are the people who don't even fall because they can't even face the challenge. I have pity for those people, and I must admit that I have fallen 100 times but I have never been afraid to face something I have wanted. I may not have tried for it, but I at least faced it. But I am done just facing it, I am done falling over and over again. Because I have chosen whats worth fighting for, what battles I CAN win. HOSA competition is one, college is one, medical school is one.

You just got to choose the battles you can win.
The rest you can wish upon a star,
and keep hope.