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Kate

:: 2003 13 December :: 11.11pm

If you've seen the video for The Distillers - Drain the Blood, tell me if you think I would look good with Brody's hair. If you haven't, this is the closest picture I could find of how she has it in the video. I want your opinion. Should I get it this way?



"I'll take this time to let out what's inside, cuz I will panic, sometimes I wish you'd die, full of sorrow, you raped and stole my pride, and all this hate is bottled up inside." - Korn/Bottled Up

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Kate

:: 2003 13 December :: 9.55am
:: Music: Aerosmith - Trip Hoppin'

Me
Justine did this; I thought it was interesting, so I decided to be a follower and copy her. You can just skip over it if you want.

What you may not know about Kate..


- I only hate one person, my mother.
- Kamal is responsible for part of who I am today. She completely changed me in 6th grade, and since then I've been doing it myself.
- As cliche as it sounds, nobody understands me enough.
- I own all of the Invader Zim episodes, thanks to Joe.
- I love the night. I love hanging out with friends at night. I love driving around at night.
- I want and have wanted, christmas chucks, for longer than I can remember.
- I spilled water on my keyboard Thursday, ruining it. Now I have to use this shitty old one.
- I put lotion on my legs and face after I get out of the shower.
- I try very very hard to never regret anything, but I think I'm lying to myself sometimes when I say I don't regret something.
- I only drink water at home, and chocolate milk at school. I'll drink something else if I have to.
- I haven't played my guitar much in the last 2 weeks. I'm getting frustrated with myself.
- I've smoked weed once. But didn't really care for it. I don't plan on doing it again.
- I wear contacts, which are not colored. I get that question a lot.
- I don't like my hair. I really want to cut it. Any suggestions?
- I used to be best friends with Jacqui DeFouw when I was younger. We loved to play with beanie babies and pretend we were detectives..
- I've never dressed up for halloween.
- I wake up a lot at night.
- I take 5 anti-depressant pills before bed every night. They're for my headaches. But they're such a small dosage, they wouldn't actually work for depression, I think.
- I'm not depressed.
- I have a hole in my wall, which I keep things in. A poster covers it.
- I have 71 CDs.
- I slept 14 1/2 hours last night.
- I have dream book. I like to know what my dreams mean.
- My room is filled with random things alll over the walls. It makes me feel comfortable.
- I used to play the clarinet, the violin and the piano.
- I really like Chicken Noodle Soup and Ramen Noodles.
- I only like one class out of my schedule, english.
- I hate when a CD skips, even for a few seconds.
- I've read each of the Harry Potter books at least 3 times. ...I used to really like them.
- I loved the Mary Kate and Ashley books when I was 8.
- I'm a christian. I go to church every Sunday.
- I started wearing all black in 7th grade. I stopped doing it so much this year, but I still have a fondness for black.
- I wish I could skateboard.
- I have a low tolerance level, but I make sure not to show it.
- If someone doesn't trust me, or like me, it eats away at me. I try not to care, but it never works.
- I don't like acoustic versions of songs.
- A couple people have told me before that "Girl All the Bad Guys Want" by Bowling for Soup, reminds them of me. I'd have to disagree though.
- I've been called "Daria" quite a few times before. I agree with that one.
- I think Amanda MacDonald is an okay person.
- Justine and Andy Gunneson are my cousins.
- I hate being with my immediate family.
- I have 2 smog journals, and 4 woohu journals. One is just where I keep everything I write. Click here to go to it, if you want to. I keep the stuff that's not very good in there too, so be prepared for some shitty things mixed in with the good.

I'm thinking this is getting long, so I'll stop now. I hope you learned something, heh.

"Life is for living, but I don't want to live it alone." - Coldplay/Life is for Living

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BigBen61

:: 2003 11 December :: 9.35pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: zepher song

life
Yep today for the first time ever i wore tights, very uncomfterble they put to much presure on manland. Everythings still got that same stillness that i can't shake so all i can do is act as normal as possible. Well i still have nothin to talk about so i'm done love you buhbye

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BigBen61

:: 2003 9 December :: 3.19pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: none

life
Haven't written in here in a while, not much to talk about. Today was ok i got sick this morning but i felt better after throwin up. I got to sleep alot and i had some time to do a little more writing. And to stacey you still owe me a rematch. love you all
ben

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BigBen61

:: 2003 6 December :: 11.52pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: adams song

life
Well not much goin on its 11:40pm saturday night and noones online so either everyone went to bed or everyone has something better to do. Everythings still the same that horribley gay stillness. Don't really have much to say so i guess thats all.
love you all
ben

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BigBen61

:: 2003 6 December :: 12.13am
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: Red hot chilli peppers

life
All my emotions and feelings are whirling around me its crazy, the only ones that are standing still are love the love i feel for everyone around me that makes me want to protect and take care of them, and pain the same pain that i have felt for the past 2 years the same pain that grows everyday that i hide in order to make people laugh. Its all worth it though as long as i'm helping someone. I've got all these wierd thoughts runnin threw my head i don't even know what it means i'm just trying to piece it all together. I'm lucky i have the friends i do they have already proven to me how much they care. Well i'm gettin pretty tired so i'm just gonna go love you all ben

So am i still waiting, for this world to stop hating. Can't find good reason, can't find hope to believe in- sum 41

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Kate

:: 2003 5 December :: 7.49am
:: Music: Thursday - Cross Out the Eyes

I yawn and my eyes water. My eyelids are heavy but I insist on staying awake. It's only 7:50, I can't go to bed now. I feel warm and cozy, but my feet are cold. I almost feel sad. It's an odd day. Things are odd lately..
I love the night. It almost feels like it's raining. I can feel that it's black outside, I can feel the stillness. Everything seems calm. I'm calm. It's almost apathetic, but in a blissfully, sad sort of way; which makes no sense whatsoever. But that's how I feel. Comfortably warm and cold, with an essence of sadness and happiness at the same time, while feeling nothing. *yawns again* I bet there are stars out right now. It feels like a starry night. I should check in a while. If only I had a blanket, a big chair, and a chest to curl up into. Then falling asleep at 7:50 wouldn't matter. Ah.. perfection. Tonight is odd.

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BigBen61

:: 2003 5 December :: 5.30pm

well stacey told me to do this so here it is

Democrats
Circle I Limbo

Bill Clinton
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Qusay Hussein
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Uday Hussein
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

DMV Employees
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Saddam Hussein
Circle VII Burning Sands

Libertarians
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

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BigBen61

:: 2003 4 December :: 9.37pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: I could die for you

life
Well i'm home from our first game of the year
Cedar Springs-14
Rockford-1
but i'm still pretty rusty though. After the game i pretty much just put on my head phones and sat and thought for a long time, after a while i forgot what i was thinkin about and started over it happend three times stupid end of period buzzers are too loud. not much to really say i love all of you and i'll talk to you later.
ben

I could die for you. whatcha wanna do. OH this life i choose.-red hot chili peppers

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Kate

:: 2003 4 December :: 4.06pm
:: Mood: No esta contento..
:: Music: Get Up Kids - Overdue

Pet Peeves, Dislikes, and/or Hates
1. When my bedroom or office door is left open.
2. When someone leaves the door open in a car, so it makes that sound until you shut it.
3. Being called "dude."
4. Pop music.
5. When someone gets in the car, gets situated, THEN shuts the door, so I have to sit there freezing, waiting for them.
6. Grape flavored things.
7. People who won't admit when they're wrong.
8. People who fight with no real logic or basis to what they're saying.
9. My mom
10. Getting called "Katie."
11. Not getting taken seriously.
12. When someone tells me, "You're barely 15," like my age automatically makes me stupid.
13. The phrase, "Okaly dokaly."
14. Children.
15. The phrase, "Time for you to get a watch."
16. People who aren't open to different things.
17. Lint.
18. When my mother doesn't let me do something because she cares about what people will think of her.
19. Complaining.
20. People who can't keep a secret.
21. People who get drunk and do stupid things.
22. When the hairspray falls out of my hair.
23. When my ear shows.
24. Getting in trouble for hugging Joe.
25. The kids on my bus. Especially when they sing along to the radio.
26. Mr. Kruisenga
27. People who try so hard to be different.
28. Those little icons with flashing song lyrics, or flashing words on them.
29. People who drape themselves in Hot Topic merchandise.
30. When someone says Good Charlotte is punk.
31. My mother.
32. Getting interrupted.
33. When two people are in a relationship and one person expects the other to do everything; to conform to their lifestyle; to always fix the problems.
34. Stubborn people.
35. When someone tries to be deep, but just can't do it, making themselves look like an ass in their sad attempt.
36. When a person chews with their mouth open.
37. Grammar/spelling mistakes.
38. When the bottom of the tub is cold.
39. When people claim, "God hates me."
40. Strict old-fashion christians.
41. People who care so much about how another person lives, or dresses, or just is.
42. When someone posts like 10 quizzes at a time.
43.When the cap is left off the toothpaste.
44. Poems that don't rhyme.
45. Pizza with pineapple on it.
46. Fast food.
47. My mother.


That's all I'm going to put for now. I'm not obsessed with the vast majority of these, I was just thinking about daily things that bother me. Most of them are little and tolerable, but some I abhor passionately.

Ps. Add Joe back to your list.

"I am hoping I can find where to leave my hurt behind. All the shit I seem to take, all alone I seem to break."
- KoRn/Alone I Break.

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BigBen61

:: 2003 3 December :: 8.20pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: 3 doors down

life
Well lifes goin on, i made 2 new friends today one was Devan and the other i have no idea what her name is but she was in my choire class but not anymore. Friends are the pillars of life without them everything collapses. I love my friends very much and thought i want to make everyone happy i want to make them happy more than anything. I owe them all so much and i haven't really done much yet but i will figure out something to do to atl east show them how much i love them and want to help them, but i will never be able to equal all they have done for me. "Well thats all i have to say about that"- forest gump
peace

"I'm here without you baby, but ur still on my lonely mind...i think about u baby, and i dream about u all the time"-three doors down

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BigBen61

:: 2003 2 December :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: place for my head

quizes
I got bored and took more quizes this one was called the ultimate personality quiz.

Protector
You are the rock, the keystone of your friends and family. They look to you for support and leadership. You don't push for devotion or attention, but when the situation is dire even idols and exhibitionists will turn to you. You are the trusted, the loved. You have the capacity to love more deeply than any other type, and are farely devoted to friends and lovers. Highly idealistic you would sacrafice everything for a person or because you believe in something. But you trust so deeply and compassionately that a betrayal could shatter you. Jealousy is your downfall and sometimes you need to give people more space and not become so enamored. Be careful who you place your trust in for a protectors broken heart will never fully heal. The world needs more of you but you are few. And sometimes seems like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.

This is what feeling do you represent

You represent... kindness. You're a very gentle, kind, and caring individual. You truely care about people and are generally well-liked. Though sometimes you may be perceived as weak, you truely have a strong heart and a good desire to help others.

This one was how evil are you

You're mostly a good person. You're good most of the time, but you know how to be bad.

This is what is your deepest secret

YOU ARE MARRIED TO A WoODCHUCK!!!

This is what element are you

Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a good communicator. Incredibably loving and loyal when your trust is gained and you are fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river but nobody truly knows you.

Well i'm done i'm pretty sure these are bogus and noone really cares anyways.

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BigBen61

:: 2003 1 December :: 6.47pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: adams song

life
Well life is still trudging along as usual. Don't have much to say, well i do but talking about it irritates someone so i'll just not. soi guess i'm done i love you all.
ben

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Kate

:: 2003 30 November :: 3.58pm
:: Music: AFI

Pathetic..
Completely pathetic. 62 comments! I'm lowering the goal to at least 100.

Okay you bastards, get your asses to my last entry and comment!

"We come to this place, falling through time, living a hollow life." - Korn/Hollow Life

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Kate

:: 2003 28 November :: 8.07pm
:: Mood: Hopeful
:: Music: Foo Fighters

C'mon guys, help a friend out
My 'comments received' is rising ever so slowly. I need you guys to help me out. It's happened in Stacy's journal a good few times, where 100+ comments are posted. I'm going to set a goal and you should all try your hardest to reach it. Okay, the goal is... 300. It's really not that much. Just comment about whatever. Whenever you're bored, just come here and comment. If you're reading this entry, you better comment.

C'mon! Pitch in! Do it for this unfortunate non-comment receiver! Do it for the kids!

"I can't feel my heart, but I feel the shame, nothing left to say, soon I'll fade away."
- Korn/I'm Hiding

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