::
2004 30 January :: 8.21 pm
i can try to keep up my attitude, but things just suck.i watched thirteen with danielle,then she left, my mom and i had an arggument/talk.i didnt give a fuck what she had to say.she wants to take me and move away.at this point, i dont care.i wrote katherine a letter, but i dont think she took it seriously.just because i dont go to that god damn school anymore, fuck zion. her and eden have gotten soo close.im out of the wim now.i dont know what to think anymore.i finaly talked to travis.but i doubt he lieks me.everyone thns i have a chance. but i dont know if they really mean it or what.
sabrina
my parents will probably divorce.
5 i love you... |
for forever and today |
::
2004 26 January :: 10.16 am
im sick this morning.friday, wnet to the resturant.saturday hung with emily and micah, then work, then back to emily and micah.sunday...hung with emily, tried to go see travis, but didnt work out..damn..:-\..ill never meet him, i just have to repeat that to myself, its not meant to be..
emily likes micah, but unfortunatly he doesnt like her.:-(
6 i love you... |
for forever and today |
::
2004 23 January :: 5.03 pm
:: Mood: amused
Remember Me..by:me.
Screaming,crying, painful tears
Scary thoughts of hidden fears.
A person leaving, and never saying goodbye
you try to wonder, and think of why.
The bullet shot, the plan is done
Like staring straight,right into the sun.
The smell of deatj, upon the grave
Nothing could be done, to have been saved.
I walk no more, with pride and honor
For now i believe i am a goner.
I have taken what can be called the Ultimate Test
Remember me, for i have done my best.
In loving memory of Steven .G. Adelman.
3 i love you... |
for forever and today |
::
2004 16 January :: 8.28 am
:: Mood: depressed
a moment of truth.
As i sit by the stairs, crying , the only words i hear are, divorce, seperate, and move out.i didnt understand how this could happen, why God was letting it.I always thought my family was happy, but there not.i always thought wede get through anything together,but i guess we cant.and as i sit with tears strolling down my face, i wonder what else could go wrong..so i got up, went to bed, and pretended i was never awake.
3 i love you... |
for forever and today |
::
2004 12 January :: 8.41 pm
:: Mood: tired
on the phone with kat, eden is a fag, dani is an asshole, the world is spinning right on time.
3 i love you... |
for forever and today |
::
2004 11 January :: 6.33 pm
Every thought that I repent
There's another chip you haven't spent
And you're cashing them all in
Where do we begin to get clean again
Can we get clean again?
I walk home alone with you
And in the mood you're born into
Sometimes you let me in
And the siren's song that is your madness
Holds a truth I can't erase
All alone on your face
Every glamorous sunrise
Throws the planets out of line
A star sign out of whack, a fraudulent zodiac
And the God of Wine is crouched down in my room
You let me down, I said it, now I'm going down
And you're not even around
And there's a memory of a window
Looking through I see you
Searching for something I could never give you
And there's someone who understands
You more than I do
A sadness I can't erase
All alone on your face-kenza
for forever and today |
::
2004 10 January :: 12.38 am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: the darkness
everything has been going badly.im so unhappy, crying helps me feel better, sometimes i just break down.i cant even talk to my best friend about it, holding it in wil hurt me even mroe, but i geuss thats my only option.
3 i love you... |
for forever and today |
::
2003 31 December :: 5.10 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: from autumn to ashes, reel big fish..
woke up at 2 p.m today..
new years eve, beach..nah, couldnt get a ride home,and of course travis was there, and i wasnt..god doesnt want me to meet him i guess?i had a bad temper this morning andi broke the front glass (where u look out of to drive) int he car and my mom and i had a long talk. cried...u know..the usual..i feel alot better.i have to work tonight..woo...last ngiht kat,jake,brock,ed,and rachel and i went to boomers it was a lot of fun, i went on the sky diver! it was sooo much fun! i cant wait to do it again.i met jill and her boyfriend mark (micheal clark) other then that, nothing happened..except that i had to drink tea at kats...:-(
Oh why cant I be what you need
a new improved version of me
but i'm nothing so good
no i'm nothing
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
i beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down fold me in
deep deep deep in the heart of your sins
I break in two over you
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you dont see me, you dont...
here i'm in between darkness and light
bleached and blinded by these nights
where im tossing and tortured til dawn
by you, visions of you then youre gone
the shock lifts the red from my face
when i hear someone's taking my place
how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel
when all, all that i did was for you
i break in two over you
i break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you dont..
i break in two over you
i break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you don't...
i break in two over you
i break in two over you, over you
i break in two
i would break in two for you
now you see me
now you don't
now you need me
now you don't
-deeply deidcated..
12 i love you... |
for forever and today |
::
2003 24 December :: 10.33 pm
:: Music: thrice
dear mary
merry xmas, every time katheirne and i see a bus drive by, we remmeber you, and how you cared..
hahaha queer a folk..well, i slept at kats, 2 nights in a row...sweet.we had fun, jake and her made out during lord of the rings, and i went crazy, the 3rd lord of the rings is amazing.go see it.they pissed me off during that one also.damn them.haha kat is at mass for 3 freakin hourss..haha sucks for her..on friday we are going shopping, my mom is taking me on a xmas shopping spree, paul and iwere talkin bout her bday party, sounds kick ass.hope t is
feelin like im to a miracle, im waiting for a sign..now straight into the sun, and i wont close my eyes.
sab<3
p.s..i will talk to travis..cause...hes hot.:-D
6 i love you... |
for forever and today |
::
2003 6 December :: 11.38 am
steven was murdered..:'(..its been a horrible week.everyone is crying..funerals soon...can it get any worse?
15 i love you... |
for forever and today |
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