No one can Know

No one can Know

:: 2004 17 March :: 9.08pm

Allison,
Hey! What's up? Not a lot here. I just wanted to tell you that I had a great time with you on the bus ride home from the district game. I just want to thank you again for listening. Did you have fun? I sure did. Thank you for "commanding" me! We will have to do i tagain. (hint!) Just messing. So how are you? Only the best i hope. Maybe I can come over on saturday! We can watch a movie.

So mike was upset about the car thing I guess. He yelled at me when I got home. Oh well. He'll get over it. Have you seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre? it is Scary! Really Scary! We should watch it. I hate my cursive! It sucks really bad! Can you read it? I hope so. If not, we have a problem.

I really like You! I mean really! I hope you feel the same! Well I better go!

Bryan
Thanks for listening

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dazed

:: 2004 13 March :: 11.06pm

I'm Sorry
Tonight.. turned out way better than I expected. But!! first last night...

I was suppose to have bryan come over at like 6 to get his car looked at but he didn't show up so I was upset. I tried to call him, but no one picked up. I come home at like... 10:30 and Sarah is online and is bored and alone, so I go to her house. We talk till about one and then we both go to bed.
Today...
Olivia comes in and wakes me up at 7:30 in the morning. I stay there till about 8:30. I go home and Sarah calls and wants me to go to the mall. So I take a shower and we leave. I try to call bryan, still no answer. We go to the mall and I buy my prom dress and a bunch of accesories to go with it. We leave and I call bryan's house. No answer... so I leave a message this time. Mike (step-dad) calls me back and tells me that he is in Grand Rapids and I should call his cell. So I do and he finally answers. He tried to call me as well! He told me that the reason why he didn't show up was because the guy he was suppose to meet that was selling the car was late. We talked about how we had made plans to see each other tonight and he wasn't sure if he could make it. He gets home at around 7 and calls me and says he can come over. So he comes over. :) Stan and my Bro are here and my dad is playing the drums and all the stuff is set up to play. We had a live band! Olivia wouldn't leave bryan and I alone so we took her home and came back here. We went upstairs and began to watch a movie. But.. right in the beginning he pulls me on top of him and...

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dazed

:: 2004 13 March :: 8.44am

Well, I was up late last night and now I am up early thanks to olivia. I went to the play and helped out the whole time. I didn't get to see any of it except for the last two scenes. It was good then?! Haha. Bryan was suppose to come over yesturday at 6 with a car but he came late and we had already left. I felt bad... Anyways he should be coming over today and so is one of my dad's friends and my brother to make noise. Sarah said that We could come down and use her house so that's cool. I'm tired and olivia is making me a card so I'm going to go..

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dazed

:: 2004 9 March :: 9.53pm
:: Mood: drained/content
:: Music: Dashboard Confessional~Screaming Infedelities

Gonna Miss You
*sigh*:) I'm sore but yet I feel so good. I can't stop smiling. I'm always happy these days. Even if I fall and land on my face.. If he's there I'll be laughing and crying at the same time. I've been weightlifting everyday. My dad says that I look like I have muscle so that is good:) Districts are tomorrow, Yay. Bryan is getting his industrial soon and I am going with him to get it. It's going to be gross!! O~well... I'm off to weight lift some more.

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dazed

:: 2004 8 March :: 5.13pm

No complaints today. I had a lot of fun in band for once. I sat by bryan and laughed the whole time. We were messing around with a latex glove. It was good fun! I went weightlifting after school and made him bench 100... he did it fine so I'm going make him to more haha. I had a freaky dream last night, but I've never woken up this good before! I really want to play my guitar and sing.....forever...

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dazed

:: 2004 4 March :: 3.59pm

Alright, Good news. I found a house to buy next may. It's a nice house. I like it. It's in town and I'll most likely be able to afford it. I'm saving my money now and I might have enough by next year if i keep watching kids. I plan on getting a second job sometime. I need the money! I also have to buy a dress for prom. That will be fun and expensive.

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dazed

:: 2004 3 March :: 6.55pm

Allison,
Hey! How are you? Only the best I hope. How are your knees? I can make them better! I am unable to come over to you rhouse after school today. I have to be at my house when my step-brother leaves. Oh well. I think maybe I can come over after the game? Probably not. My step-dad will be home tomorrow. Mayber you could come over after? Then I could take you home! Well my hand hurts. I am going to go.
Give me a call at home if you get home before 3 k? Love Ya!
Bryan

:) Awwe.. he's such a cutie! What am I gonna do?

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dazed

:: 2004 1 March :: 8.13pm

Allison,
Hey!How are you? The greatest I hope. How was watching the kids on saturday? I wish you lived alone, then I could stay with you. My house is nuts. There is so much tension. I want to rip out my hair and scream. I want to thank you for listening to my problems. I am thankful that you are there. I get so excited whenever I talk to you. Anyways. How is your ear? does it still hurt? When we go to districts, will you sit wiht me on the bus? I how you will. I think you should get your bellly button pierced. You have the cutest tummy. Let's not forget the perfect body! Well I have to go! I will talk to you later!
Bryan

Well, that was another from him. I guess I do make a difference though it doesn't feel like it. He's going through a lot right now and I'm not sure what I can do to help seens how I've never experienced what he is going through.

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dazed

:: 2004 24 February :: 8.58pm

I think I'm dying....

I ate a 10 day old pie...

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dazed

:: 2004 24 February :: 8.42pm
:: Music: Could Not Ask For More

Right here in this moment
Allison, 2/17/04
Hey. How are you? I hope that life finds you well. I had an awesome time last night. Hanging out with you is great. I hope that you enjoyed last night as well. My favorite part was smelling your perfume! The movie was good too. I am glad that I was the first boy in your room. That shows that you parents not only trust you, but they also trust me! You guitar playing was fantastic. I enjoyed it a lot. Hopefully I can go to RAndy's gym on Sunday and get my handspring. Then I can come in on monday and show you! My hand really hurts. I don't know why. Did you keep flexing your "pecs" so I could watch? If so I liked it. Anyways I have to go!
Bryan

Allison, 2/23/04
Hey! How are you? I hope the best. I had an awesome time on saturday, and I was so excited that you went on sunday. Did you have fun and enjoy yourself? I hope that you did. You will have to go again. I love it there. My ankle hurts, and it was bleeding earlier. I will have to show my knee to you. I t is sick. I don't think I responded to your letter. I like you too. It felt like we were going out already. I considered us dating, so lets officially go out or see each other. You decide. I am not really sure what the difference is. I guess there is one though.

My house is so fucked up. My parents are fighting and my mom might leave. If they fight again she might. I kind of want to but I kind of don't. If my mom and mike seperate, we will probably move in town somewhere. that will be nice. I love town. I liked it better when my mom was single. OOHH well. It won't be long before I get to move out, and move in with you. Just kidding. I liked your handwriting in your last letter. Well I better get going!
Bryan

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dazed

:: 2004 22 February :: 12.37pm

Went to church, Now I have the funeral to go to to. Yippy. I think I might go shopping afterwards and buy some cheer shorts. Some Black ones because they are fun. I am probably going to go to gymnastics tonight even though I kind of don't want to. I can deal. Maybe I'll get my back walk over?!

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dazed

:: 2004 21 February :: 10.59pm
:: Mood: Relieved
:: Music: boys of summer~ the ataris

Forget Your Sorrows...
I went over to his house, it was great. We started out in the living room with his mom and then we ended up going downstairs and playing pool. He beat me both times. Then we went to the couch and started watch star search. It was pretty funny. Then, CSI came on an dit was way scary and he put his around around me, it was cute. Ha! then!!! He wanted me to sit next to him but his hand was on there facing up he was like.. just sit down so I did.. and he like... yeah.. and I was like what ar eyou doing?? I was laughing so hard.. He was like.. what.. where did I touch you and I'm like.. my vagina and he's like :O. It was funny. He was waaay embarrased. I was on his lap (my head) and he was playing with my hair :). *sigh* He helps make things feel way better.

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dazed

:: 2004 19 February :: 3.13pm

Things all of a sudden got shitty. Everyone just seems to find shit wrong with me. Bryan's girl-friends all hate me because he's with me and not them. Rachel Hates me because I said she gained weight. Jessica hates me because she freaked out on me a couple nights ago when I said I had a test the next day and I was tired, "stop talking about your faggot boyfriend"... that's what she said. I don't know how Me being tired and having a test the next day has anything to do with Bryan.. but I guess it does.

All I have to say is... thank god I have Bryan.. Who likes me for me.

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justyn

:: 2004 18 February :: 2.56pm

okay, that just wasn't cool, today mindy ran up to this one kid and jumped up and hugged him and wrapped her legs around him... that shit isn't fucking cool

ruined my day

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