I THUNDER

I THUNDER

:: 2003 18 September :: 9.30pm

Kill me. Murder me. Shoot me 5 times through the heart and head. Stab me a million times in each place. Wrap a rope tight around my neck and hang me from the highest pole letting my mouth and eyes lag. Drown me until my skin is soft and white and leave me at the bottom of an endless ocean of my own teenage pain. I don't care how it's done, but death is a necessity. Kill me. Living isn't worth it anymore.

And I'm serious.

11 Tigerers | Munchin'

kate	:: 2003 18 September :: 3.57pm :: Music: Saves The Day I never noticed how nice hugs are until I thought about each I got today and how grateful I am for every one. 2 Tigerers \| Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 17 September :: 12.08pm
:: Mood: irritated

If I do or say something that you don't like, or think I shouldn't do/say, tell me. Don't go off and tell eachother because that only gets more people pissed with no resolution. And if you tell me, I can improve on it. Or I can explain to how you took it wrong, if you did. So don't just go to your friends and say "Kate did blah... it wasn't cool," just fucking tell me. I hate opinionated people. Especially when they gossip.

6 Tigerers | Munchin'

kate	:: 2003 16 September :: 5.07pm Kamal's on the phone "squirrel haven, squirrel central, squirrel bananza, squirrel explosion! squirrel blow out!" "It's a loaf of meat!" "I have no life, only mechanical pencils." -quotes of Kamal 1 Tiger \| Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 14 September :: 6.17pm
:: Mood: sleepy/apathy
:: Music: Metallica

I don't know what I'm doing.
*yawn* Homecoming was okay and stuff. Had its moments.
I don't know what to write. I just haven't updated since the 10th, so I thought I would.
Neilee's house was entertaining. Fell asleep to infomercials and other stuff. I woke up at 5 or 6:30 and Brad was watching the news. That's gotta be sincere boredom right there. Angel, or Joe's name for her, Kitty, jumped up on my lap a lot. So did Mr. B a couple times. Mr. B loves me... James....
I guess I'm bored with this entry.

"Today didn't have to be this way. Tomorrow is another day. Another chance to make things right."
-MxPx/Tomorrow's Another Day

1 Tiger | Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 10 September :: 6.44pm
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: Finch

"If of all words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are, `It might have been,'
More sad are these we daily see:
`It is, but hadn't ought to be.'"
-- Francis Brett Hart

"I want you to know that, I miss you, I miss you so" *sings along to Finch* "I've gooone away"
I dislike Crowley. I dislike school. I'm just bored. So bored. I hope homecoming will be fun. It probably will be. After homecoming's done, then what? This. Oh what fun.
"We'll wait for, forever"
Went to guitar lessons. Working on a White Stripes song now. It's ever so exciting.. huh...
I got that picture a couple entries down to work, thanks to Joe.
I'm gonna go.. take a shower.. or something. Go pass time.

"Soaking in sympathy from friends who never loved you, half as much as me."
-Taking Back Sunday/There's No I In Team

6 Tigerers | Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 10 September :: 3.12pm

Saves the Day - Rocks Tonic Juice Magic
(My favorite Saves the Day song)

Let me take this awkward saw
And run it against your thighs
Cut some flesh away
I'll carry this piece of you with me
Because all I can say tonight
is that I hate you
But it would be all right
If we could see each other sometime
If I could somehow make you mine
And if not I'll take my spoons
Dig out your blue eyes
I'll swallow them down to my colon
They're gonna burn like hell tonight
Because you're beautiful
Just not on the inside
Light comes from within
And your beaming eyes don't seem so bright
My heart is on the floor
Why don't you step on it?
When I think of all the things you've done
Boardwalks and breaking waves
Made our Saturdays
I'd buy you lemonade right now
if you were here
But then I'd throw it in your face
And I'd listen to you cry
And I'd remember how I miss
our nights under ocean skies
You and I are like when fire
and the ocean floor collide.

1 Tiger | Munchin'

kate	:: 2003 9 September :: 9.22pm "Let's not talk about this again because... I didn't want it to mean that much to me." -Taking Back Sunday/Bike Scene 1 Tiger \| Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 7 September :: 10.57pm

I'm updating for Brad, because he couldn't read my other update. mm... yep
Let's see... I don't feel like going to bed, so I'm just not. My nose is terribly sniffly. Damn you Neilee. *shakes fist* You brought your sickness to me.
My right hand nails are blood red. Wellll I think they look blood red, maybe a little too dark. Justin doesn't think so. *mummbles color blinded freak* his car is more... blue.
I'm not making sense tonight. Only to some people. I'll start actual updating now.
Today I went to church with my dad and Justin. It wasn't that great because my dad had to be dumb, but it had its moments.
Yesterday I went to a diaper party with Stephanie. Oh it was great! We ate a couple apples slices, found a feather or two, wooooo.....
Then on Friday I went to the game. I never actually went to the game. We, (Stacy, Brad, Eric, Wylie, Stacy, Dustin, Kelly, Joe, Jake, Jenny, Neilee, am I forgetting anyone?) hung out in the park. It was fun. Very. Then Jenny and Brad wanted me to go to the dance so we all walked to the high school, (Brad, Jenny, Joe and I,) but decided not to go to the dance when we got there. We instead hung out on the lawn, and was cold, but had fun. It was great.
So there. That has been my life recently. Be jealous of my eventful lifestyle. Or perhaps not, for it is rather boring.

"The light that has fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us." - Tool/Schism

3 Tigerers | Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 7 September :: 6.47pm

Taco3291: Kate?
thiscuthurts: ...yes?
thiscuthurts: who is this?
Taco3291: Is your name...perhaps...kate shelton, of cedar springs, that lives on 16 mile?
thiscuthurts: ..yes...
Taco3291: this is...someone..
Taco3291: some one who you dont know, but knows you, watches you.
thiscuthurts: oh really
Taco3291: yes.
Taco3291: do you know who i am?
thiscuthurts: I'm going to guess...
thiscuthurts: James
Taco3291: you have beautiful eyes, kate. has anyone ever told you that?
Taco3291: no, not james. no one you ever see.
thiscuthurts: oh..
thiscuthurts: and thank you..
Taco3291: am i frightening you, kate?
thiscuthurts: No, I'm not really frightened. Just curious.
Taco3291: curious....would you like to know more?
Taco3291: will you be at the highschool homecomming dance, kate?
thiscuthurts: yes I would
Taco3291: maybe i will see you there. you wont see me though. ill just be watching. always watching.
Taco3291: are you still there?
thiscuthurts: yes
thiscuthurts: where is there?
Taco3291: at the homecomming dance.
thiscuthurts: oh. er.. missed that
thiscuthurts: yes, I will be there.
Taco3291: Maybe i could meet your little boyfriend.
Taco3291: would you like to see me?
thiscuthurts: I suppose so.
thiscuthurts: Why can't you tell me your name?
Taco3291: ive been watching you for some time now, kate.
thiscuthurts: How long is some time?
Taco3291: because then you would know my secret.
thiscuthurts:: Some time.. how long is that?
Taco3291: for seven or eight months now.
Taco3291: watching you work in the fields over the summer....
thiscuthurts: and I never see you?
Taco3291: watching you get out of your car when you get home...
Taco3291: have you seen me? it would not suprise me if you havent. no one ever sees.
thiscuthurts: How old are you?
Taco3291: does it matter?
Taco3291: i know all about you.
thiscuthurts: Such as?
Taco3291: your full name, kathleen jewell shelton...you play guitar, love system of a down...how you can never sleep.
thiscuthurts: but you could've gotten that all from my journal
thiscuthurts: I just don't understand, what's your motive?
thiscuthurts: hey, you there?
Taco3291: yes im here. im always here. my motive is your beauty kate. you will be mine.
thiscuthurts: How will I be yours, if I don't even know who you are?
Taco3291: you will know. you must wait. the time will come.
Taco3291: soon.
thiscuthurts: how soon? when?
Taco3291: soon we will be together, like we should be.
Taco3291: you will just have to be patient. you will have to be alert, you wont be expecting it, then i will be there.
Taco3291: would you like me to come now, kate?
thiscuthurts: to my house, at this moment?
Taco3291: yes. i know where you are. your family will be no problem.
thiscuthurts: No.
Taco3291: why not?
Taco3291: you are making me angry. that is somthing you do not want to do.
thiscuthurts: I don't know who you are
Taco3291: would you like to know?
thiscuthurts: Obviously.
Taco3291: lol, its steph. im at my g-mas.

7 Tigerers | Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 7 September :: 11.36am

Killing:
May imply you have killed an aspect of yourself. This could be a hope, a dream, an ideal, or you may have slain the opposing or hated part of yourself and won your battle.

I dreamt last night that I killed many people with very little remorse.

"Drag it on and on until my skin is ripped to shreds." -Green Day/Scattered

1 Tiger | Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 4 September :: 8.26pm

Lament
He watched the water drip
Damning the leaky faucet
Picking up an old magazine
Only to toss it

Sat back on the couch
Fidling with a dime
Sank in the memories
Of a long lost time

He flipped the coin
Mentally making a game
Heads, she comes back
Tails, all stays the same

Twirling in the air
A blur to what side shall land
Then there it lays
Tails face up in his hand

5 Tigerers | Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 4 September :: 6.10pm

Joe shared his dream, so I'd thought I say mine. It's mighty weird.
I was in a gym with my spanish class. Mrs. Crowley goes "Rodillas" and I point to my knees. I lose my balance and fall, taking Courtney down with me. I tell her I have a plan to cause mischief in the school. Then I half wake up and think, "I must've dreamed being in the gym." Then I realize I'm holding someone's hand. I think it's Justin's. Suddenly I gasp and realize that I'm sitting in my chair, with my head on the desk, laying in my own vomit. I also realize that the hand is my mother's and I immediantly let go. Then I lay my head back down and half fall asleep. I feel sort of like I'm being carried, but I couldn't tell. Then I woke up for real.

1 Tiger | Munchin'

kate	:: 1887 16 November :: 6.26pm Look, it's James's birthday... 116years, 2 months and 7 days ago... 4 Tigerers \| Munchin'

kate

:: 2003 2 September :: 11.22pm
:: Music: Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness disc 1

I can't sleep
yay.. 5 and a half hours of sleep. That is, if I fall asleep by midnight.
Here's your update Neilee. I have been doing absolutely nothing with my life for a while. I don't have anything remotely interesting for you to read regarding my past days. I sit around, get on the internet, excersize a little, (I shall be sexxxified soon,) do my homework, sit around on the internet more. I need more hugs. They're all that are keeping me alive right now. Not littlerally alive, but alive in the sense of.. feeling. You get it..
I know this guy, he hates confrontation. He changes the subject whenever you try to talk about something that makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't like to be real open. He loves people deeply and all.. but he doesn't express it well... why am I telling you about this guy? I guess it's just something to write about.
I don't like P.E. Who honestly does? I guess there are those who do.. I hate the dot drill. I. hate. the. dot. drill.
There is a bug crawling on my screen. He's so little. Making his way to the top.. he's about a tenth of a centimeter. He just jumped.
I remember the elementary counselor. She used to tell us that it was okay to cry. I rememeber one time when I was little, my parents were mad at me and I cried. They told me stop and I said, "Mrs. (whatever her name was) said it was okay to cry." They said, "No, It's not okay."
...I'm learning Redundance and Scattered on the guitar currently. I'm doing okay, but overall yes I'll admit it, I suck. My teacher says I don't and that I'm better than his other students, but I think he's just being nice.
I like html
What are my goals in life you ask? I'm going to get married. I will write a book and I am going to own a nice, big bathtub. Because I have this mighty love for baths.
I want a sword. Don't you? Who doesn't. Swords.. ahh... what power I could possess if I had a sword.
There's this little red triangular blinking light on the fax machine. It just.. blinks.

"You're either born to win or born to lose and that's just what I've learned." -MxPx

4 Tigerers | Munchin'