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holiday

:: 2005 10 July :: 8.01pm
:: Music: Finch- Ravenous

So...
I really don't know how to feel. I know I am sad. But I need closure. I need to talk to a doctor. I need to know what actually happened. I keep thinking I did something wrong. I know that's not really the case. But I can't help feeling like my body let me down. If I would've gone sooner, maybe we would have known. I just keep saying maybe. But I NEED CLOSURE. In the meantime. I'll find out how to deal.

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holiday

:: 2005 29 June :: 10.44pm

Wow. I am just learning now how psychotic my boss is. EVERYONE::: DO NOT WORK AT TWO SISTERS CAFE!!!
I mean, it's a great place to work, if you really don't mind having your brain ripped out by your bosses fingernail (to say the least)
I am not joking at all. She made me cry today. And then had the nerve to tell me, with all her yelling, that I'm "lucky this is such a good job, no other place will put up with that crap". Well I am SORRY! But that is bullshit lady. I have worked in more kitchens than you for longer than you have and I know that if I want to leave I WILL LEAVE. I can find a job that will not "TEST" me and be manipulative and be insane. This job is nice, don't get me wrong...it's really just the boss.

So, if anyone really wants to visit me, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!!
Kathy won't be there tomorrow, or next tuesday, and both days I work 11:30-6.
Two Sisters Cafe, in Champion (Rockford) open to the public. duh. :-)

In other news, Charlie won't let me go to Michigan's Adventures. Well, just in case, you know. I've already rode the Zipper. Don't want her comin' out all cross-eyed. :-P
The zipper is crazy. I will never ride that thing as long as I live.
Off to work tomorrow so I better get some sleep.

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holiday

:: 2005 28 June :: 10.31pm

Tonight was definitely interesting. I didn't feel too well at work today but it got better. ate a samwich. drank a yummy drink. I need visitors there. Jane and I were bored out of our minds! Today was an interesting day though. Full of craziness. I need to go to the beach. I want to lay in the sun. I'm scared to ride quads, I think I need practice. And rollercoasters. But I love them just the same.
So tired. Water is good. :-)
So is sleep.

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holiday

:: 2005 27 June :: 9.25pm

worst headache of my LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to leave work early. It actually made me sick.
Ugh. I am tired. My eyes felt like they were being cut.
Feeling a little better now. :-)

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holiday

:: 2005 21 June :: 9.43pm

I guess I realized today that life's one true, real promise is death.

On a lighter note: I like my job. A lot.

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sherriffsteve

:: 2005 21 June :: 1.30am

After you make Him your first, He'll find your second.

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holiday

:: 2005 16 June :: 12.41am
:: Music: The Shins

Today has been pretty strange. Slept in till noon. Went to work. Was overly emotional. Stressed out. Got stuck in traffic for 1/2 an hour after work. Had to PEE!!! Finally got out of traffic and now I'm home. Feeling yucky. I want to go to bed so I will in a second. There's only tomorrow and next Tuesday left at Johnny's. If anyone wants to visit me, sniffle sniffle, I work at 4 tomorrow, and 5 on Tuesday.
I will be very tired on Tuesday though. Next week I work 48 hours at the Cafe. Which, by the way, if anyone wants to visit me, sniffle sniffle, it's at Champion fitness center, and is open to the public. I will be working 5:30am-1:30pm. I'm excited though. Yuck! I keep burping.
Ew.
Alright it's time for bed.

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holiday

:: 2005 7 June :: 9.00pm

Well, gave my notice tonight. They said I was always welcome there. But I can't believe I cried! Blah. It was a hard decision. Hmph.
So I will be working at Two Sisters Cafe at Champion Fitness Center. That is about it for now.

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holiday

:: 2005 3 June :: 12.02am

Ugh. Not feeling so well.
I do have a new job. It is so hard to decide whether or not to take it though. They pay a lot less than Carino's. I'm making $8 there, but at the cafe I would be making $6 (more in the fall though). I just went in to hand in my application and she was excited and we talked for an hour an now I have a job there. It'd be good because it'd be a more relaxed atmosphere, which is what I need right now. It's just so hard right now. I love working with the people I work with now. I don't want to leave yet! Ugh.
I really am having a hard time with this.
Tummy hurts going to bed now.

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holiday

:: 2005 1 June :: 9.06pm

I'm not so scared anymore. Still scared about my parents. Still thinking about it. Not so sure yet. I am so stupid. We'll be fine. We will be fine.
P.S.- I may have a new job @ Champion. The cafe there. Going to drop off my application tomorrow. Who knows. I'm sad about Johnny's though. There are so many people there that I have grown to know and I am so comfortable there w/everything. I know a lot there.
I think that's the problem, I know everything I can about what I do there, so there isn't challenge anymore. But I love working there sometimes and that doesn't help me make my decision.

Gah. That's about it right now.

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holiday

:: 2005 30 May :: 9.03pm

It just feels like a vacation. I'm watching Hell's Kitchen right now. I am getting kind of scared...of everything. I want to make sure this is what career I want to do. I've been cooking for a while now it feels too late to back out. I just want to get to the top the fastest way I can. It's really hard. About something entirely different,
I am scared it is too late. I'm calm but scared. I keep messing up. These dreams are strange. I keep dreaming the same thing.
But Charlie keeps me strong. Ahhh have to go.

4 . | .


holiday

:: 2005 24 May :: 12.06pm

It feels great to be out of school. I feel lazy though. I slept in till 11 this morning. This is going to be one busy week. We'll see what's new probably Friday.

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sherriffsteve

:: 2005 23 May :: 5.23pm

Uh, yup. haven't said much for a while, but I guess I've not had much to say. It's kind of funny reading everyone else's journals. wondering what you guys were thinking when you wrote what you wrote. It's kind of weird to say that I know what your saying, and really understand what you were saying. I can't believe the seniors are graduating in 4 days that makes me happy for them. I remember when I graduated, which was last year. It was so exhilerating and exciting, I had no idea what to expect. But then a year passed and here I am, sitting at a computer trying to tell the rest of you to enjoy it while you can. It really is an adventure. Life I mean. Just to look back at all the things I been through, all the places I've been and all the people that has walked across my path is just amazing. I would not change this life for anything. And I'm not saying this because I've gotten everything I've wanted. Most of you know that I am on the way other side of the spectrum when it comes to that. I just chose to except life the way that it was. and I could not be more happy. You only get one life, so live it to the fullest. I love working at a daycare and for that very reason. I have a chance to impact kids life. Not just with sharing with them the love of Jesus. But being there for them when they get hurt or when the cry being able to comfort them. Being in highschool, I spent so much time trying to find that comfort for myself. Trying to crawl into someone's lap and feel loved. now that I think about it, everyone one else is looking for the same thing. But life really started to take it's drastic turn when I realized that there is nothing that God wants more than to hear us call Him daddy and to crawl up into His lap. If only more of us could realize this.

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sherriffsteve

:: 2005 14 May :: 1.27pm

Life is good.



Weak and weary sinner, lost and left to die
Raise your head for love is passing by
Come to Jesus, Come to Jesus, Come to Jesus, and live
Now your burden's lifted, carried far away
Precious blood has washed away the stain
Sing to Jesus, Sing to Jesus, Sing to Jesus, and live
And like a newborn baby, don't be afraid to crawl
and remember when you walk sometimes you fall
Fall on Jesus, Fall on Jesus, Fall on Jesus, and live
Sometimes the way is lonely, and steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and fills the rain then
Cry to Jesus, Cry to Jesus, Cry to Jesus, and live
Oh, and when the joy spills over, and music fills the night
And when you can't contain the joy inside
Dance for Jesus, Dance for Jesus, Dance for Jesus, and live
And with your final heartbeat, kiss the world goodbye
And go in peace and laugh on glory's side
Fly to Jesus, Fly to Jesus, Fly to Jesus and live

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holiday

:: 2005 8 May :: 6.44pm

Oh man. I am kind of worried. I mean, I wouldn't be so worried if it wasn't for my family's views and everything. I just don't want them to hate me and I would hate feeling out of place w/them.
Mowed the lawn today. It is SOOOO nice out. And my parents said they'd let me go up to Grand Marais w/Charlie over Memorial weekend. Dad said it was because he trusted us both. So it will be fun. We shall swim in Lk. Superior. Heck yeah. Okay I am done.


5 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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holiday

:: 2005 24 April :: 4.18pm

THIS is going to be really strange. Oh man. Freaking out.

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happygolucky4646

:: 2005 15 April :: 9.02pm


i guess you can put a value on it



I am worth $1,965,730.00 on HumanForSale.com

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holiday

:: 2005 11 April :: 2.16pm
:: Music: The Black Maria

Hmm...haven't been on here in a while. I am really not looking forward to going back to the 'ol routine. Crap.
It's been pretty nice. Things are happenin'.
Goin over to the best guy in the world's house in a little bit.
:-) heck yeah.

9 . | .


holiday

:: 2005 4 April :: 7.09pm

Gramma and I went shoppin' today! It was fun. We went to David's Bridal.
I got a dress! FINALLY! A prom dress, mind you. But a wedding dress isn't far off. I called my mom to tell her they're holding it, and when I first told her where we were, she was quiet/confused then she freaked. haha. I had to remind her we're looking at prom dresses.
Got some shoes they're going to dye for me and a bag and my grandma got me these really beautiful earrings and a necklace. Holycrapawesome. Yes indeed. I can't wait to go w/Charlie! :-)

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holiday

:: 2005 27 March :: 8.52pm
:: Music: The Clash- (White Man) In Hammersmith Palais

28 school days left till we're out.

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holiday

:: 2005 27 March :: 6.09pm

AHHHHH
No one CARES ANYMORE!!!
I hate them all.
I need to talk to someone who feels like I do.

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holiday

:: 2005 27 March :: 4.36pm

Ugh. It's disgusting me. Oh well. Not like anything will be done about it. No one cares anymore.

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holiday

:: 2005 25 March :: 11.40am

I guess you could say for you ignorance is bliss. Whether you're happy or not though, it doesn't change the fact that you're an idiot.

1 . | .


holiday

:: 2005 23 March :: 1.23pm

haha I got Charlie an Easter basket. hehehe :-)

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holiday

:: 2005 23 March :: 1.20pm
:: Music: Thrice- Don't Tell and We Won't Ask

We don't need no evidence.
We won't ask you how you sleep at night...

I actually managed to get on the computer during the week. Things are busy. But I'm getting kind of used to it. Eh. I just want to sleep.
We have either 29 or 30 school days left, I forgot where I started the count. But things seem to be ending. School that is. It just went by so fast. But I've worked hard. It feels good to almost be done. Speaking of school. I have Calc to finish. :-( Sad Sad Sad.

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happygolucky4646

:: 2005 14 March :: 1.06pm
:: Music: Norma Jean ~ Face:Face


Leech with two daughters.
Give give they cry.
Her name is, she is a liar.
I refuse to be hers.
A kiss from her is one of the grave.
Bullets by her mouthfull an enemy at the six.
She simply will not die.

3 . | .


holiday

:: 2005 13 March :: 8.59pm
:: Music: Nekromantix- What's on your neighbor's bbq?

Well. Sometimes I just don't know what to do. But that is life, right?
I just can't wait to get out of this place/work routine. I am beginning to like it, but usually 2 months into a job, I start wanting to leave and getting lazy. Eh. We'll see. I'm doing well right now. I can't wait till I can move out.

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holiday

:: 2005 12 March :: 1.53pm
:: Music: The Mars Volta

I was kind of let down with The Jacket. The ending was kind of crazy and just thrown out there. And some things were just stupid.

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holiday

:: 2005 2 March :: 8.06am

i wish it was Friday.

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holiday

:: 2005 21 February :: 10.02pm
:: Music: The Shins

I bought the Garden State soundtrack Saturday. It is great. I've been listening to it all weekend.

P.S.-
I HATE CHICAGOOOOOO

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