jedibumblebee
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2023 20 April :: 11.19pm
:: Music: Bleachers- I wanna get better
I miss the days of a life still permanent
Hey, I hear the voice of a preacher from the back room
Calling my name and I follow just to find you
I trace the faith to a broken down television and put on the weather
And I've trained myself to give up on the past 'cause
I frozen time between hearses and caskets
Lost control when i panicked at the acid test
I wanna get better
While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines
I was losing my mind 'cause the love, the love, the love, the love, the love
That I gave wasted on a nice face
In a blaze of fear I put a helmet on a helmet
Counting seconds through the night and got carried away
So now I'm standing on the overpass screaming at the cars
Hey, I wanna get better!
I didn't know I was lonely 'til I saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I go up to my room and there's girls on the ceiling
Cut out their pictures and I chase that feeling
Of an eighteen year old who didn't know what loss was
Now I'm a stranger
And I miss the days of a life still permanent
Mourn the years before I got carried away
So now I'm staring at the interstate screaming at myself
Hey, I wanna get better!
I didn't know I was lonely 'til i saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
'Cause I'm sleeping in the back of a taxi
I'm screaming from my bedroom window
Even if it's gonna kill me
Woke up this morning early before my family
From this dream where she was trying to show me
How a life can move from the darkness
She said to get better
So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet
And I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away
That's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself
Hey, I wanna get better!
I didn't know I was lonely 'til i saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
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jedibumblebee
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2023 18 March :: 10.22pm
:: Music: Fall Out Boy- love from the other side
We're told we gotta get ahead, yeah No matter what it takes But there's no way off the hamster wheel on this rat race I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh
Model house life meltdown
Still a modern dream let down
It kills me, you know I'm dying out here
What would you trade the pain for?
I'm not sure
We were a hammer to the statue of David
We were a painting you could never frame and
You were the sunshine of my lifetime
What would you trade the pain for?
This city always hangs a little bit lonely on me
Loose, like a kid playing pretend in his father's suit
I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh
Got to give up
Get the feeling, get the feeling
Don't fight it, fight it
Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Generation sleep, I'm falling in and out of love
I'm getting that tilted feeling out here
What would you trade the pain for?
I'm not sure
Nowhere left for us to go but heaven
Summer falling through our fingers again and
You were the sunshine of my lifetime
What would you trade the pain for?
We're told we gotta get ahead, yeah
No matter what it takes
But there's no way off the hamster wheel on this rat race
I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh
Got to give up
Get the feeling, get the feeling
Don't fight it, fight it
Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
I saw you in a bright clear field
Hurricane heat in my head
The kind of pain you feel to get good in the end
Good in the end
Inscribed like stone and faded by the rain
"Give up what you love"
"Give up what you love, before it does you in"
Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Love from the other side of the apocalypse
And I just about snapped
Don't look back
Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand
Sending my love
Sending my love
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jedibumblebee
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2023 24 January :: 11.08pm
:: Music: Steve Aoki- Pretender
I'm just like you/ I'm a good pretender...
I'm a good pretender
Won't you come see my show?
Won't you come see my show?
I've got lots of problems
Well, good thing nobody knows
Good thing nobody knows
Oh, I'm insecure, I'm insecure
I think I like what I'm supposed to
Like what I'm supposed to
I don't even mess with drugs
I do that 'cause you say it's dope to
You say it is dope to
I'm a good pretender
I'm not really cool
I'm a good pretender
'Cause I'm just like you
I do not belong here
You all clearly do
But I'm a good pretender
So I'm just like you
I'm a good pretender
I'm a good pretender
Steve Aoki
Lil' Boat
I look happy in every picture
Just so you'd think I am
I never say no to pictures
'Cause that's just the person I am
In high school, I was tryna figure myself out
I was tryna be just like him (okay)
Tryna do things I don't usually do (why?)
I'm pretending to be too cool
I wish my mother had more sons
I wish my friends were my brothers
I wish my ex-girlfriend didn't cheat, she pretended to be my lover
In front of the camera screen
I make it look just like a movie scene
Diamonds on my hand, call me Lord of the Rings
Still insecure behind the scenes, though
Oh, I'm insecure, I'm insecure
I think I like what I'm supposed to
Like what I'm supposed to
I don't even mess with drugs
I do that 'cause you say it's dope to
You say it is dope to
I'm a good pretender
I'm not really cool (okay)
I'm a good pretender (yah)
'Cause I'm just like you (you)
I do not belong here (no)
You all clearly do
But I'm a good pretender
'Cause I'm just like you
I'm a good pretender
I'm a good pretender
I'm just like you, do you like me too?
Now I'm just like you
I'm a good pretender
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jedibumblebee
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2023 19 January :: 8.43pm
:: Music: Green Day- Waiting
Oh, so close enough to taste it/ Almost, I can embrace this/ Feeling on the tip of my tongue
I've been waiting a long time
For this moment to come, I'm
Destined for anything at all
Downtown, lights will be shining
On me, like in a diamond
Ring out under the midnight hour
Well, no one can touch me now, well
And I can't turn my back, it's
Too late, ready or not at all
Well, I'm so much closer than
I have ever known
Wake up!
Dawning of a new era calling
Don't let it catch you falling
Ready or not at all
Oh, so close enough to taste it
Almost, I can embrace this
Feeling on the tip of my tongue
Well, I'm so much closer than
I have ever known
Wake up!
Better thank your lucky stars
Say, hey, hey
Well, I'm so much closer than
I have ever known
Wake up!
You better thank your lucky stars
Say, hey, hey!
I've been waiting a lifetime
For this moment to come, I'm
Destined for anything at all
Dumbstruck, color me stupid
Good luck, you're gonna need it
Where I'm going, if I get there at all
Wake up!
And better thank your lucky stars
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jedibumblebee
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2023 2 January :: 11.50pm
:: Music: Sia- Chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow don't exist
Party girls don't get hurt
Can't feel anything, when will I learn?
I push it down, I push it down
I'm the one for a "good time call"
Phone's blowin' up, ringin' my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
Throw 'em back 'til I lose count
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
From the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night
Feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
From the chandelier
But I'm holding on for dear life
Won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
Won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight
Sun is up, I'm a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame (ah)
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
One, two, three, one, two, three, drink
Throw 'em back 'til I lose count
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
From the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night
Feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier
From the chandelier
But I'm holding on for dear life
Won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
Won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight, on for tonight
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight, on for tonight
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight
Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight
On for tonight, on for tonight
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jedibumblebee
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2022 11 November :: 10.56pm
If the stars were edible
And our hearts were never full
Could we live with just a taste?
Just a taste...
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jedibumblebee
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2022 26 October :: 9.01pm
:: Music: AJR- Karma
You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?/ The universe works in mysterious ways/ But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me
I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly
I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
I've been so good, but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
Why, are you asking me why?
My days and nights are filled with disappointment
Fine, oh no, everything's fine
I'm not sure why I booked today's appointment
I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly
I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
I've been so good, but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
What, am I normal or not?
Am I crazier than other patients?
Right, I've done everything right
So where's the karma doc, I've lost my patience
'Cause I've been so good, I've been working my ass off
I've been so good, still, I'm lonely and stressed out
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
And I've been so good, but it's still getting harder
I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?
I've been so good, I've been so good this year
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
I've been so good this year
I've been so good this year
Time, I know we're out of time
But what if sad thoughts come and I can't stop it
Bye, I don't wanna say bye
If only I could keep you in my pocket
To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow
Please give me instructions, I promise I'll follow
I tripped on my ankle and fractured my elbow
But doesn't that mean that the tour's gonna sell though?
I try to explain the good faith that's been wasted
But after an hour it sounds like complaining
Wait don't go away, can I lie here forever?
You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?
The universe works in mysterious ways
But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me
Doctor, should I be good?
Should I be good this year?
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jedibumblebee
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2022 1 July :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: AJR- World's Smallest Violin
Now come in with the timpanis/ And take a shot of Hennessy/ I know I'm not there mentally/ But you could be the remedy
My grandpa fought in World War II
He was such a noble dude
I can't even finish school
Missed my mom and left too soon
His dad was a fireman
Who fought fires so violent
I think I bored my therapist
While playing him my violin
that's so insane
(Oh my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my shit don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be said
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
Just let me play my violin for you, you, you, you
My grandpa fought in World War II
And he was such a noble dude
Man I feel like such a fool
I got so much left to prove
All my friends have vaping friends
They're so good at making friеnds
I'm so scared of caving in
Is that entertaining yеt?
that's so insane
(Oh my God) that's such a shame
Next to them, my shit don't feel so grand
But I can't help myself from feeling bad
I kinda feel like two things can be said
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
Just let me play my violin for you, you, you, you
Somewhere in the universe
Somewhere someone's got it worse
Wish that made it easier
Wish I didn't feel the hurt
The world's smallest violin
Really needs an audience
So if I do not find somebody soon
I'll blow up into smithereens
And spew my tiny symphony
All up and down a city street
While tryna put my mind at ease
Like finishing this melody
This feels like a necessity
So this could be the death of me
Or maybe just a better me
Now come in with the timpanis
And take a shot of Hennessy
I know I'm not there mentally
But you could be the remedy
So let me play my violin for you
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jedibumblebee
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2021 17 November :: 10.57pm
:: Music: AJR and Daisy the Great- Record Player
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is/ Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive.
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I'm in an elevator, it's goin' down, down, down
I spent forever with my feet on the ground
But not now (not now)
'Cause I don't wanna do the wrong thing
Guess I gotta go and get famous for doin' nothing
Da-da-da-da-da
Crack a smile, crack a smile
Da-da-da-da-da
Stay a while, stay a while
Da-da-da-da-da
Am I holdin' for applause?
Is it gone? Is this on?
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I'm in the simulator, I'm doin' a-okay
But every day is just rewind and replay
Not today
I'll head out to Monterey
Throw my phone into the waves
Can you see it in my eyes? Am I finally awake?
Crack a smile, crack a smile
Stay a while, stay a while
I think the best is yet to come
So drink up and good luck
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
I've got a record player that was made in 2014
Dyed my hair blue, it came out a seasick sort of green
I like vintage dresses when they fall just below my knees
I pretend I scraped them climbing in the trees
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm climbing in the trees
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jedibumblebee
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2021 15 October :: 3.46pm
:: Music: Olivia Rodrigo- brutal
They say these are the golden years/ But I wish I could disappear/ Ego crush is so severe/ God, it's brutal out here...
I want it to be, like, messy
I'm so insecure, I think
That I'll die before I drink
And I'm so caught up in the news
Of who likes me and who hates you
And I'm so tired that I might
Quit my job, start a new life
And they'd all be so disappointed
'Cause who am I, if not exploited?
And I'm so sick of 17
Where's my fucking teenage dream?
If someone tells me one more time
"Enjoy your youth, " I'm gonna cry
And I don't stick up for myself
I'm anxious and nothing can help
And I wish I'd done this before
And I wish people liked me more
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
(Yeah!)
I feel like no one wants me
And I hate the way I'm perceived
I only have two real friends
And lately, I'm a nervous wreck
'Cause I love people I don't like
And I hate every song I write
And I'm not cool and I'm not smart
And I can't even parallel park
All I did was try my best
This the kind of thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
(Yeah! Just having a really good time)
Got a broken ego, broken heart
(It's brutal out here, it's brutal out here)
And God, I don't even know where to start
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