m&ms487
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2004 3 May :: 7.10pm
:: Mood: satisfied
:: Music: Hoobastank-The reason
I'm finally done with it!
I know you still look,
At me like you did then,
And it's so confusing.
That's what kept me going
Back and forth
Back and forth
And driving me to the
Point of insanity,
Until the cup spilled,
And it all came rushing out.
And now I find,
That I have the strength,
Not to participate,
Any longer.
And that is a relief,
I haven't known for a long while.
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m&ms487
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2004 2 May :: 6.47pm
I feel like shit. This is just SO much fun. UUUUGGHH...mommy, i don't wannna be sickkkkkkk........
Just drug me up and send me off. I'll be okay.
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m&ms487
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2004 30 April :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: contemplative
This is my 368th journal entry. Go me.
Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss your teeth so you'll have healthy gums in your old age, and then you get in your car and drive down I-10 and die. Life is so stupid I can't stand it. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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m&ms487
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2004 30 April :: 9.25pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: Where are you now-michelle branch
Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness. ~André Gide, L'immoraliste
People are so frustrating. I don't know why they do what they do. I'm not sure I want to know, because then I would know the truth. I don't think I want to know that. Remember, you are only as sick as your secrets.
Have fun with those, kids.
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m&ms487
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2004 26 April :: 9.20pm
:: Mood: content
This is what I'm thinking:
1. Segement Two is done Wednesday
2. I'm not going to take the MEAPS this year
3. I've run out of interesting things to talk about
4. That means that this entry is over
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m&ms487
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2004 24 April :: 10.03pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: blink 182- I miss you
My very unimportant life
Yesterday was a long long day. I went to school and was throughly confused like every other day. Our substitute for Chem failed to show up, so we had free reign of the classroom for all of second hour. In third hour (drama) we had that super fun lady, mrs. kaiser. what a bitch. I think you've all had her at one time or another, she's the one that wears the air purifier around her neck, and screams at anyone that accidentally puts on lotion. I couldn't help it if turtle and i had dry hands.
Fourth hour, had a quiz. Nothing new. I'm going to go and finish that novel tomorrow. Huckleberry Finn. Not a hard read at all, and I like it because it's fast paced and is so literal. Lunch, food. I'm weaning myself off of caffiene. It's not working too well.
Fifth hour, Civics, with Ahmed. It was time for my lovely debate, and I do believe that my statistics about the bodies found in the WTC rubble really did help my arguement. Over 19,000 separate body parts were found. There were only 259 bodies intact. Almost 3,000 people died. I wouldn't have wanted to clean that up at all. Oh, and my subject was about secrect evidence via the Patriot Act signed into law on October 26, 2001 by Bush. Really, not much to argue for, I certainly don't believe it helps anything, but that just makes it all the better that I'm winning on absolutely nothing but my debating skills.
I took my quiz in sixth hour (algebra II) and I got an eighty. I forgot what the mantissa and characteristic were. Actually, i switched them around. I should have double checked in the book, but i didn't. oh well. I still have to do that whole chapter of homework before the test. The test is Monday.
Jessie rode the bus home with me. I enjoyed that. Carl tied his shoe to the air vent in the top of the bus, and left it there. He also put pieces of yellow duct tape on the ceiling, almost like streamers. It actually looked pretty cool.
We had to be to school again around four, so we got chinese and ate it in the band hallway. Yes, my friends, that's why it smelled so bad.
The bus ride to Coopersville is scenic. Cows and fields and more cows and barns.
Wind Ensemble got straight two's. We deserved it. Our performance was no where it could have been, but we performed as we did in class. Our band could be so damn good if a few people just practiced a little more, but you can't force people to do something that they don't want to do. I got really stressed out about a few things that shall remain unknown at the moment while we were there. Being around certain people for too long is like slowly poisening yourself. I ended up balling my eyes out for about an hour. I talked to Alice about a few things and it really helped to know that I wasn't alone for what I felt and what I thought.
On the bus ride home i sat across from the lesbians known as becky and jessie. No, i'm just kidding, but i think they should stay away from caffiene and sugar, though. We can blame it on the cupcakes. I sat with Zac and we talked about a lot of things on the ride home. I haven't talked to him like that since Florida, and it was really nice. The only bad part about the whole bus ride home was the really annoying red flashing light in the front of the bus from the camera. At least I'm short enough to duck below the seat so I couldn't see it. It was giving me a headache. I just devoted two sentences to a flashing red light. That's pretty sad.
Anyway, so I got home and completely crashed. Well, I read my tarot cards first. And then I went to sleep. It helped me understand everything a lot better.
This morning I got up at seven and went to flute choir. Our snare drummer for our march came today and it helped that song so much. I play bass flute on it, and it was awesome because everyone finally stayed together. On our mass number, Ode to Joy, i stood next to this one girl. She played really really loud. And she couldn't count. I didn't say anything to her because i didn't want to be mean, but I won't be by her next weekend. By the way, our concert is next Saturday night (In grand rapids), see me or the poster on the bandroom door if you're interested.
So then I went up to the lake and worked for a few hours. We went out for supper to the Coral Bar. That was fun. The band that was playing there really sucked though, and they were way too loud. Although, I wasn't too worried, because they're a bar band. That's just what bar bands do.
I got back to the lake, and I had already decided that I wasn't going to stay the night for certain reasons, so I came home. Sam and Alaina and various cousins of mine were there. They're probably all watching some movies right now. Oh well. You do what you gotta do.
Congrats if you made it through my enormously long entry. If you didn't, I don't care. It's just my life. I'm not sure it even interests me sometimes.
michelle.
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m&ms487
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2004 24 April :: 8.17pm
I decide to stay home tonight and not be with all of them. It would have been fun. So I get here, and no one is on.
Wait, Jacqui is on.
This is good.
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m&ms487
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2004 21 April :: 4.31pm
I hate it when the truth is, well, true.
School didn't go too bad today. We've been playing in the auditorium for band because of the damn noise in/around/by the bandroom. Chemistry, of course, a third of the class was missing because of senior interviews. We worked on those stupid grams to moles acid/base reactions crap. Make up quiz tomorrow. I got a 60% on the first one.
Drama, let's not get into that. Monologues due tomorrow..
American Lit- Uhh. I hate that class with a passion. She makes us write these questions out, like..What does Doctor Robinson symbolize? We have to write the answer in a minumum of one paragragh, using two direct quotes, and explain how the relavance of the question relates to the message.
And then she throws them away.
Lunch, always a fun time.
Civics is a joke.
Algebra II, I finally did the work today, becaue I understood what he taught, and I did it right. Go me.
Bus ride home. I'll be so happy when I have my license.
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m&ms487
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2004 19 April :: 6.58pm
:: Mood: confused
There is no one to trust anymore,
You've all become corrupt,
I see your hypocritical words,
Chained together in sentences,
You don't know what you want.
You don't know what you need.
I thought you would be there,
To catch me when I fell,
But I shouldn't have expected it,
You've never done it before,
But you weren't there.
You stepped back,
Watched it happen,
And you said you felt so bad,
But you'll do nothing,
And say nothing,
And just keep on doing it,
And that's the part that's sad.
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m&ms487
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2004 15 April :: 9.10pm
:: Mood: chipper
(from Tabletop's Journal)
I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions. Anything you want. Then go to your journal and copy and paste this, allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything
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m&ms487
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2004 15 April :: 8.48pm
:: Mood: content
All the boys that I am friends with are so fucking retarded. What is it? Let's be fucking Retarded week or something?
I stayed after school today to copy the music for next marching season so i could take it home and obessively play it. You know I did.
Congrats to the following people who made Field Commander:
1. Roman
2. Shae
3. Dani
Everyone who tried out was good, but they all had their negative points, too.
Congrats to the section leaders, also (note-that would be me, also).
Also, in further band news, I challenged Dani and won by three fucking points out of over 500. It's always so close between us.
After I did that stuff for band, Lisa and I played tennis for a while until we left because the boy's team had a match. We went to my house and ate pudding at the picnic table. It was an adventure.
-michelle-
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m&ms487
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2004 14 April :: 7.08pm
:: Mood: contemplative
I was standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes and the window was open. I felt the warm evening breeze and I wondered, did I really want to miss this?
The answer is no. I was in too deep to see what I would be missing. I'm glad I didn't.
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m&ms487
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2004 11 April :: 5.24pm
:: Mood: drained
Easter
Church, crying babies, bad breath (not me), chanting catholics that sound like the KKK, tall ladies sitting in front of me so when i kneel (and she didn't) i got a face full of her bun that added an extra 10 inches to her, my grandmother who is very catty about the organist (and the choir, and the violinist, and the reader..), retarded cousins who have fat boyfriends and brag about them, sugar, Easter cards, the good silverware, cousins being retarded some more, my catty aunt, food, ham, more of the retarded cousins, more sugar, looking at my grandfather's old pictures, cousins being even more retarded, even more sugar in the form of jelly beans this time, and then the cousins, yet again, were retarded. And hyperactive due to the pounds of sugar they ingested.
Heh. At least I don't have to deal with them now.
It's enough to make me want to shoot myself sometimes.
Happy Easter Everyone
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m&ms487
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2004 10 April :: 9.07pm
:: Mood: bouncy
For what it's worth, it's worth all the while. It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life.
Really, I do.
-michelle-
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m&ms487
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2004 9 April :: 7.35pm
I think..............i need to go lay down
Today was odd. To say the least. Today was my last day of sleeping in. Tomorrow i have to go work at the lake, and Sunday I get to go to church. I think it's to make up for avoiding it all year. Yup, probably. I'm not the world's most religious person. I think organized religion is just a breeding ground for corruption, mass control, dicatorship, and a little pinch of tyranny. Not that it's a bad thing.........sure. Right.
Anyway, I got some tarot cards yesterday. They're fun. When we get back to school, I'll bring them, so anyone that want's a reading, feel free. It's fun, and they have gorgeous pictures on them.
I don't like MSN messenger right now. It told me to be able to sign in I had to download a new version. It's been fifteen minutes, and i'm not even half way done.
I think everything is just going past me today. I can't concentrate on anything. Is there such a thing as a case of 24 hour ADD?
hmm...
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