A lot has been taking place lately, recently moved from bentleyville to weedville..its about 3 1/2 hours away and i miss my friends and family so much. I have family up here but my mother isn't here, which really sucks..she doesn't get to see elise and i don't get to see my sister, Brianna who is 5 1/2 years old..time flys! wow.
I don't really have any friends anymore, i'm a bum who goes on the internet looking for conversation and i feel pitiful sometimes, i just miss being younger when there was no worries, nothing to stand in my way.. I had loads of friends and fun.. but all that is over now, its more reality.. it did just me for the better though, and i love being a mother.
Sometimes i just feel so alone.
Few of my old friends had or is having a baby, and i'm delighted for them i wish them all the best, we all grow up, some just faster than others.
Have you ever wanted to go back into the past? if its just to change somethings or just re-live it? i do to an extent of course, my situations would have been better and decisions of course; more wiser.
I'm jobless for the time being all though i did put applications in, everyone is losing there jobs, getting laid off or getting the hours cut.. Its hard for everyone anymore, the economy is bad.. "Barack Obama" isn't going to make anything any better though.. BUT we will see. hmm.
Lance has a ajob so hes supporting myself and our darling, beautiful child, Elise Renee whom is now a year old. Were doing the best we can and doing it well.. We are so blessed and wouldn't change it any other way. I won't lie i miss a lot of things, but change is good, ya know?
I want to move back to Washington Co., but we will see later in time right now we need to get our priorities straight, in which is coming along great!
We live in a big 4bedroom, 2bathroom white house.. old as hell from 1919 but its cool for now..

Oh!
I think my cat is pregnant her belly is so big, so of course i cater to her i know what its like to be miserable and tired..big fat cow syndrome. lol

had a puppy gave it to a better home, couldn't really afford the cute little things..he was a black lab mixed with american bulldog..so cute i tell ya, i wish him and his new family the best!

had a chocolate siamese cat..he sprayed everywhere out of pure jealously so he got a new home fast! and i didn't want a single penny for him, great house cat.. just wanted the best for him as well.. so its just
elise, lance, myself and bailey(female cat)
were getting by just fine.

i am on a mission to loose this flab and i will continue to do so until something changes in my weight, i'm really pushing myself and it needs to be done.. I'm sick and tired of feeling gross.. i want to be sexy! i look good but i want to be "fine" lol, i'm such a tard.

trying every diet on this planet nothing works for me but i WILL find something!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm determined.
Because i am tired of myself and seeing all these other chicks who give weight loss a bad name. My minds at ease and my spirit is high, i can do this, I WILL DO THIS.

thanks for reading.
tata.

crush me