swimfan14
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2005 21 November :: 10.39pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Anything But Ordinary-Avril Lavigne
So I was going to write this whole long entry but I don't really feel the need to anymore.
Friday-kids show, pizza, charlie & the chocolate factory, went home for two hours, show, IHOP.
Saturday-show, annalise's, show, cast party. At the cast party I cried for a long long time and so did April and alot of the seniors. I don't feel like explaining why so if you were in the play then you'll know why and if you weren't then don't bother asking.
Saturday night-Mikki's house.
Sunday-Aprils house then to Strike.
That was it I guess. I wasn't going to come to school today because I wanted to sleep in but then I remembered April I promised I would go and she promised me she would go so we both just, went.
I'm really happy that we talked today. I haven't talked to him in so long.
I'm happy that tomorrow is our last day of school.
Lisa and I are going shopping on Friday since it's the biggest shopping day of the year!!! I'm excited. We now have Lisa and Ashley days which are like once a week lol. We are dorks haha but I'm going to post pictures from the play soon.
Love always, Ashley
Your so predictable.
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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere
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2005 21 November :: 6.05pm
:: Mood: sappy
i'm bleeding and i'm heartless; but i'm yours
I can't help that I like to be kissed
And I wouldn't mind if my name changed to Mrs.
This is one side, my conventional side
An attraction to tradition
My vintage disposition
My sincere architecture
And I want to cook him dinner
But I'm more indecisive than ever
And who believes in forever?
today wasn't so bad.. i wasn't so tired as i usually am when i'm at school.. i wouldn't say i payed attention but i was there [haha]. called ben when i got home and then i 3 wayed jena so we had our plans straight for tomorrow and wednesday after school.. there coming over tomorrow and wed. were going to the movies or something; whatever we do, we do. [lol]. but i know we will have fun! i got asked to the christmas dance today from some mexican guy.. of course i turned him down because for one i don't go to those kind of things, two its like $35 dollars and i'm broke as it is.. three i don't like him or wanna go with him and four i just dunno, ahaha. i really can't see myself do anything like that i'm used to being in a relationship for 2 years and not doing anything with anyone else [meaning going out and shit] but it's just so complicated i'm starting to realize i'm either destined to be alone. i honestly don't know my mind is so jumbled -so confused- i just don't know what i want anymore. this is just the time for me to have fun and be a teenager with my friends.
& mabey one day my prince will come around?
2 heartless people |
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swimfan14
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2005 21 November :: 4.02pm
Lost and broken
Hopeless and lonely
Smiling on the outside
But hurt beneath my skin
My eyes are fading
My soul is bleeding
I try to make it seem ok
But my faith is wearing thin
So help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That I'm open
And I'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And I need someone to help me sew them up
I only wanted a magazine
I only wanted the movie screens
And now my mind is an open book
And now my heart is and open soul for all to see
I need someone to help me fill them
I need someone to help me sew them up
4 heartless people |
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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere
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2005 20 November :: 9.48pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: guns 'n' roses - knocking on heavens door
to much to handle
I feel like a ship beneath the waves
A child who's lost its way
A door without a key
A face without a name
I feel like a breath without the air
And every day's the same
since you've gone away
all this shit is getting to me
i just can't take it...
so many things running through my head [i don't know what to do, i don't understand].. i just wish i knew the answers.
i wish you'd want me again
1 heartless people |
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swimfan14
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2005 20 November :: 8.37pm
:: Mood: Depressed
So I was going to write all about this weekend but now I'm out of time and I typed out everything and then I didn't like how it sounded so I erased the whole thing and then I typed it again and I still thought people wouldn't understand and I want them to so I just decided that I'm going to write it tomorrow when I have more time to think and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
<3 ashley
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swimfan14
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2005 19 November :: 10.56am
This isn't going to happen.
I wont let it.
Now my whole day is ruined.
4 heartless people |
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swimfan14
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2005 18 November :: 4.04pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: The Used
I have an hour before I have to be at school for our second show of the day and I don't even know what to do. I haven't had time to myself or time not to do anything in forever. Today we had to be at school before it started to get ready for the childrens show. After we were all ready April, Mikki, Megan, and I all watched Laguna Beach. I love that show. Anyways the show was so much fun. Little kids are so adorable. Afterwards we could pretty much do whatever we wanted so Megan and I hung out with Emily and Pam since they are office aids and they weren't doing anything. We got to go to our normal lunch in full costume and makeup and see everyone. Everyone was amazed when they seen us..haha like we wouldn't normally be wearing tutu's and monkey costumes? Kidding. Afterwards we ordered pizza and then we just watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in the auditorium. Most of us fell asleep on the stage and when I woke up school was over so here I am now. Tonight after the show the whole cast is going to ihop to eat and we have to go in full costume and makeup again even though it's like 2 degrees outside lol. Oh well. Tonight at the play I have to wink at Emily when I'm on stage lol. She's such a dork but anyways I should get going.
<3 ashley megan
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swimfan14
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2005 17 November :: 10.51pm
The play was really awesome tonight!! I wasn't even nervous at all but Annalise and I couldn't stop laughing in our munchkin house's. I got a dozen roses and then Missy gave me a single rose too. I miss her. She is one of the nicest people I know. Anyways tomorrow is going to be a long day but at least we don't have to go to any classes. Two shows tomorrow=tiring.
What the hell? You really upset me sometimes. I just need to go to bed. I have a long weekend ahead of me.
sweet sixteen . beauty queen looking
through her magazine && everyone
thinks she has everything while deep inside she’s crying
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xxinterrupted
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2005 17 November :: 9.05pm
:: Mood: depressed
So now that I wrote about my drama with Jim today.. I figured I'd write about my days.
Yesterday.. [Wed.] Becky Amy and I got in trouble for the whole "Jumping into the trunk" thing. Becky and I got 1 day after school, and Amy got 20 days without her driving pass.. Mr. Telerico laughed about it, said it was funny blah blah blah. The funny thing is, is that the teacher wouldn't have even known if some LOUD MOUTH would have kept her f-ing mouth shut.
Today [Thursday] I presented my graduation project. I went in there, I was prepared.. then I went to put my video in and it wouldn't work. I cried in front of 7 teachers.. But I guess something was wrong with the VCR they used because someone elses didn't work either.. so I went back up like an hour later and showed them my video. I brought Gabby with me, and they were all like "awwww she's beautiful." Yeah, she is. I know. :)
I was just messing around and I took this quiz..
what a co-ink-i-dink::Read more..
1 heartless people |
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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere
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2005 17 November :: 3.33pm
bitch what the fuck?
I HATE LITTLE GIRLS
anyways lastnite me and my mother got into it because im tryin to go to a alternative school called phase 4. theres one in washington and one in monesson im tryin to go to either one lol. i would be able to graduate this yr. and i get out at 11:30am. so yeah i mean come on plus the works easier. and i told her i wanted to go back to my old school if she doesnt sign me in or look into a alternative school lmao. it sucks not seeing everyone. hmm
this girl better watch out before i rip her eyelids off. ugh.
^ to a girl i want to rot n die cause i hate her so much with a burning passion
sometimes u gotta let people know whos in charge! :)
1 heartless people |
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swimfan14
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2005 16 November :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: Exhausted
I promise I wont let you down if you take my hand tonight.
I promise we'll be just fine this time, if you take my hand tonight.
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TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere
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2005 16 November :: 6.38pm
:: Mood: crabby
:: Music: 10 years - wasteland
doodle doodle doodle da da
whoa i need to get back on track and update daily.. sorry kiddos.
Wed- last day of school had a 4 day weekend woop woop.
Thurs- was with kelly
Fri- Went to rolands and played Monopoly from 7pm-12am. haha fun fun.
Sat- Went to wal*mart with my mom and just chilled with my mom,sis,step dad, aunt and cousin.
Sun- Went with jena to the movies to see Saw II. it was real good i liked it alot. but i liked me and jena spending time together; its been awhile since we hung out. i really missed her.
Mon-Went to gay ass school.. came home and slept.
Tues- My aunt and cousin went back home (even thought i got annoyed easily with them i miss them alot). i got to stay home but also i had 2 watch my sissy for a few hours [we had a blast!] hehe. then when my ma came home we went to washington to see my aunt missy and plus my step dad had to remodel her kitchen 'n' shit..so i decided to go to the mall..i got a shirt at dots [green and white with a pocket on the boobie lol] also 3 pairs of really cute underwear!.. (we all know im a undies fanatic. ugh).. then i went to Pac Sun cause there having sales i got a shirt [orange, pink and white]. then Spencers for new gauged earrings. i'm like the only one with my ears gauged in school lol but hey thats meeeeeee. :). also me and mark got into it. hmm what else is new. (i try to get over him but it doesnt work out)
Wed Not having a good day really everything is getting to me. i hate school im not doing well on the second nine weeks. and i'm taking to many xanaxs.. my worlds coming to an end. little girls think they can try and take us cool folks men.. but WRONG-O SISTA!! lmao.. ILL STAB U IN THE FACE BITCH!!!! hahahaha oh yes indeed. :):)
i keep thinking of my ex boyfriend danny, i do miss him, he gets out in march i believe.. i would like to write to him and see how he is but my mom hates him... shes like 'if u get back with that lowlife i wont want to have anything to do with you!' im like 'but mom. i never said i was going to i just wanna see how he is!!!!! ugh she just said "w/e i'll get u a fucking stamp" i doubt she will stick to her word but oh well. i can talk to whoever i want to... also earlier today i talked to my mom on the phone bout another school since she wont let me go back to bentworth; called PHASE 4 not the one in washington but the one in Monessen. i will graduate early and get out of school at 11:30am instead of 2:18pm. and less kids to put up with... i mean ringgold is okay and i did make new kickass friends but i just cant take the 'other' peers and the teachers and the fucking work. i just cant im assuming school isnt cut out for me. never the less. hmm* wel im outtie.
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silverstar
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2005 16 November :: 12.25pm
:: Mood: grumpy
Report Cards came today and I did surprisingly well! I would of made freakin honor roll if it wasnt for damn accounting! I just cant pay attention in that class, its so boring. Oh well i'm happy with it. Now i just hope i can keep my grades up because i'm already feeling the senioritis coming on and we still have 3 more 9 weeks to go! Tomorrow we only have half a day which is really gay because we get out at like 10:51 to be exact lol. Its for all the slacker seniors that didnt do their graduation project last year. I'm so glad that i passed mine last year cause i definitely dont feel like doing anything this year.
Last nite Bleu and i went to the mall. I attempted to do some christmas shopping and the only thing i bought was this thing for my gram. I just cant seem to get in the holiday spirit anymore. I dont know if its just because i'm older or what but its just not exciting anymore. I'm like give me money and i'll be happy! lol
4 heartless people |
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swimfan14
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2005 15 November :: 10.26pm
I'm so tired. Dress rehearsal seemed like it took forever. Micky, Veronica, and I had to go into Great Day to get something while we were in full costume and makeup and wow did everyone look at us. Everyone kept asking us what we were doing. It was pretty fun and then we had to explain to them 1234028408 times that we are in the play. Tomorrow we have dress rehearsal again so I probably wont be home until right now once again. After school I'm going to April's house. It should be pretty fun.
Anyways here are pictures from yesterday!!
Read more..
I was going to show pictures from tonight but I want everyone to wait to see what we all look like if you come to the play!!
Anyways I should get going. I have to wash off all this makeup. It's gross, trust me.
<3 ashley
Oh yeah sorry these pictures are so big!!
Edit: Well, actually, the pictures aren't big anymore, I don't know how that happened, but someone must love me! ;)
4 heartless people |
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xxinterrupted
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2005 15 November :: 8.09pm
:: Mood: depressed
So Doctor Beck, Mono is the sickness that I have?
Damn.
School is dumb, I want it to be Christmas break..
I am depressed.. still.
Although we've come to the end of the road
Still I can't let go,
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
Here, here I am again
And I'm starin at these same four walls
Alone again
And now, all the colors blend
And I'm growing numb
And I've become this empty page
Hold on, its tragic
Stumbling through all this static
I just wanna talk to you
And my broken heart just has no use
And I guess promises are better left unsaid, yeah
Everytime you try to tell me
You say the words that I'm the only
But I'm the one who's crawling on the ground
When you say love makes the world go 'round
Oh, the things lovers do when it's over
Oh, the things lovers do when it's done
Find a cool bottle or a warm shoulder
Wake up older
And try to move on
4 heartless people |
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