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swimfan14

:: 2005 30 October :: 4.34pm

I just love it when people ask me that question....

Not really.

2 heartless people | crush me


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 30 October :: 12.26pm
:: Mood: sad

So Friday around 3:30 I called Jim to see if he wanted Gabby and I to come over.. he said "Sure, call me back at 5:00 because I'm doing something right now." [I knew what he was doing, so I understood] So I called him back and called him back and didn't get ahold of him until like 6:30 by then Gabby was sleeping and he was like "Oh, I'm sorry Jeff said he was gonna stay down here cause he was waiting for a phone call." Okay, whatever. I understood. So then I asked him since Gabby was sleeping if he wanted to go to the movies with me. He said "yeah sure. Call me back at 6:00." So I called him back, he told me to call him back again [because he wanted to make sure his mom wasn't coming home that night.], so I called him back again at 7:30.. no answer. I called him again at 7:45, no answer.. I kept calling until 8:05.. no answer. So I called one last time at 9:00. No answer.

I'm done. I'm putting in my resignation as his friend, and as his wanna-be-girlfriend.

I haven't and won't call him. If he calls me, I'm not answering.

2 heartless people | crush me


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 29 October :: 3.10pm
:: Mood: depressed

Personality Test
Read more..

2 heartless people | crush me


swimfan14

:: 2005 29 October :: 10.40am

Okay so lately I've been going picture crazy so now I'm going to post tons more. Some of them are from when I was a baby and some are from two days ago lol

Read more..


2 heartless people | crush me


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 28 October :: 10.05pm
:: Mood: depressed

[The Basics]
Full name: Jena Maria Pust
Date of birth: 1-27-88
Gender: Female
Location: PA
Ethnicity: White
Zodiac sign: Aquarius.
Reason for taking survey: Bored, something to get being ditched AGAIN off my mind..

[Going Deeper]
If any, name any phobias you have: None that I know of.
Do you drink: Sometimes.
Do you smoke: No.
If any, what drugs have you done: Just smoked some weed.
Now do the same for your family: USA
Are you a junk food person or a healthy eater: Both.
Living arrangements: I live with my Aunt and Uncle.
Name any pets you have: None anymore..
Siblings: Two sisters Samantha and Anna.. and one brother Dustin, all who I miss very much.
Do you like your school: Do you like getting shot in the head? I don’t think so.
What is your favourite class: Career and Office Applications
What is your least favourite: I like all my classes.
What genre of movie do you prefer: Drama.
Are you into self categorization? No, I dress/act different all the time.


[Favorites]
Time of the year: Spring/Fall.
Friend: I don’t pick favorites.
Family member: I love most of my family, [[with a few exceptions]] I don’t have any favs.
Animal: None.
Sweet food: Depends on my mood.
Colour: Green.
Sitcom: Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy, Nip Tuck.
Cartoon: Scooby Doo.
TV channel: TNT
Pastime: Being with Jim
Drug: uhh.. none anymore.
Magazine: Cosmo
Games console: PS2.
Website: woohu.com
Swear word: Fuck.
Ice-cream flavour: Oreo.
Clothing brand, if any: Anything from Delias.
Store: Delias.
Place to relax: Jims
Place to shop: South Hills Village.
Place to party: Wherever.

[Do you believe in..]
God: Sometimes.
A counter-god, or devil: Yeah.
Reincarnation: No.
The Soul: Not really..
Evolution: Somewhat.
Angels: Somewhat.
Karma: YES
Do you celebrate Christmas: Yes.
How do you celebrate your birthday: Depends..
What is your religion: I’m not religious.
Does your family have any special customs: No.
Have you ever converted from another religion or atheism: No.
Are you a vegetarian: No.

[For the Older Kids, Sex!]
Are you a virgin: No
If applicable, did you like your first time: Yes..
Ever given head: Yes.
Ever done anal: Haha, yes.
Does S&M appeal to you: No.
Do you watch pornography: Yes.
How often do you masturbate: I don’t.
Ever had sex while drunk: Yes.
Do you regret any sexual incidents that occurred on your part: No.
Do you consider yourself sexually attractive: No.
Favourite sexual position: I have many.
Tell us about any of your personal beliefs regarding sex: I just feel you should only have sex with someone you love.. not just anyone who’s there.

[Your Love Life]
Are you in a relationship right now: No..
Describe your current, or most recent relationship: It was great, until I ruined it.
Are you, or have you ever been in love: Yes.
What's your sexual orientation: Straight.
Are you, or do you plan on getting married: Yeah, someday.
Do you believe in soul-mates: Yes.
Do you think long-distance love is possible: No.
Could you see yourself being unfaithful: No.
What do you notice about the opposite sex first: Hair.
Biggest turn-offs: Yucky teeth.
Taller or shorter than you: Taller.
Ever broken someone's heart: Yes.
Has someone ever broken yours: Everyday anymore.
Do/would you have children: I have a child.

[Your Bad Side]
Do you steal, or have you stolen: Yes [I have]
If so, was it from a store or a person you know: Yes.
Have you been intimate with someone else's significant other: No.
Do you take advantage of other peoples' kindness: No.
Have you lied to your parents: Yes.
Do you get jealous easily: YES. I fucking hate it.
Do you have a bad temper: Oh God, yes.
Have you ever made someone cry: Yes.
Ever physically hurt someone: Yes.
Do you consider yourself racist: No.
Must you always seek vengeance: HAhaha, yes.

[This or That]
Alcohol or Marijuana: Alcohol.
Coca-Cola or Pepsi: Coke.
A quiet evening at home or a wild night out: Depends on my mood.
Extreme intelligence or unbelievable beauty: Half and half.
A permanent, stable relationship or an insane sex life: A permanent, stable relationship.
Christmas without gifts, or Christmas without everything else: Without gifts
Rock or Rap: Rock.
The ability to fly or the ability to be invisible: Be invisible.
Hearing or seeing: Not sure.
Depression or anxiety: They’re both terrible.. so.. neither, please.
Immortality without the ability to die, or mortality: Mortality.
Death by freezing, or burning: Freezing.
Death by suffocation or being stabbed: Stabbed.
Lots of acquaintances or a few close friends: Few close friends.
To be a singer or an actor/actress: Actress
Eternal day or eternal night: Night.
X-Ray vision or psychic abilities: Psychic abilities.
Sweet or savory: Sweet.
To never sleep or to never eat: Never eat.
To eat as much as you want or to sleep as much as you want: Sleep as much as I want.
World domination or infinite knowledge of all things: Knowledge of all things.
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera: Neither, thanks.
Bush or Kerry: Bush
To resort to cannibalism or to die: Die.

[The Last]
Person you talked to: Jim.
Person you argued with: Jim.
Person you hugged: Jim.
Person you kissed: Jim.
Person you texted: Chuck.
Person you had sex with: Jim
Phone call: Jim.
Thing you ate: Pepperoni Pizza.
Thing you drank: Orange Juice.
Time you showered: This afternoon.
Time you told someone you loved them: When I got off the phone with Jim about 3 hours ago..
Time someone said they loved you: Yesterday.
Time you laughed: Last night.
Time you vomited: This morning.
Paycheck: Thursday.
Time you had sex: Yesterday.
TV show you watched: Law and Order SVU.
Song you listened to: I don’t remember.
Movie you watched: The Truman Show.
Dream you had: Me running into a tree and dying.
Time you got drunk: Long time ago.
Party you went to: Long time ago.
Item of clothing you bought: Not sure.
Person you would sleep with: Jim.

[Have You Ever Been Called]
Bitch: Yes, all the time.
Bastard: Not that I know of.
Beautiful: Yes, by Jim
Talented: No.
A waste of space: Yes
Liar: All the time..
Geek: No.
Nerd: No.
Loser: Yes.
Peculiar: No.
Intelligent: Yes.
Skinny: Yeah.
Fat: Yeah.
Pretty: Yes.
Preppy: No.
Goth: No.
Emo: No.
Grunger: No.
Fiend: No?
Innovative: No.
Weirdo: No.
Stupid: Yep.
Retarded: Yes.
Annoying: Yes..
Freak: Yes..
Brat: Yes a long time ago.
Cute: Yes.
Interesting: Yep.
Boring: Yes.
Slut: Uh huh.
Whore: Yes.
Skank: Yes.
Asshole: Yeah.
Shitface: Don't think so.
Ugly: Yeah.
Disgusting: Yep.
Shithead: Don't think so.
Cock: No.
Tit: No.
Twat: No.

[Totally Random]
Tell us the first thing you'd do with a million dollars: Build a house for me, Jim and Gabby to live in right next to my Aunt and Uncle.
Why is the sky blue: I forget.. there is some logical reason.
Do you consider yourself to be romantic: Yes.
What's the best thing somebody has ever said about you: That I was the most beautiful thing in the world..
What do you think of P.E.T.A: I don't know what that is.
What do you think of South Park: Used to be funny, now it’s just old.
Do you like candles: Love them.
Do you think emo people are idiots: No.
Do you think goths are idiots: No.
Do you think people who take ridiculously long surveys are idiots: Haha.
Do you believe men and women are truly equal: Yeah.
Do you read books very much: Yes.
Do people consider you to be a bookworm: No.
Describe your mother: No thanks.
What's one thing you would change about your body: I wish I was skinny.
Would you kill one child to save the lives of 1000 children: Never..
What one thing would a person have to do to deserve death: Rape someone.
The most romantic thing somebody's ever done for you: Jim would send me flowers for no reason..
Do you use bittorrent: What's that?
What P2P programs do you use: I just play Jims.
Have you ever skydived: Nope.
List three things you want to do before you die: Be happy [with Jim], Make sure Gabby has a good life, and that’s it.. there is no 3rd thing.
The world ends and you can only save three people and yourself. Who would you save: Gabby. Jim, and I don’t know..
If you could kick anyone's ass, who would it be: TO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE.
If you could sleep with anyone in the world, who would it be: Just Jim.
Are you bored of this survey yet: Very much.
What is the meaning of life: there is none.

crush me


swimfan14

:: 2005 28 October :: 5.23pm

So today I get one of those calls that I've had before. The ones that you can already tell something is wrong before you even know what's wrong. Yeah, those kind. You proably know what I'm talking about. I had one of those calls when my uncle died during the summer and when my friend Dakota died too and then today I had another one. So I guess my Great Grandma died today which really upsets me because in the past four months she is the third person to die that I've been really close with. Nobody was planning on my uncle dying since he died not even two weeks after I just left him in TN and nobody was expecting this either. I'm really upset about this whole thing and I try not to think about it but people that I love just can't keep dying on me. I can't deal with this for much longer. We aren't sure if we are going to TN for her funeral or not. My dad is taking this really hard and he said he doesn't know if he could handle it, and I don't know if I could either. My dad told me today that he is thinking about going to the funeral but he's not sure so if we end up going we'll most likely fly out on Monday. That's really all I've got.

4 heartless people | crush me


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 28 October :: 1.56pm
:: Mood: depressed

I'm just more and more depressed everyday over Jim.

I went over his house for a while, when I got there it was around 2:20 [I stayed home from school yesterday and today] he was sleeping in his bed, so I just crawled in next to him.. I fell asleep for about an hour then woke him up and we talked. We got into an arguement, but as I got up to leave he pulled me back down, so I stayed. Then Jeff said someone was at the door for him, and Jim asked who it was.. Jeff hesitated and said it was Christian, so Jim went down, then came back up with Christain and Jess. I guess this little girl Krysta ran away from home and her parents called the cops, and they think they're going to search Jims and Brandons house because they hang out with her. So there was a big drama, Jess left so Jim, Christain and I went downstairs. Jess came back, we all sat in the kitchen for like an hour or so.. Jess left again, Jim and I got into a fight because he told me he hated me being there. I cried half the way home, then I called him and started screaming at him, and he told me to come back. So I turned around at Manns Lounge and went back. Christain was still there when I got back, but I was still crying so I just went up in Jims room to lay down. Then they both came up, Jim asked him to go in the other room, we talked for a few minutes.. blah blah blah. Anyways, I left after that. Came home, went to sleep.

I didn't go to school today either. I'm sick, I went to the doctors I just have a viral infection. I don't have to go to work tonight or tomorrow morning.

Jim and I are supposed to go out tomorrow night.. I can't wait. :)

2 heartless people | crush me


swimfan14

:: 2005 27 October :: 10.34pm

Aww tonight was fun. I got to meet Lisa's boyfriend. He's pretty hilarious and he wanted to go into my barn and let me add that it was dark out and we were all scared, okay so Lisa and I were, he wasn't. So we went out there and then he wanted to go into the basement part of the barn and I started freaking out. I've been down there like twice my whole life and it's been during the day with my family not just two other people. I was scared lol!!

Then last night I had fun even though the play did suck and Brittani Matthews and I shouldn't ever sit by each other at a restuarnt or at a play because we are too damn loud and then the fog stuff about killed us and then we couldn't stop laughing at how they kept breaking character. It was pretty fun though and then on the way there the truck in front of us kept putting his brakes on and we didn't know that his left brake light was out so we thought he was putting on his right blinker every five seconds and Britt and Dani were swearing. It was hilarious and then Brittani was screaming at Justin L. to stop the car because she had to pee and he wouldn't because we were literally like 2 miles away from the community center and so she opened her door and was like "IM GONNA JUMP" and then we got there and H was like "why was the door open the whole way there" lol it was funny and I still can't learn this little Blood thing that Mishy tired teaching me. Oh well but I will post pictures from it sometime this weekend I gotta go.

LOVE ALWAYS, ASHLEY

4 heartless people | crush me


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 27 October :: 10.19am
:: Mood: crappy

Jim called me at 2 in the morning, saying that he was sorry. This time I said that it wasn't okay. He was like well, I just stopped smoking that's why I'm grouchy. I still didn't say it was okay. But we talked for a few minutes then I had to go because Gabby woke up screaming. Shes sick. Okay, well I guess I'm going over Jims later today.. I'll update later. <3

2 heartless people | crush me


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 26 October :: 9.52pm
:: Mood: confused

It started out as a great day.. Jim called me at 5:30 or so in the morning, and we talked for like an hour. Then I got ready for school, school was okay. I went to work right after school. I tried and tried to call Jim to make sure I could still come over his house. Jeff answered each time, and each time he wasn't there. (I got off work early) I even rented a movie at Giant Eagle for us to watch.. I ended up going with Kelly and Krysta to Krystas house until I got ahold of Jim. Alaina and Bill came, we were all hanging out and Jim calls. He tells me that he just started watching a movie over Brandons, to come over "later" so I told him that I couldn't because I had to be home at 10:30-11:00. We kinda argued, it was mostly him yelling at me and me trying to defend myself. I started crying and he hung up on me. I fucking cried in front of everyone for like 5 minutes. He always does this to me. Why do I even try anymore? It's like he does it on purpose to see how long I'll take it. I just don't understand, how can he make me cry so much all the time.. I think he likes to do it, maybe it makes him feel good. Why else would he blow me off all the time.

..why do I care so much.

1 heartless people | crush me


TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 25 October :: 11.49pm
:: Mood: sleepy

ummmMm
Riding on this satellite
Sun faded and sweaty, but that's alright
Cause I'm still alive
Always stranded in this memory
Your mouth is wide open
You can't scream
Oh you can't scream

And don't take my picture down
And don't erase everything that we had
Don't think I let you down
And I might be gone, we'll meet again
Can't find you, so I'll call your name

crush me


swimfan14

:: 2005 25 October :: 12.02pm

Ohhh..if I only could say what I really wanted to say....

That would be the day.

6 heartless people | crush me


xxinterrupted

:: 2005 25 October :: 9.33am
:: Mood: busy

So today I woke up at 7:13. (I usually leave at 7:10!) SO I got up real fast, put clothes on, makeup, and brushed my teeth. I ran out the door and I noticed that it was STILL SNOWING!! So I was going up the hill and it was freezing. BLAH.

I feel and look like crap, it's hat day today, so I'm wearing Jim's hat.

Yesterday after school [the note being passed around about me, Jim and Jess.. lots of drama with that.] I went to Jims. We had the best time. We just talked, layed in his bed and talked, I looked up in his attic.. it's really scary up there. There is a table up there with a half empty Dr. Pepper can.. but no one ever goes up there. SO I got home around 6:00, then just chilled out went online for a bit, spent some time with Gab.

I have to leave early [2:00] to take Gab to her Dr. Apt in Washington. I think Jim is going to go with me. I'm scared to drive on bad roads!

2 heartless people | crush me


TheEdgeOfYourAtmosphere

:: 2005 24 October :: 10.46pm

doo woop
nohing to new and exciting here, just got home from chillaxin with mark and his friend mike.. i had a nice time.. i just feel bad cause my mark got unexpected news bout a friend of his that died..:( i feel so bad.

and gosh do i wish it was friday.. im sick of going to school already lol.

crush me


swimfan14

:: 2005 24 October :: 6.23pm

So I just deleted that whole entry about me being upset because I realized it wasn't something I wanted everyone reading.

For about a year now I've kept everything inside of me and I've never told anyone anything too personal just because I've been waiting for the right person to understand how I feel and today I finally found someone who understands me and it's like we can finish each other's sentances. I'm just tired of keeping things bottled up inside of me. I've done that for a year now and today is when it's going to stop. So it looks like my secrets are out.


If I hurt you I'm sorry. Don't think this was easy.
I love you.

I don't anyone to be sad or mad because I've never told them these things it's just I will when I'm ready to tell everyone else

Thank you so much Mishy.

2 heartless people | crush me

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