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2005 7 February :: 5.39 pm
:: Mood: lonely
Fuck it! I'll be in the cemetery at dawn.
Fuck everything!
I QUIT!!!!
I don't know what's wrong with me....I just want to die......
[edit]
But for what it's worth, I've still been thinking....
Run away... |
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2005 7 February :: 1.04 pm
:: Music: Since You've Been Gone
If by chance (I'm not expecting) anyone wants me within the next twelve hours, call me. (330-637-1546) If not, consider me gone by one a.m. I'm starting anew, for how ever long I may live. Whether I be in the lake, at the cemetery, walking along a deserted road alone, or still sitting in my room thinking about how I could have ran away, left it all behind, but stayed, I will not have changed who I am, but how I do things. If I want it, I'll get it. If I hate it, I'll leave it. If I die while I'm out alone with whatever I felt like taking, so be it. I have a new inspiration to leave. Give a good reason and I'll torture myself here longer for your sake. I have a feeling I won't get any reasons to stay, because...well, I'm nothing worth anyone's time.
So, yeah, later....or not.
"Listen to the wind through the bare winter's trees, you'll hear my voice. Look to the midnight sky, I'll be looking for you. Run to the shadows for comfort...I'll hold you in the darkness' embrace."
Run away... |
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2005 6 February :: 6.11 pm
:: Music: Time Only Knows....depressing
What words escaped my mouth that ever had meaning?
You tell me.
I've apparently dropped off the face of the planet. I've no reason to stick around anymore.
Farewell...
Run away... |
::
2005 5 February :: 8.55 am
Thrill me...say something...
Bye!
Run away... |
::
2005 4 February :: 3.19 pm
I failed American History....my mother is going to kill me. But that should tell you something about my feelings on America
I
do
not
care!
I'm still considering moving to London.
OOOOOH! I'm going into a biotechnology college preparation course next year! Maybe, either that or AFJROTC or Animal management, they have turantulas and snakes! That's my station, back off! Eh, I'm in an odd mood despite the fact my mother will kill me.
I need to work on my latest story, I'm trying to make it as...unhappy as possible. I am so sick of seeing happily ever after's and all that happy go lucky "I found the true meaning of life" bullshit. To Hell with anything that has to do with happiness and bright sunny days in the medows daydreaming about romance. Ick! More like sitting in the cemetery, a knife in hand thinking about your best friend just dieing and how you're going to kill several people. There you go.
Nothing better than falling asleep every night wishing not to wake up, and you still do. Damnit! If the majority of humanity disappeared, the earth never rotated from night on this side, and there was an eternal raging storm going on, I'd be content. But as long as the sun still rises, the earth is over populated with parasitical whores, and it's a "happy, warm, sunny day" I say fuck it!
Later....
[UPDATE]
I was so tempted to ask my ex- Andy to come pick me up. Then I remembered that if I were to get in a car with him, I'd probably end up with my throat slashed, blood in the lake water around me and a black rose in my hair. That's how he wanted to kill me. So romantic, eh? Hahaha. Ronnie could have picked me up...but he's dead! Eric is working. Jenna lives in Missouri so unless I want to wait forever for her to find me then that's out. Terri hates me. Caylie's off somewhere with Dale. I could track down that...John guy and see if he has anything to do. So unless I find a way out of here, I'm up for another night of typing to myself.
Unless anyone of you would rather strike up a conversation. Heh, if anyone wants me, all of my messengers are on my profile.
Run away... |
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