blllllllllllleh.

ugh. i already washed my face and now i have to do it all over again cuz of the stupid freaking tears. i'm such a baby. UGHGGGGUGHGIGSHGIGHASDLFK

who the heck am i supposed to hang out with? she's always saying "dont hang out with that person, they're trouble , they're bad, dont go near that person, they'll just hurt you, i dont want you to get hurt again, no one can be trusted, i dont want to see you by that person, you shouldnt be hanging out with that person, why do you have to talk to that person," GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK! WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO HANG OUT WITH IF EVERY SINGLE FREAKING PERSON IS SO TERRIBLE!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?

i wish i was you, not i

wooooooooooh. (thats like a sigh kind of wooh. not a WOOHOO! kind of wooh) pretty good day. it was pretty fun i guess. and i wasn't falling asleep in all my classes and they werent all that boring. hmph. yeah. lunch was fun heehee. *shhhhh* never happened :)

bah. still kind of confused. i guess i just have to let things work out themselves. and dont get too into it. yeah. thats it.

ugh. every day when i get home from school i gorge on food. mostly junk food too. bleh! i need to stop. stop stop!!!!!!! ooh ooh.

Goal #6: stop eating so much

ehh, i have to switch comPUterS.

caught off guard. all worked up.
ok. I was all happy going to school today. I thought I knew what was going on. Like, something that was going to happen. And I was all happy again. For once. And I was on time. And everything. But no. pshhhhh. urg.
But you know. I dont have to listen to anyone else. I AM my own person. I.....can make decisions. ehhh. I know its not going to turn into anything, because, it just simply can't. soooo. Really if i do get myself involved, it wont matter. Because it cant go much farther than...well, a little.
Okay, probably none of you are following what i'm saying in the least bit. I'm sorry, but..really its not for you to follow anyway. It's my way of venting and getting things out without revealing what I'm really talking about. ??? i think. ??? so anyway. I guess I have to decide some stuff. but. I think eh.....everyone..ehh. everyone except one person. hm, so its like 2 or 3 against a big mob. whatever.
*growl* I wont really be getting involved anyway. So bah. What does it matter.

just us men.
YOU!!!

phaaa. i don't know what to think..
:( boo. you ruined my happy streak.
hogwash!

oh,
hog·wash (hôgwôsh, -wsh, hg-)n.
1.Worthless, false, or ridiculous speech or writing; nonsense.
2.Garbage fed to hogs; swill.

i wanna go home!!!!
hi. *sigh* i want to go home. but really, i just dont want to sit through next hour. i was this close *makes size with fingers* to falling asleep in 4th hour today. but i'm glad i didnt, because that would be quite embarrassing. but, while everyone else was reading the 8 or so pages, i was ...half sleeping. stupid of me, i know. i'm just going to be lost later on. hmph. yeah, but i think i'm going to stay after school today. see simon. hehe. go to play practice? i dont even know if we need to go or not.

bah bah bah.

...and now, i dont know what to think or feel.
once again affected by everyone else.
let others lead my life for me.
don't make my own decisions.
I can't be happy about what I thought I would have.
you dont need to....

bleh.

irrelevant?

ir·rel·e·vant (-rl-vnt)adj.
Unrelated to the matter being considered.

i'm a loser baby, so why dont you kill me.

i'm tired. i cant sleep. i want to go to sleep. i want it to be tomorrow. i was almost asleep. but then this idea hit me, it wasnt even important. but it kind of made my brain start thinking, which woke me up. does that make sense? oh whatever.

and...*drum roll* GOAL #5: Get a Guy.

la la la la la la la la. IWMOSICDBHINMWL

and now. i will attempt to fall asleep. watch me go.

what, i dont know what you're talking about.

yay. i got my pictures back. dani i am so sorry, the one of you and pascal...um yeah. it didnt turn out good, i'll show it to you. i'm sorry :(

argh. this is the most beautiful song. i want to cry right now :( its not the same thing that i was listening to a second ago. but it has a big long name and i dont feel like trying to spell it right. so i'm just going to leave you wondering.

oye......hey! stef's here?!!?!!?? huh. hang on. okay. bah, mom already showed her my pictures. thats dumb. anyway.

i dont want to go to school tomorrow :( that sucks.

shit. dont. i am so close, so close and then something takes me back. thanks a lot. ugh. so freaking close.

yay! :)


oh boy. i had a greeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaatttttttt time! :) i'm so glad i went! i thought i would just have an alright time but i had fun!!! I GOT TO DANCE WITH SIMON!!! YAY!! He smells really good too :) and Dani and Beans got to dance with Pascal. ahh. and i liked my hair and my dress unlike last year and i was so happy :) ehhh! i wasnt bummed at all, like i thought i would be. well, actually me and dani were bummed for a while, but we got over that.

so, i went to Dani's to get my hair done and some of my make-up too, and my mom came, so she could take pictures and hang out and whatnot. and Dani's mom did my hair and then beans got here and then we all got ready and used my sparkle stuff and were all sparkly it was so fun. then we went to Jenna's house and took some pictures, and Jessie Gillette, Alice, and Jenna of course were all there. And then we went to applebee's. and that was a riot too. so then when we finally got out of there we went to the high school. and we got there about 8:10. then after the dance Dani, Beans, and Mike came home with me and when we got home Gunnie was already there and so we all hung out and then Danielle came over. and they stayed until like quarter after one or something and we took Mike and Danielle home and Dani's mom picked up Dani and Beans. then Gunnie ended up staying at my house till 3:30. hahaahaa. we had fun. we were all really out of it.

YEAH!. so . thats all. i suppose. ahh! i cant wait to get pictures. everyone looked so awesome. ahh it was so much fun. bye bye!

hee hee hee
GUNNIE! wooh. go you! last night was a blast. it was soooooo fun!!!!! the band didnt suck too bad and it didnt rain at half time.

afterwards, me and dani and gunnie and dani's mom went to big boy and ate food and laughed a lot. heheehee. it was fun. i think that was the hardest i laughed in a long time. ahh. yes. well i suppose i should be going. i'm going to dani's to do my hair and make up and such. hopefully tonight will be fun :)

mmmmm mm mmm


yummmm i'm eating chocolate. game tonight. gunnie better win homecoming king. i hope it doesnt rain :(

i like germans. *shhh*

*yawn*


ahh..sooooooooo refreshed. I just slept from around 4:30. sooo nice. yes, i know. lazy, very lazy. call me what you will. it was nice and i enjoyed it.

*sigh*

hm. maybe i will go. i have to decide tomorrow.

complain complain complain. (sorry)

i'm in the computer lab again. current events.

a lot of things are kind of falling apart. its hard to explain but ...things suck.

um, i still havent decided if i'm going to homecoming or not. yes, two days, and i still havent decided. last night and this morning i was pretty sure i was...i tried on my dress again and i was like..ehh i want to wear it. but then today at school i'm like, eh, i dont really want to go. it'll suck. no, i do want to go, i'll have fun and i'll miss out if i dont, and then back to no, i wont have any fun. bah! i dont know.

i have play practice tonight and i dont want to go. wait...haha. ok i kind of do. i just thought of something. heh heh heh. yeah.

i need some music. this is boring. jess is taking a blink 182 quiz..oooh.

anyhoo. um, band last night was...kind of boring. it was okay i suppose. time out of the house was very nice. it was kind of strange. when me and my mom got home we got in this fight and were yelling and then i just plopped down on my bed and started crying and telling her about everything i'm stressing about and then a few minutes later, we werent fighting and then i tried on my dress and everything and yeah. i dont know, it was kind of weird. bleh, that girl is looking at pictures of marylin manson. yum. not. lol. anyway, i better go. bye bye.