eh
grr work was really tiring and wet and dumb. we were all totally soaked and dirty. and those stupid shovels...grr.
i hate corn and i i'll never eat it again. never again.
i want to go to bed.....*yawn* its really gross outside..i'm just babbling on cuz i have nothing else to do. heh, i have pit tonight thats gonna be enjoyable...not. ah, this girl keeps signing on and off a million times grr.... anyway...i should go so byebye ps. tomorrow is gonna be so much better than today.grr

logans an idiot
Logan is being such an ass, writing all that stuff about Kev. It's so pathetic cuz he's never even met him. Ah well I've get better things to do than worry about Logan.
Well I worked my first day today it was okay except your arms get all red from the corn and it stings really bad until you take a shower. but I get paid $6.50 an hour so woohoo! And Adrianne works there too so I have someone to talk to :)
So anyhoo. I can't wait for Wednesday cuz Kevin Jess and Roman are gonna come over and watch movies and swim and whatnot so yay!
Maybe I already said this lately, but I am so happy right now. I mean, in my life, I'm just so content and happy with the people in my life, with my friends and others. I think I might be losing some friendships next year or this summer, but I dont mind as much cuz I have like 10 friends and people besides my family that I really care a lot about and then those others that I haven't even talked to or anything so i"m sort of figuring out who really matters to me and who doesn't. I mean don't get me wrong, I still want to be friends with some of the people I haven't talked to, but I'm figuring out who REALLY matters to me. I barely ever think of some of the people who I used to consider my really good friends and then some of my other friends I'm hanging out with all the time. Yeah, so anyway I'm really content and happy and I don't think I've ever loved life so much. Heh, happy entry =) xoxoxo buhbye- Jess

hmm
well the boat was pretty fun i guess. next week kevins gonna come so yay =)
hmm....oh i got hired for the pine border farm job, i dont even really know what i'll be doing but oh well..its money=) but it starts at 8 which is too early for me, god last night i thought i was gonna sleep good but i couldnt fall asleep until about 1-ish then i had to get up at 8 for church. i'm never going to catch up on sleep ever. ah well.
grr, is it really 9:30 or is my clock wrong? g2g byebye xoxoxo Jess

my mom
my mom is such a ...............ya know. she talks to my ex boyfriend about my new boyfriend and she is such a jerk, ugh i cant even find the words i just need to vent, but i cant find the right words so ...yeah here's some words FUCK LOGAN. can't i just be happy, cuz i am so incredibly happy but i think the worlds against me

Well yesterday I went to Jessie's and we went to Ludington and the beach and stuff we had a good time. Then we went home and I finally got to talk to Kevin then Jess told Kevin to call us at like 12:45am and Kevin was at Tom's house and they had to be all quiet cuz of Tom's parents. And I was worried about Jess's parents too, but they never came outside, but I think they knew anyway....they just didn't say anything about it this morning. Yeah so me and Kevin talked till 3 but we were both really tired and out of it. obviously..it was 3 am. yeah but im the happiest ive been for so long except with my mom. im not happy with my mom. but hey not a lot i can do about that. grr yeah.. this was stuck in my head forever.
----------------------------------------It's hard to wake up
when the shades have been pulled shut
this house is haunted
it's so pathetic
it makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say
the words rot and fall away
if a stupid poem could fix this home
I'd read it every day

So here's your holiday
hope you enjoy it this time
you gave it all away
it was mine
so when you're dead and gone
will you remember this night
twenty years now lost
it's not right

Their anger hurts my ears
been running strong for seven years
rather than fix the problems
they never solve them
it makes no sense at all
I see them everyday
we get along, so why can't they?
if this is what he wants
and this is what she wants
then why is there so much pain?

So here's your holiday
hope you enjoy it this time
you gave it all away
it was mine
so when you're dead and gone
will you remember this night
twenty years now lost
it's not right

So here's your holiday
hope you enjoy it this time
you gave it all away
it was mine
so when you're dead and gone
will you remember this night
twenty years now lost
it's not right
it's not right
it's not right
it's not right

=)
*sigh* i had the time of my life at kevin's party. it was great. =) yeah, and they played really good and we had our little groupie t-shirts so it was fun.
i had jess over afterwords and we only slept like 2 hours we went to bed at about 2:30 and than we both woke up at 4:30 it was really weird and then we just talked the whole time until like 8:00. =) Jess had a really good time too *wink wink*
but i had a better one.
c yall lata xoxoxo =)

=)
Happy 4th of July everyone!!!!

=( =( =( so sad!
ah, i havent heard this song for so long except at dani's and now i'm obsessed again i love this song! and i love ben folds five. i love the piano in this but yeah enough babbling...
-------------------------------------------6 am day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb

Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out
And we drive

Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

they call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly

As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying

Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it

blah
hahaha finally! my mom said i can go! geez, i dont know why it was that big of a DEAL in the first place! well yeah, so me and jessie will probably do something before or afterwords...hmm dunno.
lalala...hmm i'm really bored. no ones talking to me anymore. mmk...
okay tootaloo

geez will she just give an answer already
okay i'm in a really good mood except my mom wont tell me if i can go to kevin's or not! grr i am so mad, i want to go so bAD!!
well i had an absolute blast at dani's!!! kevin came over and we went to the lake then we got in trouble for going for a walk lol. and i hit on the fat guy with boobs. no not really. lol.
dani, someone is on the swing and the slide outside the tent!! ahh! run.. no wait, come inside boy on the slide! run from the drunk ducks in your backyard. sleazy geezers are so much fun. okay thats enough of that. well i have to go so cya yall lata! xoxoxo...

lala
seven things you can't do:

1. I can't: stay in a relationship
2. I cannot wait till: i can stay in a relationship, a good one
3. I can't stand my dad's: grouchiness he doesnt want to have any fun
4. I can't stand my mom's: i love my mom, but she can get grouchy
5. I can't eat without: my mouth
6. I can't stand that: people think they know what i am
7. I can't wait much longer: until i see kj;slkfjakmfR

top seven songs people should listen to
1. Lisa Lopes -the block party
2. eminem-hallies song =)
3. Dashboard Confessional - saints and sailors
4. i dunno i cant think
5.
6.
7.


top seven things you say the most:
1. yeah
2. hmm
3. sorry
4. right
5. okay
6. why
7.supercalifragilisticexpealidocous.

i find: that i do not hate anyone
i want: someone who understands me
i have: a broken toe
i wish: I had a good boyfriend
i hate: nothing
i miss: robbie
i fear: the worst
i feel: lazy
i hear: music
i crave: chocolate:)
i search: for rudy
i wonder: if rudy's here
i regret: a lot of stuff
i love: my kitty
i ache: ?
i long: for love=)
i care: about my friends
i am always: wishing i was more
i am not: tall
i foolishly believe: ?

five favorite trips you have taken:
1. north carolina with jess
2. florida
3. thats it.
4.
5.
stuck in your head frequently:
1. music
2. dreams
3. >?
4.blood

four things you'd like to learn:
1. to speak japanese
2. to dive
3. play piano and xylophone/marimba really well
4. how to grow taller.

four beverages you drink regularly:
1.diet coke
2.milk
3. diet dr pepper
4. water
four tv shows that were on when you were a kid:
1. seseme street?
2. ?
3.?
4.?
four places to go in your area:
1.My house
2.my pool
3. my room
4. my yard

four things to do when you're bored:
1.this
2.play piano
3.phone
4. talk to myself.

four things that never fail to cheer you up:
1. jess
2. sleep
3. music
4. shopping

about 20 years ago...
1. it was 1982...
2. >?
3/?
4?
about ten years ago...
1. I was 4
2. we had a dog named ollie =(
3. no one could understand me when i talked..
4. I was in pre school and best friends with jessie

about 5 years ago...
1. i was 9
2. i was annoying, wait i still am
3. i was in 4th grade
4. ?

about 2 years ago...
1. I was 12
2. i went to north carolina
3. i was obsessed with tyler
4. I went out with dakota.

about one year ago:
1. i loved robbie
2. i went to camp with robbie
3. stef drove me everywhere like shopping
4. i got a pool

Today...
1. I'm wanting to go in the pool
2. so glad me and jess arent fighing
3. i'm trying to write a song
4. i'm filling this out.

wow its done.

soooo freaking happy!
i am soo happy no more fighting. im my happy self once again. altho i am confused not about my friends but about other things heheheehe. oh my.

okay i know this sounds weird but this song, by eminem is so sweet! i love it! i just downloaded cuz i was curious about what it sounded like..hehe =)
okay so anyway i guess i'll go cuz i'm talking to a millilon people..
AHH THERES A RUDY IN MY BACKYARD! =)

*sigh*
and so..when exacly will it be back to normal? i dunno hopefully soon i'm sorry for saying the things i did but i meant them, i felt them and i figured i should tell the truth, things i have felt a few times before and i started to feel again and i dont want it to come back again. cuz it sucks and i dont feel like being alone without a friend.