I can't remember

the last thing you said as you were leaving.



And stop smiling too. Stop laughing. Ha ha.

stop reliving and re-reading and

I've noticed that the world is like one big ball of depression. its sad.

hold on to these moments as they pass


I guess I should...and

na na na na na yeah. na na na...

all those things you said to me

ugggggggggggggh

I'm such an effing bitch.

All who agree say "I".

Thank You.

&BLEH&YANXCY&JED&

bleh. edwina.


stop stop. look, it's like one o'clock. and my sister is reading baby names to me.

winslow. tobias. prescott. vincent. issabella. christian. darias. camella. quinton.

hmm. I pick Darias.

goodnight. or something. oh bowling tonight was pretty fun.

bom bom bom.....

Hmm... so I'm eating dinner with my brother and sister and my dad...my mom's at some meeting thing and then my dad's like "Jess, I want to have a meeting (or talk, I dont rememeber which he said) with you after dinner." I kind of laugh and say "...Okay...what about?" And he says "Life" I'm like... "...alright.."

Then later we're still eating and I say "Dad what do you want to talk to me about?" He says "Life" and I say "Well can you just talk to me now?" and he says "No, I want a private conversation." And I say "I don't want a private conversation" Just kind of laughing and then after dinner I'm like "Are we going to talk now?" and he's like "No, Im not ready yet. What time is it? We'll talk at 7:30." So I'm like "...Okay..." So I guess we're going to "talk" at 7:30. Wooh Wooh. Can't wait. Not. It's probably about how I pissed off my mom. Which is dumb anyway. And I know I'm just going to either start laughing or get really pissed off because I never seriously "talk" with my dad.

This is dumb. Bleh.

soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name ....i swear.

so...... um yeah the concert was a big load of fun. It was in a club called
The Rave. I was only like 3 feet away from the stage and i was also able to see because the guy in front of me was about the same hight as me. so yay!

it was so much fun!! and we were so close so it was awesome. everybody was singing along to like every song and it was great. and i could see him playing and stuff. the only song he didnt play and i wish he did was fred jones part 2 . but that's alright. on steven's last night, the song .. near the end they brought out this drum and he was playing it while the guy was holding it and then he brought it over to the other side of the stage and then two other guys brought out a whole drum set piece by piece and he started playing and it was awesome. eeee it was so fun. ahhh okay. yeah and we drove through chicago so i got to see downtown chicago and the sears tower and stuff and that was cool, but then i slept through it on the way back. We stayed at a hotel last night and then got up and drove back this morning and got home at like noon. Oh, and my dad took me to dinner before the concert and we wanted to go to someplace different, not just a regular restuaraunt since we were in downtown milwaukee and there was some cool places so he took me to this place he said he went to last week (he travels a lot so he was there last week) and we parked in a parking garage and we were walking and we went down this street and my dad opened the door that was in kind of like the back of a building and it was this little room and this guy was sitting there wearing a black turtleneck and black pants and sunglasses, like a blind guy and i was like 'hmm this is odd' an then he's like "Welcome to The Safehouse, this is a place for spies to go into hiding" or soemthing like that and then he's like "Do either of you know the password?" and my dad said he didnt remember and I said I didnt and then he said he would ask a question and we had to guess but he would not repeat it and then my dad guessed right so he let us in. And then we went in and it was like a hallway and then you had to step onto this area and then a wall moved. Well anyway, I'm really rambling , but it was really cool. But it ended up that you needed reservations on the weekends so we couldnt stay but we got to look around and we ended up eating a McDonald's. Yeah

But ANYWAY. It was a lot of fun and I would very much like to do it again. :) see you later.

oh wait! and today I went to go see nick, because it's his birthday. And this is the first time I got to see him and it was so sad :(. I wanted to cry. but i didnt. he was in a wheelchair w/ a head rest thing and ...i dont know it was just really sad. and it didnt look like the good old nick i used to know. :( bleh. i dont want to think about it anymore but it was just really sad . :( but yeah, sorry for the rambling bye bye bye bye bye bye...

Ben Folds...Here I come!!!


hmmmmm. Well, the play has been fun. It went really well Thursday night and last night. We went to Steak and Shake last night that was fun too. Tonight is the last night of the play but I won't be there because..... I'm going to Wisconsin to see Ben Folds!!!!!!! Yay! I can't wait. We're going to leave around noon or something. And then we're spending the night at a hotel so.....it should be fun I hope. Yay! See all of you.....later!

Oh and Gunnie: thank you for the flower I love you, you are so sweet!!! :)

And...We're off!!!!!!!


*moan*

*groan*

*cry*


I want him.


*cough*

People are so mean. :(

i am


Things just are not the same.

=(

varroooooooom.


Grrrrrrrrr.

I'm SO annoyed with people! And I don't know. CRAP!

Please. Please. Please.....

URGGGGGG! NO!

"Isn't he still going out with that girl?"

What the heck is that supposed to mean?!!?!!!?!!???/!/! hmmmm?!!?!? ughhh.

mmm, I like this song.

Yeah, You're Welcome. No problem! Gosh.

urg urg urg!!!! Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. STOP.

I am a big stupid idiot. shoot me.

Nice to know that you care.

Why why why why why why why. ?

mean.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


jeeeez.

can you BELIEVE that?!

thats okay, my will is good.

Hey, guess what.

My mom kind of apologized.

Hooray.

But that still doesn't solve all my problems.

Again, I'm sorry.

Hey look. Robbie's online. (Robbie M) I wish I could talk to him. I wish we still talked. ... :'(

.......

scream out you're alive.

Hmm. Nevermind. Umm...

My penpal from Japan called me today. This is only the second time I've actually talked to her. You know, besides e-mail. We talked for about an hour or so. It was 11:30 am. here and 2:00 AM there when we got off the phone! She said she couldn't sleep so she just decided she'd call me. She's 19 years old. We talked about a lot of stuff. She broke up with her boyfriend. We talked about that a little. And she talked about her mom a little. ...She died a few months ago. I feel really bad for her but she says that she's fine. Well, She's going to come to my house sometime soon. She looks for tickets but they can't be super expensive. She might come next year, or hopefully sometime sooner. And she'd stay for about a week . She wants to meet everybody, and see my school. I think it would be really fun. Yeah. So yay.

I guess that's all I have to say.

I went grocery shopping. It's really cold outside. I wish it was summer. I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

i'm sorry...