fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

i hate myself.

i hate the world


and i hate just about everyone in it.


i wish that there was a switch you could just turn off or a plug you could just pull out to end your life. without the fucking planning of it.

im sorry, i am so fucking sorry . i didnt mean to do anything. i feel like a total bitch already. i am a total bitch. yeah, i'm already sure of it. i swear it will stop. it has stopped. god i'm an asshole.

please dont hate me.

ps. I hate my mother and I wish so damn much that I could drive and just leave I'm so sick of everything.

I'll become what you became to me.

Pheeeeeew. I'm sooooo glad that today is over. Well, almost over. I still have to go to stupid play practice. But I did not have a good day today. Well I did until third hour.

Band- I made wind ensemble!! Yay! Dance! I was really suprised because I really didn't think I would, although I really wanted to. So yay!

Yeah, but then PE came around. And I'm not going to get into it, because I've told the story to like four people already and I'm sick of reliving it. But let's just say we had to weightlift and there's a really huge sweaty kid and...eww Yeah. Let's just not get into it at all. Blach. P.E. just sucked.

And Current Events with Mr. Dumbass Jensen. URRRRGGHGHG I want to kill that man. All he does is sit there and blink. He's like a potato or something...a blinking potato. I hate him!!! Grrr.

Oh. I told Ms.Harrison that I'm "Going to Wisconsin" so I have to miss one of the performances. It was kind of funny. Her eyes bugged out of her head, like it was a MARJOR deal. I'm just a stupid choir member, all we do is sing a song! Big deal! But yeah. So the Ben Folds concert is almost only like... a week away. YAY! I'm kind of worried about my dad and I going together though. Like just us... It's going to be weird. Eh.

wooooooh. bye bye.

Oh PS. Congratulations to Beansy for making it into Wind Ensemble too! :) because we both know how bad she really wanted to and she deserves it yay!!! Thank you Clara Annette. Thank You Estelle. You served us well. (sorry for the occasional beatings and chromatic scales that we put you through)

Oh! And Beans, I forgot to tell you (I told Dani already) Todd told me he is gay!! Ack! Who would've ever guessed?! Shhh. It's a secret.

why are people so dumb!!!!!


ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Comin' up for air.

Disregard that last entry. It's all good now. Yay, I guess. :-/

I need a hand to hold.

I got new shoes.

I don't know what to do, about anything. shooooooooot.

meow.

ahhh. why why why?

*repeatidly hits head against desk*

** clunk . clunk . clunk . **

always clear, always sharp!!!

hey, a tiny bit of homework, got home early, even played piano for quite a while. today was kind of a relaxing day when i got home. only a few things are stressing me out. And I got some stuff done.

So in just 16 days I'm going to Milwaukee to see BEN FOLDS!!!!!!!!!!!! And I just relized that on that same day I'm supposed to be in Wisconsin visiting the best piano player in the world, I'm supposed to be..... IN THE PLAY!!!! OH NO!!!

So.. do i care?? ....NOT REALLY!!!! Except I will have to suffer Mrs. Harrison's wrath, but hey, anything for Ben Folds!! Yay! :) Commitment, Co-shmmit-ment. who cares? yay i'm excited :)

also, I've never been to Wisconsin before. =)

click click click click

i just wrote something...but now i dont know if i want to say that anymore so.... bleh.

i can't stand those kind of people. ]-;

sha. sha. sha .shat.

I HATE BIOLOGY. I HATE IT SO MUCH STUPID BIOLOGY. STUPID STUPID BIOLOGY. STUPID TAKE HOME STUPID TESTS. STUPID MEIOSIS AND MITOSIS AND CHRMOSOMES AND SPINDLES I DONT FREAKING CARE ABOUT. STUPID TEST TOMORROW STUPID STUPID TESTS THAT I'M GOING TO FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stupid class that i never should have taken.

....jds;lkj;Ž

do you hate me?

*sigh*

oh my gosh. woah. i just told one of my friends the biggest secret i've ever had. I think I'm feeling relief but i'm so scared. I didnt want to tell, i'm just shaking. yeah i think i'm feeling relief. man. i dont know. but its good. she understands. she can relate. god. i dont know... i'm just so freaked out. i'm just glad that she finally helped me get it out. hmm. i dont know i'm freaked. well, goodnight. bleeeeeh

hug someone short!!!

Stupid Clara Annette.

Stupid drivers ed.

Stupid Mr. Freaking-Old Jenson.

Stupid people.

Stupid Ben Folds tickets.

Stupid people.

Stupid fat guy that ran into me today for no reason and I didnt even EFFING KNOW HIM!!! Thats just plain mean. I didnt need that in the morning

Stupid attempts to stop swearing so much.

Stupid dumb Cedar scum.

::♠•♦♣♠♣○•♠♦•♦:::

blah. I don't care anymore. Basically:: Life sucks so get used to it. That's what I've decided to tell myself now.

I need to stop caring so much about stuff that doesn't effing MATTER.

::♠•♦♣♠♣○•♠♦•♦::

jess