gillette
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2012 9 October :: 4.14pm
I feel like I'm losing my mind. I can't deal with real life. Why am I so weak? I have a bachelor's degree that I can't do anything with except go to grad school but that seems to overwhelming for me to even think about. Every time it crosses my mind that I need to apply, I quickly think of something else. It's like I'm trying to sabotage myself. Next month I have to start paying back all of my student loans and I have a job making $11/hour. I also am going to be getting less on my paychecks b/c I need to start paying for benefits. I just want to run away and not deal with anything. I had this magical life pictured in my head that I would go to college, go straight through to grad school, become a speech pathologist, have money and not struggle like my parents. It seems like that is too far out of my comfort zone and what I'm familiar with. I'm familiar with pain, no money and struggle. My mom struggles every day and cries to me b/c they can't afford fuel oil or the bills. I literally feel like I want to bash my head into a wall everyday b/c of how my life has turned out. And it's nobody's fault but my own. I hide from everything I should be doing and then sit here and cry b/c of how it is.
I'm literally afraid to check my cmich email b/c my two professors that said they would write letters of rec for me have probably been emailing me wondering if I died or something. Why am I afraid to do GOOD for myself?
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sugarjackj
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2012 4 October :: 6.48am
Cock Nozzle.
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spud
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2012 29 September :: 1.09pm
i'm writing these up for work.
they want us to make a procedures manual for the maintenance department, since they never made one initially, and there's been quite a bit of turnover in the department over the last 5 years. also, todd and i are not going to be sticking around here forever, which is no secret to anyone.
so, i'm looking for feedback. primary concern is readability and conciseness, while being amply descriptive. the idea is that whatever knuckle dragger comes here after us will hopefully at least be able to read, maybe even have some experience in the trades. but they need to be able to perform these tasks, whether they have experience or not. thus, these procedure instructions.
please let me know what you think.
LED wall
Filter change
Paint guide
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spud
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2012 24 September :: 4.57pm
:: Music: the crane wives - the fool in her wedding gown
work
so, i've realized that while i bring a lot of specialized knowledge to the table, which i use on a virtually daily basis, it is extremely unnecessary for the job. good to have. really not needed.
there are ultimately only two critical aspects to holding down a maintenance position (aside from the social politics of whatever company you work for. that's a much bigger, separate can of worms):
1. Fix whatever broken stuff they bring to your attention.
2. If you can't figure out how to fix it, either:
a) have them call in someone else who is more specialized to fix it.
b) make damn sure it leaves your care broken enough to justify buying a new one.
that's pretty much it. simple. the only thing that makes this job difficult is me. which would happen at any job i have.
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spud
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2012 21 September :: 6.33pm
"Wash, tell me I'm pretty."
"Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion."
"Because I'm pretty?"
"Because you're pretty."
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sugarjackj
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2012 15 September :: 9.13pm
I would just rather abide by the code of hammurab.
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m&ms487
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2012 14 September :: 6.49pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Fun: Walking the Dog
I survived getting sick from my students/colleagues until the end of week three. I'll take it.
I'm getting back in the groove. Things seem more like a clusterfuck, but they seem easier.
I'm taking Old English this semester, for no other reason than it's a degree requirement for a linguistics credit. I'd rather take French. With that being said, apparently two hellish years of French have really beefed up my language skills, and it's going quite easily. Perhaps I'll be one of those people who knows like five (useful) languages eventually.
Thesis. Blech. I don't want to talk about it.
Teaching is going well. I get their first drafts of their first paper by Monday at midnight. We're having fun in class, and they're all really good kids. I expect at least a quarter of them will fail the first draft, but the good thing for them about English is that we offer revisions. Lots and lots of revisions.
Other things are going well, but clouding the periphery--union stuff, graduate literary journal, other groups, non-profit work, academic senate/the eboard for that, too, and now I'm enrolled in a teaching academy through the university (only about 15 people university-wide were selected in total).
PhD applications in a few months.
I guess I should go parse some Old English or grade some papers. What else is there to do while being sick on a Friday night?
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spud
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2012 12 September :: 3.03pm
:: Music: the music tapes
looking for new stuff
thank you, soundcloud, for always showing waveforms while i listen.
thanks.
waveforms.
always.
sincerely,
Chris
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spud
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2012 6 September :: 1.19pm
WOOOO!
Dear Christopher Best,
Thank you for purchasing your 4 ticket(s) from etix.com.
This email serves as your receipt.
Your method of delivery is:
Print At Home.
Your confirmation code/Order Number is: xxxxxxxx
Your ticket(s) are from the following venue(s): The Intersection
You have been charged for the following:
Price Conv. Fee Date Performance
_______________________________________________
$6.00 $3.58 September 22, 2012 7:00 PM THE CRANE WIVES-CD RELEASE**17+*
$6.00 $3.58 September 22, 2012 7:00 PM THE CRANE WIVES-CD RELEASE**17+*
$6.00 $3.58 September 22, 2012 7:00 PM THE CRANE WIVES-CD RELEASE**17+*
$6.00 $3.58 September 22, 2012 7:00 PM THE CRANE WIVES-CD RELEASE**17+*
Delivery Fee: $0.00
Order Fee: $0.00
Total Price: $38.32
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m&ms487
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2012 17 August :: 8.48am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Fun: Carry On
School starts again in about a week. I'm able to get in my office on Monday (hopefully). I just had a student email me about the syllabus for class. I don't have it done. Prep week doesn't even start until next week, and I don't even officially get paid for my work until the week after that.
Lots of things going on. I'm the president of the Graduate Student Union this year. I'm on staff of our creative writing publication. I'm teaching, taking classes, writing my thesis, and on the board of a non-profit. I'm also probably doing a innovative teaching academy program, and applying to PhD programs. Of course, all of these things are unpaid, and when it's all said and done, I make less than minimum wage. Oh, the joys of higher education.
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spud
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2012 22 July :: 12.04pm
Set to the tune of happy fucking birthday:
Happy hump day to me,
Happy hump day to me,
At least I'll have Wednesday
And Thursday to sleep.
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tuwang
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2012 26 March :: 1.31pm
strange argument last night.
Over the smallest thing too. Not really relationship-ending by any stretch of the imagination, but strange.
Did pass that dreaded 6 month mark, which may seem like nothing to you, but means a lot to me for many reasons. So here's to that.
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joslyn_julia
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2012 13 February :: 3.24pm
yeah, so i love how I am a "bad person" because i don't go to work when i am sick. I mean honestly, if you don't have a job don't criticize me for taking a day off at mine just because you are pissed that I have a job and hate it, while everyone else you know calls to bitch because they can't get a job. I'm not bitching and whose business is it aside from me and my boss if I don't go to work.
Get real.
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gillette
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2012 20 January :: 6.43pm
So I start therapy on Tuesday. 3 kindergarteners and 1 5th grader. Not sure what I'm going to do, kind of frantic but excited at the same time.
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gillette
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2012 14 January :: 3.46pm
I feel weird at the spot I am at in my life right now. Looking back at old pics from like 2 years ago and earlier..I was surrounded by so many friends and fun people...now I just feel like I'm associated with a couple casino people and Nic. Meh.
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