Toki
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2003 1 December :: 12.35am
YAY PIPPIN!
Pippin
Who's Your Lord of the Rings Match?
brought to you by Quizilla
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mudpiegrl
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2003 30 November :: 9.15pm
>Note: forwarded message attached.
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production,destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than
that.
5 Pirates |
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Toki
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2003 30 November :: 8.33pm
:: Mood: shocked
:: Music: I'll be There
Scary Thoughts
Well, I wanna write about this, but it'll be alot easier just to copy and paste the convo...
SneakySeaMonkey [7:13 PM]: holy shit, u know ive had my journal for 6 months now?? american english was a half year ago! and i've been hanging out with those pple now...for like...7ish months and i still just started talking to them...O.o;; wow...im in shock
toki358 [7:13 PM]: LOL
toki358 [7:13 PM]: wow patrice
SneakySeaMonkey [7:13 PM]: time should slow down
toki358 [7:13 PM]: wait american english was 6 months ago/
toki358 [7:13 PM]: yea it should!
SneakySeaMonkey [7:13 PM]: 5 monthsish
toki358 [7:14 PM]: but sitl....wow
SneakySeaMonkey [7:15 PM]: theres only like 8 more months until certain pple go away...my god...5 more months of school...wow..time is really flying this year
toki358 [7:15 PM]: shhh don't say that!!!!!
toki358 [7:15 PM]: it's still 1st semester....::sigh:: i should and shouldn't stay that way
SneakySeaMonkey [7:16 PM]: Yeah..
SneakySeaMonkey [7:16 PM]: Sandy Kim...i dont wanna grow up...i dont wanna be a senior
toki358 [7:16 PM]: *it should and it shouldn't
toki358 [7:17 PM]: thank u! so i'm not the only person who doesn't want to grow up
toki358 [7:17 PM]: everyone's like can't wait until i get out of highschool...i'm like no!
SneakySeaMonkey [7:18 PM]: i know...i cant imagine high school ending and being away from the pple i know now
toki358 [7:18 PM]: i know!
toki358 [7:18 PM]: it's a scary thought for me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time shuold stop. I'm so not kidding you. There's so much I want to do and not enough time and so much I want to happen and not enough time. I hate time. Tell it to slow down. This is like..wow...for me, its like my moment of realization. I'm gonna be a senior next year. I'm gonna be in college after that. And and and..wow.
I'm growing up. I'm 16 years old. I know, to some pple it's just like...oo 16? Whatever. Ive been alive for 16 years!! And one day seems like an eternity...then why did those 16 years go by so fast?
Even since I got my journal, onyl 6 months ago, it felt like things sucked and were terribly slow...but wow, it feels like just yesterday I was sitting in Jill's house telling her about my journal. Now I read through it and alot yet nothing has happened in these 6 months. I feel like I've wasted these months. I mean, sure, I've done lots of things that I am so glad I did, but I could have done so much.
I don't want to waste anymore time feeling sorry for myself or being sad. I'm only gonna be here for so long and my friends are only gonna be here for so long, if I spend the whole time complaining and saying how pple suck or life sucks, god, my life would have no purpose then. I mean, would someone who was positive or negtive have a better affect on you?
I feel like I'm in that mario game. Where teh background keeps moving but you have to keep up. And you can't slow it down, all you can do is run with it.
GAH!! I Don't wanna leave high school! :-( Grr...too much thinking, to bed I go...night...
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mudpiegrl
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2003 30 November :: 8.43pm
2 Pirates |
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mudpiegrl
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2003 30 November :: 8.26pm
:: Mood: hollow
:: Music: "the warmth"~incubus
but if you really want to live, why not try and make yourself?
i went for a walk you know.
i walked along the sidewalk.
listening to incubus.
watching my shadow.
first i watched its likeness of me.
starting with my shoe.
slowly growing to entirety.
then i observed the quality.
how the lights altered it.
one light made it blurry, but dark.
two made it light, only dark in spots.
then i watched how the whole moved over the blocks.
and then, rather than the impression, i looked at the holes that i had never bothered to memorize before.
i watched how my form fell into the indentations.
that block has a crack.
it will always be there.
until the block is removed.
i then saw the seperations between the blocks.
some were wide, filled with filth.
others were tight, but cracked.
some were mended black with tar.
but none were perfect. no block, no space.
then it occured to me how much people are like this. there are sidewalk blocks, endlessly seen. no one could ever remember ever crack and gouge in the cement, not in every one. but one block can be. maybe two. and our impression. the shadow. how worried we are that it is there, rather than the holes it fills. our impact is stronger when we are ourselves, rather than trying to be someone else. shadows will always pass over the blocks, but will it remember? will the light know that you passed through its rays, protecting the block which forgot its sunglasses? would it care?
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Toki
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2003 30 November :: 6.07pm
:: Mood: exanimate
Hi
It's cold. Maybe I should shut the window. Lol. Okay, Soo...hi. I feel...like...dead. I'm probably just dead tired. Blah..write more later.
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mudpiegrl
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2003 30 November :: 6.09pm
What Nervous Habit are You? Find out!
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mudpiegrl
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2003 30 November :: 5.34pm
:: Mood: numb
:: Music: matchbox 20~yourself or someone like you
cold walk
i dont really want to put this entry in...but i think i will anyway...sometimes you gotta do things you dont want to right?...homework, cleaning, going to movies with friends and thier boyfriends for a first date...::sigh:: sorry katherine...the appeal was thin. i just read andy's journal. wow...people are mean to him. yea. i want to cry. i dont know why. well i do but. yea. last night was the party...sort form or thoughts...turned out better than thought, wish food was better, fucking bothered by dad. i did nearly all the work...just so that he could go and invite fifteen or so people more a few days before! arg. patrice slept over...dont think she wanted to. jennifer left early...i dont know for shur why. dont think it was tiredness...i wished jackie good luck and told her she would do really well...am proud of myself. am proud of her too...it took her a while but she finally realised what she was doing, or if she didnt, then she did a nice job of fixing it. yea. jill is still bugging me. i hate when people just stop tlaking to people. its stupid. if you ignore an infection, it only gets worse. i still dont know what to do about nick. i suppose i am scared. becuase i dont know how much i can trust him. i dont want to trust him. because its like this with me. i trust you with everything until you betray me. which is opposite of a good amount of people. and i dont know. i know that ive done things to people to. thats why im so afraid to write this in here. but i always find reasoning in what i did to other people. i still wonder why jackie is talking to me again. not that i mind. because i cant bring myself to talk to nick again. not relaly anyway. a good hello and good bye is about all i can manage. im not really talking to neil. hes onlyn but i feel that im going to start crying if i talk to him...so i figure its better i dont. writing this...it seems so shallow. i hate it. i dont want to put it. i talked to patrice today because it bothers her that i say child when addressing people. its more of a recent thing...but its like this. i feel wrapped in a warm blanket and held when am sick...thats how it feels to me. i feel protected and i like it. i dont use it as a degrading word. am sorry to all who hate it. i want to go for a walk. or a rollerblade. i havent done it in a while. ill take my new cd player in the bag that i just got back. maybe...strange image of this girl in sixth grade. i was friends wiht her becasue cathy left santa maria and i didnt have anyone else really. so i was friends with meghan and one day in the middle of sixth grade i was talking to her at recess and she just turned around and was like "just leave me alone". and she didnt mean it as a temporary thing. i knew it because of the way she huffed off and avoided me constantly. i feel so empty. no emotions. i want to cry. then its some kind of emotion right? that indicates sadness...but it can stand for anger...and tears of happiness exsist. so then...what does whining do...walking time.
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Toki
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2003 29 November :: 5.57pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Carmina Burana
Friday
So...Friday was interesting. Badish goodish interesting. Know what I mean? So, yesterday I hung out with Justin from like 2ish-6ish...and it was awkwardly weird.
Yeah..:-\...GAH! I HATE GUYS!!! >:-O :-(..
Well yeah, then I called Jackie cuz I was freaking out and she was cleaning her room. Yup. So I was talking to her and started cleaning my room. So yeah, she was all like "we should do something, I'll call you in a little"...
A little turned into an hour...but that's not her fault...Anyways, I got to watch Kim Possible's movie. "Oh wise one, What is the Meaning of life??" "Cheese!!!" It was some good shiznit.
So yeah, then she called and Benton picked me up and we went to Jackie's house.Then we went to Target and hehe, we won!! Cuz we ran away from Benton and Wender and we were like "We should hide by the car so they freak out when they try to find us, we'll be here!" Well, we didn't realize that 15 mins in winter weather was cold. But yeah..we ended up winning anyways cuz things were all twisty and they were "late" coming out of target. Mwehehe...
So yeah, Jackie and I were all laughing like HAHAHA and annoying them. So it was good fun. Then Jackie got her hand caught in the window. Then we went to Jackie's and umm...Jackie and Wender fell asleep and Benton was watching sportscenter and I was dazing off...yep...that was my fun night. Tonight I get to go to Jorie's mom's party thing...wooo. So yeah, i'll probably have stories about that..Ohh! And I had more dreams..hehe I know you want to hear them. Well, bye then!
3 Pirates |
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mudpiegrl
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2003 29 November :: 5.32am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: hmmmmm
wwooooo
um...
General Note: the validity and reliability of DSM personality disorders are still lacking in strong statistical evidence and clear agreement in the scientific and medical community.
Disorder Info
Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal
Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.
Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.
Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.
Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.
Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic
Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.
Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.
Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.
Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.
this is so stacey, i found a thing on her before...i was like gasp..so stacey
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.
Anxious Personality Disorders:
Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive
Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.
Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism
Dependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.
3 Pirates |
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mudpiegrl
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2003 29 November :: 4.53am
counter says eight...now going to be nine....htats how many times ive been to my own journal tonight!!!!!!! am suuuuuuuuuuuuccchhhhhhh a loser.....but it was cuz i was fixing it and updating and stuff.....yup....done
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mudpiegrl
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2003 29 November :: 3.55am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: ::nibble nibble:: ::crunch::
"i miss my cupcake"
guys...i forgot waht i was going to write. am having so much fun looking up people, all thanks to percentzero, which btw, is there something more...er...appropriate? lol to call you? takes sooo long to type %0 yea. woah...you know...no matter how many times ive read that, i never thought about waht it meant. oo....sound like ditz day. geez
well anyways! i made beads today! jen knows what i mean...sandy too.....oo and goli, this is your stardom goli
GOLI, goli, goli and dangoli, goli, goli
yup. so i was bored. today i watched loads of sharon osbourne...she is hilarious! i love it! marilyn manson was on today! o god. he is so funny too! and steve harvey. o lordy...its so hard for me to laugh out loud at shows, its very rare that i do...but o lordy was i laughing. yes then i called sand, namely because i was bore dbut also because i needed a way to call the woman i babysit for so that she may call and say she needs a babysitter last minute and i will not be home so she can go over for a half hour or so. yup. thats how it shall go. hopefully. my dad was bitching at me to make it work cuz if it doesnt am in shit. what the hell. arg. and then goli came over...afollowed by neil...we called dan loads of times...he thought it was shay lol.....shes an annoying child yes. she has much to learn before this year is over. how many people do you know that get kicked off cross country becasue they are so annoying? or who get yelled at by the most laid back people you know becuase of the same thing. yes.....its hard to imagine, but shes that bad. o well...well all deal in the magnificent thetere department that we are so fortunate to have. which by the way, joesph tryouts are next week.....eek! am not trying out but thats when we find out who crew heads are, which i did apply for! woo! am excited for JOESPH and the TECHNOCOLOR DREAMCOAT, but only because am soooo bored without crew. yes children, sadly, without crew.....I HAVE NO LIFE! as many will vouch. ::sihg:: i shud clean my room. on wed, before school, i was standing at my doorway and i looked at my room and i had this sudden urge to stay home from school to clean my room....yea...thats so uncharacteristic of jorie. yea. um...i told my mum, cuz she drove me to school because jen wasnt up to it por que her knee...um...and shes like "yea the day i was in labour with you, i had the same thing...i cleaned the house all day. i think its some mother thing...i cnat remember wahts its called" am like "nesting instinct?" "yea thats it." but to you all. i am not pregnant. am still a virgin for that matter. its strange. im going to spend my entire first pregnancy cleaning my house!!! lol. i have my little lights on...they are red. yes. um...does anyone know how to put pictures on wiht html from your computer or from another site without going to the site?....if that makes sense....yea......id appreciate it greatly all you html g~o~d~s! :) you are my friends! :) special thanx to um...youre name is too long to remember...just go to the previous entry...or next on the page i suppose and look in comments...the girl with the nuts icon that looks awesoem. yup. her. :-Ds to you.
so this is waht i watched on tv today:
so marilyn manson was on sharon osbourne. yes.
~mm
*so
^kelly osbourne
~i brought one of my paintings for your birthday
*o how wonderful
~and phone sex
^o_O (
*o yes...that was at two o'clock in the mornin'
^ (appalled) what?!?
*i was on my meds!
~(sarcastically) so was i...
*i thought he was your father!
~well thats ok then
^(like gasp and a half now) WHAT?!?
~oh its only because you werent home
*yes, she was at her friends house then...
^(wide open mouth in gasping type expression without any screeching sounds of what the fuck is going on but really wanting to because she was so incredibly baffled and unwanting to hear this about her mother which they were obviously kidding but....youknowallthat-ness)
twas hilariuos!! i want to see it again. yes.
then steve harvey came on and i cant really recap for you, but he was just a funny guy...he dresses really nicely, has a new line of clothes coming out, has his own show in which people do strange things like make sandwiches wiht thier feet, later offering them to the host of the show, and people who can fit in dryers.....strange.......but yes...um...
then i watched shit from italian job...like the stunts and mini stuff....like yea.....if youve seen it they have three minis. well they bought loads of them, thirty two i think...and they all had different purposes. some were 'hero' cars, the ones that didnt get scratched...and all of them had different body work...but all the actors did their own driving and had to go to a few weeks worth of driving school...um...yea it was cool to watch...it makes me want to do movie set stuff...maybe in college that would be an awesome option. but ::sigh:: twill come too fast this college business......
im failing to remember the show that i watched otherwise. oooooo yes maury!
that took a load of thought...btw...a load is recently used in place of "a lot" i feel its used too commonly, same as "im sorry" and that other overused phrase...i cnat remember right now...its three twenty five...y'all shut up now, ya hear?
lol
so i watched maury and it was "can you tell? christmas cuties or men dressed as beauties"
well let me tell you, they were hardly beauties...two of eleven were women, and very ugly ones at that. but the only two i was absolutly shur were women, were men. yea...during the show, katherine and her friend tony from the city (i.e. meg the flamingo girl). we were all entirely befuddled by the results. yup.
still waiting for words on jill...still wondering what the hell i did now. still wishing she would tell me. still hoping shes gonna tell me so that i can move on, whether she decides to be there or not. still asking if shes going to be there or not. still, she shud be. unless its a totally unavoidable issue, which seems to be so much, because she doesnt speak of it, expecting it to go away, and then tends to wonder where all her friends've gone. hm.
g'night all...
sweet dreams of snow ~cue sandy and goli whine...now!, chocolate bunnies, and gumdrops (shut up i couldnt think of anything else fun! and they are pretty anyways, even though they dont taste so great...yup gnight)
2 Pirates |
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Toki
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2003 28 November :: 1.16pm
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: My sister's CD again
Good Morning
Well good morning. Happy late Thanksgiving, since I forgot to wish Happy Thanksgivings yesterday. Yesterday wasn't too bad, I was surprised, I mean, a day with my family, yuo'd expect that to be hell. But thankfully Jackie was online from her cousin's house, so I had human interaction. Yeah, so I was pretty much just .....blah...all day yesterday. Then like at 11:00 I got this insane wave of energy. Like I was more hyper then I've ever been in like two weeks. The bad part: I was only talking to Justin and Wender...so yeah, I was going insane. But then Justin had to start talking all serious and Wender was all "I'm not gonna talk back" So I died. But I was still insanely awake. Crazy, eh?? So yeah, did you know there's nothing to do at quarter to two?? It sucks, So I'm gonna switch places with someone who lives in like Italy or GB or Ireland...anywhere but Libertyville/VH..cuz I'm bored of it. Um yes, I had a freaky weird dream last night. But I'll wait till you're there, cuz I h ad a story I wanted to tell people but I wrote about it here and everyone knew, I was like grrr...So HA! You'll have to wait...::clears throat:: :-D Ahhh, I have to like completly clean out my room today. And I have this feeling that I'll have to stay home all day and watch Joey. :-( I HATE MY FAMILY!! Justin's supposed to call me and I might do something with him and one of his friends that I don't know sometime this weekend, so blah. I kinda don't want to though. Cuz I dunno, I'm not good with new people. The only person I could talkt o the first time I met them was Jessica. Weird...I know. Anyways, I'm bored. If you're bored, call me.
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