Im confused.

I thought I had clicked. Finally been able to give it up and be ready to not deal with it anymore.

Yet Im still here, wavering in the wind on what to do here.
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Im trying so hard to find a way to just fuck it and give it up. Tell her off. She needs to understand how my end of the situation came about and how its going. How its got to go if I can ever move on to being "just friends."

Regardless of what anyone else thinks, everyone wants something from someone else. No matter what the relation. Tangible or otherwise there is something the other person gains from your relationship. Friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc.

The question is, do you understand what it is the other person wants from you?

In my situation I wanted friendship. It then became wanting companionship. Then it became wanting out of this problem.

For her it was friendship, then it started to become wanting a relationship and with the snap of a finger that ended. Now its friendship but wanting companionship just not in this way.


Will she ever realize how her words are taken by other people? Will she understand face value is a stupid term. Reading into a situation is key. More than key.

I need her to understand how maddened I become every time I think I sense a change in her demeanor. "I miss you" means more than it says. If you think otherwise you are a fool and should just learn to hold your tongue. You cant tell me you miss me constantly, know you have the option to see me and then NOT make use of it only to keep saying it. That drives me up the wall.

Fucking take a leap of faith if you want me. If you want to say you want me only to just be friends. Im going to make a decision that you wont like. Because Ive talked to numerous people who agree. It needs to end. Its not healthy and it definitely not healthy to think that keeping what this is going like it is.

I need to end it soon. No talking. No texting. No messages on fb. Nothing. I need to just say "hey I cant do this, its driving me insane. Your confusion on the issue leaves me with no other option than to do what I need to do to keep me going. if you think you deserve a place in that then you need to speak up or Ill talk to you someday down the line."

Im in a place in my life where I want a companion. Not a mess. Not dating. Not being overly good friends. A companion. You clearly arent being that, so I should move on. You can come and let me know that youre ready for such a thing, if you truly are. Otherwise, Ill talk to you when I talk to you. Good luck, but for now its goodbye.