drowning-in-you
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2004 1 February :: 9.10am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: The All American Rejects - Time Stands Still
i'm such a drama queen...
well ok it's not my last entry, but i just don't feel like saying my problems anymore, cuz i just don't...so yeah i'm ok now i guess...but whatever...
"don't want your hand this time, i'll save myself, maybe i'll wake up for once..."
maybe...just for once...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 1 February :: 12.14am
:: Mood: numb & crying
:: Music: Sarah Mclaughlin - Fallen
temporary goodbyes are things i'm used to in my worthless life...
i think this will be the few last entries i write here...i can't talk bout me anymore...i can't be open w/ everyone here...i can't speak...i think i'm dead...it's not a total thing that i'll never write again here, but i just don't know what to say anymore, & i don't have the strength to do things that i thought i could do...
w/ my last few words that i may write here:
HANG ME ON A ROPE, TELL ME ALL MY WRONGS, FOR IN THIS WORLD I DO NOT BELONG...
1 extra bushel |
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 31 January :: 2.23pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: The Mavericks - All You Ever Do Is Bring Me Down
still kinda cleaning...
so yeah i'm still at home trying to get some things done...didn't really watch my chick flicks, but i did eat & relax some...i'm almost done w/ my laundry & i'm gonna have to clean up the floor & vaccuum...hopefully my dad will let me go out tonight...i really need it...well i'ma finish...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 31 January :: 10.09am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: Blackstreet - Don't Leave Me Girl
boring at my house man...
well my dad left to work, & i'm gonna try to clean up not only my whole room but some of the house...my motive?...to go to the drive-ins w/ joey, lina, ben, aubs, & daniel...hopefully my dad won't freak like he did last time...*oi* i hope i can go...but if he says no, then i think joey & i will still hang out so that's coo...i already started doing laundry so that's coo...i'm gonna have to make my bed, vaccuum, & put things away...i should also clean up the bathroom cuz i left all my make-up & hair stuff from last night all over the counter...
maybe afterwards i'm gonna eat something & watch some chick flicks...i realized that i need to relax somewhat today...well after my chores obviously...but i deserve it...i finished finals & i think i got a 3.0 barely...i finished my last carrot queen race...i am pretty much caught up on assignments...i should be able to breathe now...*sigh*...wow, that was great...
so yeah i think i'll be on my way now...talk later...
1 extra bushel |
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 30 January :: 10.36pm
Darky...thts all...not so depressing....not so
happy....but still smiling a bit.....
-How Depressing Are You?-
brought to you by Quizilla
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 30 January :: 10.32pm
:: Mood: satisfied
:: Music: fefe dobson - Everything
1,000 tickets got me 3rd runner-up, & it's finally over...*yay*...
well the banquet went ok i guess...didn't win like i knew i would...got 3rd runner-up...4th place for those who don't understand placements...& there were only 4 running...but i got my money so i think we're good...joey hung out afterwards, so that was coo...i'm glad that he came...i wish denisse & rosa could've came, but oh well i guess...
so yeah joey diez won carrot queen...what a fucking surprise...but i handled it well...c'mon, don't pretend that you didn't see that one coming?...lol...
i think i'm gonna get some sleep now that joey called to let me know that he got home safely...*sigh*...i can't wait til home for him is home for me... :D ...
g'night...sweet dreams...sleep tight...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 30 January :: 4.04pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: Evanescence - Everybody's Fool
i hate you so much...
i can't talk to danny w/out feeling like shit sometimes...& this is when i see that joey was so right...*ugh*...(i hate to be proven wrong if you haven't noticed)...i realize that i stress so much over little things & when i talk to danny it makes it worse...he's bitching to me on the phone something bout his dog & 6th period...all of which i don't understand...mainly cuz i can't concentrate today...i've always hated & will always hate the way that danny tries to "calm" me down..."breathe in & out becky...look at me & breathe..."...some other shit like that...i hate that he all of a sudden cares...when it was him who never told me his side of the problem of when we broke up...
i'm sorry, it hurts to say it, but he's been asking me ever since he got w/ griselda if i'd ever leave joey for him, or if there was a chance of us getting back together...fortunetly for me, the answer, is painful for him to read i bet...
DANNY, YOU'VE MADE ME HURT SINCE THE DAY YOU LIED TO ME...& I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER FORGIVE YOU...& IF OUR FRIENDSHIP ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, THEN FORGET IT ALL...BUT AS FAR AS A RELATIONSHIP GOES, YOU WERE LUCKY TO HAVE HAD ME FOR 3 YEARS, BUT I'D RATHER BE WITH SOMEONE WHO CARES & WANTS TO BE WITH ME FOR LIFE!!!
fuck this, talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 30 January :: 6.50am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Brand New - The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
a cold morning...
i had danny wake me up this morning by calling me...it worked but i forgot that i was mad at him last night so it came back when i answered the phone...so yeah anyways...
i'm having to look over my theisis statement for mac...i have a writing test in 5th per. & i have to go in at 8 to fix my theisis...or i should've already done so...& i can't figure out one... :( ...i'm surprised that i actually got an A in that class...must be a glitch in the computer...lol...
i never remember how to make a theisis statement, yet i usually get the highest grade w/ it in my class...?????...oh well, i hope mine goes over well...i've been thinking bout it so much that i have no clue what i'm going to write bout after the damn theisis...*shit*...
i'm gonna have to go, but before i do...i found out that something's wrong w/ my cd drive on the computer...it doesn't read any cd...so if anyone has any suggestions bout it please comment...thanx...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 29 January :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: aggravated
shitpiss day
this day would've totally sucked ass had i not seen joey...& i saw him...
:D
so yeah the day sucked, end of story...
i love you joey...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 28 January :: 10.31pm
:: Mood: tired
ogguly booguly...
well i sold 1,000 tickets, which was a huge surprise to me...i kinda had a bad night...i just wish that ppl would accept things when they happen, like when my dad's gf walked out...she left, & that's that...so yeah...i dunno i got frustrated & just went to joey's to hang out...it was coo...
well all i have to worry bout now is the banquet...so that's coo...i'm getting tired...oh by the way pictures i think came out ok, but i still don't like the guy that does them, he sux...& he was rushing us...dude, asshole!...whatever anyways, well i better get going i have early practice tomorrow...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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drowning-in-you
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2004 28 January :: 2.35pm
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: System of a Down - Aerials
little time left...
well i've got 1/2 an hour til i have to turn in my tickets today...i'm gonna lose, but i did try...
just not very much ;)
wish me luck...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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