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2004 7 January :: 7.31am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Stained - So Far Away
beautifully depressed
i was thinking bout telling joey not to come pick me up this morning...lastnight i cried when i got into bed, but i tried not to cuz i know my dad would come in my room & get whatever was bugging me out...(hint to all girls: no matter what circumstances or anything...don't sleep w/ mascara on...& don't cry & leave it on)...i didn't have a dream bout it...actually i can't remember what my dream was *damnit*...i just hope that school is ok...i have a feeling we're still gonna fight...
i have a feeling i'm gonna throw in the first punch...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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2004 6 January :: 10.44pm
:: Mood: still crying
:: Music: 3 Doors Down - Here W/out You
just to inform:
i just found out that chc got my application...let's see if they accept me...
as for everything else...still shit...joey just left online & i just feel like shit...i'm gonna sit on the balcony & cry for the rest of the night...not like many would care at this point...maybe like 1 person...neecie poo...but i think no one else cares anymore...
i never wanted to die drowning...but i guess i will be in my own tears...
royal load of cranberries
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2004 6 January :: 10.20pm
:: Mood: crying
:: Music: Counting Crows - A Long December
i hate this feeling...
i hate the fact that i'm so damn anxious to get married to joey...we had a date in mind again, & again i guess we're not going for it...i scared him w/ something today & somehow it turned into a fight that i think we're still on right now...i don't know what to do & i'm scaring myself into thinking i'm gonna fuck this relationship up...i know i have...*ugh* nm...i don't know what to do at this point which is why i'm crying right now...& then danny doesnt' help which i'm still not sure what to do...if i could i'd run away for a couple days...maybe i'd find myself...i just wish i knew what to do...
danny is right bout one thing though...i do run away from my problems...i wish i could fix that...but i can't fix shit...i'm useless...
I'M WORTHLESS... :'(
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2004 5 January :: 7.33pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Avril Lavigne - Why
BACK TO NORMAL
well today was the first day back from break...wow...i was dreading it up until i walked into the band room...god it was so good to see the people again...back in our "natural habitat"...i have a shit load of hmwk tonight...& it's amazing to see that i'm almost done with it...joey wore a white shirt today...sometimes i wonder what would happen if he did that for quite a while...it was a change that i couldn't accept at first, but later in the day it kicked ass...esp. with his cute sun-glasses & braids...damn my bf is hot...lol...anyways...nothing exciting today...it was just a good feeling to be back...i'm not looking forward to playing in band much but all my classes are looking interesting...*oi*...i found a kick ass song by avril today..."why"...well yeah i'm just finishing up hmwk & putting away clothes right now...i'll get back sometime tonight cuz i got nothing better to do...i love you joey...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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2004 4 January :: 1.54pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Garbage - Only happy when it rains
lol
I did it in 34 seconds.
I deserved a B-!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!
royal load of cranberries
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2004 3 January :: 6.54pm
:: Mood: amused
learned a new word:
scheissauto ->shit car...
lol i think i'll put that in my vocabulary when i drive the stick shift around...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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2004 3 January :: 10.35am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Counting Crows - A Long December
kinda early for me
i'm getting ready to go out w/ my mom & denisse right now...i've been listening to "a long december" (counting crows) a lot lately...listen to it...it's kinda cool...well...i guess i have nothing better to do than to surf the net all the time...ppl were getting kinda mad w/ me last night cuz i was online so late...i was on til like 2:15...whoops...well whatever...hopefully i see joey again tonight...i want to fall asleep w/ him on the balcony again...that was a beautiful moment...& for me to say that...*wow*...cuz i don't consider moments beautiful...
but it was...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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2004 3 January :: 2.19am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Evanescence - Whisper
sleepy poo
i'm in a wierd mood right now...i hung out w/ joey & we came back & sat on the balcony under (some) stars & fell asleep for a while...i enjoyed it...i wish i had more moments like that...just to fall asleep in his arms...*oi*...jorge has got me up & with it on the band issue...i wish i could get myself motivated to do things again like other ppl can...oh well...i'm still kinda stressed out bout the carrot race but i figure i'll get over it soon i think...well i should get some sleep...talk later...
i love you joey...i'll get sleep don't worry...*kiss*...
royal load of cranberries
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2004 2 January :: 6.25pm
:: Mood: cheerful
i'm in a good mood again...
well i had my spirits lifted to hang out w/ denisse today...saw my mom & felt uncomfortable...oh well...joey & joy are here too...talking to chavez & trading off evanescence pics w/ him & knowing i'm wanted (somewhat)...nice to have lots of company now...the question from the previous post still holds up & i have no answers still, so feel free to respond w/ suggestions & answers...*oi*...talk later...
royal load of cranberries
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2004 2 January :: 3.14pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: real world on mtv...marathon
caution: stress causes thinking
well i was trying to call a company for something cuz i guess i owe money...whatever...they won't even fuckin answer the phone, so why should i pay?...anyways...denisse is over again...lol...i should marry her...ha ha nope...it'll be joey don't worry people...
i was thinking about something today...& if anyone was to answer or give a suggestion of this problem it must only come from those other than joey danny denisse...ok...it was brought to my attention today bout the issue w/ danny...do i keep him as a friend even though it kills him...i can't dump joey, yes i do love him...hell i'm planning on getting married...but losing danny as a friend would kill me cuz i know he wouldn't act mature bout it...what do i do?...
talk later...estoy cansada lol...i love you joey...
1 extra bushel |
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2004 2 January :: 3.09pm
:: Mood: cranky
CONGRATULATIONS YOU KNOW EVANESCENCE!!! if you get
this message you can message me or aim me, my
sn is insanefishhead!!!
are you obsessed with evanescence like i am???
brought to you by Quizilla
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