ok the real reason i've neglected you...
well the track meet was ok i guess...i'm just gonna pull through it & hope to goodness it ends soon, cuz last night was hell & i'm not sure that i can stand some of my teammates much longer...& it sux to be like that...but you know that it sux when after you ran a good race you cry cuz you think your team hates you... :S ...yeah that was me...

i've been very stressed lately & that's why i've been neglecting to keep everyone updated on my life right now...i don't have time to sleep, do my homework, clean my room, do my laundry...barely enough time to eat (not much though) & take a shower for school...(shit i need to do that soon or i'll be late...lol...)...so i guess that's why i broke down last night...

i've been really frustrated w/ joey lately, & i want to get over it so bad...i've been debating whether or not i should write down what happened...but damnit, it's my journal...i do what i want...lol...

i dunno i just didn't feel like i enjoyed myself tuesday...& i was really hungry & i told him i wanted to go home, & we didn't...but i can understand now that maybe he didn't hear me when i said it...then yeah...then he dropped me off to band & well...didn't quite pick me up...so yeah & then i had to try to save his butt from getting into trouble w/ his dad (which unfortunetly he didn't avoid)...so now because of a few lies to his dad & the rest of the night coming down he's in trouble...we can't go & hang out anymore...no more radio station for him...(damn i'm gonna need a ride :( ...)...so yeah that really sux...& with what i went through yesterday i sure could've needed him there...

the track meet was fine until i started to take offense to things that i need to get over...i knew that "jossy" has had the longest crush on "jason" & it's been bugging me...i can't stand the fact that everyone thinks i'm trying to hit on jason & shit...i know that we had a history, but jeez...
i was really pist because of that whole thing...& for some reason, i had a friendly case of jealousy...but w/ friends, i just don't want to see them get hurt...although sometimes i think he should...lol jk...anywho...well also while we were stretching, my teammate said that my henna tats were really ugly, esp the one joey made...& she had no remorse of saying it...so that made me a little ticked...then i was mad cuz someone had told jason to fucking get over me & that i'm doing this to him purposely...

you know what i just realized, why am i using code names if i know for a fact that most of you who know my problems know who i'm talking bout?...*oi*...whatever...

so yeah after my race i cried cuz i hate ppl who think that i'm trying to hurt him...WE'RE JUST FRIENDS...it sux...& i can't take much of it anymore...i think i'm gonna blow up in front of that girl though...that's why i'm afraid of talking to her...*ugh*...what can i do now?...

damn hoochies...

well i need to get going...i'm sorry if i've worried anyone since i haven't written in here...talk later..

royal load of cranberries