::
2005 14 July :: 3.03 pm
The past is told by those who win, my darling.
2 You are my satellite |
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 13 July :: 3.20 pm
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 12 July :: 11.46 pm
I've been thinking a lot about babies lately. A lot.
I really, really, really, really want a baby. Really. I want to start a family. But there's the whole no sex before marriage thing and the more important got to go to college to make money to support baby thing.
But goodness, I really what someone to take care of and love more than anything in the world. I want someone who's a part of me.
Reading Jessa's journal makes me want a baby so much more than usual.
It hurts so much, this terrible longing for something and someone I know I can't have for at least four years.
I try to explain the feeling to a lot of people but I can't ever describe it well enough. It's like this tug at your heart and soul for a dream that you know you can't achieve.
It's heartbreak.
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 8 July :: 4.42 am
I
love
you.
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 7 July :: 4.03 am
My favorite Greek couple and tragedy
Eurydice and Orpheus were young and in love. So deep was their love that they were practically inseparable. So dependent was their love that each felt they could not live without the other. These young lovers were very happy and spent their time frolicking through the meadows. One day Eurydice was gaily running through a meadow with Orpheus when she was bitten by a serpent. The poison of the sting killed her and she descended to Hades immediately.
Orpheus was son of the great Olympian god Apollo. In many ways Apollo was the god of music and Orpheus was blessed with musical talents. Orpheus was so sad about the loss of his love that he composed music to express the terrible emptiness which pervaded his every breath and movement. He was so desperate and found so little else meaningful, that he decided address Hades. As the overseer of the underworld, Hades heart had to be hard as steel, and so it was. Many approached Hades to beg for loved ones back and as many times were refused. But Orpheus' music was so sweet and so moving that it softened the steel hearted heart of Hades himself. Hades gave permission to Orpheus to bring Eurydice back to the surface of the earth to enjoy the light of day. There was only one condition--Orpheus was not to look back as he ascended. He was to trust that Eurydice was immediately behind him. It was a long way back up and just as Orpheus had almost finished that last part of the trek, he looked behind him to make sure Eurydice was still with him. At that very moment, she was snatched back because he did not trust that she was there.
Orpheus was inconsolable at this second loss of his wife. He spurned the company of women and kept apart from ordinary human activities. A group of Ciconian Maenads, female devotees of Dionysus, came upon him one day as he sat singing beneath a tree. They attacked him, throwing rocks, branches, and anything else that came to hand. However, Orpheus' music was so beautiful that it charmed even inanimate objects, and the missiles refused to strike him. Finally, the Maenads' attacked him with their own hands, and tore him to pieces. Orpheus' head floated down the river, still singing, and came to rest on the isle of Lesbos.
1 You are my satellite |
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 7 July :: 1.07 am
Everyone keeps asking when it gets better and when it stops hurting.
It doesn't. Sorry.
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 6 July :: 5.15 pm
I don't like the new Jackie.
You know, the one that drinks. The one who doesn't hang out with anyone but Matador.
That one.
I don't like her.
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 6 July :: 3.17 am
I hate ending a conversation with an argument.
I'm sorry.
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 5 July :: 4.09 pm
I really hate this butterfly crap everyone keeps pushing.
That's not how it works.
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 5 July :: 3.50 am
I hate...
Nick's job
Not having a license
Not having a car
Not having the balls to get either of the two above
Not having a job
Not having anywhere to go with my friends
Not having spontaneity
Not being nice to my parents
Lying
Not being nice to my friends
And all the other shit I don't have.
A baby, a family, a husband, money for college, a life, a time when I don't bawl my eyes out...
Whatever. It's just that time of night. Stupid excuses.
I'm going to bed.
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 4 July :: 3.40 am
:: Mood: sad
I don't think we really solved the stuff from yesterday.
Nick's still upset about it.
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 1 July :: 10.05 pm
You know what I'd really like?
One of those LED belt buckles.
1 You are my satellite |
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 1 July :: 9.28 pm
Song: "Out of the Picture" by The Robins
Always the first star that I find |
::
2005 1 July :: 9.09 pm
That Canadian is pretty cool.
"In Canada, we're still in 2002. We use a Canadian calendar, a metric calendar. There's 1000 days in a year, 10 days in a week and 100 hours in a day."
1 You are my satellite |
Always the first star that I find |
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