:: 2006 18 September :: 10.30 pm

I don't like Jessa's boytoy.

I'm excited for Nick's birthday present. I hope I can make it like I want it to be. Whenever I make art projects they turn out horrible and nothing like I imagined.

This woman is talking about her inability to have children and I'm crying. Stupid hormones.

La la.

I missed a Spanish quiz today when I skipped. Two quizzes actually. I'm kind of upset about that.

I'm making Emily a happy package. I'll go work on that now.

Love you.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 25 August :: 10.48 pm

I hate having my period.

Everything means something.

1 You are my satellite | Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 13 August :: 10.49 pm

Everyone I liked so much a month ago, I now find unbearably annoying.

Perhaps it's overexposure but I think it's just finally realizing who they are.

I never realized how much I hate who people think I am/how people see me until today.

Oh and I have a whole big list of hates. This week has been hate week. I don't know why but I just hate.

1 You are my satellite | Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 30 July :: 9.14 pm

We ate dinner with Nick's parents the other day. I got a closer look at her ring.

It's beautiful. I want one like it.

Not exactly because every girl wants something unique.

But it's so perfect.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 30 July :: 3.00 am

I wonder if all Cedar girls do is graduate and get married or graduate and get pregnant.

I don't want to be one of those girls.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 21 July :: 7.19 am

They say a watched pot won't ever boil. Well, I closed my eyes and nothing changed, just some water getting hotter in the flames.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 17 July :: 12.39 pm

I want a baby. A cute little baby girl or boy that I can baby and coddle and take care of and love to death for the rest of my life.

I have at least four years to wait.

Four years ago, I was fifteen. The same age that my sister is now.

Goodness. We were going to be sophmores in high school. I hadn't yet met Nick.

It seems so long from now.

I love you all.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 7 July :: 2.26 pm

Okay, I'm just going to tell you so you don't get it wrong.

A small silver or platinum ring with a single stone (I don't know what yet, I'd hate to go traditional with a diamond but I might) that will reflect light/create a "tinkerbell". I love your mother's stackable/whatever set of engagement ring and band. It's beautiful. An engravement is not needed but, as every woman, I want my engagement ring to be unique and that's just one way of doing it.

I think that's it. When I say small, I mean thin and without a big jewel. You know the size of the ring you got me? That's perfect. I might be able to have it a little bigger/wider but only a little. It's pretty much okay at this size. Oh, okay, a little bigger so it shows off a bit more.

I love you.

P.S. I'm size 5ish so it'd be small.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 7 July :: 2.07 pm

On engraving:

"If you can't edit your sentiment down to a mere few words or would like to use a stanza from a poem or song, consider engraving your love letter -- or continuing the message engraved in your ring! -- around the rim of the stone itself. Not only is this the ultimate secret declaration of your love (the inscription is invisible to the naked eye but can be seen with a magnifying glass), it can also serve as a foolproof "birthmark" should the stone ever be lost or stolen. The Gemological Institute of America will do the deed on stones up to one carat for $28 for the first 15 characters (spaces count). Ask your jeweler for details."




That would be so fantastic.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 6 July :: 9.56 pm

My mommy was looking up AML earlier today.

I'm not going to read into it and I'm just going to say that it was because Hannah's friend's mother had it.

The end.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 1 July :: 9.29 pm

I'm reading Lucky, Alice Sebold (the author of The Lovely Bones)'s book about being raped in college.

It's sad but that might just be because I'm stupidly hormonal.

I cried when I hit a butterfly yesterday.

I had dreams about babies.

Tomorrow I begin pills again, thank goodness. I'm sick and tired of being hormonal all the time. The pill calms me down most of the time, I"m not as moody or anything. I'm not really on anything right now. Just the fake white pills and I'm moody as hell.

I got pissed at Andy for no reason today when I was in the car with Nick. It just makes me mad how he calls me and Jess morons. What makes me more angry is the fact that he says we're not really friends or anything.

This doesn't make sense. I'm sorry. I'm moody.

Anyway, this book is good. You should read it. I'm not that far in it though so... it could get bad.

1 You are my satellite | Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 30 June :: 3.19 pm

When you click this link, you are agreeing to the following terms:

1) You shall not steal any of these baby names as your own.
2) You shall not claim any of these baby names as your own.
3) You shall not use any of these baby names to name your own children (this will be okay because I will probably have children before you anyway).
4) You shall offer your opinion and suggestions concerning these names.


If, and only if, you agree to the above terms, you may click on the following link.

Read more..

2 You are my satellite | Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 30 June :: 3.15 pm

I misunderstood one of the advisors and said no, I didn't get a second job.

So she offered me a house sitting job when she's away sometimes. She has a kitty that needs love and attention.

I said I would most definitely be a better canidate than Ashley because Ashley's not fond of cats.

So there's another job. Albeit a fluctuating one.

Yay, money.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 26 June :: 11.10 am

Nick's leg has been hurting. It makes me sad.






You know why I love him? When we were at Start of Summer, I mentioned that I wished he could have met my aunt. He said, "I will someday."

You know why I love him? We went to see Click last night and we both cried.

Always the first star that I find

:: 2006 19 June :: 10.44 am

I don't know what to say.

Always the first star that I find