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thoughts of you
run through my head
like suicide does

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:: 2004 6 June :: 2.47 pm

awww she's so cute!

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poisonedxlove

oh my beautiful one


:: 2004 6 June :: 12.39 pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: none..

life's starting to look up... kinda
well... i start work next week at toys r us... training is on tuesday after school... that's cool... and my cousin works there too so i'm happy... dude... friday night was awesome... at like 5ish, i walked over to courtney's... jess ashley and dave were there... then around like 6:45 me and jess left and went to her house... then we went up to the mall.. hung out w/ a bunch of people, but then people started getting kicked out like whoa... all of our friends... so me and jess found ross thayer john and ashley, and we went over towards loews, cause that's where we figured everyone would be... so of course, people were there... not actually at loews, but by the steps across the highway leading up towards the silver diner... so we all chilled there... important people there that i knew included samm, ross, robbie, thayer, ashley, john, jessica, drew, mike, vince.... umm.. i can't remember who else.. but oh well... it was fun... we ended up walking over to the movies... chilled there for a while, marlin came and picked up jessica.. and then ross, thayer, samm and john all came home w/ me... we chilled outside and went to the park... i got molested by ross numerous times, got i got pinned on the slide with thayer and samm like on top of me tickling me so i couldn't move.... very uncool lol... ross and thayer got picked up at i guess 11:30ish... and john and samm stayed til like midnight... then i came inside and chilled... then went to bed...


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saturday sucked... i didn't do anything... i just chilled around the house all day... i was home alone from like noon, til like 9... which was cool.. people came over... left at like 11... then i went upstairs and watched the rundown and went to bed...

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today's plans consist of doing chores and massive english homework so i can pass... the chickens are going to be hatching tonight/tomorrow... i'm so excited!! i'm bringing my mom's camera to school tomorrow to take pictures to show my brother... hehe.. lol.. i'm so excited for the end of the year... 3 full days left... monday-wednesday.. then i have a final friday, saturday detention, and 2 finals monday... after that, i'm done... i can't wait for the summer... i'll have a job which means i'll have money to do whatever i want... *big smile*

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on a completely different subject... i been thinking alot lately about stuff... and as much as i want to hate him and pretend he doesn't exsist, i can't... i think about him too much... and i miss him alot... but things are really confusing right now... i don't even know what i'd tell him if i were to talk to him.... but blehh... idk i guess i should give it more time...

oh my beautiful one


:: 2004 3 June :: 4.57 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: starting line..

this is what happens when you get really bored
What is your favorite..
gum:winterfresh
restaurant:silver diner muahahaha
drink:vodka & orange juice <3
season:spring/summer
type of weather:warm and sunny
emotion:feeling cared about
thing to do on a half day:take a nap, and go chill with people
late-night activity:wander the streets with all my friends
sport:i hate sports
city:anywhere but cherry hill
store:eh... idk
When was the last time you..
cried:tuesday night.. big fight w/ mommy..
played a sport:in gym class
laughed:today
hugged someone:today
kissed someone:idk... not recently
felt depressed:right now
felt elated:not recently
felt overworked:tuesday after cleaning my room
faked sick:last week
lied:today
What was the last..
word you said:"shit!"
thing you ate:mac n cheese
song you listened to:ataris - boys of summer
thing you drank:water
place you went to:toys r us
movie you saw:at the theatre? mean girls
movie you rented:spy kids?
concert you attended:umm... idk
Who was the last person you..
hugged:hmm... mike?
cried over:kevin
kissed:kevin
danced with:erica
shared a secret with:samm
had a sleepover with:sam, kristen, bridget, rian, jr, jordan.. not really a sleepover though cause we didn't sleep
called:don't remember
went to a movie with:erica
saw:manager at toys r us
were angry with:some guy who keeps ignoring me even if he doesn't realize it
couldn't take your eyes off of:the new kid
obsessed over:kevin
Have you ever..
danced in the rain:yea
kissed someone:mhmm
done drugs:unfortunatly
drank alcohol:of course
slept around:no
partied 'til the sun came up:hell yea
had a movie marathon:yep
gone too far on a dare:uh huh
spun until you were immensely dizzy:hasn't everyone?
taken a survey quite like this before:yea

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety! brought to you by BZOINK!

oh my beautiful one


:: 2004 3 June :: 4.17 pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: avril - don't tell me

i feel like dying
blehh... nothing exciting is happening right now... monday i went to my grandmothers for a while and sat around... boring stuff... tuesday i went in late to school... after school.. sat around like usual... took a nap... watched the season premere(spelling) of summerland... pretty good... got into a fight with my mom cause she's got a stick up her ass... then i went up to my room to clean... it took til like 2 in the morning, but i cleaned it, moved my shit around... not finished yet.. but it looks good... wednesday i skipped 1st w/ ross frank and courtney... we went to 7-11 and then to the park... ross attempted to write words in the ground... went back to school... boring... came home.. sat around on my ass... and today... went to school... it sucked.. as usual... left 6th period w/ tc mike and thayer... that's not a big surprise... came back for 7th... and during VW we listened to ourselves sing from the very beginning of the school year... and omg it was horrible.. other than that, i came home, went right to an interview for toys r us which went good except that they said if i get hired, i can't keep the purple in my hair and that it has to be a natural color cause they're under new management... yea.. can you say GAY... anyway... that's my week short and simple... summer is coming so quickly... i'm excited for it... cause i can't stand school anymore... another thing i can't stand? being ignored by people... yea... it sucks big time... i'm starting to think i fucked up... and that i made a mistake... but lets just keep it at that.... i've got finals on 2 days... next friday, and the following monday... i've got a pool party coming up next sunday for music... other then that... life sucks...

oh my beautiful one


:: 2004 30 May :: 6.01 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: usher - burn

i wish it was summer already
hmm.... this week kinda sucked.. i don't even exactly remember what happened... monday kinda sucked.... tuesday i had an interview after school... i got the job, but i needed to pass a drug test first..... wednesday umm...i left after 6th period to take the drug test which i don't know if i passed yet.... went home to get changed n drop off my shit, went back up to school.... went home w/ megan... we hung out at her house for a while, then we went to mike's... then robbie came over.. and me and meg were sitting in the street cause they let the dog out on the deck, and we were being ignored, so we just kinda left... robbie followed... we played bitch and ignored him for a while, ross came over, me and megan went on the playground equipment and went to sleep, then ross n robbie came up to bother us... then ross left, then robbie walked me and megan back to meg's... me and megan went out to eat w/ her daddy... then i came home around like 8:45...


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thursday was boring.. just like monday n tuesday... i don't exactly remember what i did... oh yea.. i came home and took a nap til like 8:30.... nothing fun.... then on friday, i was debating on whether or not i should go to the mall and whatever.. i decided to since i had nothing better to do, and there were people there that i knew... i got to the mall, sat down with erica, karina and charlene... ross came over and yelled at me for not going over to where him, robbie, drew and vince were to say hi and i yelled at him to go away cause we were having girl talk... then he left and vince came over... he was harder to get rid of, then lisa came over to sit with us during her dinner break from work... and then we saw sutton and boden talking to ross n all them over a few tables down... so i got up to go talk to all them... and then we went outside, i stuck with ross sutton and boden... we walked around til like 8ish when sutton n boden left... then me and ross went to go find robbie, who was out at the one with drew, vince, thayer, mike and umm... other people that i don't know nor do i care about... well after being ignored for most of the night by somebody.... i just kinda hung out and talked to vince... which was odd... lol... we made our way outside... then i walked around for a while... started to head towards home but i saw courtney and ashley walking, so i walked w/ them to the gas station... then i came home... then eventually went to bed.

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saturday was cool... woke up at like 10:30ish... chilled around the house... went to the movies w/ erica at 4:30... we saw the day after tomorrow... great movie.. but it was 2 hours long lol... so we leave there, go to her house and we just chilled for a while... went to my house so i could change my shoes, then went back to her house.. then went to the mall at like 9... ended up seeing amy and justin there.. they were so drunk.. it was funny... erica got a headache so she decided to go home, i stayed w/ amy and justin though... we went driving around, we drank the rest of the bottle of everclear... and i came home.... went to bed around midnight...

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today sucks ass... like majorly... nobody is home... and there's nothing to do.. just a boring sunday... and even better, there's still ANOTHER boring day to come before i go back to school... i'll probably sit on my ass in front of the tv all day tomorrow.. or maybe i'll clean my room or something... idk...i took a nap today... went to sleep at like 1... meant to wake up at 3, but when my alarm clock went off, i turned it back off and slept til 5 instead.... eh.. oh well.. not like there is anything to do today anyways... ugh... this sucks

oh my beautiful one


:: 2004 28 May :: 11.39 pm
:: Mood: shitty
:: Music: none..

took this from samantha lynn hehe
*Put an X next to every movie you have seen.*

1. CryBaby
2. The Craft [X]
3. X2
4. Swimfan
5. Fellowship of the Ring [X]
6. Finding Nemo [X]
7. Peter Pan [X]
8. Home Alone [X]
9. Aladdin [X]
10. The Ring [X]
11. 10 Things I Hate About You [X]
12. Not Another Teen Movie [X]
13. Spiceworld [X]
14. 8 Mile
15. Bambi [X]
16. Pirates of the Carribean [X]
17. Edward Scissorhands [X]
18. Stepmom
19. My Best Friends Wedding [X]
20. 101 Dalmations [X]
21. Scream [X]
22. Scream 2 [X]
23. Scream 3 [X]
24. Big Daddy [X]
25. Billy Madison [X]
26. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets [X]
27. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone [X]
28. Heartbreakers
29. Dumb & Dumber [X]
30. Two Weeks Notice
31. Scary Movie [X]
32. Look Who's Talking [X]
33. Blade
34. Blade II
35. O [X]
36. Titanic [X]
37. Carrie [X]
38. Carrie 2: The Rage [X]
39. Daddy Day Care
40. Legally Blonde [X]
41. Austin Powers [X]
42. Storm of the Century [X]
43. Oliver and Company [X]
44. Two Towers [X]
45. Return of the King [X]
46. Mighty Ducks [X]
47. Fast and the Furious [X]
48. 2 Fast, 2 Furious
49. A Walk To Remember [X]
50. XXX
51. Beauty and the Beast [X]
52. I Know What You Did Last Summer [X]
53. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer [X]
54. Sound of Music [X]
55. Mary Poppins
56. Tuck Everlasting [X]
57. The Patriot
58. The Wizard of Oz [X]
59. Killing Ms. Tingle [X]
60. Crossroads [X]
61. Now and Then [X]
62. Pearl Harbor [X]
63. Just Married [X]
64. Cast Away [X]
65. Radio Flyer
66. Final Destination [X]
67. Lady and the Tramp [X]
68. Shallow Hal [X]
69. 40 Days and 40 Nights
70. Bring It On [X]
71. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory [X]
72. The Outsiders [X]
73. The Matrix [X]
74. Perfect Storm [X]
75. Cruel Intentions [X]
76. Never Been Kissed [X]
77. Clueless [X]
78. Bruce Almighty [X]
79. Remember the Titans [X]
81. Girl, Interrupted [X]
82. SWAT
83. Sixth Sence [X]
84. PhoneBooth
85. The Lion King [X]
86. Urban Legends [X]
87. Nightflier
88. Lion King 2 [X]
89. Little Mermaid [X]
90. American Pie [X]
91. Center Stage [X]
92. Scooby Doo [X]
93. Bedazzled [X]
94. Mrs. Doubtfire [X]
95. Save the Last Dance [X]
96. My Girl [X]
97. American Beauty
98. Romeo & Juliet [X]
99. Lost World [X]
100. Casper [X]
101. Miss Congeniality [X]
102. The Rock
103. Face Off [X]
104. Moulin Rouge [X]
105. Sleeping Beauty [X]
106. Alien [X]
107. Tombstone
108. Lake Placid [X]
109. The Recruit
110. The Shining [X]
111. Pocahontas [X]
112. French Kiss
113. Pretty Woman
14. Dirty Dancing [X]
115. Italian Job
116. Love Actually
117. Identity [X]
118. The Mummy [X]
119. Drumline [X]
120. Finding Forrester
121. Monster's Inc. [X]
122. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
123. Spawn
124. All I Want
125. Mallrats [X]
126. Dogma [X]
127. Rat Race [X]
128. Stigmata [X]
129. Eye Of The Beholder
130. To Die For [X]
131. Gangs Of New York [X]
132. A Clockwork Orange
133. Chicago [X]
134. Big Fish
135. Donnie Darko
136. Chinatown
137. There's Something About Mary [X]
138. National Security [X]
139. What Dreams May Come [X]
140. Lilo and Stitch [X]
141. Selena [X]
142. Les Miserables; Tenth Anniversary Concert
143. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat [X]
144. Oliver [X]
145. The Haunting [X]
146. Jane Eyre
147. Monty Python and The Holy Grail [X]
148. Annie [X]
149. Pleasantville [X]
150. The Goodbye Girl
151. Evita [X]
152. How to Deal
153. Drop Dead Gorgeous [X]
154. Waiting for Guffman
155. The Breakfast Club [X]
156. Best In Show
157. The Matrix: Revolutions
158. The Matrix: Reloaded [X]
159. The Princess Bride [X]
160. Robin Hood Men In Tights [X]
161. Blue Streak [X]
162. Under the Tuscan Sun [X]
163. Star Wars: Episode I [X]
164. Star Wars: Episode II [X]
165. Corky Ramano [X]
166. A Night at the Roxbury [X]
167. Shanghi Nights [X]
168. Wild Wild West [X]
169. Men in Black [X]
170. Men in Black II [X]





wow, i've seen alot of movies.. lol... weird... anyway.. i'm too lazy to do a real entry tonight... maybe tomorrow i will..

oh my beautiful one


:: 2004 27 May :: 3.39 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: matchbook romance - my eyes burn

lol thought this was funny
murder
You're goin' down! FOR MURDER!
Please rate if you liked!


http://groups.msn.com/theplaceboeffect Please
visit!


What Would You Go to Jail For? (Many outcomes)
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oh my beautiful one


:: 2004 25 May :: 3.12 pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: matchbook romance - my eyes burn

this is all i have left to say

after this, nothing more. you said to me that you still want to be friends, but the truth is, i don't think i can be just friends with you. we've been together for so long and so that's all i know... it would be really hard for me to be around you and just act as if the past year has been an illusion, that it was nothing. i don't know how to act around you and how to be just a friend.. so i guess what i'm saying is that i think this is it.. the end. because i can't just be friends with somebody i care this much about and watch you be with somebody else... because i know that's what is going to happen. i care about you more than anything, no matter what, i always will because of the impact you've had on me. i'm trying to get on with my life and trying not to dweel on this but it's kinda hard if you want to still be friends. okay so i can still go out and have a good time, but you're almost always on my mind.. but i guess for many reasons this could turn out for the better... for one, we're still young, not even out of highschool yet, so it might not be the best to be with somebody for such a long time... we need to live a little... i said that the distance thing wasn't such a big deal, but its not that easy to be with somebody that i only see a few times a month... and that sucks majorly... so i guess now i have to let you go, for good this time, because the sooner i can forget, the sooner i can move on with my life.. goodbye, and i'm sorry.

oh my beautiful one


:: 2004 24 May :: 11.41 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: plain white t's - a lonely september

good weekend, bad ending
to start, friday afternoon, sam came and picked me up... we went back to her house and just chilled for the night... listened to music.. went for a walk and got scared to death of something that jumped in the lake when we were walking by it so we turned around and ran the other way lol.... we saw a dead frog... named him stinky... pretty much had fun...went to bed at like... idk around 3ish?


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saturday was the big day... i woke up at like 10:15ish... me and sam got showers, i burned like 4 cds full of music... which didn't exactly get played but oh well lol.... i did my hair, helped sam with hers and i did her make up for her and made her all sparkly yay! then we went shopping... went to party city and got massive decorations... then we went to walmart and got alot more shit... i forget exactly what... lol... then we dropped everything off at home, and went back out... we went to canals(a liquor store) and omg.. it was torture! i wanted it all!!! lmao... then we left there and went to acme for the cake... got back home at about 6:45... ashley, ashley and chris were there.... then soon after, rian showed up... then slowly, other people showed up... it was so much fun! lol... ashley astor turned herself into a food warrior! lmao it was so funny... we had lots of fun with the hawaiian leis... chris ran around like an idiot with a pink lei all stretched out and flying around behind him... ashley, ashley and i played spy and tried to sneak up on chris and rian who were talking in the front yard by rian's car.... we caught a small frog and named him stretch cause he had long legs... we all played with him for a while... by this time, everyone was there.. kristen, jr, jordan, rian, ashley, ashley, chris, bridget, me and sam... bridget brought her video camera and taped alot of the night and interviewed people n such.. at around maybe like 11-11:30ish, ashley, ashley and chris left... and we all went inside and watched the video from the night.... bridget and rian got into a small dispute which made rian leave for a while... he did come back though... jordan, jr, kristen, sam and i all went to wawa, spent $30 on candy... came back and bridget and rian went to bridget's to get stuff... like clothes for bridget, the other tape, and she got a couple games.. she brought twister and life... while they were gone, jordan jr and i went outside to take off one of rian's tires.. but neither of them had a jack that would fit so they just took off the hubcap or whatever.. it was funny... then we went out back and played twister til like 4 in the morning... recorded alot of that... lol... it was fun... especially watching rian and jr and jordan playing lol... i got a few pictures of them... then we went inside and played life... til like 6 in the morning... during this time, jordan put random things down my pants and in my shirt lol... including fake money in between my boobs.... lol.... after it was over.... we all decided to leave... jr took me and kristen home... and jordan, rian and bridget all went their seperate ways...

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when i got home, around like 7:30ish, i wished mommy a happy birthday and went upstairs and passed out until like 11ish... then my dad woke me up to tell me i had to go with the family cause they were all going fishing... so i got dressed and all that good stuff... and when we got there at like 12:30, i layed a blanket down in the shade and just passed out til like 6-6:30 when momma went and got pizza... i ate and fell back asleep til we left at like 8ish... came home and got in the shower.. then chilled online... all was fine n good until me and kevin had a serious talk that left me upset and pissed off and angry and confused all at the same time... but whatever.. i don't exactly want to talk about that...

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one thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind... i didn't mean for this to go as far as it did, but what happens, happens.. and i'm sorry.











Days Left Of School: 18 days.

oh my beautiful one


:: 2004 21 May :: 4.56 pm
:: Mood: geeky
:: Music: yellowcard - ocean ave

happy birthday la!!!
another birthday entry for my wonderful great friend laura... we've been friends for like ever and although we faught a few times.. that's okay... you've been here for me throughout alot and over the years we've known each other, we've become awesome friends.. idk what i'd do if you weren't in my life.. you've changed me for the better and made me see what life is really about... you know i'm here for you... with everything going on i know its gotta be hard for you.. with mama and all... i love you so much and i pray that mama will be fine... and i hope everybody will pray that she's okay and that she'll make it through kemo and all... i know that in the end, everything will be fine.. you've got a great boyfriend.. joey loves you.. you guys have been together for a year and still going... and that's awesome.. i'm so happy for you that you found somebody to love and be with for the rest of your life and joey's a great guy... so i know he'll treat you right... happy 18th birthday la... think about it... you're legal now! well.. not yet, but tomorrow! <3 you girl

1 your sins into me | oh my beautiful one

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