Mike's So Called Life

:: 2007 8 April :: 10.46pm

Zicam is an ingenious product. It causes you to sneeze so many times in a row that your sinuses become clear. Just make sure you�re standing in front of a sink before you take it, there will be explosive emission.

Hi mom, how was your date, with your pimp?

Best journal entry, ever!

:: 2007 5 April :: 6.34am

1 comment | Tell Me What You Think

:: 2007 4 April :: 7.27pm

So My mom was here frome friday to this morning and I almost killed her numerous times. This was the first time we had spent that much time together though in...and i would not be exagerating....years. She is thinking about marrying Mike and wants me to think about being her maid of honor...gag.

In other, more happy news, I am flying out of Michigan as soon as my last exam is done on the 25th. I am going to stay with my Aunt Paula from the 25th of April to the 6th of May. I am SO excited.

Also My plane ticket to Prague came in the mail the other day. It is real. I am going to Europe this summer. weird.

Harrison is picking me up in few minutes and I have to print off a map. Hopefully after certain kids see David D. I will get a phone call with some details and we can catch up.

I finally have made peace with my Kalamazoo situation, mostly because I am realizing how temporary it is. I am happy again.

:: 2007 1 April :: 8.20pm

"Being gay is not a choice to be made but, rather, a fact one must eventually resign oneself to."

3 comments | Tell Me What You Think

jedibumblebee

:: 2007 1 April :: 12.51am

Travel Agent: Hi, come on in. What can I help you folks with today? Have a seat.

Male A-Hole: Yeah, we wanna take a trip. What kind you got?

Travel Agent: Well, we have all sorts of travel packages, do you know where you want to go?

Male A-Hole: Where ya wanna go, babe?

Female A-Hole: I don't care.

Male A-Hole: We don't care.

Travel Agent: Okay, well, I can help you with that. Would you like to go someplace warm?

Male A-Hole: Whaddya think, babe?

Female A-Hole: 'Bout what?

Male A-Hole: The warmth.

Female A-Hole: The WHAT?

Male A-Hole: Warmth.

Female A-Hole: Can I have a diet ginger ale?

Male A-Hole: Yeah, I'll take a lemonade.

Travel Agent: Uh, we don't serve drinks here. We do have water.

Male A-Hole: You want water, babe?

Female A-Hole: I hate water.

Male A-Hole: She hates water.

Travel Agent: Well, I guess a, uh, cruise is out of the question, then, huh?

Male A-Hole: Yeah, we don't get it.

Female A-Hole: Should he be showing us pictures or something?

Male A-Hole: Yeah, you guys got brochures?

Travel Agent: Of course. Here are a few of our, uh, popular destinations, all very beautiful. Are you, uh, familiar at all with the Yucatan?

Male A-Hole: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that place. Y'know that place, babe?

Male A-Hole: Know Yucatan?

Male A-Hole: You hear about that one--you heard 'bout that place, right, babe?

Male A-Hole: Babe, Yucatan?

Female A-Hole: Yah.

Male A-Hole: Yeah, we know it.

Travel Agent: Great, would you like me to pull up some more information for you?

Male A-Hole: I dunno. You wanna go there, babe?

Female A-Hole: Where's your ATM?

Male A-Hole: Yeah, she's gotta check her balance.

Travel Agent: Uh, look, folks, we don't have one of those here. There is a Seven-Eleven across the street.

Male A-Hole: Mm-hm. Wanna go over there, babe?

Female A-Hole: I wanna go to Europe.

Male A-Hole: You guys know where Europe is?

Travel Agent: Yes, we know where Europe is. Did you have someplace specific that you wanted to go, someplace specific in mind?

Male A-Hole: Yeah, whaddya think, babe?

Female A-Hole: I wanna drive there.

Male A-Hole: Yeah, we wanna do that.

Travel Agent: You can't drive to Europe.

Female A-Hole: I can if I drive a BOAT.

Travel Agent: So you want to rent a boat and drive it to Europe.

Female A-Hole: What STREET are we on?

Male A-Hole: Yeah, where are we?

Travel Agent: Look, why don't you two think about this some more, and when you narrow it down to a few places, come back. Okay?

Female A-Hole: I know where I wanna go.

Male A-Hole: All right, we got it, buddy. Where ya wanna go, babe?

Female A-Hole: England.

Travel Agent: Okay, England's great, it's a big place. There's, uh, London. Brighton's very nice. Did you have someplace in mind?

Female A-Hole: I wanna go to Hogwarts.

Travel Agent: You mean from the Harry Potter books?

Male A-Hole: Yeah. You guys got trips on magic school?

Travel Agent: Sir... that's not a real place.

Male A-Hole: Mm-hm. All right. They don't go to there, babe. Probably gotta go online for that, right, somethin' like Orbitz or somethin'?

Travel Agent: NO, it's a fictional place. You cannot GO there.

Male A-Hole: Right, right, right, gotta wait till summer, the wizards are outta school, right?

Travel Agent: No, never. It's impossible. You can never go to Hogwarts; it doesn't exist.

Male A-Hole: It's invisible, right.

Travel Agent: Look, you obviously don't know where it is that you want to go, so why don't you go home, and think it over, and come back when you've made up your minds.

Female A-Hole: I wanna go there.

Travel Agent: Where?

Male A-Hole: Where ya wanna go, babe?

Female A-Hole: I wanna go there.

Travel Agent: Ma'am, that's a poster of an airplane.

Female A-Hole: I know. I wanna go there.

Male A-Hole: Yeah, we wanna go there. How much?

Travel Agent: Get out. Get the hell out of here.

Male A-Hole: They're closin', babe.

Female A-Hole: Can you rub my shoulders? I slept weird.

Male A-Hole: Yeah, you guys do backrubs here?

Travel Agent: LEAVE!

Female A-Hole: Maybe a grilled cheese.

Travel Agent: Fine, you know what, I'm gonna go in the back, and I'm gonna get some coffee. When I come back, you two better be gone.

Female A-Hole: He looked like a rabbit.

Male A-Hole: Yeah.

:: 2007 29 March :: 11.28pm

Have you ever built, or wanted to build a female robot?

:: 2007 28 March :: 10.54pm

I love how Bones mocks god.

:: 2007 27 March :: 5.00pm

Well, I think I had one of the best weekends I can remember having all year. (being a senior hasn't done much for me) ANYWAY. I got the best hug ie the pick up and spin you kind when I got there, then I had a weekend of basketball, movies, darts, food and games. It was awesome. mostly I was just really glad to see Ryan, I needed my fix.

I also went and saw mike's mom and dad, and that was really a good thing. I was proud of myself because I was scared, but i made myself do it anyway.

ON to the bad news:

LAst night VEronica mars was interupted by some weird noises coming from the livingroom. I went out there and dunzo was hanging from the side of his cage by his back leg, which was broken, and he was flailing around and intermittnely passing out ( i think). so I FREAKED OUT because he wouldnt let me get near him and I needed to get him unstuck, so i called my mom and she calmed me down enough toget him unstuck and told me to call ryan to see if he would look up the scenario on the internet. so I called Ryan and had him "fact check" and he stayed on the phone til I calmed down. Dunzo is now resting comfortably in a box with some carrots and water and lots of fluffy bedding. I didnt realize how sad i would be until i almost lost him.

taoman1121

:: 2007 26 March :: 6.53pm
:: Music: The sound of my students sighing at their multiple-choice exams

D-Town hosts NCAA Tourneys
So, it appears that Ford Field will be getting some March Maddness-related attention in the next couple of years. In 2008, they will host one of the regional finals, and the following year they will host the Final Four. Here are the particulars:

Regionals: Friday and Sunday, March 28 and 30, 2008
Midwest Regional
Ford Field
Detroit, Michigan
Host: University of Detroit Mercy

Final Four: Saturday and Monday, April 4 and 6, 2009
Ford Field
Detroit, Michigan
Host: University of Detroit-Mercy

So, it would appear that the city didn't totally muck up its Super Bowl hosting duties. I hear it's a very impressive facility. Don't know when I'll ever make it there, but I'd like to one of these days.

:: 2007 24 March :: 3.27am

Top Twenty Reasons to Circumcise Your Baby Boy

1. Because all the women's magazines advise it
2. The Doctor offered a "twofer" special for him and his brother.
3. Because Mom's boyfriend is Muslim/Jewish/Whatever.
4. Because everybody else does it
5. So the neighborhood wives won't have yet another thing to gossip about.
6. So he won't look like he has "Gorilla Dick".
7. So he can feel included in the Fraternity of the Circumcised.
8. So it won't look like a rat in a garden hose.
9. So the flap won't get caught in the zipper.
10. To keep him from masturbating later on.
11. So Dad won't be jealous of his son's dick.
12. So the other kids won't call him "cheese dick"
13. If you prune it back, it will grow better.
14. Harvested foreskin provides collagen for cosmetic lip surgery(Did you know that's what you're wearing on your enhanced lips?).
15. Because cleaning it makes Mom nervous.
16. So that when he grows up and drops out of school, he won't be able to transport concealed drugs under his foreskin.
17. Because a circumcised penis always looks ready to go.
18. When he's old and senile, he'll be easier to catheterize.
19. It just looks so much more modern.
20. Because God wants to touch you in your private place.

:: 2007 20 March :: 12.27am

Today I have done good and bad in equal measure.

I went to class, talked to professors, picked up a shift, got my passport, signed up for classes, did homework and am writing a paper, I have done more taday and been more productive than I have been in weeks past combined, but all of this is now overshadowed by one bad:

I hurt a friend.

For that I am truly sorry, and the way in which the situation occured can only be resolved by explanation...if you are willing to listen...

You didn't answer your phone, and your email bounced back, so here is my message in a bottle...

:: 2007 19 March :: 11.56pm

I was just thinking about VEronica Mars, so some of you might not want to read past here:

So something has been bothering me lately. I REALLY like this show and I get really emotionally attached to the characters, but the thing that really has hit me lately is that I am a lot like veronica...bear with me...She really doesnt trust people and she runs from intimacy. She can love lots of things, but she can't say I love you to her boyfriend. she doesnt let herself really experience the emotions she feels and keeps herself distanced for fear of getting hurt ( presumably). I mean online kristen bell has been saying that logan is bad for veronica, but i think that logan and veronica are good for eachother. veronica make logan better and logan forces veronica to thaw out a little. he makes her feel things, even when she doesnt want to. and I know he is a huge player, but he doesnt cheat on her, she runs away and he looks for what he cant get from her elswhere. SHE always runs away or blows him off first then he gets another woman, and she wants him again. Avoidance is key in thier realtionship and I feel like I do that too. I avoid until I can't then If possible I lie or run away. There are a lot of things I want and I am afraid to go after them. I dont want to hurt, but I guess ploating along not feeling anything isnt working either.

Switching shows:

Our pain makes us real.

1 comment | Tell Me What You Think

:: 2007 19 March :: 3.19pm

sooooo, i was just cleaning out my inbox and I saw an email from fantasy moguls from...about forever ago and I thought I would check to see how everything turned out, and guess what? I WON! I WAS IN FIRST PLACE!!! TAKE THAT BITCHES!

that is all.