Case ID# 06-3855
Claim # 068934781

Is owning a black vehicle the equivalent of a black cat? I swear this truck is the devil. I mean how many times can I be rear-ended? How many times can I get broken into? How many wildlife creatures will try to commit suicide by damaging body panels?

Most of you know the previous installments, so I will only detail the latest in the Saga of Jimmy. At 11:08 PM CST, a pair of idiots happen upon a 1995 GMC Jimmy. This is not any ordinary Jimmy. This Jimmy belongs to none other than one Joseph P. Burgess. Well, our idiots believe this is enough reason to force entry into the vehicle. What our pair of idiots fail to realize is that Mr. Burgess parked Jimmy in front of his living room window. Not only that, but Mr. Burgess is sitting on his couch with the window open in plain view of said vehicle. Well, dumb and dumber go ahead and break the driver’s window. Upon hearing the glass break Mr. Burgess goes to the window in a state of undress and yells at the vandals scaring them away into the neighbor’s yard where they proceed to break into another vehicle.

Well, 911 was dialed. The operator was efficient and courteous, but not intelligent. 20 minutes later said operator calls Mr. Burgess back and tells him that police have searched outside and his vehicle is the only one broken into, and ask him to go outside and meet with the officer. Mr. Burgess is puzzled because said officer has not yet arrived. When Officer Chad Mroczenski arrives, he proceeds to prove that one must be of substandard intelligence to work for public safety. He asks which vehicle has been vandalized when in plain view of broken glass. After informing the officer that broken glass was the vandalization, he proceeds to open the door and look for further damage. When finding none, he slams the door sending what was left of the window into the interior of the vehicle. When asked for a case number Officer Mroczenski gets out his business card and proceeds to explain how it works and that there is a phone number on it. When pressed for the case number Officer Mroczenski becomes impatient and continues to explain how to use a business card and then writes the case number on the back.

Now that Officer Mroczenski is gone, Mr. Burgess puts in a call to Progressive. The entire time required to go through filing a claim is 7 minutes and 37 seconds. That is including going through the auto prompt menus and entering policy numbers. Why does it take less than 8 minutes to file a claim with an insurance company, but takes 20 minutes for police to respond?

What a fucking night. And I ripped my finger open on glass :-(

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