Mike's So Called Life

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:: 2006 2 June :: 11.30am
:: Music: Fiona again

i identify with many of her lyrics....
"Paper Bag"

I was staring at the sky, just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on, or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope
I said, 'Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,' he said
'It's all in your head,' and I said, 'So's everything'
But he didn't get it I thought he was a man
But he was just a little boy
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

:: 2006 2 June :: 2.56am

tired like whoa...
today was a very eventful day, here is a recap:

Yesterday crystal ams mel told me about going to party USA and invited me, i in turn invted them to hang out by the freshly opened pool. Degrandchamp of course got in on the festivities too. I came home last night and got to cleaning. I cleaned my bathroom and room pretty well and then got to sleep at 5am. I woke up at 945 to call crystal for a morning adventure to goodwill, and by the time she got here and we went there, we were hungryso we went to JJ and called mel and mike. mike didnt answer so i left a message, and mel couldnt decide, so we get to the car and mel says she wants some, so i go back insie and get her a sandwich, then right as i get back to the car again mike calls and says he wants soe too, so i went in for a 3rd time. finally we get to the ghetto and we eat and go to party usa. we looked around fro a while, it was fairly sparse on the piate themed decorations and such but by the time we left crystal had to get ready for work, then we called jon and mike decided to bail, so we just went to the ghetto and layed in mels backyard w/ jon. Mike ran some errands and then chillaxed too. Jon and mel made food and then the 3 houses decided to have a little (haha) party. Allisons had jello shots and beerpong, mels had a fire, and jons had beerpong (and drugs). I hung out byt the fire most of the night, and i had a lot of jelloshots, but they started to make me feel queasy, so i was drinking cherry coke, but for some reason this did not make people happy, so they hept giving me free beers. I stopped drinking really early though so i could drive home, but at like 215 i was at jons w/ some people and mike cut the shit out of his finger being a drunk-ass. I tried my best to help, then i came home. I am tired like whoa, but there are so many questions that i have in my head now. i will have to contemplate and get back to y'all.

PS. I love hugs.

:: 2006 1 June :: 4.16pm

Dead Man's Shoes looks like a good movie.

:: 2006 31 May :: 9.47pm
:: Music: VH1: Rock Honors

Go lick some ass?

1 comment | Tell Me What You Think

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 31 May :: 9.04pm

wow, i love my almost-husband.

bridal shower on sunday. sending out the wedding invites sometime before then. i love feeling like I've got things on track.

on a less positive note, my dj appears to have dropped off the face of the earth. which could totally suck, if I have to find somebody new.

also, i desperately need a new job.

TaoMan1121

:: 2006 31 May :: 5.32pm
:: Music: Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know (Acoustic)

"You are a man of extreme passion, a hungry man not quite sure where his appetite lies, a deeply frustrated man striving to project his individuality against a backdrop of rigid conformity. You exist in a half-world suspended between two superstructures, one self-expression and the other self-destruction. You are strong, but there is a flaw in your strength, and unless you learn to control it the flaw will prove stronger than your strength and defeat you."
- In Cold Blood

Coney Island pics behind the cut...
Read more..

2 comments | Tell Me What You Think

2 comments | Tell Me What You Think

:: 2006 31 May :: 11.31am

I love you, don't forget i have gone through very similar shit before, and i am here if you ever need me.

I took my CS midterm today and i am not feeling especially good about it. I thought i was prepared, but i was wrong. Also I do not have to work tomarrow or friday until 430pm, so if anyone can do anything tonight or tomarrow, cell me.

I love my new friends, they are fun and we make adventures all the time....but i miss you guys a lot. I never just chillax anymore, everything is always in motion and blurry and i havent really gotten the chance to conect with anyone on a deeper level. AND it is redonk how much alchi i consume with them. It feels like we never hang out without alchi or hookah or pot or cigs or something. I have not smoked any pot though, even though i have been offered numerous times.

Here is a song i have in my head:

This is not about love
'Cause I am not in love
In fact i cant stop falling out
I miss that stupid ache

(MICHELLE- remember the fat man in the water in the vid? HAHAHAHA)

:: 2006 29 May :: 11.50pm

well, tonight i watched the pistons lose, but with a very cute boy who seems very different than anyone i have ever met. the back of my thighs are fried and i saw 2 people i forgot existed. overall, great day...and night. I could have stayed and gotten drunk and high, played beerpong and ran through the sprinklers, but i decided to bail and sleep for my shift @ 8am. DAMN YOU KOHLS! Oh well, it was a long hot day and i am glad to be in my bed.

That is all, goodbye.

:: 2006 29 May :: 8.44pm

Roll a new love over
In the middle of the day there's a young man
Rolling around in the earth and rain
Hey mister if you're going to walk on water, you know
You're only going to walk all over me
Somewhere in middle America
Get right to the heart of matters
It's the heart that matters more
I think you'd better turn your ticket in
And get your money back at the door

i hate missing people, but unfortunately, it is inevitable.
I have given up my new love for an old one....me.

TaoMan1121

:: 2006 29 May :: 12.17pm
:: Mood: psyched
:: Music: Lit - Over My Head

This is me trying to make this work.
This is me lifting the clouds.
This is me enjoying summer as soon as it starts.

I'm not going to let everybody enjoy the beach while I sit at home. I'm going to Coney Island today.

3 comments | Tell Me What You Think

:: 2006 28 May :: 11.55pm

:: 2006 28 May :: 10.11pm

Eat this meat!

:: 2006 27 May :: 10.01am

um, i think i have gone retarded
So i think i have gone reterded, last night was the caddy party and i think...wait i KNOW i made an ass of myself in front of a lot of people from high school. I have been having a lot of social anxiety lately and i have therefore been drinking it away, and last night was no exception. I dont know what is making me all crazy-like when there are people around, but it is like a freakin compulsion to like run away. i need to do better.

I think it is hilarious that brad hated his hair...why did he let me cut it anyway? Well it is good now i guess....why do these boys trust me?

it is frusterating when the one person in the world you trust doesnt see you as the same way, because then little shit can get between you.

i am ecited to go back to the 'zoo and hang out with some people that i have actually seen in the last year...and like hanging uot with....who are not dying...yet.

last night i smoked a cig...no surprise there...but my friends here got all up in arms...there was a creep a leep involved...but that is not the point...one cig is nothing for me...i have done so well...especially lately when i have been hanging out with all these people that smoke all the time...i have only smoked probably 3 cig or cigars in the last month. I dont know how to impress upon them that they really need to not naysay on things they know nothing about. Cigs are bad...i know... i love you guys, but just leave it alone, my life, my lungs...none of you were looking into making out w/ me...AHHHHH Story: the creep a leep had his lighter on a retratctable cord to his pocket....HAHA...

on to better news:

:: 2006 27 May :: 2.19am
:: Music: Daddy Yankee: Rompe

"The last time I felt this much power underfoot was my brief but brilliant appearance at the 2004 Dominatrix, Slave and Small Appliance Convention "