I got to see my nephew the last few days and probably will see him again today..
I am very happy about that, but i dont like the circumstances behind it.
He is getting so big and learning so much, and I miss a lot of it.
And he looks so much like my sister, but he changes more and more each time I see him.

It has been a long stressful, packed week.
I'm not even sure what kind of crap there is going to have to be done tomorrow when I go back to work.
I know there was a lot to be done when I left on wednesday.

Going through pictures, seeing my whole family in pain, the visitations and the funeral were hard.
And even though all of those events took place, and I mourned, I don't know if I mourned completely.
I still don't feel like it really happened, like I am completely numb on the inside.
I know that she is gone and won't be coming back.
But it feels like she is on vacation and I just have to wait a couple weeks before I see her again.

And apparently my mom likes to share her germs, because Friday I started feeling really sick, and started to lose my voice.
So yesterday, I spent all day in bed, except for 2 hours.. I went to bed at midnight saturday morning, slept til 2:30, was awake for maybe an hour, then slept til 9, was awake until 12:00, and then slept until 10 this morning.
But I definitely needed it, and I am feeling better today.

Holla