fifteen there's still time for you, time to buy and time to lose...

:: 2004 10 June :: 5.29pm
:: Mood: great
:: Music: All that Jazz- Chicago

IT'S SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!

:: 2004 10 June :: 9.42pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: Wade In The Water (in head)

This is the best fucking site EVAR: http://oboe-ducks.cjb.net/

...and this is just funny.

We're talking about our summers. I have told him about mine, and asked him what all he'll be doing.

him: dc for two weeks, calc tutoring, football, and maybe finding a gf
Horseeyoregal: sounds pretty good
Horseeyoregal: dc is cool
Horseeyoregal: calc tutoring is smart
Horseeyoregal: football is hot
him: oh yeah
Horseeyoregal: and finding a girlfriend sounds like fun
him: its really not
him: it takes a lot of work and concentration
Horseeyoregal: football or finding a girlfriend?
him: both
him: but in different ways
Horseeyoregal: lol
him: yeah, its one thing to tackle a running back, its another to tackle a girl while shes on her back
Horseeyoregal: that was lame

2 smiles | make my day a little happier

:: 2004 9 June :: 7.25pm
:: Mood: thoughtful
:: Music: Lois Armstrong-What A Wonderful World

We are all blind...
...to the beauty of this earth. As I was walking between Ali and Louise's houses today, (with my handy-dandy post-it in hand in case I got lost...lol) I stopped and closed my eyes for a bit, feeling the warm breeze on my back, the sun on my shoulders... As I walked, eyes closed, on the sidewalk path down Angela, my other senses kicked in. I felt the warm, smooth pavement beneath my feet, the sun warming my face, my gym bag bouncing against my legs, the straps of my backpack clinging to my shoulders...

And I opened my eyes, as if it was for the first time, and I thought, "This is beautiful." If I was blind, this image would certainly be blurred by tears within a matter of seconds. Slightly squinting into the sun, I saw green trees, swaying in the breeze. I saw neatly-trimmed yards, full of green grass and landscaped flower beds. I saw a newly paved road, soaking up the sun.

It was beautiful.

4 smiles | make my day a little happier

:: 2004 9 June :: 3.38pm
:: Mood: sing-song-ey
:: Music: How Shall I Send Thee (in head)

LAAAAAAALAALALALAALAA!!!
*yawn* Walking down to Jamba and Noah's and Starbucks was cool. Yumm!

French final actually had a good prompt this time!! WHOO!! I think I did okay. Eh. Whatever. (Actually, I'm not sure about my grade in that class at the moment, so it DOES matter....)

Went downtown with Sarah and Alison. (Woah, deja vu!) Took pictures of our pink bras (fun stuff!) and went to Jamba, Posh, and Fish & Chips. Saw like the entire HS down there. But yeah, it's true-where else have we got to go?

Then Sarah bit me a few too many times so I walked to Louise's house for some bio studying. We decided that my acting debut is going to be in a porno. I'm going to de-sluttify the fact by saying that I'm doing a service to men by giving them pleasure. HA.

So apparently Deanna wrote in her xanga that "Mr. Shaull won't even give Mel an A!" Ummm...I'm flattered, but I got an A. :-/ I had an A- at the quarter, though...always room for improvement, he said.

Ummmm yeah. I'm such an ADD kid when it comes to bio. Louise was explaining things to me and I started writing all over my leg. It has like 5 lines of patterns down my calf and then it randomly says 'Monkey Sex!' by my knee. There's also a really funky spiral like down the side of my knee. It's cool.

ANYWAY, I'd better start the Molecular Biology studying. Later!!

2 smiles | make my day a little happier

:: 2004 8 June :: 6.31pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Liz Phair

today
I MADE GIRLS 21!!!!!!!!

YAY! Finals weren't too bad today. English was easy, but kind of sad. I am going to miss Ms. Robertson. She is cool. Mr. Green, on the other hand, wasn't even there. I guess I will kind of miss him. He was funny and a pretty good teacher. Anyway, the final was pretty hard. I hope I did OK... but hey, it's all good.
Then Louise, Marcella, Rachel, and I went to my house and we ate cookie dough and had a GRAND time.
Only two days left for us without 0 or 7 finals!!!!

6 smiles | make my day a little happier

:: 2004 8 June :: 1.19pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Lost In The Wilderness-Children of Eden

WHOOO!!
I MADE GIRLS 21

And my one final today was REALLY easy!

I was planning on writing this long entry about my adventures trying to make pesto (which, I must say, I MASTERED!!) but I'm too hyper to care right now. :0D

P.E. and French II finals tomorrow. Pretty easy day.

Darius deHaas needs to do me. HE IS SO SEXY. MMMMM!! (Cain in Children of Eden.)

OK fuck. I just clicked on some retarded link that must've just been a virus. I got a random chat invitation with a bunch of loser crack-heads in it. CRAP. I'm totally telling this frat dickhead to stfu. It's kinda fun. He's really an ass.

ANYWAY...I think that's enough swearing for a while. And I think that's all for now. See ya tomorrow!

:: 2004 7 June :: 7.33pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Fuck, Fuck, Fuck I Should Be Studying For Geo-Melissa's Musical Magic

I WILL NOT SURRENDER TO THE IMPEDING DOOM OF CRIB NOTES!!
1 day ago: I made pizza for homeless people, suffered from sunburn, was touched at a reception for David (the church organist), sang in church, (miserably, though Shaull told me I sounded good) thought Gabe was the hottest drummer EVER, learned how to play Hearts, (what a dumb game!) and screamed because Avenue Q performed at the Tony's.
1 week ago: I had a voice lesson, did minimal homework, and wasn't worried about finals.
1 year ago: I was preparing for 8th grade graduation, excited for summer, relieved that I didn't have any fucking finals to worry about, was SUPER excited for CU and marching band, and had no idea what an AWESOME year I was going to have next fall.
I hurt: Because of my EXTREME sunburn!! Also because I didn't work harder in Geo H and World Studies, and because, though guys flatter me all the time, I STILL DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!! (FUCK! It sucks to be me!)
I love: EVERYONE! I have a crush on every boy! lol. I love too many people, and I love so deeply that I am often faced with unrequited love.
I hate: Stupid people, unrequited love, indecency, confusion, abstract thought, being single, and caring so goddamn much.
I fear: Getting a B- in Geo (AHH!), an A- in World Studies (NOO!) dying a virgin, marching band season (for political reasons) staying sunburned forever, and not getting my crib notes done.
I hope: that people appreciate me for who I am, NOT my sex drive, that I FIND A GODDAMN BOYFRIEND, that I GET INTO G21, that MSS will eventually become a reality, that I can handle all my classes next year, that I get into a good college, that a certain person is willing to try to love me again, and that I have a blast this summer.
I feel: Super worried that I won't get my crib notes done, anxious to see the G21 list tomorrow, happy that school is almost out, but mostly stressed becuase of finals.
I listen: Always. Even when I shouldn't. I listen with my heart as well as my mind.
I hide: from the truth. I hide from the things I don't want to hear. I hide from feelings that bring me down.
I drive: not. I don't drive.
I play: with guys. jpd. But I guess I do, actually. I play oboe and clarinet, some piano, and used to be good at soccer and volleyball.
I miss: Marching band, and the relationships that went along with it. SOO man people I don't talk to anymore. I miss having a boyfriend. I miss being 5 and carefree.
I learned: To be more outgoing, and tons of crap that'll never help me in life.
I know: That next year will be tons of fun!
I wait: for another person to realize how much they love me. For the day I make MSS.
I need: To finish my crib notes. To stop obsessing over boys. To learn to be faithful.
I think: That I'm a bit on the narcissistic side. That some people are REAL BASTARDS!! That a lot of people need to grow up and quit pissing me off.
Current Mood: Anxious. Wanting school to be over.
Current Music: Salut Printemps in my head
Current Taste: leftover hamburger from my partay.
Current Hair: ponytail. and very curly because of sara's masterpiece.
Current Annoyance: the fact that my crib notes are NOT done.
Current Smell: the hamburger I'm eating.
Current thing I should be doing: studying for finals and my GEO CRIB NOTES!!
Current Desktop Picture: a sexay picture of Ethan from Survivor without a shirt on.
Current Favorite bands/singers: Avenue Q, Idina Menzel, Chanticleer
Current Book: Sloppy Firsts. cute.
Current Movie In DVD: Bridget Jones' Diary (just saw it)
Current Refreshment: water
Current Worry: Finals.
Current feeling: YESS now i can go do my crib notes!! oh, and i want some potatoe salad.

2 smiles | make my day a little happier

:: 2004 7 June :: 4.33pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: G21-Salut Printemps

guys
so this is what i see when i log on:

anonymous guy number 1: "hey. how's it goin? how's that sunburn?" -aww that's nice of you to ask!

anonymous guy number 2: "they tried to handcuff me to the bed. although, it did put ideas in one's head. ;-) this is when you know we cyber too much." -okayy...now that was an interesting evening. but cyber too much? IMPOSSIBLE!

anonymous guy number 3: "heyy! ;-) i have this image of you grabbing ur boobs stuck in my head. o mann..oh baby oh baby. i just wanna hug you all over. and slobber all over u. man, ur fun. i'm going to love chrorale class. *image of boob grabbing* hehe mel...yummy. i love her too." -okkayyy there honey. calm down! they're just boobs! but hey, no protest here for the hugging and slobbering! (just remember, hun, that you have a girlfriend!!)

right, so. geometry HONORS (lol) and survey comp/lit finals tomorrow. should be not-so-bad. need an 82 on the geometry HONORS final to maintain a B. should be do-able. JUST LIKE MYSELF!!

so i'll end with the everpresent question: IF I TURN YOU ON, WHY WON'T YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!?!

9 smiles | make my day a little happier

:: 2004 7 June :: 6.22pm
:: Mood: stressed... i guess
:: Music: Jubilate Deo

the weekend
what a crazy weekend. saturday, as u SHOULD know (haha jk!), was my 15th BIRTHDAY! yay. it was tons of fun. marcella and rachel and shri gave me a super lucky pencil with which i definately think i aced my SAT 2s with! (yes, i had to take them on my birthday. groan.) after that, though, i opened presents and then went to a birthday brunch! pancakes, yummy! THEEEEEN, i ummm, listened to music and danced around my room. then i went to melissa's which was super fun! yay for romance novels!!!!!
then yesterday, i went to my neighbor's memorial and cried my eyes out because it was SO sad. she was like this �BER pianist who was like SO talented! i used to be able to hear her play when i was in my room and i hav all these cool memories from when I was little. The memorial service was really nice. THis INTERNATIONALLY ACCLAIMED pianiist came to play and he was just like... AMAZING. I was a total waterworks because my neighbor and him were friends and students together and when he was playing... he started crying. OMG. any of u who really know me can pretty much picture it. SAD!
today was ok. kinda bittersweet that everything is wrapping up! like, i am really going to miss my English teacher... but on the other hand I am really not going to miss Mrs. Ya�ez! Oh well. And yes, I should be studying! Wish me luck... bio tomorrow, ugh!

PS Louise and Nicole, mark your calenders for June 14-16. Talk to me when you can ;)

PPS OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT!!!!! MRS. DARBY IS COMING TO VISIT!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

:: 2004 5 June :: 9.03pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: RENT-No Day But Today

Life is good. :0D
Today was pretty darn awesome. A few random things:

If I had the time, I would SOO lease Dante and make sure no one else could ride him. I'd make him not be grumpy and jump him HIGH. It would be fun...

Gotta love my lack of participation in Girls' Ensemble recently.

Shaull: Melissa, what do you think?
Me: Ummm...I liked the oboe and the bassoons...
Class: laughs
Shaull: I wonder why...
Monique: What? Why?
Someone: Because she PLAYS the oboe...
Monique: Ohhh...

Just read Anasasia. (Remember that Disney movie from a long time ago?) Well I didn't. But Rachel and Gabi brought it up when we were discussing Disney movies last week. But ANYWAY, I found like an 88 page book of it. So I read it in about half an hour. Very amusing. She falls in love with Dimitry in the end. SO CUTE. And the other guy's name is Vladimir. So classic. lol. Pretty cute, simplistic plot. A nice half hour.

The MSS list being posted today was SOO GREAT!! I felt just like I'd made it...but not! Ya know? It was sooo wonderful to see all of my friends from CC and GE make it! I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Math grade=not good. Bio grade=okay, but not great. French=screw it. I'll get a B+. Everything else=whatever. I'm pretty sure I have A's.

So yeah. Finals week next week. Am planning on not going completely crazy...

1 smile | make my day a little happier

:: 2004 3 June :: 11.28pm
:: Music: Toxic, haha. louise's fault!

I <3 Louise
Wheezy6125 (8:25:48 PM): i just feel really sumb
Wheezy6125 (8:25:51 PM): *dumb
gotmusic111 (8:25:53 PM): LOL

:: 2004 3 June :: 7.05pm
:: Mood: hyper

Lalalalalaaaa!
crystal heart
Heart of Crystal

What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 2004 3 June :: 4.20pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: Jubilate Deo-THAT ONE WE NEVER SANG WITH G21!! *snarl*

Jack's Journey Photos!
W00t! I can't figure out how to just post the links of the ones that are flattering, but I'll send you the link for them all if you IM me and I deem you worthy...;0)

Oh and, yeah, my smilies like this: :0D are just smilies with big noses. (Apparently they're hard to understand SARAH!)

Sorry for clogging up everyone's friends' lists! *cough YOU ALL NEED TO UPDATE MORE cough*

No killer bees today. Fun in bio when Ms. Bishop threw us an ice cream partay! (But don't tell 0 or 1st period--she doesn't love them as much!!)

Math is poopy. Need an 87 on the final just to have a B. (Well, as far as I know at this point.) Not good. WAHHH!

I just realized that this Saturday is going to ROCK!! YES!!!

Right well...got to find a compass and do my math homework. Stupid math...grumblegrumble. Oh well. I got a 95% on my Vietnam test! :0D

6 smiles | make my day a little happier

:: 2004 2 June :: 7.04pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: La Vie Boheme-RENT

Yeah, k. Not wanting to do my math homework.
To days of inspiration, playing hookie, making something out of nothing, the need to express, to communicate, to going against the grain, going insane, going mad, to loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension, to starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension, not to mention of course, hating dear old mom and dad, to riding your bike, midday past the three- piece suits, to fruits, to no absolutes, to Absolute- to choice, to the Village Voice, to any passing fad, to being an us-for once-instead of a them, to hand-crafted beers made in local breweries, to yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese, to leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo, to huevos rancheros, and Maya Angelou, emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion, creation, vacation, mucho masturbation, compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new, to Sontag, to Sondheim and anything taboo, Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage, Lenny Bruce, Langston Hughes, to the stage, to Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda, too, Brothers! bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman, German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein, Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana,to apathy, to entropy, empathy, ecstasy, Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC, to no shame, never playing the Fame Game, to marijuana, to sodomy, It's between God and me, to S & M, la vie Boheme!

:: 2004 2 June :: 5.07pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: The Nightmare Before Christmas-Jack's Lament

Today I got stung by a bee!
It was really icky. It landed on my arm so I swatted at it (knowing perfectly well that this was a BAD idea) and it stung me. Its butt was attached to the stinger which was like IN MY ARM and the butt was like moving from side to side. It was very disturbing. Oh well. Mrs. Lodge got it out for me. Haha. Oh and I ran the mile in 8:24 today!! WHOO!! (Actually, probably less because people who came in after me were like 8:18 or something, but whatever.) That's good for me! Yay!

Really glad I didn't have to vocalize with Mr. Shaull today. My voice was all airy and weird and I could like HEAR the air in my head and sinuses. It was WEIRD.

So I think Sarah's bra size is...jk! But that was amusing. And frapeccino being flicked in my face...lol! (Ali, Sara, Sarah and I went downtown. Twas fun.)

I GOT THE SAME GRADE ON MY FRENCH TEST/QUIZ AS CHARLIE!! YESSS! No, I was NOT playing with his hair, I was like...smoothing it unsuccessfully. No seriously. Maybe it was unintentionally flirtatious but it was tres amusante. And yes, I did hug him. I was happy to get the same grade as him! Sheesh you guys. But whatever. Charlie's cool.

OHH BEAUUUUTIIIFULLL FOR SPAAACIOUS SKIES Is it just me or does that arrangement really SUCK? Oh well, whatever. Not looking forward to burning in the nun dresses, though. I'll miss all of the hot seniors!! And the cool girl seniors!! WAHH! (Update on that later.)

Let's see...am I done? I don't have any homework tonight but math!! WHOO! Yes, I think I'm done. Alrightey then. Ta ta!

8 smiles | make my day a little happier

:: 2004 1 June :: 4.18pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown-Theme

It was hot today.
What Would You Do If
I cried:
I lied to you:
I asked you to help:
I was becoming suicidal:
I killed myself:
I died from natural causes:
I said I liked you:
I asked you on a date:
I kissed you:
I started smoking:
I stole something:
I was hospitalized:
I ran away from home:
I got in a fight and you were there:

Would You
Be my friend:
Be my boyf/girlf:
Buy me stuff:
Tell me the truth, no matter what:
Lie to make me feel better:
Spread rumors about me:
Keep a secret if I told you one:
Loan me some cash:
Hold my hand:
Take a bullet for me:
Take me to the movies:
Keep in touch:
Try and solve my problems:
Love me:
Do me:

The answer to the last question better be a 'yes'...;-)

Stephen is a funny, funny man...and I could count the number of people who'd get that on one hand. (Well, that read this.)

Have to say I'm glad that there wasn't Concert Choir today. An opportunity to do some last-minute studying and whatnot. Very nice.

I'm kinda sunburned from studying in the sun and swimming/eating at Ali's house. BUT I'M GONNA BE TAN!! WHOOO! Yeah okay, so I'm still albino. :-/

Kinda wondering, seeing as it's close to senior graduation and all, what I should do to bring closure to this one thing... I really don't think he has any intention of talking to me, though, so whatever. *sigh* I really don't want to be remembered as a bitch and a wanna-be whore.

It really sucks how relationships with people change so dramatically over time.

I really need to start eating better. Planning on a less-strict summer diet this year, but GOSH I've been eating horribly recently. Lots of pizza and stuff.

Right then. I'll just go along and eat some MORE carbs now. If anyone wants to help me study french tonight (like, around 8:30 or 9) feel free to call!

:: 2004 1 June :: 9.06pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Jesus Christ Superstar-What's the Buzz

So apparently I'm supposed to update twice a day...
...because of obsessive people reading my journal! LOL!! Oh well, that makes me feel special...:0D

Ya know who else made me feel special today? ALI AND SARAH!! I had a plea for gummy bears as my away message so they bought me gummy bears and showed up at my house! It's been a while since people have shown up unexpectedly at my house...lol!

Ok well I'm super sleepy so sorry for a boring entry. I woke up around 9:30, had a voice lesson, went to Diddams, studied outside (and began to burn) and then ate gummy bears with Sarah and Ali! :0D Cleaned me room, begged to go to Ali's for dinner, then was allowed to after studying for 2 hours.

Studied, went to Ali's house, ate pizza and pie, swam, signed her yearbook, dove, had some spiffylicious fun with Sarah and Ali. Yup!

It's been a very pizzalicious weekend! Had pizza Wednesday at like 11 after the Choral concert and then with Louise and Nicole at Frankie, Johnny, and Luigi's on Saturday. Pizza is nummy...

So I'm really REALLY sleepy and pink on my chest and shoulder, so I'm going to go to sleep.

See you tomorrow! Everyone has to sign my yearbook!! Maybe I'll give it to somebody at brunch because I have Concert Choir at lunch...

:: 2004 30 May :: 1.44pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: What Do You Do With a B.A. In English?-Avenue Q

If you were gay, that'd be okay...
I mean, cause HEY! I like you anyway!

Now before I go any further, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY, JEFF!! *insert clarinet playing and card-giving here* :0D Wow I feel bad for not doing anything. :0(

Well let's see...today is the first Sunday of Pentecost...and...umm...yeah. Thomas was at church today. *nudges Nicole* He was being very dramatic. Very entertaining.

I got my yearbook on friday (did I mention that?) so you guys can all sign this week and during finals, k?

I'm sure all of the guys out there would appreciate hearing that I bought a bright pink bra and thong today. Mhmmm. I also bought some running shoes and some cute tennis shoes. Joy.

Well I really don't have anything else to say. :-/

Later!

:: 2004 29 May :: 3.04pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: The More You Ruv Someone-Avenue Q

sorry for such long posts recently...

M Modern
U Unforgettable
S Shy
I Inspirational
C Courageous
A Awkward
L Luscious
B Bold
A Ambivalent
B Bold
E Elitist

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

M	Mushy
E	Easy
L	Luxurious
I	Intelligent
S	Serious
S	Smart
A	Adventurous

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Yes, they often contradict themselves in the same name. Oh well. My favorites are 'easy' and 'unforgettable'. LOL!