guess what!!! i went bathing suit shopping and no insecurities and no tears.....its pink plaid.....its sooooooo cute...sicne my family has been arguing non stop for like a month...they have stopped and now my mom and dad feel guilty so we get whatever we want...oh yey...it wont change anything...but tomorrow im going to ai and friday too and maybe wed...i WANT a tan badly...and and and i got an application from old navy because they are hiring so hopfully i get that job...and saturday i get my license...and tuesday i take off my expander...dude my mouth is finally free to do what it does...hehe yey...this week kicks ass...and reminder call nessa...ahh...hehe...oh yea im going to pick up a guy this spring break....i cant go one spring break without picking some one up....last year i picked up some guy i forgot his name...lol....he was cute untill he started smoking...i was like okay nevermind...oh wellz i learned...i rented lord of the rings two...whatever the name of that one is...i love those movies now....they are good..well im out...bye bye peeps...

I want him, and yet I set my boundaries, never to be crossed. My best friend, although a lover he will never be.

With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss. No story book ending for this fairy tale of you. Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your lifeless hand. Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end. Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end. (Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person, and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze. It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is A reminder of what I'll never have I'll never have... I'll never...

So you turned your back on a world that you could never have.
'Cause your heart's been cracked and everyone else's is goin' mad.
But I hear voices, and I see colors. But I wish I felt nothing.
Then it might be easy for me like it is for you.
And I know you believe that you and me don't belong here.
And the worst we could do is keep trying to pretend we care.
I Wish I Felt Nothing - Wallflowers

Nude
I'm sitting here before you
Yet I find myself alone
My heart and soul are bared
My chance with you has flown
I'm not sure if I feel pain
Perhaps it's just relief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Crying in disbelief
Somehow I thought we'd last
I thought in you I'd found
Something that won't crumble
Something that was sound
I'm not sure if I feel pain
Perhaps it's just relief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Crying in disbelief

Do you love me when you put me down?
Is it love that finds my faults?
You say I'm just a little girl
Full of memories and quotes
I'm not sure if I feel pain
Perhaps it's just relief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Crying in disbelief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Exposed
Afraid
Alone

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