cutie2187
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2004 4 March :: 3.56pm
today hmm was okay...1 month for me and marcos tomorrow...and sat is his birthday he is 16...wow...umm what else...i think im going to cheat on marcos i dont know its a feeling...i dont know i just yea...i havent been me for a long time so i dont know much right now...and really the only person that knows what really is going is mike so yea...and he doesnt even know half of it...so anywho im tired and i hate this...so i want to take a nap before alex gets here....when he does get here i got some ass to whoop...bye
horoscope:
Sometimes even disciplined people like you have to take a risk. It's a good day to talk to someone you've been too shy to approach -- your good luck and sense of humor will get you through even if you don't know exactly the right words to say.
Fine Again
by Seether
It seems like everydays the same
and I’m left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is gray
and there’s no color to behold
They say it’s over and I’m fine again, yeah
Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here
And I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well
I feel the dream in me expire
and there’s no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar
‘cause I can’t seem to get this through
You say it’s over, I can sigh again, yeah
Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here
And I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late; just as well
And I’m not scared now.
I must assure you,
you’re never gonna get away
And I’m not scared now.
And I’m not scared now. No…
I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well
I am prepared now,
seems everything’s gonna be fine
For me, for me, for myself.
For me, for me, for myself
For me, for me, for myself
I am prepared now for myself
I am prepared now, and I am fine again
2 READ |
CMNT
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cutie2187
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2004 3 March :: 4.53pm
:: Mood: ....
:: Music: Chevelle
yuckyness vs. yummyness...hmm who will win?!?!?!
anywho today was uneventful...wow i know aa entry..i think too much lately...look what i came up with now...well first let me begin where all this happened...am i wrong that im 16 and want to be with someone and want to be happy and shit...i just want to find someone that when im happy i go to them to share my happiness...then if im sad i go to them for help or talk to them because i know deep down that they are the only person that can make me feel better or cheer me up....i want to feel comfortable with them...and i want to be with them forever when im with them....i want just them...i dont want them to want me to change or i don't want them to change...i just want them to accept me and be happy with me....hehe okay im done with that...just babbling about wanting something...hehe...anywho well a couple days ago me and my friends were talking about the show one tree hill...btw last nights episode was soo ironic...wow...so well people said im like peyton so i was thinking about it and im like wow thats true im like her...she is all emo and depressed but then in school is happy and involved...but only her true friends know her...and thats me...i mean come on....not exactly but to any character on tv thats my soul mate...hehe...today at lunch it was a blast...it was me and marcos in the beginning...i dont know im starting to really like him...but thats beside the point right now...umm yea me anthony "padilla" crystal james and some girls...were just running around being dumb...it was fun....then my first...arg i hate my teacher now...whatever she can suck a dick for all i care...i know i said it...then 2nd...hehe hmm i wasnt in class barely....i got olivia out of 2nd and then we both got marcos out...yup and today he wrote my name down for military ball...i got mike taking nessa...so all me friends are going that are outside my lil groupie...it will be fun....whosh dancing...yey....WORSE part...DRESS ahh..hehe oh wellz...my plan is to wear a dress there and then put pants on under the dress so im good and happy....i hate dresses...oh shit i forgot to tell olivia about shopping saturday...oh wellz tomorrow...and tomorrow i might go with jerrica after school cause me and her need to go out and buy marcos’s b-day gift...hehe wow...he is 16...im older...hehe wow...i know...im a dork...im getting to many crushes now-a-days oh wellz...hmm i wish i had 8th period today...oh wellz i got to go..ttyl bye bye bye
Character Suicide
Why do I live?
Why do I die,
Why do I go through life,
Always wondering why?
The world seems to hate me.
They never understand
There always trying to mold me
Into something grand
I’m always criticized
I’m always punished for
Their Stupid laws
Which I really abhor
Yet indeed I am mourned
By my worst foe
Not one of them really cares
Their putting on a show
Their laughing at me now
As I watch from above
Its just another
Hurt causing shove
They one thing I wished for
The one thing I needed
Was the one thing
They hadn’t even heeded
All I wanted was
For someone to love me
For someone willing to
Show me mercy.
But instead I perished
I just gave up and died
I chose to get away
By committing Suicide
I gave up my body
I gave into my demise
Because I saw through
Your detestable lies
But I’m still alive
I’m still here
I just wear a mask
Of darkness and fear
So remember
When your looking at me
your looking at someone
Who hides to be free.
2 READ |
CMNT
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cutie2187
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2004 2 March :: 8.42pm
i had a good day but i fee shitty and i need to talk to mike and he might visit me tomorrow....im so sick of people...oh wellz...
i got this from someones journal and i liked it...
oh i throw it all away,
like throwing faces at the sky,
like throwing arms around yesterday.
i stood and stared
wide-eyed in front of you,
and the face i saw looked back
the way i wanted to,
but i just can't hold my tears away
the way you do.
...believe i never wanted this.
i thought this time i'd keep all of my promises.
i thought you were the girl i always dreamed about,
but i let the dream go,
and the promises broke
and the make-believe ran out...
CMNT
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