purplesmurfs
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2004 16 March :: 9.52pm
Feelings
2-9-04
Even if I had a thousands years
And the answers in front of me
I wouldnt be able to describe
How much I love you or need you
It seemed to be easy for you
Because you are sure of your feelings
But me, I cant find the words
So I try to fight the rage
That hides behind these eyes
*ride my star*
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purplesmurfs
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2004 16 March :: 9.51pm
Just forget it
1-19-04
You broke my heart
Into a thousand pieces
No glue will ever fix
The mess you've made
So dont even try
Dont apologize either
Because I'll just come back
And suffer again
I thought I'd learn
But I guess the second time
Was nothing but a show
Just let me walk away
Thats what you always seem to do
Let me shed all these built up tears
So I wont ache as long
Im so sick of your games
Why do you play them with me
There must be some reason
That you always come back
Could it be for the pleasure
Of watching me break down in tears
*ride my star*
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purplesmurfs
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2004 16 March :: 9.50pm
In my dreams
1-22-04
I met you in my dreams
The only happy place I have
You held my hand so tight
I can still feel it there
Even when I lie awake
When will I see you again
Do I have to fall asleep and dream
To even make an image of your face
Come alive and hold me tight
Were you just a dream
Something to keep my mind busy
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 16 March :: 4.06pm
:: Music: Forever December
im cool you're not. ha.
so today lisa was driving and she pulls out of burger king, and is all like "woah! cars"..made me feel safe. ;)
yeah. im bored. so are you, i know it..because if you werent you wouldnt be reading stupid online journals. anyways, im leaving..talk to you later bitches.
2 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 13 March :: 10.44am
:: Music: Pink Floyd- another brick in the wall
hey, teachers, leave them kids alone!
well tonight i go to the play..shall be fun(if i can find a ride). its fun hanging out with those crazy kids. i dont know what im gonna do today..im bored out of my mind already and its only 10. *shrugs*
so if anyone cool wants to hang out..or something let me know. ;)
7 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 9 March :: 4.46pm
:: Music: AFI
the bunnie says meow.
you would think i would be somewhat sad, maybe even a little angry..but im not. and it kinda scares me. ah well.
i cant stop smiling..lets hope it lasts. i am content. its nice..god i hope tomorrow turns out.
i have been looking at my blank schedule for a few days..and i finally have it filled out. im shocked i got into both of the classes i really wanted. next year im gonna have to take a few things more seriously. but i know i can..who cares who ever doesnt think i can. i know i can so take that. hah.
5 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 8 March :: 8.29pm
too many updates for one day..
so this random aol person starts talking to me..and turns out im not as "down" as i thought i was.
LEPUDGE90: who is diss???
stacy: dis be yo mom
LEPUDGE90: w/e
LEPUDGE90 : yo psming like woah..
stacy: word. home skillet.
LEPUDGE90: what up?
stacy: i be chillin at da holiday inn
LEPUDGE90: holiday? u mean holla dai innn
stacy: my bad
atleaste i tried..right?
6 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 8 March :: 7.47pm
:)
that was the best unexpected visit i could have gotten from a boy wearing a hat with pink bunny ears. haha.
3 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 8 March :: 4.40pm
so i was walking down the road and there was this dog..
i got accepted to tv productions and you didnt...HA!
3 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 7 March :: 12.42pm
:: Music: Tool
read it. i dare you.
weekend was alright. didnt get to see anyone..when i dont see my friends i tend to go crazy. if only some made any effort at all to see me..or if i made any effort to see them. yes well..hmm..
im not even in the play and im gonna miss play practice, i liked hanging out with all those crazy kids. this day is gonna waste away..*shrugs*
its snowing. i hate snow.
my mom asked me an interesting question today. well not really..she asked me who my best friend was. i had no answer. she asked me who i hang out with in school and i said guys..then she replied with a "good." turns out she also believes guys are better friends.(no one give me that "i thought i was your best friend" shit either, i dont want to hear it). if i had one i would know who it is. so as it turns out..i dont really have any close friends. maybe like two. maybe.
its hard to forget when you dont want to. it is also hard to not worry when you care too much.
6 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 3 March :: 5.01pm
go away. then stay there.
nothing makes a crappy day better than an even crappier ending to go along with it..am i right? i didnt think so..
7 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 29 February :: 5.13pm
:: Music: Hot Hot Heat- Bandages
just me. talking waaaay too much.
if you go to the grocery (i hate that word..its so odd) store..make sure you are not hungry..you will want everything. i made my mom buy stuff i dont even eat. than my mom leaves me by the bulk candy..and everytime she looked at me i was eating different candy so she kept yelling at me..you also may be tempted to just grab something out of the cart and eat it..and than become paranioid because the workers are glaring at you. yes well..it made it a not fun trip to the store today..wow i talk a lot. well too bad for you..because you're gonna keep reading it expecting something important (there wont be anything important).
i went to church today. i felt nice to go..im gonna go every sunday from now on. however i have a few thoughts on the donating money thing. if you care..read this: Read more.. if you dont care..i hope you have a nice day anyways, later.
15 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 27 February :: 3.04pm
:: Music: Coheed & Cambria- The Crowing
hey look at me, im cool.
finally the weekend..it has seemed this week has been one of the longest weeks of my life..yes well..anyways.. the concert kicked a lot of ass. the bands were all really good. i really liked Forever December and Clearly Blind. it was nice to see robby and dusty playing again, they put on an awesome show. i hope they play again soon..and hey i saw where the lead singer said he puked, yeah he didnt lie, haha. i would also like to add i enjoyed the TBS cute without the e cover..it rocked. i am proud. ;)
anywhore..i may go to the game tonight..anyone care to join me? while joining me would you like to bring me there and bring me home? haha..yeah didnt think so. later kids.
3 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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fadingfallenstar
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2004 25 February :: 4.46pm
i quit.
people bother me. a lot.
12 *ride*s |
*ride my star*
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purplesmurfs
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2004 24 February :: 10.01pm
:: Mood: *teary*
:: Music: *little moments- brad paisley*
*i miss him too much to care about anything else*
I miss the way he looks at me. The way he touches my face, and kisses my forehead. The way he knows the right thing to do, to cheer me up, even though I havent told him whats wrong. The way he knows exactly where to put his arms. The fact that he instantly knows when Im cold, and he warms me up. The things he says. The many times that he tell me I'm beautiful. And no matter how many times he says it, it never gets old. I miss him. His smell. His smile. Everything about him. Everything he is, is everything I've ever dreamed of. He had the balls to tell me, that he's not in my league. I'm from Belding. I dont have money. I dont try, for anything. Im only 16. He's the one with the money. Smarts. Basically everything.
I dont deserve any of this. What have I done to deserve this?
*ride my star*
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